Corrupt Wish

[carsonshepherd]

Granted, but the woman turns out to be Dame Edna, ooh la la.

I wish I had an attractive and sexy man to dance with to this bad 80's pop.

He's attractive and sexy, but he's gay. So all you can do is dance. But he's .... ME, and you know I'm a horrible dancer.

I wish my cell phone got better reception at your house...

 

[Guest]

He's attractive and sexy, but he's gay. So all you can do is dance. But he's .... ME, and you know I'm a horrible dancer.

I wish my cell phone got better reception at your house...

granted: youve better reception at my house, how you got here ive no clue but now that youre here, lets have a party...what do you say?

i wish i could have all the sleep ill ever need in my entire life...in only one night of sleep erm... without dying the next day.

 

[carsonshepherd]

granted: youve better reception at my house, how you got here ive no clue but now that youre here, lets have a party...what do you say?

Sure... just have lots of beer!

i wish i could have all the sleep ill ever need in my entire life...in only one night of sleep erm... without dying the next day.

Granted. You never have to sleep again. And you're so tired, you age at twice the normal rate and soon you're a withered up old hag.

I wish I was impervious to pain.

 

[Guest]

Granted. You never have to sleep again. And you're so tired, you age at twice the normal rate and soon you're a withered up old hag.

I wish I was impervious to pain.

too late baby...

 

[BlackShanglan]

Granted. You never have to sleep again. And you're so tired, you age at twice the normal rate and soon you're a withered up old hag.

I wish I was impervious to pain.

Granted, you're impervious to pain. Total malfunction of the nerves carrying sensory information. Of course, you're impervious to pleasure as well.

I wish I was just pervy No, wait, I am. Ummm ... I wish my puppy was DONE potty training.

 

[carsonshepherd]

Granted, you're impervious to pain. Total malfunction of the nerves carrying sensory information. Of course, you're impervious to pleasure as well.

I wish I was just pervy No, wait, I am. Ummm ... I wish my puppy was DONE potty training.

Granted, she never potties in the house again. Consequently, the other dog takes it up instead!

I wish I had someone to drive me everywhere I wanted to go, without complaining.

 

[BlackShanglan]

Granted, she never potties in the house again. Consequently, the other dog takes it up instead!

I wish I had someone to drive me everywhere I wanted to go, without complaining.

Granted. You do. Unfortunately, neither you nor your chauffer as a *vehicle*, which you didn't wish for.

I wish I had a huge dose of chocolate.

 

[carsonshepherd]

Granted. You do. Unfortunately, neither you nor your chauffer as a *vehicle*, which you didn't wish for.

I wish I had a huge dose of chocolate.

Granted. It is SO huge, it blows your stomach up like a balloon and you can never ever even SMELL chocolate again without getting violently ill.

I wish I had a pony. Not a mean one. How about.... uh, a magical one. One that grants wishes and flies.

 

[Honey123]

Granted. It is SO huge, it blows your stomach up like a balloon and you can never ever even SMELL chocolate again without getting violently ill.

I wish I had a pony. Not a mean one. How about.... uh, a magical one. One that grants wishes and flies.

Grant. But the magical pony/horse is BlackShanglan and he is pissed that you gave him chocolate that blew up his tummy and won't grant any of your wishes (and flies upside down)

I wish I didn't have to work

 

[BlackShanglan]

Grant. But the magical pony/horse is BlackShanglan and he is pissed that you gave him chocolate that blew up his tummy and won't grant any of your wishes (and flies upside down)

I wish I didn't have to work

Hahahahaha. But hey, I'm the winner there - I get to fly, grant wishes, *and* have Carson astride me

Granted, you don't have to work. You're immensely wealthy and can live a life of luxury. Unfortunately, a nasty group of people who also don't want to work kidnap you and hold you for ransom.

 

[OhMissScarlett]

Since Shanglan forgot to wish I'll just throw out a wish.

Hmm, what to wish for?

Oh, I wish the turn signals on my car would start working again dammit!

 

[carsonshepherd]

Since Shanglan forgot to wish I'll just throw out a wish.

Hmm, what to wish for?

Oh, I wish the turn signals on my car would start working again dammit!

Granted but that's the only thing. The electric's okay but the timing is out!

I still wish I had my fucking magical flying wish granting pony!

 

[lucky-E-leven]

Granted but that's the only thing. The electric's okay but the timing is out!

I still wish I had my fucking magical flying wish granting pony!

Granted, but he's such a fucking magical flying wish granting pony that he's too busy making it with all the lady ponies, you never get anything out of him but noise.

I wish spaghetti did not expand in ones tummy after eating it.

 

[OhMissScarlett]

Granted but that's the only thing. The electric's okay but the timing is out!

I still wish I had my fucking magical flying wish granting pony!

Granted, but it corrupts all the wishes it grants.

I wish I had a six pack of beer.

 

[carsonshepherd]

Granted, but it corrupts all the wishes it grants.

I wish I had a six pack of beer.

Granted. But it's Red White and Blue!

I wish I had an unlimited supply of clean laundry.

 

[Guest]

Granted. But it's Red White and Blue!

I wish I had an unlimited supply of clean laundry.

granted: you now have unlimited supply of clean laundry, however the chemicals the dry cleaning store uses to clean your clothes has left you with hideous psoriasis and no amount of cream seems to ease your pain.


i wish i were on survivor.

 

[OhMissScarlett]

Granted. But it's Red White and Blue!

I wish I had an unlimited supply of clean laundry.

Hey, I'm no beer snob.

Granted, but you're allergic to the soap it's washed in and break out in a rash!

 

[OhMissScarlett]

Vella, you're too damn fast for me, woman!

bump to Vella's wish

i wish i were on survivor.

 

[fifty5]

i wish i were on survivor.

Granted. But if 'survivor' is what I think it might be, then that's punishment enough.

I wish I actually knew what 'survivor' is

 

[OhMissScarlett]

Granted. But if 'survivor' is what I think it might be, then that's punishment enough.

I wish I actually knew what 'survivor' is

Granted, but in order to learn you have to watch madatory hours of reality programming and you go insane.

I wish I had a never ending supply of chilled bottled water.

 

[fifty5]

Granted, but in order to learn you have to watch madatory hours of reality programming and you go insane.

I wish I had a never ending supply of chilled bottled water.

Granted, but you never get to drink any, 'cos I'm your butler - and I'm going insane watching (sur)reality TV instead of serving your drinks.

I wish 'reality TV' hadn't been invented.

 

[Honey123]

Granted, but you never get to drink any, 'cos I'm your butler - and I'm going insane watching (sur)reality TV instead of serving your drinks.

I wish 'reality TV' hadn't been invented.

Granted, but all of the has-been actors from Surreal Life come to live with you.

I wish I had a record deal.

 

[Evil Alpaca]

I wish that the shorts worn by volleyball players were just a little shorter.

 

[Guest]

I wish that the shorts worn by volleyball players were just a little shorter.

granted, however because the shorts are shoter, the circulation male soccer players used to have is now cut in half, leaving many sperm to die an untimely death...they all become sterile...

are you happy now?


i wish i could decide wheather or not i wanted almond joy or mounds

 

[Belegon]

i wish i could decide wheather or not i wanted almond joy or mounds

granted, but now you are angry with yourself for cutting your choices by 50%...and you just met someone who tempts you to open your mind again.

I wish I could be just a little less dense on occassion and pickup on a fucking clue for once...