Dear X

[RedHairedandFriendly]

Dear last little toy -

You try so hard, don't you - but you are so small and your power is going out, and even if I put a new battery in you, you are still - sadly - such a small little vibrating toy. It's nice you can sit on my keyring and I can pull you out if necessary and it is funny of you to include a glow-in-the-dark green light to light the way of those that may get lost. . . but this Friday I will make a decision regarding our relationship. You will not be thrown away, not yet, you do work, though I know it is a struggle. You may however retire for a while, just until whatever comes into my life breaks and you are called upon again.

Who would have ever thought, the last surviving toy from a surprise gift bag at a Lit-together would be the one to champion the cause.

Thank you.

~ Red

 

[papadoc19]

Dear underperforming team

Please do not let me down this weekend. You are the better team...most of your past troubles have been mental not physical. If you won't do it for me, then do it for a coach that everyone says is a nice guy because if you don't he will be gone.

A suffering fan

 

[IhateClowns]

Dear inventor,

I just want to thank you for inventing your product. It has made things much simpler for me. Prior to your use I would spend a long time making sure everything was wiped up properly. Whether it was different yoga positions or eventually just saying fuck it and hopping in the shower. In actuality you have saved my family money by reducing our water bill.

Wet wipes you are the best. I used to think you were available only in those ridiculously tiny packs from KFC or a buffalo wing place. Strictly used for wiping hands and mouth. Of course my hands were greasy from the chicken so I am unsure whose cruel joke it was to put you in such a pain in the ass package to open but none the less once you were you did your job admirably.

I also thought you were only for babies but damn if you don't work well on my heiny. No more half rolls of tp. No more fuck its and hopping in the shower. I now look forward to my BM's because I know I will feel cleaner after then before. As a matter of fact I hear you calling to me now.

Its grunt time.....

 

[Sensualdreamer]

Dear asshole I'm legally married to & stbx

There was a time when I stood behind you and did everything I could to help you succeed in life. I saw something in you that you didn't see in yourself. Eventually I realised it didn't matter what I believed you were capable of b/c you never believed in yourself. There were many dreams of mine that I shelved just so I could "keep the peace" w/ you and meanwhile as each dream of mine faded, a part of me died.
How dare you complain to me that I don't have a "job". There were many GOOD paying jobs that I resigned from in order to follow you around in your military service. After your military service was up, you were "hand walked" into the job you have now! Meanwhile I'm just like most Americans and I'm applying for the same damn jobs as everyone else...hoping at best for the job, and at least an interview.
You don't give a damn about the stress that you've caused in my life b/c of your financial ineptness. I HATE that you try to blame me for your shortcomings & failures instead of taking responsibility for your own actions. It's funny how the ONLY time you're nice to me is when you want me to do something for you. The pathetic part is that I always help you out to keep you from behaving like a damn spoiled brat, and you never learn a damn thing.
You act as tho I do nothing to contribute and the truth of the matter is that I do so damn much you wouldn't even begin to know . When was the last time you went grocery shopping, when was the last time you took the vehicle to get the oil changed, when was the last time you vacuumed the living room, dining room, bedroom, and hallway floors, when was the last time that you cooked dinner, when was the last time you cleaned the kitchen -sweeping/vacuuming/mopping the floor, sanitizing the counters, loading the dishwasher, emptying the dishwasher, taking out the trash, when was the last time you cleaned a bathroom -sweeping/vacuuming/mopping the floors, scrubbing the toilet, scrubbing the bathtub, and cleaning the mirrors, when was the last time that you reconciled a bank account, when was the last time you paid the bills, when was the last time you organised a pantry, planned a menu, and clipped coupons in order to maximise the savings and reduce the grocery bill, when was the last time you cleaned out a fridge or freezer (and not b/c you were raiding it b/c you were hungry), when was the last time you dusted and polished any of the wood furniture, when was the last time that you sorted the laundry, washed the laundry, folded the laundry, and pressed any clothes, when was the last time you made a bed, and that's JUST for starters....and the answer you would have to admit is "never" - that's right you've NEVER done any of that, it's always fallen on me to do all that (and THEN SOME).
You are an adult, and yet you are a lazy slob and your slovenly ways create MORE work for me on a daily basis. A house that SHOULD be reasonably clean every day you tend to destroy in a mere matter of minutes after you walk in the door. I'm tired of cleaning up after you! You want to know why I'm frustrated, it's b/c of you! You have failed in SO many ways to treat me like I'm special to you. You tend to have a mindset that I'm a free live in "maid". There have been many things that have been done to create the fracture in our marriage - and while there was a time where I was willing to forgive you, I'm not any more. I'm tired of how you treat me.
You whine and complain that I don't help you with the bills, well dear who do you expect to help you when we split - your mommy & daddy You want ME to deal w/ the companies when you've got financial related questions, well why don't you learn to do it - you'll have to once we split. You tell me that it's MY fault that you have the financial woes that you have...well honey those are the credit cards YOU chose to open w/o MY knowing -it's not MY name, and I didn't make any purchases YOU did that!!! Funny how you'll blame ME for this issue, but yet your OWN FATHER who committed an act of fraud by opening up a credit card in YOUR name (and you don't have the credit card for) you refuse to do a damn thing about! You're a fucking pathetic excuse of a man
It's a slap in my face that I cook for you and you have the nerve to go out to eat and waste additional money It's an added burden that you cause when you refuse to put your dirty laundry in the laundry hamper and instead I've got to go around the house looking for your dirty clothes-otherwise you complain when you don't have clean clothes. It's a source of irritation for me that you will eat in the living room and leave food crumbs on the floor and on the couch when you know that I had JUST cleaned & vacuumed, and you don't give a damn.
These are just "little" things and don't begin to cover the other issues. The thing w/ me that you have always known is that all I ever wanted from you was to be loved & appreciated for what I did for you. I never asked for a fancy car, designer label clothing, jewelry, lavish vacations, a mansion, etc., I simply wanted to be loved & appreciated and you failed to show it.

~I know my value and you're not worth it...

 

[behindthewheel]

Dear hiding in the shadows.....

Get yourself an alarm clock......

 

[tekgirl]

Dear Steelers Fan,

Even though you are no longer here I hope you have a good Halloween and that things are going well for you and yours.

I know I'm doing this in vain hoping, but perhaps you'll see it someday. I do think of you still and hope you are happy.

Take care,

Tekgirl

 

[RedHairedandFriendly]

Dear Litster,

I wish I had oodles of oodles of time on my hand, and minutes on my phone and re-hydrating supplies near by, because I think I'd want to talk to you, hear your voice, chat and tell you how special you are, and then well other things would probably happen, so I guess it is best I don't have all those things mentioned above, right?

Red.

 

[NorthernPA4U]

Dear Steelers Fan,

Even though you are no longer here I hope you have a good Halloween and that things are going well for you and yours.

I know I'm doing this in vain hoping, but perhaps you'll see it someday. I do think of you still and hope you are happy.

Take care,

Tekgirl

I know you are a Pats fan ... maybe you could wait until the first weekend of November to wish Steelers Fan a bit of happiness.

 

[SweetMystery]

Dear Electric Company,

Please...please keep the power on tonight. I know it was raining last night...but there wasn't even any lightning out there! I do appreciate you coming back on before I went to bed, but I really would've liked to see the end of that game!

Tonight, just in case, I will make sure that the batteries on my laptop and my phone are both charged. At least that way, the internet will be available should you decide to cut out at a crucial point...again.

Sincerely,

Enjoying-the-Replays Litster

 

[HoHoBomb]

Happy Birthday.

 

[Treasured]

Dear sitting behind the wheel litster,

If you'd give me a wake up call I would be up and ready to go.

Also I hear Chicago is beautiful in the spring.

 

[behindthewheel]

Dear counting sheep litser

Obviously the shaking of your hands had caused excessive chemicals to your brain and you found yourself in a REM moment!
How much prodding do you need?

Spring always looks good from a hotel window..........

 

[Treasured]

Dear hotel peeking litster,

Have you never been a little late before? The excessive chemicals are the blonde highlights
So I don't look like a gray haired hag in Chicago.

Have you ever thought you were prodding in the wrong spot?

Sleeping blonde litster

 

[behindthewheel]

Dear totally unfashionably late

My timing has always been good as you have witnessed!

OMG...... and I thought it was natural
You wouldnt there or in London....

Another thing I got wrong..... thought you liked been prodded there

Clocking the miles litser

 

[sxy_bi_horny_chick]

Dear Ex,

I'm sorry I can't stop loving you right now. I'm sorry I can't hate you though you seem to try to get me to rather often. I can't help how I feel and though I'm trying really hard to be a friend, it's not easy.

~Still Heart Broken

 

[Azuldrgon]

Dear Ex,

I'm sorry I can't stop loving you right now. I'm sorry I can't hate you though you seem to try to get me to rather often. I can't help how I feel and though I'm trying really hard to be a friend, it's not easy.

~Still Heart Broken

Dear Still Heart Broken:

I'm sorry it hurts.

Me.

 

[Treasured]

Dear clocking the Miles Litster,

Do you need new glasses? You know the drapes are a shade lighter than the carpet.

Your timing has always been perfect. I don't know how you always know when I need your shoulder and other bits.


You are never wrong, sometimes you just don't prod hard enough.

LYTTMABA
Home decorating Litster.

 

[sxy_bi_horny_chick]

Dear Lit,

Though you've been rather slow today, I had fun. Now I must take a nap before I land face first into the keyboard. I'll shall be back in a few hours to see if you've perked up a bit.

~Bed's Calling

 

[behindthewheel]

Dear home decorator

Nothing wrong with my eyes, I appreciate the drapes and the carpet. About time I had a visit and checked the fixture and fittings.

I do tend to have a sixth sense........ the timing is going to be good today!!!

I am a man...... men are never wrong

I am always prodding hard ......

The Prodder

 

[Treasured]

Dear my sexy prodder litster,

You can check all the extra hardware out later. I promise you. Right now I have a date with the littlest K to dinner and the movies.

If you send me messages I have my phone on vibrate.

Waiting for my first txt litster

 

[Aurantica]

"Dear" B:
I'm not going to forgive you. You've fucked up too many times for that. Whatever goes on at work you have a nice long drive home to get rid of it. Grow up.

 

[Zoe_A_2222]

Dear hot headed tosser that plays for my team,

Keep your shit together against your old team.

Signed, not a fan of yours.

 

[o_so_wet]

Dear X x2,

I would tell you both this in person, but my voice isn't as loud or cutting as yours...yet....and experience as shown me you'd cast aside what I have to say in favor of your own misguided sense of rightousness.

I cannot remember a time that you didn't criticize me. Or a time that you didn't yell at me. Do you realize how sharp the tone of your voice is when you're yelling..or how loud? When I tell you that you're hurting my ears..I mean it literally.

We've spent so many years thousands of miles apart..I think that's why we were able to keep a relationship. When you complained to me about Liz being so distant, I always thought she was disloyal. You raised us with a sense of loyalty to family.. you - especially you dad - drilled that into our heads. Now I'm here and I realize the dynamic of your relationship with Liz. I've fought that growing distance for almost two years now. No more.

What fucking sucks..the salt rubbed in the wound..is that I have to verbalize this here...anonomously...because if I told you in person you wouldn't even fight to change it. Like always, it would end up being my fault.

Not wanting to turn out like you,
Your daughter,
A.

 

[kendra1980]

Dear X,

It is your birthday today and while I don't understand this in myself, I feel so sorry for you. You are now alone and that would be by your own choice. I guess I should feel it is your choice so something that makes you happy and yet I know it is not so.

I hope someone makes a little fuss over you.

Happy Birthday.




Dear Y,

I know our schedules conflict but I am beginning to think this is a one way deal...and I am beginning to think I'm going to stop trying. When one person is doing all the work in a friendship, it is time to re evaluate the thing.

Reevaluating



Dear Z,

Nat and I have thought about this a lot. What's your deal? Manic is the term that comes to mind. Needy would be the second. Let go....that's some good advice from your not so good buddy K.

*big eyeroll here*

 

[Juicybicuriouslady]

Dear selfish spoilt brat

FYI... you didn't manage to ruin my evening, but you did piss me off and it won't be forgotten for a long while yet... you REALLY overstepped the mark this time.

me that still had a great evening.