Corrupt Wish

[RebeccaLeah]

damn it Cloudy....

Granted but it all goes to paying lawyer's fees.

I wish I could spend all day and all night on the phone with that special someone with the sexy voice.

 

[fifty5]

Granted. However, it's so dark in the room that you're not sure which one it is, and it turns out to be the best sex you've ever had, and you are doomed to wonder which lady was there.

I wish I was a millionaire.

Granted, but then the tax man demands 2 mill back-taxes.

I wish my puppies didn't shit in the house...

 

[carsonshepherd]

damn it Cloudy....

Granted but it all goes to paying lawyer's fees.

I wish I could spend all day and all night on the phone with that special someone with the sexy voice.

Granted, but then you've spent so long on the phone, it actually grows into your ear and becomes a permanent part of your head! Then you have no choice but to join a circus sideshow, where you become close friends with the bearded lady.

I wish I could understand the language of animals.

 

[RebeccaLeah]

Granted, but then the tax man demands 2 mill back-taxes.

I wish my puppies didn't shit in the house...

Both granted, carson learns to understand them, but cannot speak it well and while he gets the point across to not poop on in the house, he teaches them to pee everywhere and spill their food all over the rugs.

I wish time would fast forward for five years.

 

[fifty5]

Both granted, carson learns to understand them, but cannot speak it well and while he gets the point across to not poop on in the house, he teaches them to pee everywhere and spill their food all over the rugs.

I wish time would fast forward for five years.

Granted - if you're really sure Becca - but those will be the best five years of your life!

I wish I could score as well in person as I do on-line.

 

[doormouse]

I wish I could score as well in person as I do on-line.

Granted, but now everywhere you go you get molested by both men and women causing your life to be living hell and impossible for you to get an erection due to stress.

I wish I could sing.

 

[carsonshepherd]

Granted, but now everywhere you go you get molested by both men and women causing your life to be living hell and impossible for you to get an erection due to stress.

I wish I could sing.

granted, but the only work you can get is singing lame christmas songs!

I wish I could wake up one morning and my tattoos would be gone.

 

[Weird Harold]

I wish I could sing.

Granted, you can sing, but only "The Song That never Ends" and you can't stop singing it despite repeated beatings by former friends and co-workers.

I wish baseball fans would wake up to the fact that they're devoted to the second most boring game in the world. (second only to Cricket)

 

[rgraham666]

granted, but the only work you can get is singing lame christmas songs!

I wish I could wake up one morning and my tattoos would be gone.

Granted, but so is the skin their attached to.

I wish I had a tobacco pouch that was always full of tobacco.

 

[carsonshepherd]

Granted, but so is the skin their attached to.

I wish I had a tobacco pouch that was always full of tobacco.

Sorry. I can't grant this one. Tobacco gives you cancer.
Maybe someone else will.

 

[Weird Harold]

I wish I had a tobacco pouch that was always full of tobacco.

Granted, your tobacco pouchis always full because it cannot be opened.

Iwish the words "Play Ball" would invariable trigger a rainstorm sufficient to to prevent basball from being played.

 

[carsonshepherd]

I wish the words "Play Ball" would invariable trigger a rainstorm sufficient to to prevent basball from being played.

Granted. But the lack of baseball only rbings more fans and more exposure to cricket! The world becomes obsessed with cricket and you can't turn on the TV without seeing a cricket match.

I wish women would stop wearing bras.

 

[BlackShanglan]

Granted. But the lack of baseball only rbings more fans and more exposure to cricket! The world becomes obsessed with cricket and you can't turn on the TV without seeing a cricket match.

I wish women would stop wearing bras.

Gahhhhh! Not CRICKET!

Saw a great "what killed the dinosaurs" exhibit in a British museum that included one shot of a happy bronto announcing "Hey, I discovered this great game!" while holding a cricket bat, and all of the other poor dinos dying of boredom.


Now that wish. They do, but they all end up with their tits around their knees as a result of gravity's natural contributions.

I wish that I could spend three hours a day being massaged by attractive, attentive, naked bodyservants.

Shanglan

 

[carsonshepherd]

I wish that I could spend three hours a day being massaged by attractive, attentive, naked bodyservants.

Shanglan

Granted. But they're too tired from the four hours they spent on me, so they do a shitty job on you.

I wish I had a corduroy G-string.

 

[Weird Harold]

I wish women would stop wearing bras.

Granted. All bras in the world vanish -- so do the breasts that were in them. Millions of angry women descend upon you and rip you into very small pieces.

I wish every camera aimed at a cricket match and microphone that receives one Cricket related term would melt into scrap.
(Now that I've eliminated baseball, I might as well take onCricket.)

 

[carsonshepherd]

Granted. All bras in the world vanish -- so do the breasts that were in them. Millions of angry women descend upon you and rip you into very small pieces.

I wish every camera aimed at a cricket match and microphone that receives one Cricket related term would melt into scrap.
(Now that I've eliminated baseball, I might as well take onCricket.)

Granted, but what the hell is it with you and sports? Once you've eliminated cricket and basecball, the only thing left to televise... is GOLF!

I wish people listened to me. The world would be a better place.

 

[Weird Harold]

Granted, but what the hell is it with you and sports? Once you've eliminated cricket and basecball, the only thing left to televise... is GOLF!

I wish people listened to me. The world would be a better place.

Granted, People listen to you and the world becomes a better place. You however develop laringitis and throat cancer and die before you se the better world you've guided into being.

(My daily dose of NFL trivia is being preeempted at the moment -- not just by baseball, but by NY Yankees baseball with the requisite "Homer" Yankees broadcasters and ads for new-york politicians. Cricket is just a silly game --who ever heard of scheduling games to last three or five DAYS?

(I enjoy watching Golf -- If nothing else, it usually involves some great scenery.)

PS: I wish the International Space Agency would commit to putting permanent settlements on the Moon and sending a manned mission to Mars in the next decade.

 

[carsonshepherd]

I wish the International Space Agency would commit to putting permanent settlements on the Moon and sending a manned mission to Mars in the next decade.

Granted. However, since the moon is made of green cheese, the settlers end up eating it and have to come back to earth. And with Mars, they send a manned mission, but the Martians wanted a womanned mission, so they invade earth and enslave all the women.

I wish I had the power to heal people.

 

[OhMissScarlett]

Granted. However, since the moon is made of green cheese, the settlers end up eating it and have to come back to earth. And with Mars, they send a manned mission, but the Martians wanted a womanned mission, so they invade earth and enslave all the women.

I wish I had the power to heal people.

PMSL! Oh, granted, but you do not have the power to heal thy self and nor does anybody else, so you wither away.

I wish I had a ripe, juicy peach.

 

[Wholemanz]

Granted. However, since the moon is made of green cheese, the settlers end up eating it and have to come back to earth. And with Mars, they send a manned mission, but the Martians wanted a womanned mission, so they invade earth and enslave all the women.

I wish I had the power to heal people.

Granted, though you are now a Dominatrix...

I wish someone would grow some balls.

 

[Colleen Thomas]

Granted, though you are now a Dominatrix...

I wish someone would grow some balls.

Granted, but that someone is your mum

I wish I had my sanity back.

 

[fifty5]

I wish I had my sanity back.

Granted!

Now try to get back into the AH!

I wish I was in bed. (Shit, I can do that! Night night all...)

 

[lilith1979]

Granted!

Now try to get back into the AH!

I wish I was in bed. (Shit, I can do that! Night night all...)

Granted, and as you drift off to sleep, you are awakened by a succubus.....

I wish I had a house.

 

[Wholemanz]

Granted, and as you drift off to sleep, you are awakened by a succubus.....

I wish I had a house.

Granted, but your house is a moble home and it is tornado season...

I wish my boobs were bigger...

 

[carsonshepherd]

Granted, but your house is a moble home and it is tornado season...

I wish my boobs were bigger...

Granted, but they grow so big nothing will restrain them and they droop down around your ankles.

I wish I didn't have to get up so early.