Dear X

[tiedtits4me]

Dear soon to be ex but i can't tell you because i have to keep playing the game as per the police ladies request,

You are a dumb ass. A lying cheating idiot.
If you are going to lie to me don't open your email in front of me and have emails from a site called f-buddies.
I am not stupid, all that made me do is check browser history and wow look at what i find.

Ohh but wait there's more.

Just because you hit delete it does not mean the file is forever gone from your computer.
Just a hint there's a recycle bin and when i went in there to empty it because your stupid computer kept telling me it had no room, well look at that not only do i find beastiality porn but ohh no wait there's more....kid porn.

The police and I had a loverly chat yesterday after i found all that.
They are expected at your door........well an minute now i was told.
Enjoy your chat with the police.

Sincerely your ex-girlfriend who thanks god she found that early on in the peice and who knows right from wrong and can look up the number for the police because you are just wrong so damn wrong.


I wish to god i was making this up.

 

[JennyNo1]

Dear employers who think you're bigger than God....
Who the bloody hell makes someone sell their house and move over the holidays??????
This had better be worth it Litster

 

[sereneone4u]

Dear UPS men,

What kind of fucking rude ass idiots are you? Yes I want you to put the medical supplies inside the door of my house. Triple 24 packs of Pediasure are heavy and I am a girl without a dolly, you dipwads. Then you pitch a bitch fit because I have a dog? Really? His name is Happy and he is laying behind me wagging his tail at you...don't ask me if he bites and then when I tell you, no unless you try to attack me and then run your sarcastic mouth about all the dog attacks on the internet. Bitches, please...you need to worry about my bite, not my damn dogs. For years, UPS men have delivered supplies to my house and none of them have been little punk bitches like you.

 

[EnglishRoseFox]

Dear Parents that drag their children into supermarkets just to shout at them when you know full well how bored they are going to be

Here's a novel idea.

a) Go to the supermarket while they are at school/with a sitter/other parent

b) Instead of screaming at them for their bad behaviour or letting them run riot, how about you put a little effort into making it interesting for them with item hunts and the promise of a reward at the end.

c) Start teaching your children some manners and yourself some self control

Cannot believe I have turned into my father but also cannot believe how little common sense some parents have, and how cruel and lazy they are, Rosie

 

[SmileyGirl]

Dear X
For the first time I can actually thank you for cheating. She was definitely worth it seeing as you've moved in together got engaged and a baby on the way just as you turn 20!!
Funny how things turn out that you were supposed to be the one going to the posh uni and moving on with life the clever one the one destined for better things whereas me I was always in the background behind you not the supposed clever one Just shows what determination can do though while you're changing nappies and making baby formula milk and making another baby no doubt I'll be graduating with my degree from Uni.Yeh who would have thought it.
I've never been so relieved not to be her. For so long I wondered what did I do wrong but I think I finally realise that I didn't do anything wrong we just wanted different things from life and I can honestly say I am so glad I'm not her but I do wish you both all the luck in the world.

 

[EnglishRoseFox]

Dear X
For the first time I can actually thank you for cheating. She was definitely worth it seeing as you've moved in together got engaged and a baby on the way just as you turn 20!!
Funny how things turn out that you were supposed to be the one going to the posh uni and moving on with life the clever one the one destined for better things whereas me I was always in the background behind you not the supposed clever one Just shows what determination can do though while you're changing nappies and making baby formula milk and making another baby no doubt I'll be graduating with my degree from Uni.Yeh who would have thought it.
I've never been so relieved not to be her. For so long I wondered what did I do wrong but I think I finally realise that I didn't do anything wrong we just wanted different things from life and I can honestly say I am so glad I'm not her but I do wish you both all the luck in the world.

She shoots, she scores!!!

You so won!

 

[fungatorgurl101]

Dear Cell phone provider -

OKAY so the replacement phone you sent me that was worse than the first one yeah that was annoying... the NEW phone you sent me to REPLACE THAT ONE with no Battery or Battery back that was just funny. I get it NOW you're just playing tricks on me to see how long I can take it. JOKES on you customer service reps... I do your job and I have all your names, operator ID's and plenty of notes and apparently NO life cause yes OH YES I Will be writing a very long pointed letter to the complaint department cause well I can. And it may not go anywhere but fuck I will feel better

Sincerely,
STILL PLAYING Litster

Dear Cell Phone Provider -

SO far I am a happy Gator Gurl! Getting used to the new format but at least I got a Battery and Battery Back and the phone has been working since. Let's see if it continues. Still working on that letter though I pay too much good money monthly to deal with what has taken place along the way!

Sincerely,
Lil Happier Litster

 

[kendra1980]

Dear Person Who Shall Remain Anonymous,

What you said hurt me briefly. What you do, hurts me less and less. It is getting easier and easier to let you go. I find that somewhat sad, but you leave me no choice.

The people who love you most are confused by your attitude. I've always told you attitude is a choice, the one you have chosen is not a good one. You could choose another before irreperable harm is done, but as is your wont, you will hold on to anger and blow it out of proportion.

I am sorry for whatever has made you so angry, so sad, so full of vitriol...but note...it made YOU that way, YOU let it.

Think about that.

 

[IhateClowns]

Dear Exterior Electrical Engineer Neighbor,

I enjoyed our conversation yesterday, but I apologize I don't share your enthusiasm about hangin little blinking lights all over my house for a month. The fact that you spent a lot of money on lights and essentially blow up dolls to decorate your house with is way more then I will do this year. Sure I will begrudgingly put up lights. Cuss loudly every time the lights twist into a know while I am dangling perilously off the 3rd rung of the ladder.

I just don't share that enthusiasm. I dont mind dragging out the tree. I don't mind decorating it. I don't mind hanging te stocking and decoratin the house. I just like feeling obligated to throw up some lights on the house only to have them drown out because of the spectacle that your house is inevitably going to look like.

Also I don't agree that you started this decorating chore this past weekend. What happened to Thanksgiving? Shouldn't there be a law string you can't put your hit out until after you have gnawed on your dry over cooked turkey? Let's get through one holliday before starting the celebration of another. Also I don't think Christ had it in mind to have a blown up Santa in boogie shorts surfing on the roof of a house when it comes to celebrating his birthday. We live in OKC there are no palm trees and the closest thing we have to Hawaii is a Tommy Bahama clothing section at the Bass Pro Shop downtown.

You are a one-upper. If someone around you buys something you get a better one. If someone decorates their house you damn well make sure you have 1000 more decorations then them. I find that funny to me. I could give a fuck if you want your house to resemble Clark Griswolds I will take the hour time I need to string up my lights. Just enough to where my wife thinks it is sufficient and ten I will go inside ad watch TV while you spend countless hours trying to figure out why Rudolph's nose won't blink while his head turns creepily from side to side.

Ho Ho Ho Fucker

 

[goodgurlgetsbad]

Dear Exterior Electrical Engineer Neighbor,

I enjoyed our conversation yesterday, but I apologize I don't share your enthusiasm about hangin little blinking lights all over my house for a month. The fact that you spent a lot of money on lights and essentially blow up dolls to decorate your house with is way more then I will do this year. Sure I will begrudgingly put up lights. Cuss loudly every time the lights twist into a know while I am dangling perilously off the 3rd rung of the ladder.

I just don't share that enthusiasm. I dont mind dragging out the tree. I don't mind decorating it. I don't mind hanging te stocking and decoratin the house. I just like feeling obligated to throw up some lights on the house only to have them drown out because of the spectacle that your house is inevitably going to look like.

Also I don't agree that you started this decorating chore this past weekend. What happened to Thanksgiving? Shouldn't there be a law string you can't put your hit out until after you have gnawed on your dry over cooked turkey? Let's get through one holliday before starting the celebration of another. Also I don't think Christ had it in mind to have a blown up Santa in boogie shorts surfing on the roof of a house when it comes to celebrating his birthday. We live in OKC there are no palm trees and the closest thing we have to Hawaii is a Tommy Bahama clothing section at the Bass Pro Shop downtown.

You are a one-upper. If someone around you buys something you get a better one. If someone decorates their house you damn well make sure you have 1000 more decorations then them. I find that funny to me. I could give a fuck if you want your house to resemble Clark Griswolds I will take the hour time I need to string up my lights. Just enough to where my wife thinks it is sufficient and ten I will go inside ad watch TV while you spend countless hours trying to figure out why Rudolph's nose won't blink while his head turns creepily from side to side.

Ho Ho Ho Fucker

BWAHAHA you're hilarious

 

[Wings27]

Dear Soon-To-Be-Ex Boss,

I see you're running scared. It's almost worth waiting out the end of the year just to watch you try to grovel while attempting to hold on to your superior attitude. I know you followed me to my other job last night. I know you saw me punch inthe security code to get in and how people were greeting me warmly. I know you're smart enough to put two and two together and almost get 4. If you think you're going to make this difficult for me, you have another think coming. I will not be cowed by your piss poor attempts at swiping at my esteem. Better men than you have tried and failed. I will not be held down by this.

And I will not let you hug me again. You try one more time and you not only will meet with my elbow in your solar plexus but I will inform HR that you're being inappropriate and I will bring you down before I planned to.

You think you're running scared now, just wait until I'm done with you.

Signed,
Smarter Than You Will Ever Be And I Don't Have A Penis.

 

[Goodgirl4him]

dear ornery crotchety neighbor,

really? now you look even more like a whiny old man. get a hobby dude. seriously.

 

[WakoJako]

Dear Cat.

Please stop trying to headbutt my lunch. I dont want your fur in my sandwich.

Your Feeder

 

[Goodgirl4him]

Dear Cat.

Please stop trying to headbutt my lunch. I dont want your fur in my sandwich.

Your Feeder

omg thats awesome! yeah what he said!

 

[IhateClowns]

Dear Mall Cologne and Perfume Sprayer,

I think you should go to high schools to speak as an advocate for staying in school an getting your degree. You folks are almost as annoying as those people in the kiosks that are tryin to sell you magnet therapy or bath salts, but hey at least when they go home they don't smell like a French whore house.

When I go to the mall to buy something I shouldn't have I pretend to be on the phone as I get closer to you, stare straight down at my show laces and pray somehow we don't make eye contact. Which interview question did you fun up that gave them the idea you couldn't be rusted to be behind the counter?

Oh I get it. You are a people person and you wanted this job. You like re idea of getting 20% off of your own products by begging folks to let you spritz ten with the newest Paris Hilton wanna smell like a skank scent. I get that. Makes sense to me. I love watching you from afar. That determined look of I am gonna spritz someone and make them smell beautiful face. All to have it shattered over and over by those folks who just want to get a orange Julius and get the fuck away from you. You head turning in multiple directions like Linda Blair scouring the scene looking for anyone wiling to make eye contact giving you that "in" you do desperately need and want.

How does your boss tell if you are doing a good job? Is it the amount of smell juice you squirt on folks or is it the amount of sales made off of said smell juice? Either way I guess I should be happy you have a job. I mean it could be worse. You could b a mall cop screaming at kids "Stop! Or I will say stop again!". Or one of the circus clowns trying to get you to buy one of their corn dogs down in the food court.

So I suppose I should stop complaining and let you spritz me with new newest scent that is supposed to get the ladies ravenous. You have a job unlike a lot of folks. Them again I would almost rather give the guy a dollar on the street corner then take the chance of engulfing the wafting scent of Paris Hilton's twat as you stink up the store.

Stay in school kids

 

[Sensualdreamer]

Dear Exterior Electrical Engineer Neighbor,

I enjoyed our conversation yesterday, but I apologize I don't share your enthusiasm about hangin little blinking lights all over my house for a month. The fact that you spent a lot of money on lights and essentially blow up dolls to decorate your house with is way more then I will do this year. Sure I will begrudgingly put up lights. Cuss loudly every time the lights twist into a know while I am dangling perilously off the 3rd rung of the ladder.

I just don't share that enthusiasm. I dont mind dragging out the tree. I don't mind decorating it. I don't mind hanging te stocking and decoratin the house. I just like feeling obligated to throw up some lights on the house only to have them drown out because of the spectacle that your house is inevitably going to look like.

Also I don't agree that you started this decorating chore this past weekend. What happened to Thanksgiving? Shouldn't there be a law string you can't put your hit out until after you have gnawed on your dry over cooked turkey? Let's get through one holliday before starting the celebration of another. Also I don't think Christ had it in mind to have a blown up Santa in boogie shorts surfing on the roof of a house when it comes to celebrating his birthday. We live in OKC there are no palm trees and the closest thing we have to Hawaii is a Tommy Bahama clothing section at the Bass Pro Shop downtown.

You are a one-upper. If someone around you buys something you get a better one. If someone decorates their house you damn well make sure you have 1000 more decorations then them. I find that funny to me. I could give a fuck if you want your house to resemble Clark Griswolds I will take the hour time I need to string up my lights. Just enough to where my wife thinks it is sufficient and ten I will go inside ad watch TV while you spend countless hours trying to figure out why Rudolph's nose won't blink while his head turns creepily from side to side.

Ho Ho Ho Fucker

Thank you for the laugh

 

[Coventina]

Dear Stroppy

You are getting very boring now, who knew the guy with the wicked sense of humour was just a grumpy sulky kid in disguise....... go and play with the traffic or something.

The Happy One (now I got rid of you)

 

[janeyl]

Dear Stinky People in the supermarket tonight,

Dove soap is half price right now...I'm only shopping in Morrisons for the petrol vouchers and if it's full of stinky people like you, I won't be back...and why did you seem to follow me around?

Fragrant that comes from being clean shopper

 

[TheSilverLining]

Dear X,

*ahem*
You should have been a blowjob.

(well aware of the childish nature of this, especially given that I have 'liberated' it from the faceache of a teenage girl; But tickled by it none the less)

Alice the poison-dwarf.

 

[Brave Maximus]

Dear God,

I know we don't talk much. It's also strange to talk to you on a site like this. But I figure, if all other options are exausted, go with what you've got. You need to pay more attention. Not just for me (though, that would be nice) - there are a lot of people who need help. More than that, they need hope. I don't know if you noticed (or care) - but the other side is winning. By a lot.

Me personally - If there's some sort of ineffable plan - care to let me in on it. Or is this a bit of perverse fun? Stop having so much faith in me. You might think I can handle the load, but at the moment, my legs are giving out. But more than anything else, my seemingly (at one point) inexaustable supply of faith is running out. I need hope, and lately, there isn't much.

Or... to quote:

Fine! The gloves are off pal! C'mon, lemme see a little wrath! Smite me, O mighty smiter! You're the one who should be fired! The only one around here not doing his job is You! ANSWER ME!!!

Sincerely
The guy sitting at his computer, worried so much he's... well you know
On the corner of a small, rather insignifigant planet
3rd out from a rather unimpressive yellow star
on the arm a rather tiny galaxy
at the far end of everything...


(PS. Yes... I get the sense of humour... smart ass...)



If I offend anyone sorry....

 

[TheSilverLining]

To the Litster above me.



That is all.... x

 

[sereneone4u]

Dear God,

I know we don't talk much. It's also strange to talk to you on a site like this. But I figure, if all other options are exausted, go with what you've got. You need to pay more attention. Not just for me (though, that would be nice) - there are a lot of people who need help. More than that, they need hope. I don't know if you noticed (or care) - but the other side is winning. By a lot.

Me personally - If there's some sort of ineffable plan - care to let me in on it. Or is this a bit of perverse fun? Stop having so much faith in me. You might think I can handle the load, but at the moment, my legs are giving out. But more than anything else, my seemingly (at one point) inexaustable supply of faith is running out. I need hope, and lately, there isn't much.

Or... to quote:



Sincerely
The guy sitting at his computer, worried so much he's... well you know
On the corner of a small, rather insignifigant planet
3rd out from a rather unimpressive yellow star
on the arm a rather tiny galaxy
at the far end of everything...


(PS. Yes... I get the sense of humour... smart ass...)



If I offend anyone sorry....

Dear God,

Ditto!

HUGS Brave Maximus

 

[lakesailer_mi]

Dear God,

I know we don't talk much. It's also strange to talk to you on a site like this. But I figure, if all other options are exausted, go with what you've got. You need to pay more attention. Not just for me (though, that would be nice) - there are a lot of people who need help. More than that, they need hope. I don't know if you noticed (or care) - but the other side is winning. By a lot.

Me personally - If there's some sort of ineffable plan - care to let me in on it. Or is this a bit of perverse fun? Stop having so much faith in me. You might think I can handle the load, but at the moment, my legs are giving out. But more than anything else, my seemingly (at one point) inexaustable supply of faith is running out. I need hope, and lately, there isn't much.

Or... to quote:



Sincerely
The guy sitting at his computer, worried so much he's... well you know
On the corner of a small, rather insignifigant planet
3rd out from a rather unimpressive yellow star
on the arm a rather tiny galaxy
at the far end of everything...


(PS. Yes... I get the sense of humour... smart ass...)



If I offend anyone sorry....

Dear guy sitting in the wilderness,

God doesn't talk with me much either. One thing I have come to realize though, is that God actually is here among us every day. I'm not sure there is really a "plan." But we have the tools, because we have the one special thing God gave us: love.

I see God in Serene and Silver lining and every other person on this site that has hugged - even if only electronically - someone who is hurting. I see God in you, that you care, that you love, that you hurt. I see God in out in the world when someone loves someone else.

The plan is simple: if we love one another, we can fix any problem. And I'm afraid you may be right, that the bad guys sometimes win. But they only win when we stop loving.

Signed,

Trying his damnest to love one another, and following the examples I see here and everywhere.

and PS...this isn't an odd place to find that. Jesus found it among the prostitutes, tax collectors and lepers. The outcasts of his society.

 

[sereneone4u]

Dear guy sitting in the wilderness,

God doesn't talk with me much either. One thing I have come to realize though, is that God actually is here among us every day. I'm not sure there is really a "plan." But we have the tools, because we have the one special thing God gave us: love.

I see God in Serene and Silver lining and every other person on this site that has hugged - even if only electronically - someone who is hurting. I see God in you, that you care, that you love, that you hurt. I see God in out in the world when someone loves someone else.

The plan is simple: if we love one another, we can fix any problem. And I'm afraid you may be right, that the bad guys sometimes win. But they only win when we stop loving.

Signed,

Trying his damnest to love one another, and following the examples I see here and everywhere.

and PS...this isn't an odd place to find that. Jesus found it among the prostitutes, tax collectors and lepers. The outcasts of his society.

So much WORD there, laker....(as in you speak the truth, I agree with you)

 

[lakesailer_mi]

So much WORD there, laker....(as in you speak the truth, I agree with you)

Thanks...*shrug* I either have it right or I'm deluding myself. If you know, please don't burst my bubble...

BTW...Max....I really love the Bruce quote too!