Corrupt Wish

[Belegon]

wish granted, only now you don't know anything else.

I wish to never get sick again.

granted, but you have fallen head over heels for your doctor and now must make up injuries in order to get to see him/her to arrange a proper seduction.

I wish I were off tomorrow too...

 

[lucky-E-leven]

wish granted, only now you don't know anything else.

I wish to never get sick again.

Granted, but then science finds out and you spend the rest of your life being studied so that they may make the same wish come true for the rest of the world's population.

I wish a slow painful death on the neighbor's cat for biting my daughter earlier today.

 

[Guest]

Granted, but then science finds out and you spend the rest of your life being studied so that they may make the same wish come true for the rest of the world's population.

I wish a slow painful death on the neighbor's cat for biting my daughter earlier today.

Granted. But it dies of starvation, trapped in your basement and you can't find the damned thing. The smell is attrocious and eventually you have to burn the house.

(Sorry to hear about your daughter getting bit. )

I wish I could afford a new truck.

 

[lilith1979]

Granted. But it dies of starvation, trapped in your basement and you can't find the damned thing. The smell is attrocious and eventually you have to burn the house.

(Sorry to hear about your daughter getting bit. )

I wish I could afford a new truck.

Granted, only once you pick it up, you get in an accident 1 mile away from the dealership lot and the truck is totalled. Your insurance company screwed up, and didn't have the vehicle listed yet-so you're stuck paying on a truck you can't even drive. As a result, you end up getting a 1985 Toyota Pickup so you can get to and from work.

I wish I had some flowers

 

[RebeccaLeah]

Granted, only once you pick it up, you get in an accident 1 mile away from the dealership lot and the truck is totalled. Your insurance company screwed up, and didn't have the vehicle listed yet-so you're stuck paying on a truck you can't even drive. As a result, you end up getting a 1985 Toyota Pickup so you can get to and from work.

I wish I had some flowers

Granted, honeysuckle complete with the bees.

I wish I could get laid instead of going to class.

 

[ABSTRUSE]

Granted, honeysuckle complete with the bees.

I wish I could get laid instead of going to class.

Granted, but that's only because you've been turned into plush carpeting.

I wish for some caramel for my apples.

 

[lilith1979]

Granted, but that's only because you've been turned into plush carpeting.

I wish for some caramel for my apples.

Granted, only your apples are filled with maggots!

I wish for some chocolate ice cream

 

[Edward Teach]

Granted, only your apples are filled with maggots!

I wish for some chocolate ice cream

Granted only it is served at a Michael Jackson party at Neverland and you have to share a spoon with him.

I wish I had a paddle

 

[Svenskaflicka]

Granted only it is served at a Michael Jackson party at Neverland and you have to share a spoon with him.

I wish I had a paddle

Granted - but your lady's beating you with it, and since it's of poor quality, it leaves splinters in your ass cheeks.

I wish I could make out at the company party with that cute male telephone operator.

 

[lilith1979]

Granted - but your lady's beating you with it, and since it's of poor quality, it leaves splinters in your ass cheeks.

I wish I could make out at the company party with that cute male telephone operator.

Granted, only your spouse catches you and drags you through a painful divorce.

I wish I could go to a gang bang right now.

 

[BlackShanglan]

Granted, only your spouse catches you and drags you through a painful divorce.

I wish I could go to a gang bang right now.

Granted, but it's spectator-only seating and the bangee is Rush Limbaugh.

I wish I could write like Oscar Wilde.

 

[smoochypig]

I wish I could write like Oscar Wilde.

Granted - but one page at a time, from inside a prison cell.

I wish I could be as endearing as this lil ole puppy's eyes

 

[BlackShanglan]

Granted - but one page at a time, from inside a prison cell.

I wish I could be as endearing as this lil ole puppy's eyes

Tragically, I would take that bargain in a heartbeat.



Anyway ...


Granted. But you have her brains as well

I wish I had a big beautiful country estate and all the dosh to keep it up.

 

[Guest]

I wish I had a big beautiful country estate and all the dosh to keep it up.

Ok, but it will be in Russia in 1917 and the 5000 souls (peasants) will rise up and drive you off; you'll go to Petersburg where your pal Nick II is being arrested as you walk in the palace doors.

I wish I could afford (and pay handsomely) a personal secretary, housekeeper and cook.

Perdite

 

[lilith1979]

Edit
Wish granted, but they do nothing but fuck around all day (literally) and rob you blind.

I wish I had a Winnebago

 

[smoochypig]

Granted, but after decking out the lovemobile with all kinds of fun paraphernalia and having painted it bright yellow, you go and drop the keys down a storm drain while doing the happy dance. Thus rendering you stuck in the middle of a conservative hicksville in a forgotten part of texas.

I wish I was behind such a cute ass as in that AV - keys down a drain optional.

 

[BlackShanglan]

Granted, but after decking out the lovemobile with all kinds of fun paraphernalia and having painted it bright yellow, you go and drop the keys down a storm drain while doing the happy dance. Thus rendering you stuck in the middle of a conservative hicksville in a forgotten part of texas.

I wish I was behind such a cute ass as in that AV - keys down a drain optional.

Granted, but in a moment of shock you realize it's Orlando Bloom's.

I wish I had a really good, really devoted, and nicely handsome manservant.

Shanglan

 

[OhMissScarlett]

I wish I had a really good, really devoted, and nicely handsome manservant.

Shanglan

Ok, granted. But you soon become tired of Mr. Danvers' snivelling devotion and become bored out of your skull. You then take out an ad for a dirty filthy scoundrel and spare no expense.

I wish I could write something brilliant today.

 

[fifty5]

I wish I could write something brilliant today.

Granted - but no-one will accept it for publication.

I wish my driving license covered every sodding vehicle on the road

 

[Weird Harold]

I wish I could write something brilliant today.

Granted. Evreything you write for thenext 24 hours will be of earth-shaking brilliance worthy of consecutive pulitzer prizes for the next decade.

However, when you sober up...


I wish every parley card I bet over the next year to be winner. (There is no Lottery in Nevada.)

 

[lilith1979]

Granted. Evreything you write for thenext 24 hours will be of earth-shaking brilliance worthy of consecutive pulitzer prizes for the next decade.

However, when you sober up...


I wish every parley card I bet over the next year to be winner. (There is no Lottery in Nevada.)

granted, only you win 100 peso's every time.

I wish I could fuck Orlando Bloom

 

[Couture]

Granted. Meet Orlando Joebob Bloom.


I wish I never felt guilty.

 

[ABSTRUSE]

granted, only you win 100 peso's every time.

I wish I could fuck Orlando Bloom

Granted but so do hundreds of other people and you have to wait in line so long that archeologists find your body and you would have been next in line before you died of sex starvation.

I wish I had a wish.

 

[carsonshepherd]

Granted but so do hundreds of other people and you have to wait in line so long that archeologists find your body and you would have been next in line before you died of sex starvation.

I wish I had a wish.

Granted. But you're thirsty and you unthinkingly say you wish you had a drink of water, and you get the water but the wish is wasted. And you spend the rest of your life thinking what you would have wished for.

I wish my mom would win the PowerBall.

 

[Weird Harold]

I wish my mom would win the PowerBall.

Granted, but in an incredible coincident, there are 263 million wining tickets and she only wins $0.36 to be paid over thirty years.

I wish the exchange rate for the Peso would go to 1,000 US Dollars to the Peso for the time frame I'm winning Parley tickets.