Cookie's Haunted House

Top Ten Least Popular Halloween Candies


10. Bit-O-Squirrel

9. Poisonettes

8. Good n' Sweaty

7. Middlefinger

6. Della Reese's Pieces

5. Clam Duds

4. Baby Ruth Bader Ginsburg

3. Gummy Marrow

2. Ken Starrburst

1. Osmond Joy
 
cookiejar said:
Top Ten Rejected Ways to Die in the New Halloween Movie


10. Old age.

9. Really, really, really big paper cut.

8. Pop rocks and soda.

7. Head explodes while trying to figure out why a movie called "Halloween" is coming out the first week of August -- am I right, people?

6. Beaten to death with chair by a hillbilly on "Jerry Springer."

5. Assassinated by John Wilkes Booth.

4. Crunched between fantastically strong thighs of Ms. Suzanne Somers.

3. Running with scissors.

2. Heart attack after being surprised by wife Hillary in oval office.

1. Laughing to death at joke on The Late Show.

ROFL
 
Top Ten Signs Your Kid Is A Wizard


10. When he enters a room there is a burst of purple smoke

9. You say, "Do you think that lawn is gonna mow itself?" But then it does

8. Your child gets busted shoplifting a newt

7. Can turn lead into gold, but he can't remember to take out the trash --

6. He wears shiny red satin robes -- and you're just praying he's a wizard

5. Favorite discount electronics chain: The Wiz

4. Refers to Halloween as "amateur night"

3. He's only 12, but somehow he's dating Gwyneth Paltrow

2. His homework ate the dog

1. You catch him in the bathroom polishing his wand
 
cookiejar said:
Top Ten Signs Your Kid Is A Wizard


10. When he enters a room there is a burst of purple smoke

9. You say, "Do you think that lawn is gonna mow itself?" But then it does

8. Your child gets busted shoplifting a newt

7. Can turn lead into gold, but he can't remember to take out the trash --

6. He wears shiny red satin robes -- and you're just praying he's a wizard

5. Favorite discount electronics chain: The Wiz

4. Refers to Halloween as "amateur night"

3. He's only 12, but somehow he's dating Gwyneth Paltrow

2. His homework ate the dog

1. You catch him in the bathroom polishing his wand

http://www.click-smilies.de/sammlung0903/lachen/laughing-smiley-017.gif
 
cookiejar said:
Top Ten Signs Your Kid Is A Wizard


10. When he enters a room there is a burst of purple smoke

9. You say, "Do you think that lawn is gonna mow itself?" But then it does

8. Your child gets busted shoplifting a newt

7. Can turn lead into gold, but he can't remember to take out the trash --

6. He wears shiny red satin robes -- and you're just praying he's a wizard

5. Favorite discount electronics chain: The Wiz

4. Refers to Halloween as "amateur night"

3. He's only 12, but somehow he's dating Gwyneth Paltrow

2. His homework ate the dog

1. You catch him in the bathroom polishing his wand


HAHA! :D
 
Things that go bump in the night. . .

. . . this thread when Bumpin' Barn is on the loose. :eek:
 
Halloween Night

It's so quiet outside, and the moon is so full
It's after midnight, and you decide to go for a stroll.
There's a chill in the air, the wind blows cold
Dead things are restless, and spirts grow bold.

You quake, you quiver, you are stunned with fear
As off in the distance a skeleton does appear.

He rises from the grave, moldy and smelling
You hear your own voice, and realize you are yelling.

You gather your wits, and run to the right
But with an eerie moan, a ghost comes into sight.

You turn again, trying to escape
This time its a ghoul, in a long batwing cape.

A witch on her broom, flys by overhead
You fall to your knees, your heart filled with dread.

Your scream echos deadly, you are consumed with fright
You should not have come out, poor soul.. It's Halloween NIGHT!

-M.A.R '97
 
http://theholidayspot.com/halloween/graphics/recipe.gif

the ladies cooking up some halloween treats


WITCHES FINGERS
Ingredients :
1 cup butter, softened
1 cup icing sugar
1 egg
1 tsp almond extract
1 tsp vanilla
2 3/4 cups all purpose flour
1 tsp baking powder
1 tsp salt
3/4 cup whole blanched almonds
1 tube red decorator gel
Preparation :
In bowl beat together butter, sugar, egg, almond extract and vanilla; beat in flour; baking powder and salt. Cover and refrigerate for 30 minutes. Working with one-quarter of the dough at a time and keeping remaining dough refrigerated, roll heaping teaspoons full of dough into finger shape for each cookie. Press almond firmly into one end for nail. Squeeze in center to create knuckle shape. Using a paring knife make slashes in several places to form knuckle. Place on lightly greased cookie sheet in 325 degree over for 20-25 minutes or until pale or golden. Let cool for three minutes. Lift up almond; squeeze red decorator gel onto nail bed and press almond back in place so gel oozes out from underneath. Remove from cookie sheet and let cool. Repeat with remaining dough. Makes about 5 doz fingers!


NIGHT CRAWLERS
Ingredients :
12 large apples
1 8-ounce jar boysenberry jam
4 tablespoons butter
12 gummy worms
Preparation :
Preheat oven to 350 degrees.
Core apples from the stem end to 1/2 inch from the bottom. Do not push through. Stuff each hole with 1 teaspoon each jam and butter. Place in a pan and bake uncovered for 35 to 45 minutes, depending on the size of the apples. When done, the apple should be tender but not mushy. Remove the apples from the oven. Let cool 15 minutes. Now set each apple in a bowl and spoon syrup from the baking pan around it. In top of each apple, insert a gummy worm with at least half of its body protruding. Makes 12

GNARLED WITCHES FINGERS
Ingredients :
1 tb oil
4 Boneless chicken breasts
1 c Flour
1 Egg beaten
1 c Bread crumbs
Pitted black olives halved lengthwise
Shredded lettuce
Preparation :
Grease cookie sheet with oil, set aside. Carefully cut chicken breasts part way to create five fingers (the uncut part will be the palm of the hand). Dust in flour, dip in beaten egg and then bread crumbs. Broil 5 minutes on each side till golden brown and cooked through. Trim the finger tips with the halved black olives and serve on lettuce.


CHOCOLATE SPIDERS
Ingredients :
4 cups semisweet chocolate baking chips
Preparation :
4 cups semisweet chocolate baking chips Melt chocolate chips in top of double boiler. Let stand over the water until water is cool, about 10 minutes. Place wax paper on cookie sheet. Pour chocolate into a pastry bag that is fitted with a 1/8-inch or 1/4-inch tip. Squeeze chocolate onto wax paper in the shape of spiders. If chocolate is runny it needs to be cooled longer. Chill the spiders for about 10 minutes. When hard peel off wax paper. Store in refrigerator laid flat.
 
a few more recipes from our friendly witches

VAMPIRE PUNCH
Ingredients :
8 cups cranberry juice
6 cups sparkling apple cider
6 orange slices
Preparation :
Put all ingredients in a punch bowl. Add ice cubes just before serving.
Makes 14 cups


BLOODY DEVIL DOGS
Ingredients :
Hot Dogs
Hot Dog Rolls
Ketchup
Preparation :
Cook hot dogs as you would normally, on the stove or grill. Take the buns and, with CLEAN scissors or a knife, cut out little triangle on the top part facing out. When done, the bun will look like a mouth with the upper teeth showing. Place hot dogs inside the bun, then put on ketchup.


QUESADILLAS
Ingredients :
5 jalapeno peppers, chopped
1 pound jack cheese, grated
1 cup chopped parsley
16 tortillas
Preparation :
Combine the peppers, cheese, and parsley. Place a portion of the mixture in the middle of a flat tortilla. Fold over and press the edges together. Spray a large skillet with vegetable spray and fry the tortillas over medium heat, or toast in a toaster oven. The quesadilla is ready when the cheese has melted. Keep warm until ready to serve or reheat in toaster oven for 5 minutes. Do not reheat in the microwave. You may want to make some without the peppers for those who don't like them hot. Makes 16

MYSTICAL PUNCH
Ingredients :
Ice cube tray
raisins
4 1-pint bottles cranberry juice
2 1/2 cups peach juice
1 cup fresh lime juice
2 cups orange juice
sugar to taste
Preparation :
Place raisins in ice cube trays. Add water. Freeze. This will make them look like they have insects in them. Keep the juices refrigerated until you are ready to use them. In a punch bowl, combine all the juices. Add the ice cubes and serve. Makes 20 cups

BOBBING APPLE PUNCH
Ingredients :
1 ½ cups orange juice
4 cups apple cider
1 cup pineapple juice
2 tablespoons sugar
4 cups ginger ale, chilled
6 to 8 small red apples
1 orange, sliced
Preparation :
In punch bowl mix orange juice, apple cider, pineapple juice and sugar. Chill of a couple hours. Before serving add ginger ale, apples, orange slices and ice cubes.


CARAMEL MARSHMALLOW APPLES
Ingredients :
1 package (14 oz) caramels
1 cup miniature marshmallows
1 tbsp water
5 or 6 small apples
Wooden skewers
Preparation :
Line baking sheet with buttered waxed paper; set aside. Combine caramels, marshmallows and water in medium saucepan. Cook over medium heat, stirring constantly, until caramels melt. Cool slightly while preparing apples. Rinse and dry apples. Insert skewers into apples. Dip each apple in caramel mixture, coating apples. Place on prepared sheet. Refrigerate until firm. For variety roll apples in crushed peanuts or drizzle with melted chocolate.
 
The shrikes in the hallway
By: Vegeta and Radits, also known as Laura and Ashley

This story takes place in Nova Scotia, Canada.
One day a girl named Amy and the rest of her family were moving to a new house that the other owners were selling for a very cheap price. Amy, of course, didn't want to move but her parents wanted a bigger house. After the moving truck was loaded and their family was in the car they left. In about 5 hours they got there.
It was very late, so they all went to sleep after they got their sleeping bags out. At about 12:00 pm that night Amy woke up to the sound of scrams. "It's coming from the hallway" Amy whispered to herself. As she was walking to the hallway she heard another scream full of pain and agony. She took a step back.
Then started walking to the hallway again. By the time she got there the screams stopped and all that was left was a puddle of blood. The next night it happened again, but still all that remained was a puddle of blood. This happened several times again. Night after night, every time at the same time as before. After this happened for the 19th time, the parents thought that they would look into it. The went to the police and asked if anything had occurred there before they moved in. The police said that their was a family that lived there and that the father and son did not get along. So one night the father killed his son, slowly and painfully. The way he did it was he took different tools and hacked out his sons organs out, one by one. He managed to keep his son alive for five hours. Then the ghost started to haunt his father. Soon his father died of a heart attack and his son finally got his revenge. "But why is the ghost still there?" Amy asked. "The reason the ghost is there, is to remind people of his death." the police officer said. After what they heard Amy and her family left, but before they did they had a funeral for the ghost. The funeral put the ghost to his eternal sleep and the ghost never haunted again. Stories
 
1492"
By: Cynthia DeLaLoza-Rosas

My name is Cynthia DeLaLoza-Rosas, and I didn't really believe in ghosts until my nephew Christopher was in a motorcycle accident and was killed. Christopher was special to our family, he was the only one with bright red hair. He was humble and quiet. Christopher was a sophomore at UCLA and only 20 years old when he died. I wasn't close to Christopher, but I helped him once in a while, like when he was stranded and his VW convertible broke down. Or when he was working a summer job with me and he wanted lunch, but his mother refused to buy it for him, I had him follow me to Burger King and bought him lunch, he was so very happy that day. This is a sad, but strange Ghost Story:
Thursday evening April 12, 1990, I was retiring to bed and knew that I didn't have to go to work on Friday, the 13th, I was taking the day off my daughters were going to be in a little parade at school and I wanted to attend. In the back of my mind I was remembering that my father passed away on April 13, 1984, and reflecting on those moments of sadness also on the fact that it was a bad luck day for many people. I was superstitious and I always tried to be careful. But I tucked it back in my mind and wanted the day to go smoothly.
In the early morning hours of Friday, April 13, 1990, the phone rang! I woke up from a sound sleep and answered the phone on the 3rd ring. No one was there! I kept saying "hello," "hello," and still no one. I was feeling strange and I immediately looked at my clock radio with it's big red digital numbers blaring at me, 4:13 a.m.!! I couldn't believe it. I immediately thought this is my father calling me from the grave! I woke up my husband and told him about it and showed him the clock, but by then it was about 4:18 a.m. He was superstitious too and he believed it was my dad also.
I couldn't wait to call my sisters and brothers to tell them that I think I was contacted by my dad's spirit. It was disappointing and sad that I didn't get to hear my dad's voice, I had mixed emotions, first I was downright scared, then I felt privileged that he would try to contact me. Anyway it didn't happen. So after about an hour of restlessness and waiting for another call, I decided to go back to sleep.
We all woke up about 7:00 a.m. and I got the girls to school, and proceeded to do some chores until the school parade which wasn't scheduled until around 1:00 p.m. Then the dreadful call came in, it was my brother Mario calling to tell me that Christopher had been in a terrible accident. I was asking all sorts of questions, like when, where, what time? He had told me he didn't know the details, but I needed to get to UCLA medical center. He didn't tell me the severity of Chris's condition. We picked up the children and had someone look after them as we felt it wouldn't be appropriate to take them.
On our way to the hospital I was discussing the phone call with my husband and told him, "Oh no the call I got last night must have been from Christopher!" He said it would be impossible since my brother talked to him on the phone and said Chris was admitted around 7:30 a.m. Friday morning. We arrived at the hospital, my sisters and brothers were there, and my sister Natalie, Chris's mother told me what happened. It seems Chris was at a frat party and for some odd reason, as his friends told it, he decided to take a ride on his friend's motorcycle, and left the party at around 3:30 a.m. When Chris didn't arrive by early morning at around 6:30 his friends decided to call around and look for him. As Chris's friends were looking, a patrol car spotted Chris lying on shoulder off Mulholland drive with a deep head wound. It seems he had hit a bump, flew off the bike and hit his head on a chain link fence post.
We were told that evening, while we were still at the hospital, the bad news, Chris was pronounced brain dead. They kept his vital organs alive for donor purposes until April 17th. My sister and her husband were beyond themselves. We were all so sad and devastated, but I still had the phone call in the back of my mind, I didn't have the heart to tell my sister.
On our way back from the hospital, my husband at that time, who is Chinese was telling me about his superstitions, stemming from his culture. "First of all, he said, your sister built a red brick walkway to her house, which is bad luck, there's a red walkway to the house of death in China," " Second, she bought a black Cadillac, limousine car which resembles as funeral car." "Before all of this, several of her neighbors had contracted diseases and a few died, also her best friend's son died at the age of 23 from a rare blood disease, and she lives directly across from your sister!" The next day, he took a look at the area and did some researching and found that there had been a sacred burial ground where my sister's home was built, in fact that very tract of homes was sacred many years before. He felt that a curse had been placed on that area!
The last time I saw Christopher alive was a week before, on Sunday, he was helping his brother unload some things from his pickup truck, and it was a sunny day, but I remember there was a distinct shadow over Christopher, so much that I couldn't really see his face clearly. After Chris's accident, I thought to myself could it be the shadow of death I had heard about before? About a year after Christopher's death, my sister was able to talk of Christopher and told me the special things about him, she said, " You know Cindy, Chris had red hair, and did you know Christopher Columbus had red hair?" I didn't know that, and when she said this I almost fainted, "I went to visit Chris's grave and noticed the number of his grave is 1492!" That was supposedly the year Christopher Columbus discovered America! Then I finally told her about that phone call! She started crying and she believed he called because, he had been lying there for a few hours, the doctors and coroner confirmed he had hit the pole at approximately 4:00 a.m. and that phone call must have come from poor Christopher.
I know Chris is here with us, for example, his watch was still running up until 2 years ago, that's 8 years! My sister gave my daughter Stephanie Chris's Ray Ban sunglasses and she wore them once, then came home and was really quiet, like Chris was, my daughter normally talks a mile a minute. I believe his spirit is lingering in our lives. I think there was a premonition about Chris's death, when he was a little boy, I was sitting for my sister, and Chris was playing with a toy motorcycle and pushed it across the room, then suddenly fell and hit his forehead really hard! There was a bump on it. It happened on September 25 when he was 8 years old. We didn't think anything of it until my sister researched Christopher Columbus and found that his Second voyage from Cadiz was on September 25, 1493. If you add 1493 together you get 8! It gives me chills each time I think about it. My sister believes that for whatever reason, Chris is Christopher Columbus reincarnated, but was only here for 20 years, why?
 
http://www.theholidayspot.com/halloween/graphics/jokes.gif

just a few jokes

Why did the vampire go to the orthodontist?
To improve his bite...

What do you get when you cross a vampire and a snowman?
Frostbite...

Why do witches use brooms to fly on?
Because vacuum cleaners are too heavy...

How do witches keep their hair in place while flying?
With scare spray...

What do you get when you cross a werewolf and a vampire?
A fur coat that fangs around your neck...

Do zombies eat popcorn with their fingers?
No, they eat the fingers separately...

Why don't skeletons ever go out on the town?
Because they don't have any body to go out with...

What do ghosts add to their morning cereal?
Booberries...

What is a vampire's favorite sport?
Casketball...

What is a vampire's favorite holiday?
Fangsgiving...

What would a monster's psychiatrist be called?
Shrinkenstein...

What did one ghost say to the other ghost?
"Do you believe in people?"

What do you call someone who puts poison in a person's corn flakes?
A cereal killer...

Why do mummies have trouble keeping friends?
They're so wrapped up in themselves...

What kind of streets do zombies like the best?
Dead ends...

What does the papa ghost say to his family when driving?
Fasten your sheet belts...

What is a vampire's favorite mode of transportation?
A blood vessel...

What is a ghost's favorite mode of transportation?
A scareplane...

What type of dog do vampire's like the best?
Bloodhounds...

What is a ghoul's favorite flavor?
Lemon-slime...

What does a vampire never order at a restaurant?
A stake sandwich...

What is a skeleton's favorite musical instrument?
A trombone...

What do birds give out on Halloween night?
Tweets...

Why do vampires need mouthwash?
They have bat breath...

What's a vampire's favorite fast food?
A guy with very high blood pressure...

Why did the Vampire subscribe to the Wall Street Journal?
He heard it had great circulation...

of course all goofy and crazy hehehheeheh enjoy
 
Re: Things that go bump in the night. . .

EarthquakeMan said:
. . . this thread when Bumpin' Barn is on the loose. :eek:

I'm the MAD BUMPER! lol. :D
 
Back
Top