Corrupt Wish

[OhMissScarlett]

Granted, but you discover that she's really a he and hates men.

I wish my ex would leave me alone.

Granted, but unfortunatly it's only when your car has broken down in a bad neighborhood.(Knowing all my loser exes, this is probably not far from the truth for you either)

I wish I could be really drunk and not suffer from a hangover tommorow.

 

[carsonshepherd]

Granted, but unfortunatly it's only when your car has broken down in a bad neighborhood.(Knowing all my loser exes, this is probably not far from the truth for you either)

I wish I could be really drunk and not suffer from a hangover tommorow.

Granted. You go on a two-day bender; the hangover doesn't descend until the day AFTER tomorrow.

I wish little elves would come and do all the dirty stuff I hate, leaving me free to eat snacks and surf the internet for porn all day.

 

[fifty5]

I wish little elves would come and do all the dirty stuff I hate, leaving me free to eat snacks and surf the internet for porn all day.

Granted - but constipation takes over.

I wish she'd say "Yes. Now..."

 

[BlackShanglan]

Granted - but constipation takes over.

I wish she'd say "Yes. Now..."

Granted. The quote ends with "fuck off and die."

I wish someone would invent Star Trek-style transporters.

 

[carsonshepherd]

Granted. The quote ends with "fuck off and die."

I wish someone would invent Star Trek-style transporters.

True, but your matter gets all scrambled and you end up in about ten different places, in ten different pieces.

I wish a comet would fall out of the sky and wipe out France.

 

[OhMissScarlett]

True, but your matter gets all scrambled and you end up in about ten different places, in ten different pieces.

I wish a comet would fall out of the sky and wipe out France.

I'll grant this on the condition that you save Olivier Martinez and The Louvre. But, for being so mean, the tail of the comet catches you and turns you to dust just like on 'Night Of The Comet'.

I wish I had a beach house on a lovely bay somewhere far away.
(Hey, that kind of rhymes.)

 

[fifty5]

I wish I had a beach house on a lovely bay somewhere far away.
(Hey, that kind of rhymes.)

Granted. Just a shame that it is so far away that the return trip takes longer than your entire vacation!

 

[OhMissScarlett]

Granted. Just a shame that it is so far away that the return trip takes longer than your entire vacation!

I didn't say I was coming back, now did I?

Fifty, baby, you forgot to wish. Someone jump in and make a wish. I'm fresh out of good ideas.

 

[fifty5]

I didn't say I was coming back, now did I?

Fifty, baby, you forgot to wish. Someone jump in and make a wish. I'm fresh out of good ideas.

Oops!

I wish I was coming with you...

 

[OhMissScarlett]

Oops!

I wish I was coming with you...

Everyone pack your Speedos, it's time for a lengthy holiday.


Ok, I wish I didn't sunburn.

 

[fifty5]

Ok, I wish I didn't sunburn.

Granted, but only because you let me plaster of the factor-99 (Is that corrupt enough?)

I wish I did get to plaster on the factor-99...

 

[OhMissScarlett]

Granted, but only because you let me plaster of the factor-99 (Is that corrupt enough?)

I wish I did get to plaster on the factor-99...

Granted. But the glow of my white skin causes you visual problems, so no fun at the nude beach for you.

I wish I had a Bombay and cranberry with a splash of Sprite.

 

[BlackShanglan]

Granted. But the glow of my white skin causes you visual problems, so no fun at the nude beach for you.

I wish I had a Bombay and cranberry with a splash of Sprite.

Granted. Unfortunately it's a splash FROM a sprite and pixie piss isn't the greatest flavor in the world.

I wish I had a faithful sidekick.

 

[OhMissScarlett]

Granted. Unfortunately it's a splash FROM a sprite and pixie piss isn't the greatest flavor in the world.

I wish I had a faithful sidekick.

I don't know, Shanglan, sprite and pixie piss cocktail might give me super human powers. That or an awful hangover.

 

[fifty5]

I wish I had a faithful sidekick.

Granted. He/she/it faithfully kicks your sides and makes you trot.

I wish I got out more...

 

[MagicaPractica]

I wish for a cookie.

Wish granted. Welcome to Arizona, Greenland: Population 1.

I wish for a cookie.

Granted, you now have a cookie that is infected with a computer virus which keeps you from accessing literotica.com

I wish that Douglas Adams was still alive and writing.

 

[BlackShanglan]

Re: I wish for a cookie.

Granted, you now have a cookie that is infected with a computer virus which keeps you from accessing literotica.com

I wish that Douglas Adams was still alive and writing.

Granted. But like Anne Rice, he suffers from having his ass kissed constantly, develops a bad case of Serious Author Syndrome, and writes unreadable shite about his "philosophy."

I wish I had a vat of Guinness all to myself.

 

[carsonshepherd]

Re: Re: I wish for a cookie.

I wish I had a vat of Guinness all to myself.

Granted. But it's empty because I drank it all last night. (Oh my head)

I wish I didn't stink if I don't take a shower.

 

[fifty5]

Re: Re: Re: I wish for a cookie.

I wish I didn't stink if I don't take a shower.

Granted, but you stink if you do take a shower!

I wish she hadn't got a tummy-bug

 

[BlackShanglan]

Re: Re: Re: Re: I wish for a cookie.

Granted, but you stink if you do take a shower!

I wish she hadn't got a tummy-bug

Granted. She feels great. So great that she goes out on the town with half of Perth.

I wish I was as fast as Secretariat was in his prime.

 

[MagicaPractica]

Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: I wish for a cookie.

Granted. She feels great. So great that she goes out on the town with half of Perth.

I wish I was as fast as Secretariat was in his prime.

Granted. But Colonel Sager will have to perform a little surgery because you're so fast you keep getting into the mare's paddock. I just wish I owned a horse.

 

[BlackShanglan]

Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: I wish for a cookie.

Granted. But Colonel Sager will have to perform a little surgery because you're so fast you keep getting into the mare's paddock. I just wish I owned a horse.

Granted. You own one so mean that it bites apple-sized chunks of wood out of the fence just trying to get at you.

I wish I had a bottle of Dom Perignon.

 

[RebeccaLeah]

Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: I wish for a cookie.

Granted. You own one so mean that it bites apple-sized chunks of wood out of the fence just trying to get at you.

I wish I had a bottle of Dom Perignon.

Way too easy....granted, but it's flat.

I wish I didn't hurt after headbanging (the rock dance, not sexual) last night.

 

[BlackShanglan]

Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: I wish for a cookie.

Way too easy....granted, but it's flat.

I wish I didn't hurt after headbanging (the rock dance, not sexual) last night.

Granted. The doctors find the problem. It's your head. They amputate.

I wish I had more of these delicious chocolate cupcakes I have just devoured.

 

[doormouse]

Granted. The quote ends with "fuck off and die."

.

PMSL!!