Corrupt The Wish

[Indienne]

GRANTED, but when you do they immediately turn dark, frightening and surreal.

I wish I was a morning person.

Granted, but now you only work night shifts.

I wish getting up early were easier.

 

[PlayfulLittle1]

Granted, but now you only work night shifts.

I wish getting up early were easier.

GRANTED you got it up, but now can't get it to go down. It's been four hours and you now have to bring him and his "up" to the doctor, and it's only 7am.

I wish I was talented.

 

[Indienne]

GRANTED you got it up, but now can't get it to go down. It's been four hours and you now have to bring him and his "up" to the doctor, and it's only 7am.

I wish I was talented.

Granted, but the only talent you have is singing like a banshee.

I wish I could resist temptation.

 

[PlayfulLittle1]

Granted, but the only talent you have is singing like a banshee.

I wish I could resist temptation.

Granted, but nothing tempts you anymore. Life is dry white bread.

I wish I had a personal assistant.

 

[Indienne]

Granted, but nothing tempts you anymore. Life is dry white bread.

I wish I had a personal assistant.

Granted. You now have Naomi Campbell as your personal assistant. Good luck with that!

I wish I could travel the world.

 

[PlayfulLittle1]

Granted. You now have Naomi Campbell as your personal assistant. Good luck with that!

I wish I could travel the world.

You can, but only on foot.

I wish I could teleport.

 

[Indienne]

You can, but only on foot.

I wish I could teleport.

Granted, but every time you teleport, your life gets shorter by 5 years.

I wish I were telepathic.

 

[luvthedesserts]

Granted, but every time you teleport, your life gets shorter by 5 years.

I wish I were telepathic.

Granted, but the only mind you can read is mine.


I wish I didn't have such a warped mind.

 

[Indienne]

Granted, but the only mind you can read is mine.


I wish I didn't have such a warped mind.

Granted, but now you're so simple-minded that you make Forrest Gump look like a genius.

I wish I could have a lemon meringue pie right now.

 

[lovetopleasewomen]

granted but you have to come to florida to get it.



I wish we had real mountains down here.

 

[Indienne]

granted but you have to come to florida to get it.



I wish we had real mountains down here.

Granted, but now it's all barren, inhospitable mountains which can't be inhabited.

I wish Monday wouldn't come.

 

[subdued_passion]

Granted, but now it's all barren, inhospitable mountains which can't be inhabited.

I wish Monday wouldn't come.

Granted, but it is already Monday and you are stuck in a time warp where it is always only Monday.



I wish I was always right.

 

[wallyfox]

Granted, but it is already Monday and you are stuck in a time warp where it is always only Monday.



I wish I was always right.

Granted, now everyone hates you because you can't help yourself from correcting us.

I wish I had an island.

 

[MrsCCfromRC]

Granted, now everyone hates you because you can't help yourself from correcting us.

I wish I had an island.

Granted... in the Arctic....

I wish I had a new car

 

[subdued_passion]

Granted... in the Arctic....

I wish I had a new car

Granted. It's 6" in size and batteries were not included.




I wish I could play a musical instrument.

 

[Good2BeBad67]

Granted. It's 6" in size and batteries were not included.




I wish I could play a musical instrument.

Good news, you can play an instrument. Bad news its the ukele!

I wish I had x-ray vision

 

[subdued_passion]

Good news, you can play an instrument. Bad news its the ukele!

I wish I had x-ray vision

Granted. Now you have cancer from radiation exposure.





I wish I was Suri Cruise.

 

[MrsCCfromRC]

Good news, you can play an instrument. Bad news its the ukele!

I wish I had x-ray vision

Congratulations... but you now work in an isolated men's prison - 6 mos shifts

I wish my car had batteries

 

[lovetopleasewomen]

Congratulations... but you now work in an isolated men's prison - 6 mos shifts

I wish my car had batteries

granted but now...well..your other battery powered things won't work.



I wish it wasn't so dang hot today.

 

[subdued_passion]

granted but now...well..your other battery powered things won't work.



I wish it wasn't so dang hot today.

Granted. Blizzard headed your way and you won't make it to any shelter in time.


I wish I had three wishes.

 

[MTPersson]

Granted. Blizzard headed your way and you won't make it to any shelter in time.


I wish I had three wishes.

Granted but the genie misheard you and you have 3 witches instead.

I wish for the ability to win a heptathlon

 

[subdued_passion]

Granted but the genie misheard you and you have 3 witches instead.

I wish for the ability to win a heptathlon

Sure, the same hearing impaired genie granted you Hepatitis.


I wish I could set people ablaze just by looking at them.

 

[Twlightdreamer]

Sure, the same hearing impaired genie granted you Hepatitis.


I wish I could set people ablaze just by looking at them.

Granted, but you can't control it and set yourself on fire ahen you look at your hands.

I wish I was off from work today.

 

[MedicalMuse]

Granted, but you can't control it and set yourself on fire ahen you look at your hands.

I wish I was off from work today.

Granted. But the building you're in collapses.

I wish my jaw would stop hurting

 

[subdued_passion]

Granted, but you can't control it and set yourself on fire ahen you look at your hands.

I wish I was off from work today.

Granted. Today, tomorrow, the day after... coz you've been fired for spending time on Lit while at work.


I wish I owned a real diamond that was as big as my fist.