Claymore and Dagger (closed)

[heartofcourage]

"He won't scare me away." Fiona promised Brogan as she stood to follow after Sam. "And he's not going to run from me either."

 

[KieranSoares]

"Considerin' he couldn't catch you, I'm sure ye'll be able t'keep up with him. Jus' be careful o' his temper, love..." Brogan nodded to her, draping an arm around Julia. "He's no pushover when 'e feels cornered."

 

[heartofcourage]

"Trust me, your highness." Fiona said with a smile towards Brogan. "A wayward prince doesn't scare me in the least."

 

[KieranSoares]

"I do trust you, sweetheart. I think if anyone can get to 'im since Ma, it'll be you." Brogan nodded.

 

[heartofcourage]

Fiona nodded, leaving the both of them as she went to find her wayward fiancee. When she found him in his rooms, she closed the door behind her and leaned back against it, staring at him in the dim light of the dying sun.

"You know we're not leaving this room until you work this out, right?" Fiona asked with a raised eyebrow.

 

[KieranSoares]

Sam, as per usual when he was stressed, had tried to bury himself in work. He was writing as Fiona entered and he stopped as she spoke, but he didn't look up. "Then we'll never leave," he muttered darkly.

 

[heartofcourage]

"Then I suppose we'll never leave. We'll starve to death in this room and the bards will sing sad stories about the stubborn Prince Samuel and his poor lover." Fiona said as he tried his best to intimidate her with a dark growl.

 

[KieranSoares]

"I don't want t'talk about it, Fiona." Sam still didn't face her, trying to drown himself in his work. "Jus' leave me be fer a while..."

 

[heartofcourage]

"You're going to talk about it, Sam." Fiona said as she walked towards his desk and took his work away from him, staring down at him with serious blue eyes. "Or we will not marry. I will not have you focused on all of this pain when we should be trying to build a happy life."

 

[KieranSoares]

"I'd be fine if everyone would jus' let it go an' let me figure it out on my own," he growled, rising from his chair to face her. While she had seen him angry before, this was clearly the most raw nerve of Samuel Ghis. "You all think talkin' will fix it. Tha' I can just convince myself I didn' kill a man hundreds o' people loved. Words are bloody useless!"

 

[heartofcourage]

"Then what? You want to be publicly punished?" Fiona asked as he rounded on her. "Flogged? Stabbed? Do you want to lose a limb as well? Would any of that make you feel better? Sam, there comes a time when guilt serves no purpose. You were a child who was protecting his home and his family. You had your time to mourn but now you use it as a shield. How can you expect to ever truly be happy if you can't let this go?"

 

[KieranSoares]

"I don' deserve it," Sam answered her coldly when she asked how he could ever be happy. "If I 'adn't killed Tidannon, Suara wouldn' 'ave lost most o' her family. Ciaran wouldn' 'ave 'ad t'know th'pain of losing th'man he loved. Ma an' Da might no' have been so stressed an' nearly died... If I'd stood against Rho... None o' tha' would've happened..." His fists were clenched tightly, his knuckles white as his voice lowered further and his gaze turned colder.

 

[heartofcourage]

"But it did. You didn't stand up to Rho and you killed Suara's mate." Fiona said as she placed her hands on her hips and stared at him for a long moment. "And that is something you can never take back."

 

[KieranSoares]

"An' yet you all expect me t'go on my merry way listenin' to the people that called me a hero, an' no' feelin' like a monster every time I see Ciaran go visit Lir 'r see Suara on 'er own?" Sam shook his head and slipped past her toward the door.

 

[heartofcourage]

"No." Fiona said, slipping past him and pressing herself against the door again. "I'm not letting you go. Sam, I want to know how to help you. I want to know how to make this guilt go away? Because if I'm honest about everything, I don't know if I can marry a man who isn't there completely."

 

[KieranSoares]

"Then don't. Because if I knew how t'fix it, we wouldn' be talkin' about it." Sam turned from her to stalk toward his window. He didn't mean those words, but it was all he could do to keep people away and protect his wounded soul. He opened up the window and slipped out, much as he'd done when cornered in his room before.

 

[heartofcourage]

Fiona felt her own anger rising at the fact that he had simply walked away. She wasn't about to let him do it that easily. She opened the door and hurried outside, watching as he stalked towards the stables. She ran after him, grabbing him by the sleeve and turning him to face her.

"You're not running away from this." She said in a low voice. "You're going to tell me what we are going to do. You can't change the past. You can be as angry as you want at me. However, you're going to stop and think and tell me what you need to do. Or tell me what your Gran would tell you."

 

[KieranSoares]

When Fiona grabbed him by the sleeve, Sam stopped her in her tracks as he caught both her arms. "I don't know, Fiona!" He snarled. "I don't bloody know! I don't know how Gran ever made me feel better, an' sometimes I don' even know how I'm still alive! I don' want to think about it anymore!"

 

[heartofcourage]

"Then let it go!" Fiona said as he grabbed her by the arms and shook her. "Samuel, no one blames you for anything. Suara certainly doesn't and she treats you like her own cub. Your Ma and Da have two beautiful little girls and a beautiful life. Ciaran just adopted a child with his lover. Your brother is about to welcome a child into the world with a woman that he adores. You are the only one that still holds on to that pain."

 

[KieranSoares]

"You let it go, an' jus' let me figure it out alone! If I knew how t'leave it behind, I goddamn would!" Sam let go of her and continued at a quicker pace toward the stables. He knew she might chase, but that didn't stop him from climbing the fence into the pasture to seek out Kennah.

 

[heartofcourage]

"When are you going to understand that it's not just about you any longer?" Fiona asked as he gave her a shove and stalked away. "It's about us. Our life."

 

[KieranSoares]

Sam paused at that, frozen in his tracks with his back to her on the other side of the fence. He was breathing heavily just from stress and anger, his temper flaring more than it had in years. But he didn't respond.

 

[heartofcourage]

"You told me that I was your mate. You asked me to marry you. The moment that both of those things happened, I took on all of your troubles and you took on mine." Fiona said, not daring to cross the fence as she saw the tense way that he held his shoulders, panting as something she said had struck a nerve.

 

[KieranSoares]

Sam still said nothing, even as Kennah came around the corner, having heard the shouting. But she too hesitated to get too close. She had seen this before. But finally, he murmured, "Kennah... C'mere, lass..." She slowly stepped closer and he pulled himself up on her back before guiding her to leap the fence. When it seemed he was about to flee from Fiona once more, he drew Kennah around and silently held a hand out to Fiona to climb up behind him. His expression was incredibly dark, but it was not for her.

 

[heartofcourage]

Fiona was stunned when he guided Kennah to come up along side her, his hand reaching down to pull her up onto the drake as well. She took it in an instant, settling in behind him. She wrapped her arms around his waist and gave him the lead in where they went.