Corrupt Wish

[Svenskaflicka]

Granted. They don't. Unfortunately, since everyone wants them, the price have gone up to the equivalent of a -02 Porsche.

I wish some pastry at home.

 

[Edward Teach]

Granted. They don't. Unfortunately, since everyone wants them, the price have gone up to the equivalent of a -02 Porsche.

I wish some pastry at home.

Granted - only it's French pastry - the kind they photograph for pin up pics and she's hot for your man. Chases after him day and night wearing nothing but skimpy negligee.

I wish I had some French pastry

 

[Weird Harold]

I wish some pastry at home.

Granted: Welcome to you brand new gingerbread house. Also, meet your new neighbors, Hansel and Gretel.

I wish I had my "heap" was as reliable as it was when new -- which was VERY reliable.

 

[BlackShanglan]

Granted: Welcome to you brand new gingerbread house. Also, meet your new neighbors, Hansel and Gretel.

I wish I had my "heap" was as reliable as it was when new -- which was VERY reliable.

Granted. It's reliable. Reliably broken every time.

I wish I had some French pastry.

Granted. You do. Only she looks like she's been eating German pastry (method: roll pastry. smear all over with butter. repeat 3000 times) every hour on the hour.

I wish I had the world's best painkillers.

 

[Edward Teach]

Granted. It's reliable. Reliably broken every time.



Granted. You do. Only she looks like she's been eating German pastry (method: roll pastry. smear all over with butter. repeat 3000 times) every hour on the hour.

I wish I had the world's best painkillers.

Granted - Funeral Thursday at 1:00 p.m.

I wish I had a foot long hot dog

 

[BlackShanglan]

Granted - Funeral Thursday at 1:00 p.m.

I wish I had a foot long hot dog

Granted. But you get so many lame "suggestive" jokes that you die of terminal annoyance.

I wish I had a week in the sun somewhere.

 

[smoochypig]

I wish I had a week in the sun somewhere.

Granted, you appear semi naked on the front page of The Sun for the next 7 days under the headline "YOU'RE NICKED!"

I just wish something good would happen.

 

[carsonshepherd]

Granted, you appear semi naked on the front page of The Sun for the next 7 days under the headline "YOU'RE NICKED!"

I just wish something good would happen.

Granted. I win the lottery and get a multi-million-dollar publishing deal. (You didn't say the something good had to happen to YOU!)

I wish someone would tell me what the fuck "You're Nicked" means.

 

[Weird Harold]

I wish someone would tell me what the fuck "You're Nicked" means.

Granted: Scotland Yard will be by about 0200 your time to give you demonstration. I twill take you twenty to life to convince the judge who convicts you that it was only a demonstration of the british slang term for being arrested and hauled off to jail.

I wish for religious tolerance an respect of others' beliefs.

 

[Virtual_Burlesque]

I wish for religious tolerance an respect of others' beliefs.

Granted! Your first encounter after your enlightenment is with a Thugee who wishes to sacrifice you to Kali.

I wish I knew whether the word similar to 'hint' was spelled clew or clue.

 

[BlackShanglan]

Granted: Scotland Yard will be by about 0200 your time to give you demonstration. I twill take you twenty to life to convince the judge who convicts you that it was only a demonstration of the british slang term for being arrested and hauled off to jail.

I wish for religious tolerance an respect of others' beliefs.

Granted. We tolerate the cultists who murder you and dance around your dismembered remains in the name of the great god Om.

I wish I could photosynthesize.

 

[carsonshepherd]

Granted. We tolerate the cultists who murder you and dance around your dismembered remains in the name of the great god Om.

I wish I could photosynthesize.

granted, but global warming causes the seas to evaporate, obscuring the sun to the point where you can't get any nourishment from its rays and you wither and die just like my last six houseplants.

I wish I looked good in red.

 

[BlackShanglan]

granted, but global warming causes the seas to evaporate, obscuring the sun to the point where you can't get any nourishment from its rays and you wither and die just like my last six houseplants.

I wish I looked good in red.

Granted. Unfortunately, you only look good in a rather hideous brick red and nothing else.

I wish I had a nice William Morris original.

 

[OhMissScarlett]

granted, but global warming causes the seas to evaporate, obscuring the sun to the point where you can't get any nourishment from its rays and you wither and die just like my last six houseplants.

I wish I looked good in red.

Granted, but you look bad in every other color and red becomes tiresome after about a week.

I wish I wasn't so fucking bored.

 

[OhMissScarlett]

Granted. Unfortunately, you only look good in a rather hideous brick red and nothing else.

I wish I had a nice William Morris original.

Granted, but like Jane, you get tired of Morris and all his shit and go looking for another artist.

oh, I wish I had a faster connection.

 

[smoochypig]

I wish I could photosynthesize.

Granted. You are now lawn grass. Unfortunately (perhaps), you become the source of grazing for a herd of Shetland Ponies and in turn, help Mr Angry from Tunsbridge Wells grow a prize winning rose bush.

I wish I had edited this post quicker.

 

[BlackShanglan]

oh, I wish I had a faster connection.

You do, but it only means that smoochypig stills anwers everything shortly after you do and at greater length.

Granted. You are now lawn grass. Unfortunately (perhaps), you become the source of grazing for a herd of Shetland Ponies and in turn, help Mr Angry from Tunsbridge Wells grow a prize winning rose bush.

I wish I had edited this post quicker.

Granted. But Miss Scarlett is still faster yet.

I wish I could get a certain pee-head puppy to behave herself.

 

[OhMissScarlett]

You do, but it only means that smoochypig stills anwers everything shortly after you do and at greater length.




Granted. But Miss Scarlett is still faster yet.

I wish I could get a certain pee-head puppy to behave herself.

Granted, but then what will you do instead of cleaning carpets?

Lol, now I'm drunk and will be posting even slower, no worries, Smoochypig.

I wish I had another fine Mexican beer.

 

[Svenskaflicka]

Granted, but then what will you do instead of cleaning carpets?

Lol, now I'm drunk and will be posting even slower, no worries, Smoochypig.

I wish I had another fine Mexican beer.

Granted. Unfortunately, there are cigarette ends and dead flies in it.

I wish a gorgeous hunk would ring my bell and bring me a free pizza with anchovies and pineapple.

 

[OhMissScarlett]

Granted. Unfortunately, there are cigarette ends and dead flies in it.

I wish a gorgeous hunk would ring my bell and bring me a free pizza with anchovies and pineapple.

Granted, but he's no smarter than the anchovies.

I wish people would clean up their own messes.

 

[poohlive]

Granted, but then the sanitation department is thrown for a loop, and millions of people are laid off. Lawyers are of no more use to use, and all decide at once to jump into the ocean like lemmings. Counselors turn to other counselors for help, trying to explore the fact that they have no one left to counsel.

( i tried to make this bittersweet about seeing all the lives you destroyed, but it turned out to be a pretty good wish anyway, time to try a new tactic)

... ummm, granted, but a giant green dragon pops up and eats you. Ha ha ha!

( sorry, I got nothing)

I wish Australia's toilets would flush the right way.

 

[Svenskaflicka]

Granted, but he's no smarter than the anchovies.

Isn't the purpose of this game to make my wish BAD instead of BETTER?

 

[OhMissScarlett]

Isn't the purpose of this game to make my wish BAD instead of BETTER?

After I hit 'submit' I realized it didn't sound so bad at all, lol. Guess I just couldnt rain on anyone's gorgeous hunk wish.

I wish Australia's toilets would flush the right way.

Ok, Granted. But, Australian plumbers no longer know how to deal with the toilets and American plumbers have to be imported. This causes Australian plumbers to freak out and riot, leaving Aussies with hefty bills to pay and too much butt crack to deal with.

 

[BlackShanglan]

As Miss Scarlett has made no wish, I will corrupt Dorothy Parker's (in Miss S's sig). She gets a man who is handsome, ruthless, and stupid. Unfortunately, he's so stupid that he sits in a corner drooling (ruthlessly) on himself.

I wish I had servants to do all of the chores I hate.

Shanglan

 

[fifty5]

I wish I had servants to do all of the chores I hate.

Shanglan

Granted, but they rob you blind...

I wish that sleep was routine, rather than something that visists when it wishes