Comments that leave you shaking your head

[pink_silk_glove]

I'm pretty sure Statius was referring to a comment left on SmilingLez's story, not on their own story, and was being supportive of another writer, not defensive of their own ego...

I understood that fully. Same deal though. I myself am commenting on someone else's reaction to someone else's story. Statius was putting himself in Smilling's shoes to make that reaction as if it were on his own. I'm not picking a fight. I'm pointing out the flaws in how we read criticism. There is a kneejerk in our brain whenever we hear something negative. It's easy to tell when someone is reacting to the kneejerk when you know what to look for. Any excuse to dimsmiss negative feedback so that our ego can remain unbruised. In this case, attack the messenger instead of the message. Super prevalent around here and if more people learned to see this, they would become better writers (and become more pleasant and helpful people in this forum).

 

[NuclearFairy]

actually, I received a doozy tonight on one of my first stories

To be entirely fair, they're not wrong that the physical logistics of the moment are probably off, I cringe a bit when I look at those early Penny stories...

But I'm not sure how much that has to do with the average height of the population of 48 different countries

It's easier to manage in missionary. Yeah, the guy might have to hunch over quite a bit with a bigger height difference, but that mostly means that his rhythm at worse will be thrown off, and at best will merely be slowed down.

 

[EmilyMiller]

It's easier to manage in missionary.

Missionary is great if you have a height difference.

 

[ADirtyPerv]

Missionary is great if you have a height difference.

Exactly. Men have sensitive nipples, too. Height difference makes that super easy.

 

[TheLobster]

But I'm not sure how much that has to do with the average height of the population of 48 different countries

And he lists them all, just to make sure his insightful point is well taken! What a diligent and valuable commenter.

 

[AlexFourways]

But I'm not sure how much that has to do with the average height of the population of 48 different countries

The other issue is that on a population basis, the average height is greatly affected by the level and quality of childhood (ok - 9 months to 18 years) nutrition (actually, there are more cell divisions in the first 9 months than in the remaining 90 years). Witness Japanese adults who are taller than doorways. That then affects the spread of genetically influenced height distributions in the population.

 

[old_prof]

No explanation just makes it weak criticism. Certainly, there's not much there to help you, but he is allowed to not like something and he doesn't need a reason to not like it. Furthermore, he may very well have a reason but just did not elaborate. That makes his criticism weak (in this case very) but it says nothing about him or his tastes or his knowledge. All it says about him is his manners which have nothing to do with his opinions themselves.

So what is the reaction?



The reaction is to attack the critic rather than the criticism. Why would you do that? The criticism is what's weak here. His criticism is ripe for countering while the critic himself is unknown. You attack the critic and leave the criticism untouched. That's rather foolish. Why would you do this? Only one reason. Butthurt over a negative and rude comment. The comment really says nothing about the story so why would it upset you? (don't say that it doesn't, obviously it does - you resorted to name calling over it). The reason that it upsets you is that your ego is hurt because somebody doesn't like your work (he said nothing about you, only the work) and you take it as a personal front.

It's all on you, not on him.

The comment is not feedback on the story and that's the real problem. It's a mysognistic attack on a lifestyle, completely divorced from the story, as Emily pointed out.

He's (and I'm making an assumption it's a he) an idiot because he's espousing a completely asymmetric view of the responsibility of the two (primary) genders. Women are germ spreading sluts. Men have no responsibility in his world view. He is an idiot.

The closest to actual criticism of the story came as a broad comment about literotica stories in general, that we promote and idealize thise hussies. And Emly pointed out that she actually addressed his major complaint in this particular story, so it was a general attack misdirected at this particular story.

As authors, we can become oversensitive and turn on the criticisms, which you generally do a good job of pointing out. In this case, the criticism really was mysoginistic ranting by an idiot, devoid of useful commentary. Don't become a caricature of yourself and just turn into rote naysaying.

 

[pink_silk_glove]

The comment is not feedback on the story and that's the real problem. It's a mysognistic attack on a lifestyle, completely divorced from the story, as Emily pointed out.

He's (and I'm making an assumption it's a he) an idiot because he's espousing a completely asymmetric view of the responsibility of the two (primary) genders. Women are germ spreading sluts. Men have no responsibility in his world view. He is an idiot.

The closest to actual criticism of the story came as a broad comment about literotica stories in general, that we promote and idealize thise hussies. And Emly pointed out that she actually addressed his major complaint in this particular story, so it was a general attack misdirected at this particular story.

As authors, we can become oversensitive and turn on the criticisms, which you generally do a good job of pointing out. In this case, the criticism really was mysoginistic ranting by an idiot, devoid of useful commentary. Don't become a caricature of yourself and just turn into rote naysaying.

No, this was the extent of the comment.

" With all due respect...
I DON'T LIKE THIS AT ALL!! "

That's what he responded to. That's what prompted the idiot call. He called him an idiot for simply not liking it. If that's not butthurt, nothing is.

 

[old_prof]

That's what he responded to. That's what prompted the idiot call. He called him an idiot for simply not liking it. If that's not butthurt, nothing is.

My bad. I apparently got the two comments being discussed crossed.

 

[Comshaw]

Wow! I wonder what they would have said without due respect!

While there are very many lovely older men here, I find most BS comments are also from older men and have what they seem to view as a moralistic undertone. The desire to regulate women seems strong in this cohort. Youth are always accused of ignorance, and of course the old always think they know best.

"Youth are always accused of ignorance..." True, most of the time they are. At this point it's important for me to differentiate between ignorance and stupidity. Ignorance (which many young people suffer from, which I was one of those way back) is no more than the lack of information. Stupidity, on the other hand (which shows up in a percentage every generation at every age) means slow of mind or lacking of intelligence and reason. That said most young people are not stupid, but they are ignorant of much. I wouldn't take the term ignorant as a slam. To me it's more of a challenge. Do I stay with what I believe is true or try to educate myself with what is actually true?

And yes old people do think they know best. Sometimes they do, sometimes not. However, on the whole, they are much better equipped with knowledge and experience to understand things for the simple reason that have already walked that path. Some use that as a club to keep the young in line. Some use it as a tool to try and point them in the direction to ease their travels through this life. From experience, I can say that many young people aren't going to listen to those old, worn-out, pontificating geezers. I think Will Rogers said it best. While he was speaking of men, I think it applies to everyone, so I'll paraphrase to make it fit:

“There are three kinds of people. The ones that learn by readin’. The few who learn by observation.
The rest of them have to grab hold of the electric fence for themselves.”​

Will Rogers​

​

Comshaw

 

[lovecraft68]

Sex positivity is generational? Not hardly. You aren't the first American generation that was open to its sexuality. If you'd like to educate yourself and read up on the late 60's you'll find that the young generation then (who are the "boomers" now) were very sex positive, IE; The summer of Love. It's true that some of them over time have turned into wrinkled-up prudes, but many haven't and still retain that open mindset.

Additionally, you might want to readup on the 1920's.

It's entertaining to me when I encounter this, "My generation has done **** and none of the preceding ones have!"

From experience I know that youth has energy, stamina and believe they know more than every other generation or think they have discovered things that are cyclical in nature, claimed by each generation back to the stoneage. The thing the young lack is hindsight and "been there, done that" experience.

Comshaw

I agree with your post, other than having porn at your fingertips and whatever other manner of sexual content which is something fairly new in the context of time, this generation has nothing on prior ones when it comes to sex. In fact you could say this generation is the lamest because they have everything in front of them, prior times were when they invented this stuff and experimented because they didn't have "look here it is" in front of them.

Look at some of the things the Romans did, they were a depraved lot.

 

[Comshaw]

I'm pretty sure Statius was referring to a comment left on SmilingLez's story, not on their own story, and was being supportive of another writer, not defensive of their own ego...

It seems like you're trying to pick a fight with people in here for no obvious reason

OH MY GOD! SAY IT AIN'T SO JOE!

Comshaw

 

[ShelbyDawn57]

"Youth are always accused of ignorance..." True, most of the time they are. At this point it's important for me to differentiate between ignorance and stupidity. Ignorance (which many young people suffer from, which I was one of those way back) is no more than the lack of information. Stupidity, on the other hand (which shows up in a percentage every generation at every age) means slow of mind or lacking of intelligence and reason. That said most young people are not stupid, but they are ignorant of much. I wouldn't take the term ignorant as a slam. To me it's more of a challenge. Do I stay with what I believe is true or try to educate myself with what is actually true?

And yes old people do think they know best. Sometimes they do, sometimes not. However, on the whole, they are much better equipped with knowledge and experience to understand things for the simple reason that have already walked that path. Some use that as a club to keep the young in line. Some use it as a tool to try and point them in the direction to ease their travels through this life. From experience, I can say that many young people aren't going to listen to those old, worn-out, pontificating geezers. I think Will Rogers said it best. While he was speaking of men, I think it applies to everyone, so I'll paraphrase to make it fit:

“There are three kinds of people. The ones that learn by readin’. The few who learn by observation.​

The rest of them have to grab hold of the electric fence for themselves.”​

Will Rogers​

​

Comshaw

Possibly my all time favorite definition is an alternate definition for ass: “an aggressively ignorant person.”
Such a great definition in today’s world, dint you think?

 

[ADirtyPerv]

I agree with your post, other than having porn at your fingertips and whatever other manner of sexual content which is something fairly new in the context of time, this generation has nothing on prior ones when it comes to sex. In fact you could say this generation is the lamest because they have everything in front of them, prior times were when they invented this stuff and experimented because they didn't have "look here it is" in front of them.

Look at some of the things the Romans did, they were a depraved lot.

We're also the most isolated generations, which isn't helping (I'm a millennial). I don't think this is a "kids these days" thing, it's a "social media and television and the Internet have driven anyone my age and younger into our own little bubbles" kinda thing. I don't put that on the kids themselves, or even on their parents. No one knew what kind of damage this tech would cause. And who do you blame? The parents for using the tech they have access to, to help keep kids entertained? The kids for doing the same? The corporations for intentionally making the tech addictive so they can make more money? It's what corporations are designed to do. And in the meantime, there's nowhere to go to spend time together anymore. Malls are gone, community centers are wrecked. So we spend all our time online, finding new, weird things to fascinate us, which are totally different from what the kid next door is into. No common ground at all.

In an isolated generation chock full of crushing anxiety, where everyone's addicted since birth to staring at a screen, it's hard to imagine inventing a new sex thing.

 

[PennyThompson]

We're also the most isolated generations, which isn't helping (I'm a millennial). I don't think this is a "kids these days" thing, it's a "social media and television and the Internet have driven anyone my age and younger into our own little bubbles" kinda thing. I don't put that on the kids themselves, or even on their parents. No one knew what kind of damage this tech would cause. And who do you blame? The parents for using the tech they have access to, to help keep kids entertained? The kids for doing the same? The corporations for intentionally making the tech addictive so they can make more money? It's what corporations are designed to do. And in the meantime, there's nowhere to go to spend time together anymore. Malls are gone, community centers are wrecked. So we spend all our time online, finding new, weird things to fascinate us, which are totally different from what the kid next door is into. No common ground at all.

In an isolated generation chock full of crushing anxiety, where everyone's addicted since birth to staring at a screen, it's hard to imagine inventing a new sex thing.

Like blaming kids for "Participation Trophies," when it was the boomer parents and teachers who were handing them out

For what it's worth, I think a lot of young millennials and Gen Z are stepping away from all that toxic tech and are trying to embrace the real world again.

Boardgame cafes and bookstores are thriving, at least where I live, and a lot of my friends have given up on the dating apps. It's hard rebuilding culture after billionaires took it away from us, but that's the work to be done!

 

[crookedletter]

For what it's worth, I think a lot of young millennials and Gen Z are stepping away from all that toxic tech and are trying to embrace the real world again.

Boardgame cafes and bookstores are thriving, at least where I live, and a lot of my friends have given up on the dating apps. It's hard rebuilding culture after billionaires took it away from us, but that's the work to be done!

I've noticed too a new proliferation of old fashioned janky digital cameras among young people. I don't 100% know what's driving the trend, but I see it as a positive: the ability to take pictures, record memories, without the instant share, without the constant of the phone in hand.

One could argue we could do without the constant posing for and taking pictures too. But. Baby steps.

 

[ADirtyPerv]

I've noticed too a new proliferation of old fashioned janky digital cameras among young people. I don't 100% know what's driving the trend, but I see it as a positive: the ability to take pictures, record memories, without the instant share, without the constant of the phone in hand.

One could argue we could do without the constant posing for and taking pictures too. But. Baby steps.

My kids have thermal-print Polaroid cameras. $15 from Walmart, $3 for a dozen 200-count rolls of thermal paper. The shots come out in black and white, almost like sketches, but they don't care. They get to participate in the picture-taking without any of the toxic dopamine hit of the instant-share. It's awesome. They'll never be on social media if I can help it.

 

[Statius]

Have you ever been out in public and come across a situation that did not involve you, where a person was being treated poorly or rudely, without cause? Say a server or check out person or retail worker. Have you ever commented to that person about the one mistreating or being rude? I view my comment like that. Is the person who made the comment an idiot? No idea, perhaps you would have been less 'butt hurt' had I phrased it this way: 'That comment was idiotic'. I don't know, nor do I care, as I'm sure the OP could care less about my comment or intended moral support. That's fine and fair. Either way the comment itself concerns me not at all.

However, the point in a thread like this, I think, is for writers to bond, come together, not divide or be divisive. So to call out other writers for their thoughts on comments to their works (I was not the only one called out, and risking further controversy, I fully support and agree with the other writer called out). Nor am I the only one here who has commented on another writers' post about comments that did not concern them. Again it's about supporting another writer.

Now this whole thing, like many arguments over innocuous comments from insignificant members (myself) here in the threads and on Lit in general, has been blown up to something completely rediculous and pointless, and is a stark reminder of why I (attempt to) contribute so little here over the last few months.

Kudos to those members who continually see it, call it out, and support fellow writers.

I will not spend one more ounce of energy and time on this, so response or not, there will be no further comment.

 

[Comshaw]

Possibly my all time favorite definition is an alternate definition for ass: “an aggressively ignorant person.”
Such a great definition in today’s world, dint you think?

Great as in fabulous!

Comshaw

 

[pink_silk_glove]

Have you ever been out in public and come across a situation that did not involve you, where a person was being treated poorly or rudely, without cause? Say a server or check out person or retail worker. Have you ever commented to that person about the one mistreating or being rude? I view my comment like that. Is the person who made the comment an idiot? No idea, perhaps you would have been less 'butt hurt' had I phrased it this way: 'That comment was idiotic'. I don't know, nor do I care, as I'm sure the OP could care less about my comment or intended moral support. That's fine and fair. Either way the comment itself concerns me not at all.

However, the point in a thread like this, I think, is for writers to bond, come together, not divide or be divisive. So to call out other writers for their thoughts on comments to their works (I was not the only one called out, and risking further controversy, I fully support and agree with the other writer called out). Nor am I the only one here who has commented on another writers' post about comments that did not concern them. Again it's about supporting another writer.

Now this whole thing, like many arguments over innocuous comments from insignificant members (myself) here in the threads and on Lit in general, has been blown up to something completely rediculous and pointless, and is a stark reminder of why I (attempt to) contribute so little here over the last few months.

Kudos to those members who continually see it, call it out, and support fellow writers.

I will not spend one more ounce of energy and time on this, so response or not, there will be no further comment.

Well then, such an eloquent last word.

yours supportively,
psg

 

[NaughteeDragon]

I thought comments like that only showed up in LW stories. Apparently they show up in group sex bisexual MMF stories as well.
Dude, the warning told you that was going to happen. They talked about before it happened. They joked about positive consent as James played with Bill’s cock, what the fuck did you think was going to happen?

Oh, and the rating on the story has jumped 10% in the last 4 hours…

 

[PennyThompson]

View attachment 2591293

I thought comments like that only showed up in LW stories. Apparently they show up in group sex bisexual MMF stories as well.
Dude, the warning told you that was going to happen. They talked about before it happened. They joked about positive consent as James played with Bill’s cock, what the fuck did you think was going to happen?

Oh, and the rating on the story has jumped 10% in the last 4 hours…

Once again begging for a bisexual/pansexual story category here

 

[ElectricBlue]

But I'm not sure how much that has to do with the average height of the population of 48 different countries

To be fair, you've got to get about a bit to make sure your sample size is big enough to get your "averages" right. Otherwise it's just tall guy, short ass, and where does that get you? Sore neck, sore back, you get to pick .

 

[redgarters]

A story is posted in the 'Lesbian Sex' category. It's tagged 'lesbian' and 'wlw'.

Tell me you're an idiot without telling me.

 

[TheLobster]

A story is posted in the 'Lesbian Sex' category. It's tagged 'lesbian' and 'wlw'.
View attachment 2591584
Tell me you're an idiot without telling me.

It would explain so much if it turned out that most of our readers can't actually read.