Corrupt Wish

[carsonshepherd]

I wish I could summon the will-power to go to bed at a sensible time...

Granted, but you become so sensible, you miss all the fun!

I wish I had a houseboy to clean, do all the chores, and take care of my pets.

 

[Liar]

Granted, but you become so sensible, you miss all the fun!

I wish I had a houseboy to clean, do all the chores, and take care of my pets.

Granted. He "takes care" of your pets, mafioso style. Rest in peace, Spot.

I wish I was better at remebering stuff.

 

[Weird Harold]

I wish I was better at remebering stuff.

Granted. You can remember all sorts of trivial stuff. In fact the stuff you can remember all runs together in a free association so that you can never pin down any single fact that is of any use.

I wish I had a better computer.

 

[Virtual_Burlesque]

I wish I had a better computer.

Granted. May I introduce you to the Hal 9000. The most powerful computer in this solar system. He is in charge of your life-support system.


I wish I could figure skate.

 

[BlackShanglan]

Granted. You're so brilliant that you excite the jealousy of Tonya Harding, who kneecaps you.

I wish I could talk to my dogs.

 

[carsonshepherd]

I wish I could talk to my dogs.

Granted. You can talk to them, but they still don't listen.

 

[doormouse]

Granted. You're so brilliant that you excite the jealousy of Tonya Harding, who kneecaps you.

I wish I could talk to my dogs.

As carson didn't place a Q...

Granted, but now you can hear them telling you they want to sniff your butt all day and you walk with your back to the wall in constant fear.

i wish I wasn't so busy.

 

[Virtual_Burlesque]

... i wish I wasn't so busy.

Granted, you have been sentenced to ten years in solitary confinement. The busiest part of your day is when the Chickadee you’re are trying to teach to eat from you hand appears at your window.


I wish long distance relationships were easy.

 

[carsonshepherd]

I wish long distance relationships were easy.

Granted, they're just as easy as a regular live-in relationship. (BWaahahaha!)

I wish I could eat whatever I wanted and not put on weight.

 

[BlackShanglan]

Granted, they're just as easy as a regular live-in relationship. (BWaahahaha!)

I wish I could eat whatever I wanted and not put on weight.

Granted. Unfortuantely, due to the laws of conservation of matter, you experience some genuinely repulsive intestinal side effects.

I wish I could eat whatever I wanted and Carson put on my weight

Shanglan

 

[smoochypig]

Granted. Unfortuantely, due to the laws of conservation of matter, you experience some genuinely repulsive intestinal side effects.

I wish I could eat whatever I wanted and Carson put on my weight

Shanglan

Granted - and after tonight's party (and yes it IS tonight!) Carson will be particularly burdened. Sadly however, all the enjoyment of the food is also transferred and not being able to taste any of the delicious food is total torment.

I wish I knew what you meant about putting on weight when you eat *does the skinny Brit jig*

 

[BlackShanglan]

Granted - and after tonight's party (and yes it IS tonight!) Carson will be particularly burdened. Sadly however, all the enjoyment of the food is also transferred and not being able to taste any of the delicious food is total torment.

I wish I knew what you meant about putting on weight when you eat *does the skinny Brit jig*

Damn, pig, that is an especially evil corruption.

Granted. And you learn by gaining weight ten times as fast as anyone else on the planet.

I wish I could fly.

Shanglan

 

[smoochypig]

I wish I could fly.

Granted - but you never learned how to land so you're destined to soar for eternity.

I wish I could see the sunrise from Kilimanjaro's summit.

 

[carsonshepherd]

Damn, pig, that is an especially evil corruption.

Granted. And you learn by gaining weight ten times as fast as anyone else on the planet.

I wish I could fly.

Shanglan

Granted. You can fly all right, but suddenly you've developed a terrible fear of heights, and you scrape the ground with your toes when you fly anywhere.

I wish I had a baked potato with butter, cheese, sour cream and bacon.

 

[BlackShanglan]

Granted. You can fly all right, but suddenly you've developed a terrible fear of heights, and you scrape the ground with your toes when you fly anywhere.

I wish I had a baked potato with butter, cheese, sour cream and bacon.

Granted. You had one. Last Tuesday.

I wish I got two wishes for cleverly corrupting both of you.

Shanglan

 

[Virtual_Burlesque]

Granted. Your first wish is granted that you win the chance to marry a partner who is far-far too good for you. The second wish is granted so that you are able to get a divorce.


I wish I had a sports car and I could drive.

 

[BlackShanglan]

Granted. Your first wish is granted that you win the chance to marry a partner who is far-far too good for you. The second wish is granted so that you are able to get a divorce.


I wish I had a sports car and I could drive.

Granted. Unfortunately, you can drive horses, not cars.

I wish this damned work would magically do itself.

Shanglan

 

[carsonshepherd]

Granted. Unfortunately, you can drive horses, not cars.

I wish this damned work would magically do itself.

Shanglan

Granted, it does itself! However it does a really piss poor job, you get the blame, and your superiors fire you.

I wish I knew then what I know now.

 

[OhMissScarlett]

Granted, it does itself! However it does a really piss poor job, you get the blame, and your superiors fire you.

I wish I knew then what I know now.

Granted, but then you would've humped everything in sight and now you would have a disease or a sore back.

I wish I had $1200 for a new computer.

 

[Guest]

I wish I had $1200 for a new computer.

You do, but it's a "do it yourself" model and the directions are in Polish.

I wish I had my dream reading chair and the time to sit in it.

Perdita

 

[Guest]

You do, but it's a "do it yourself" model and the directions are in Polish.

I wish I had my dream reading chair and the time to sit in it.

Perdita

granted, you are now the proud owner of your dream reading chair. however, you become ensnared in its thick ticking... trapped in your nirvana, you never see the light of day and your body atrophies as you waste away reading trotsky's the history of the russian revolution...

i wish it would snow

 

[Guest]

granted, you are now the proud owner of your dream reading chair. however, you become ensnared in its thick ticking... trapped in your nirvana, you never see the light of day and your body atrophies as you waste away reading trotsky's the history of the russian revolution...

i wish it would snow

Granted. Hope you have a strong snow shovel. You are getting 22.634 feet of snow. and you have to tunnel your way to the entire way to the store cause you didn't stock up on bread and beer.

I wish indians were invading Columbus. Well... One anyway.

 

[Guest]

(Geez, Vellalala, you really are a meanyhead. P. )

 

[Guest]

Granted. Hope you have a strong snow shovel. You are getting 22.634 feet of snow. and you have to tunnel your way to the entire way to the store cause you didn't stock up on bread and beer.

I wish indians were invading Columbus. Well... One anyway.

damnit dran, stop making wishes that you really wish were true!

granted... *SIGH*

I WISH i could type and spell

 

[RebeccaLeah]

damnit dran, stop making wishes that you really wish were true!

granted... *SIGH*

I WISH i could type and spell

Granted, you can type with impecible (rather ironic that I can't spell it right) spelling, unfortuntely this only occurs when you type with your nose and therefore it takes you a week to type out a single sentence.

I wish my lemonade popcicle was chocolate mousse instead. (notice that I spelled correctly therefore no chocolate mooses please)