CCG’s Cave of Confessions

“When I was 20 or so, I was house-sitting in the home of friends of my parents while they were out of town for the holidays.

It was a big old Victorian house, in much need of updating, and lacked cable tv (this predated the internet), but I could help myself to any food or beverages while I was there.

One night I came home high as fuck, with killer munchies. Looking around the butler’s pantry, I found a box of Chex mix and began eating it by the fistful right there in the pantry. I’d probably eaten a third of the box when I looked at the Chex mix in my hand and saw the meal worms. 🐛 so. Many. Meal. Worms.


I’ve never been able to eat Chex mix since.”
Ok, if you aren't going to use discretion or warn us before testing the screen plays for your next horror flick, I'm not going to visit anymore.
 
Good! 😊

Being serious for a moment - I don't want to speak for the guys, but my guy does, in fact, like a BJ even if he doesn't cum. Sometimes a sleepy suck and a cuddle at bedtime is all we need to relax. No Os required for either of us. It's just another form of intimacy.
Ok, I don't want to shame anyone or criticisize but how did I get old and just find out that some men don't like blow jobs? I've been on this planet a while. Why did no one tell me?

For the record, I'm a big baseball fan. Baseball has this thing called pinch hitting. So I'm just saying, I'm willing to be Harold Baines (or whoever your favorite pinch hitter is). Don't tell my wife but I think i just found my retirement gig.
 
Ok, I don't want to shame anyone or criticisize but how did I get old and just find out that some men don't like blow jobs? I've been on this planet a while. Why did no one tell me?

For the record, I'm a big baseball fan. Baseball has this thing called pinch hitting. So I'm just saying, I'm willing to be Harold Baines (or whoever your favorite pinch hitter is). Don't tell my wife but I think i just found my retirement gig.
Predictable.
 
Ok, I don't want to shame anyone or criticisize but how did I get old and just find out that some men don't like blow jobs? I've been on this planet a while. Why did no one tell me?
It happens sometimes. We all have our reasons.

10.23.14-turn-teeth-into-sharp-fangs-square-phlearn.jpg
 
“I once dated this guy who was into S&M and I was intrigued so I went along with it. He was not a very dominant looking person, as in he had a bit of a baby face despite being us both being in our mid-20s. The first time he tied me up I couldn’t stop giggling and he kept threatening to “punish me” but I couldn’t help myself. I couldn’t take him seriously whatsoever. We ended up having pretty vanilla S&M and somewhat unremarkable sex. I ghosted him shortly after.”
 
“I once dated this guy who was into S&M and I was intrigued so I went along with it. He was not a very dominant looking person, as in he had a bit of a baby face despite being us both being in our mid-20s. The first time he tied me up I couldn’t stop giggling and he kept threatening to “punish me” but I couldn’t help myself. I couldn’t take him seriously whatsoever. We ended up having pretty vanilla S&M and somewhat unremarkable sex. I ghosted him shortly after.”
 
“My best friend was dating this absolute douche nozzle. Just a total idiot who should have been grateful she gave him the time of day, let alone agreed to be seen in public with him. Even though he had a tiny pecker, she was still dedicated to the relationship because, to her, he had other redeeming qualities. The whole time I could tell he thought he was too good for her.

He eventually dumps her in the worst it's-me-not-you sort of way. I immediately plot a five point plan to ruin his life, as any BFF would do, but hold back at her request. She just wanted to forget he ever existed and move on. Six months later he posted a really shitty thing on social media about how grateful he was for his new relationship is after his horrible ex girlfriend experience. Her teen child saw this and was devastated.

That was it. I had to get my petty revenge. This guy was a single nerd who lived in a one bedroom teeny-tiny condo that filled to the brim with every action figure, DVD, 3d printer & accountrements, every kitchen cupboard door open, expired food in the fridge, days old dishes, etc. The place was dork hoarders paradise.

I sent him a glitter bomb.

Retribution is a dish best served cold. Almost 5 years later, I sleep well knowing that he's still probably picking glitter out of his hair, and it's likely just become a permanent part of his carpet.”
 
“My best friend was dating this absolute douche nozzle. Just a total idiot who should have been grateful she gave him the time of day, let alone agreed to be seen in public with him. Even though he had a tiny pecker, she was still dedicated to the relationship because, to her, he had other redeeming qualities. The whole time I could tell he thought he was too good for her.

He eventually dumps her in the worst it's-me-not-you sort of way. I immediately plot a five point plan to ruin his life, as any BFF would do, but hold back at her request. She just wanted to forget he ever existed and move on. Six months later he posted a really shitty thing on social media about how grateful he was for his new relationship is after his horrible ex girlfriend experience. Her teen child saw this and was devastated.

That was it. I had to get my petty revenge. This guy was a single nerd who lived in a one bedroom teeny-tiny condo that filled to the brim with every action figure, DVD, 3d printer & accountrements, every kitchen cupboard door open, expired food in the fridge, days old dishes, etc. The place was dork hoarders paradise.

I sent him a glitter bomb.


Retribution is a dish best served cold. Almost 5 years later, I sleep well knowing that he's still probably picking glitter out of his hair, and it's likely just become a permanent part of his carpet.”
Was the glitter bomb part 1? What was the rest of this 5 point plan? The peanut gallery needs a part b😂
 
“My best friend was dating this absolute douche nozzle. Just a total idiot who should have been grateful she gave him the time of day, let alone agreed to be seen in public with him. Even though he had a tiny pecker, she was still dedicated to the relationship because, to her, he had other redeeming qualities. The whole time I could tell he thought he was too good for her.

He eventually dumps her in the worst it's-me-not-you sort of way. I immediately plot a five point plan to ruin his life, as any BFF would do, but hold back at her request. She just wanted to forget he ever existed and move on. Six months later he posted a really shitty thing on social media about how grateful he was for his new relationship is after his horrible ex girlfriend experience. Her teen child saw this and was devastated.

That was it. I had to get my petty revenge. This guy was a single nerd who lived in a one bedroom teeny-tiny condo that filled to the brim with every action figure, DVD, 3d printer & accountrements, every kitchen cupboard door open, expired food in the fridge, days old dishes, etc. The place was dork hoarders paradise.

I sent him a glitter bomb.


Retribution is a dish best served cold. Almost 5 years later, I sleep well knowing that he's still probably picking glitter out of his hair, and it's likely just become a permanent part of his carpet.”
https://giphy.com/gifs/ksbOfFcGk2A00
 
I've eaten meal worms. Properly handled they're basically just a hint of crunch, not even as much as popped popcorn. Admittedly when I was cleaning out the back of my 80+yr old mom's pantry and found some 'in the wild' as it were, they were rapidly consigned to the trash.
Cooked worms can be delicious. Live ones when you don't suspect it is still 🤮🤮🤮
 
Back
Top