Dear X

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Dear Robe Man:

Hey -- you are a good neighbor and all that but -- when you first approached me about this Saturday and watching the semi-final games of the NCAA tournament -- well -- I understood that you and a half-dozen of your friends were going to gather at YOUR house. Now that this little misunderstanding is clarified -- How the hell is it that my house suddenly became an extension of YOUR house? Now it seems I've got a half-dozen uninvited guests (uninvited by ME anyway) plus YOU coming over to watch my TV and dirty the place up. WTF DUDE.

I mean as it is -- I have to scramble back from the volleyball tournament so I can be here when the "guests" arrive. Nice work Robe. Gee I wish you could figure out a way to buy your own damn TV -- I know the wife doesn't like it when you have guys over to watch sports. Well guess what? I am ok with it from time to time but the point at which MY CASA became SU CASA is just not clear to me.

Thanks BTW for allowing me to NOT have you over TONIGHT as you suggested. Good God man -- WE are not married. I am not married. YOU ARE and I am sorry your wife doesn't let you play with the boys often enough - but that does not make me your surrogate or gatekeeper to PAR-TAY.

Thanks for allowing me to simply supply more beer and have others bring other stuff. Geez that was decent of you. When I start receiving your mail here -- you know the adult toy catalogs -- that will be the last straw though.

Your neighbor.


Holy Hell! Really!?!?
 
Dear Robe Man:

Hey -- you are a good neighbor and all that but -- when you first approached me about this Saturday and watching the semi-final games of the NCAA tournament -- well -- I understood that you and a half-dozen of your friends were going to gather at YOUR house. Now that this little misunderstanding is clarified -- How the hell is it that my house suddenly became an extension of YOUR house? Now it seems I've got a half-dozen uninvited guests (uninvited by ME anyway) plus YOU coming over to watch my TV and dirty the place up. WTF DUDE.

I mean as it is -- I have to scramble back from the volleyball tournament so I can be here when the "guests" arrive. Nice work Robe. Gee I wish you could figure out a way to buy your own damn TV -- I know the wife doesn't like it when you have guys over to watch sports. Well guess what? I am ok with it from time to time but the point at which MY CASA became SU CASA is just not clear to me.

Thanks BTW for allowing me to NOT have you over TONIGHT as you suggested. Good God man -- WE are not married. I am not married. YOU ARE and I am sorry your wife doesn't let you play with the boys often enough - but that does not make me your surrogate or gatekeeper to PAR-TAY.

Thanks for allowing me to simply supply more beer and have others bring other stuff. Geez that was decent of you. When I start receiving your mail here -- you know the adult toy catalogs -- that will be the last straw though.

Your neighbor.


I have a sister in law like this decides to have all these great parties and then all of a sudden your hosting ummm HUH ?! SO I have started just saying let's do it at a restaurant so MY suggestion to you take it to a Sports Bar and watch it there MUCH more fun to watch it in a crowd TOO!
 
Dear Internet Service Provider,

Of course you had issues billing me, ummm.... you're not supposed to bill me until the 30th of each month. Are you using a Mayan calender and the 26 somehow is now the 30th?

So believe me, when I make that phone call tomorrow and you try to tell me I have to pay an additional $5.00 because the money wasn't in my account when you sent the bill and ummm... you sent it early, you will discover I won't be giving you $5.00.

You're easily replaceable, remember --- no contract. ;)

From

For the most part a happy customer, let's keep it that way.
 
Dear Robe Man:

Hey -- you are a good neighbor and all that but -- when you first approached me about this Saturday and watching the semi-final games of the NCAA tournament -- well -- I understood that you and a half-dozen of your friends were going to gather at YOUR house. Now that this little misunderstanding is clarified -- How the hell is it that my house suddenly became an extension of YOUR house? Now it seems I've got a half-dozen uninvited guests (uninvited by ME anyway) plus YOU coming over to watch my TV and dirty the place up. WTF DUDE.

I mean as it is -- I have to scramble back from the volleyball tournament so I can be here when the "guests" arrive. Nice work Robe. Gee I wish you could figure out a way to buy your own damn TV -- I know the wife doesn't like it when you have guys over to watch sports. Well guess what? I am ok with it from time to time but the point at which MY CASA became SU CASA is just not clear to me.

Thanks BTW for allowing me to NOT have you over TONIGHT as you suggested. Good God man -- WE are not married. I am not married. YOU ARE and I am sorry your wife doesn't let you play with the boys often enough - but that does not make me your surrogate or gatekeeper to PAR-TAY.

Thanks for allowing me to simply supply more beer and have others bring other stuff. Geez that was decent of you. When I start receiving your mail here -- you know the adult toy catalogs -- that will be the last straw though.

Your neighbor.



Need a caterer ? :)
 
Dear Robe Man:

Hey -- you are a good neighbor and all that but -- when you first approached me about this Saturday and watching the semi-final games of the NCAA tournament -- well -- I understood that you and a half-dozen of your friends were going to gather at YOUR house. Now that this little misunderstanding is clarified -- How the hell is it that my house suddenly became an extension of YOUR house? Now it seems I've got a half-dozen uninvited guests (uninvited by ME anyway) plus YOU coming over to watch my TV and dirty the place up. WTF DUDE.

I mean as it is -- I have to scramble back from the volleyball tournament so I can be here when the "guests" arrive. Nice work Robe. Gee I wish you could figure out a way to buy your own damn TV -- I know the wife doesn't like it when you have guys over to watch sports. Well guess what? I am ok with it from time to time but the point at which MY CASA became SU CASA is just not clear to me.

Thanks BTW for allowing me to NOT have you over TONIGHT as you suggested. Good God man -- WE are not married. I am not married. YOU ARE and I am sorry your wife doesn't let you play with the boys often enough - but that does not make me your surrogate or gatekeeper to PAR-TAY.

Thanks for allowing me to simply supply more beer and have others bring other stuff. Geez that was decent of you. When I start receiving your mail here -- you know the adult toy catalogs -- that will be the last straw though.

Your neighbor.


Flea infestation...just sayin'...;)
 
Dear sleep,

Why have you forsaken me? What did I do to make you feel unwanted? Please come back to me, please give me some relief to these thoughts racing in my mind.

Please. I beg you.

Tired Me
 
Dear iPhones (both of you) lying dormant in my junk drawer,

I think I've found a user for at least one of you.

Hope you get back to work soon.

~ Your soon to be former owner.
 
Dear Other half,

Are you only happy when you complain? :rolleyes:

Oh and thanks so much for the 5 minutes of lackluster sex.........good thing I am a great faker. :rolleyes: :cool:

Signed,
The one who has to live with you and puts up with you daily!
 
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Dear X,

I know you live here and have the right to come home in the middle of the day. BUT for fuck's sake.......do you realize how humorous I find it that you A) opened the back door as quietly as you could.....I wouldn't be surprised if I came home one day and you had oiled it...so it wouldn't squeak. B) Tiptoed through the house.....who tiptoes through their house??????

If you thought I was going to be caught doing something bad.......sorry to disappoint you. I had the t.v. on low....and I had my computer up....b/c I was looking at my homework.

Thank you for the giggle after you left.


 
Dear X,

I know you live here and have the right to come home in the middle of the day. BUT for fuck's sake.......do you realize how humorous I find it that you A) opened the back door as quietly as you could.....I wouldn't be surprised if I came home one day and you had oiled it...so it wouldn't squeak. B) Tiptoed through the house.....who tiptoes through their house??????

If you thought I was going to be caught doing something bad.......sorry to disappoint you. I had the t.v. on low....and I had my computer up....b/c I was looking at my homework.

Thank you for the giggle after you left.



Ohhhh he was trying to bust you perving!!!
 
Dear X,

I know you live here and have the right to come home in the middle of the day. BUT for fuck's sake.......do you realize how humorous I find it that you A) opened the back door as quietly as you could.....I wouldn't be surprised if I came home one day and you had oiled it...so it wouldn't squeak. B) Tiptoed through the house.....who tiptoes through their house??????

If you thought I was going to be caught doing something bad.......sorry to disappoint you. I had the t.v. on low....and I had my computer up....b/c I was looking at my homework.

Thank you for the giggle after you left.



How come you weren't on lit :confused: :devil: :D
 
Dear Bouncing Lottery Balls,

I know which ones of you are supposed to show up tonight, hopefully you do too and will do your job.

Thanks and much love!
 
Dear X

Your friend wanted you to go shopping with her to pick out some sexy lingerie and sex toys for her weekend celebration of her and her husband's 30th anniversary.

You explain to me later what she bought. Her husband is in for a great weekend.

You come home with, wait for it, nothing! WTF??
 
Dear Idiotboy,

Two words: restraining order.

Me.



Dear D,

Always suspected you were part of it, now I'm pretty sure. So hmm, fuck you.

Not-worthy-of-a-me.
 
Dear Me-

I know that between chat and forum there is a lot of fun to be had, but there are dishes and laundry to do, a kid to feed, and that whole deal called *Its nice outside!* So get your fat ass off the couch and away from lit for a bit. Kay?

Love
YOU
 
Dear Tommy!

OMG. I can't believe it. I am so fucking happy. And I can't imagine anything better. I love you already. And you are minutes old. You are mine. I love you.

~ Uncle Tommy
 
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