Corrupt Wish

[Honey123]

(Congrats, Vella, on making my wish destroy the universe as we know it. Now that is one *corrupted* wish!)

Honey - granted. You have all of the above. You have also got, thanks to a terrible and incurable disease, the life expectancy of a mayfly.

(Or, alternatively, you have all of these things. In a bag on the floor of your bedroom. And the police are knocking rather urgently on your front door.)

I wish I had a fabulous, sumptuous, seven-course meal with wine for each course.

Granted...but it's all the body parts in the bag on my bedroom floor...I put in some favva beans for you as well...

I wish I didn't have the life expectancy of a mayfly...

 

[BlackShanglan]

Granted...but it's all the body parts in the bag on my bedroom floor...I put in some favva beans for you as well...

I wish I didn't have the life expectancy of a mayfly...

*laugh* if it has fava beans, I will eat it.

Granted. You don't have the life expectancy of a mayfly. It's even less.

I wish I had a really good, really long massage.

 

[fifty5]

I wish I had a fabulous, sumptuous, seven-course meal with wine for each course.

Granted, but you have a digestive condition that means all you can do is look!

I wish she'd stop flirting and get close enough to kiss

 

[Guest]

Granted, but you have a digestive condition that means all you can do is look!

I wish she'd stop flirting and get close enough to kiss

and in her eyes, you could see the love she so obviously held for you and as she moved in to kiss you ...you could see the herpes simplex one squillion...undaunted by this, you kissed her anyway and now you live together in pure, unadulterated love...

or

she stops flirting with you, kisses you with breath so obnoxious that you gag instantly and run to the nearest chemist, begging for the cure for severe halotosis.

i wish meatloaf was either meat or a loaf but not both at the same time.

 

[fifty5]

i wish meatloaf was either meat or a loaf but not both at the same time.

Granted. He's meat, lots of meat ... but the music's fine!

I wish vella was here, now!

 

[Guest]

Granted. He's meat, lots of meat ... but the music's fine!

I wish vella was here, now!

granted, i am here and it is now...howevah, i turn out to be the figment of my imgination and i scare myself into a billion different psychosis and am now heavily medicated ...have learned the thorazine shuffle

i wish for a butter finger the size of my arm but without the nasty after taste

 

[Guest]

*laugh* if it has fava beans, I will eat it.

Granted. You don't have the life expectancy of a mayfly. It's even less.

I wish I had a really good, really long massage.

damnit.. i missed this one... sorry BS *snicker*

granted, you are now on the softest, warmest massage table and as you begin to slip into your personal nirvana, you wrinkle you nose at the stench that now surrounds you ...as you look over your shoulder you see that your masseuse is in a leper shroud and tendrils of skin dangle perilously close...

i wish i could spell

 

[Guest]

damnit.. i missed this one... sorry BS *snicker*

granted, you are now on the softest, warmest massage table and as you begin to slip into your personal nirvana, you wrinkle you nose at the stench that now surrounds you ...as you look over your shoulder you see that your masseuse is in a leper shroud and tendrils of skin dangle perilously close...

i wish i could spell

Granted. You are now a sorceress.

And the Salem witch trials ar starting back up.

I wish my cat was not sleeping on my shoulders.

 

[Guest]

Granted. You are now a sorceress.

And the Salem witch trials ar starting back up.

I wish my cat was not sleeping on my shoulders.

[threadjack]
i swear it was the mouldy bread
[/threadjack]

 

[Guest]

granted, i am here and it is now...howevah, i turn out to be the figment of my imgination and i scare myself into a billion different psychosis and am now heavily medicated ...have learned the thorazine shuffle

i wish for a butter finger the size of my arm but without the nasty after taste

Granted. Your finger swell to 15 times their original size and they must be constantly coated in butter or your skin will split.


My wish? See above.

 

[BlackShanglan]

Granted. You are now a sorceress.

And the Salem witch trials ar starting back up.

I wish my cat was not sleeping on my shoulders.

Granted. It's sleeping under the tires of a van.

(sorry kitty)

I wish this fever was either not here or something really exotic and exciting.

 

[OhMissScarlett]

Granted. It's sleeping under the tires of a van.

(sorry kitty)

I wish this fever was either not here or something really exotic and exciting.

Granted, but you soon find out that malaria, albeit glamourous, is no fun when the dementia sets in.

I wish I had a beach cottage with a heart shaped whirlpool.

 

[BlackShanglan]

Granted, but you soon find out that malaria, albeit glamourous, is no fun when the dementia sets in.

I wish I had a beach cottage with a heart shaped whirlpool.

Granted, but it's full of gloppy Cream of Wheat. Ewww.

I wish I had a huge box of really good chocolates.

 

[carsonshepherd]

Granted, but it's full of gloppy Cream of Wheat. Ewww.

I wish I had a huge box of really good chocolates.

Granted but they're all the nougat kind. Yuuck!

I wish my partner was obsessed with oral sex.

 

[BlackShanglan]

Granted but they're all the nougat kind. Yuuck!

I wish my partner was obsessed with oral sex.

Granted, but she's also 400 pounds. Oral is oral and includes food.

I wish I had a vast reservoir of excellent port.

 

[lucky-E-leven]

Granted, but she's also 400 pounds. Oral is oral and includes food.

I wish I had a vast reservoir of excellent port.

Granted, but I misread your wish and supplied you with a large vat of 'substance' taken from a port-o-let.

I wish it was December 16th.

 

[BlackShanglan]

Granted, but I misread your wish and supplied you with a large vat of 'substance' taken from a port-o-let.

I wish it was December 16th.

Ewwwwww.

It is. And the worst ice storm in history has hit, and you're sealed in your house three feet deep in ice.

I wish I had the stamina and strenght of a lion.

 

[lucky-E-leven]

Ewwwwww.

It is. And the worst ice storm in history has hit, and you're sealed in your house three feet deep in ice.

I wish I had the stamina and strenght of a lion.

SWEET!
Locked in the house on December 16th is an absolute wish come true.

Granted, but no human is able to handle your strength and stamina, so you're relegated to tangling with lioness's from now on.

I wish I had my nipples pierced.

 

[carsonshepherd]

Granted, but she's also 400 pounds.

That's the most corrupt one YET!

 

[BlackShanglan]

SWEET!
Locked in the house on December 16th is an absolute wish come true.

Granted, but no human is able to handle your strength and stamina, so you're relegated to tangling with lioness's from now on.

I wish I had my nipples pierced.

You know ... I think we both just managed to uncorrupt *laugh* I will be gentlewith the fragile little humans.

Granted. They are pierced. With unremovable Bush campaign pins.

I wish I knew why being locked in one's house on Dec. 16 would be so wonderful

 

[BlackShanglan]

That's the most corrupt one YET!

*bows*

 

[carsonshepherd]

*bows*

No pudding for you!

 

[lucky-E-leven]

You know ... I think we both just managed to uncorrupt *laugh* I will be gentlewith the fragile little humans.

Granted. They are pierced. With unremovable Bush campaign pins.

I wish I knew why being locked in one's house on Dec. 16 would be so wonderful

Damn! That works for me too. My girlfriend hates 'W' and I love being bitten, so...

Granted, you find out that's the day I fly in to see my girl after a few months apart and being iced in is the perfect excuse for us to stay in bed all day, but the information only teases you because I've promised you exclusive rights to the video, which cannot be received because the FBI installs a web-filter for anything at all pornographic... sooooo close!

I wish quality bondage gear wasn't so expensive as to require a second mortage on my house. (I need a rack!)

 

[BlackShanglan]

I wish quality bondage gear wasn't so expensive as to require a second mortage on my house. (I need a rack!)

Granted! You learn that it can actually be done quite cheaply (as can some very nice floggers), but ti does take a fair bit of time, a few cock-ups, and a dedication to the art of carpentry.

(About half of the collection that has overflowed the footlocker and the closet was made by yours truly. Never underestimate the resourceful pervert.)

I wish I had a subsidy to write porn.

 

[lucky-E-leven]

Granted! You learn that it can actually be done quite cheaply (as can some very nice floggers), but ti does take a fair bit of time, a few cock-ups, and a dedication to the art of carpentry.

(About half of the collection that has overflowed the footlocker and the closet was made by yours truly. Never underestimate the resourceful pervert.)

I wish I had a subsidy to write porn.

I don't have the luxury of time or space to create such fun things, but I am one tenacious bitch and am finding ways around each and every obstacle before me.

Granted, you win Bio-sphere in a contest and are completely self-sufficient without money. But, now all of your time is spent growing your own food, mending/making your own clothes, purifying your own water, etc... No time to write.

I wish Chemistry was easier.