Corrupt The Wish

[Indienne]

Granted, but the new treadmill is like a toaster. It only has settings of ambling and Usain Bolt.

I wish I could quit smoking

Granted, but you now suffer from priapism.

I wish I had the first editions of all the books that I own.

 

[Twlightdreamer]

Granted, but you now suffer from priapism.

I wish I had the first editions of all the books that I own.

Granted- they're full of typo's and terrible revisions.

I wish I could have a hug right now.

 

[afriquemystique]

Granted. You download them all from Kindle. Then drop your iPad in the sea.

I wish that Sarah Palin would just go away

 

[Indienne]

Granted. You download them all from Kindle. Then drop your iPad in the sea.

I wish that Sarah Palin would just go away

Granted, but now she has been replace by a hundred Mitt Romneys.

I wish I knew how to ski.

 

[afriquemystique]

Granted. Global warming means you have to sell your skis for a pedalo.

I wish for a very well timed tax break

 

[NotHisLady]

Granted. Global warming means you have to sell your skis for a pedalo.

I wish for a very well timed tax break

Granted!
but it's only for people who make less than you and it's financed by doing away with one of the exemptions you usually take.

I wish I would get discovered by a talent scout

 

[PlayfulLittle1]

Granted!
but it's only for people who make less than you and it's financed by doing away with one of the exemptions you usually take.

I wish I would get discovered by a talent scout

Granted. Discovered motionless in a ditch at the ripe old age of 96. Poor soul.

I wish I was an optimist.

 

[NotHisLady]

Granted. Discovered motionless in a ditch at the ripe old age of 96. Poor soul.

I wish I was an optimist.

(you're delightfully evil)

GRANTED!!
You are now a member in good standing of the
United States Optimist Dinghy Association


I wish I had a new car

 

[1sickbastard]

(you're delightfully evil)

GRANTED!!
You are now a member in good standing of the
United States Optimist Dinghy Association


I wish I had a new car

Granted, it's a Matchbox car, your choice of make and model.

I wish I had a a bottle of 50 year old Irish Whiskey.

 

[luvthedesserts]

Granted, it's a Matchbox car, your choice of make and model.

I wish I had a a bottle of 50 year old Irish Whiskey.

Granted. It was delicious.


I wish I didn't have a hangover from Irish Whiskey.

 

[1sickbastard]

Granted. It was delicious.


I wish I didn't have a hangover from Irish Whiskey.

Granted, it's now a hangover from cheap beer.

I wish I felt hungry enough to eat.

 

[NotHisLady]

Granted, it's now a hangover from cheap beer.

I wish I felt hungry enough to eat.

Granted--
now you're ravenous. Unfortunately the fridge is empty and so are all the cupboards.

I wish someone would stop by and offer to take me to lunch

 

[luvthedesserts]

Granted, it's now a hangover from cheap beer.

I wish I felt hungry enough to eat.

Granted. You're now starving, but find yourself on an island with no food.


I wish I wasn't so girthy.

 

[afriquemystique]

Granted. Your girth continues to grow an inch a day, by Christmas you are driving a pickup with your dick sticking through the back window whilst tourists stand next to that monstrosity taking pictures.

I wish I had a talking fish...

 

[1sickbastard]

.....

 

[NotHisLady]

Granted. Your girth continues to grow an inch a day, by Christmas you are driving a pickup with your dick sticking through the back window whilst tourists stand next to that monstrosity taking pictures.

I wish I had a talking fish...

You are now living in a Disney movie

I still wish someone would take me to lunch
(my needs are small)

 

[nickname2013]

You are now living in a Disney movie

I still wish someone would take me to lunch
(my needs are small)

Granted. He doesn't bring his wallet, though.

I wish I had a robot assistant to clean my apartment.

 

[afriquemystique]

You are now living in a Disney movie

I still wish someone would take me to lunch
(my needs are small)

I take you to lunch. We talk, you fall in love with my eyes, fingertips dance on the tabletop, the wine brings you warmth and ecstasy, tongues dance on lips, lust fills your body...Then the waiter sets himself on fire. Justin Bieber is played at a ludicrous volume. A card is handed to you by the maitre'd. You've been Rickrolled.

I wish I had magic pants.

 

[NotHisLady]

Granted. He doesn't bring his wallet, though.

I wish I had a robot assistant to clean my apartment.

Granted--
you just got your mail order Roomba from the postman. YAY

I take you to lunch. We talk, you fall in love with my eyes, fingertips dance on the tabletop, the wine brings you warmth and ecstasy, tongues dance on lips, lust fills your body...Then the waiter sets himself on fire. Justin Bieber is played at a ludicrous volume. A card is handed to you by the maitre'd. You've been Rickrolled.

I wish I had magic pants.

Granted--

Your name is now Wallace, you have a dog named Grommit and you should be very careful of The Wrong Trousers!


I wish I really could grant wishes, this is fun

 

[Ask For More]

Granted--

I wish I really could grant wishes, this is fun

Granted, but you can only grant the wishes of insects

I wish I could dunk a basketball

 

[codex954]

I wish I could dunk a basketball

Granted. You can dunk a basketball because you're now 8 feet tall and can no longer fit into any of your clothes nor drive your car comfortably.

I wish my Internet connection was more reliable.

 

[PlayfulLittle1]

Granted. You can dunk a basketball because you're now 8 feet tall and can no longer fit into any of your clothes nor drive your car comfortably.

I wish my Internet connection was more reliable.

Granted. It is reliably non-existent. We'll miss you!

I wish I had more me-time.

 

[MedicalMuse]

Granted, now you are locked in solitary.

I wish I liked pizza

 

[PlayfulLittle1]

Granted, now you are locked in solitary.

I wish I liked pizza

Granted, but now it's all you will eat and all the ingredients have vanished off the face of the earth. So sad.

I wish I was nicer about this.

 

[NotHisLady]

Granted, but now it's all you will eat and all the ingredients have vanished off the face of the earth. So sad.

I wish I was nicer about this.

(sigh, I really do think you're delightfully evil)
granted
but every time you do a nice thing granting a wish for someone you grow more body hair. exponentially

I wish I could control the minds of people I know