Dear X

[RedHairedandFriendly]

Dear Self,

You had an epiphany this morning and you should keep it to yourself.

From,

Self.

 

[Pirates_Wench]

Dear Preacherswife:

Dont forget you have to burn the corpse too..

Dear Nightbird,

Thanks for the reminder. I will make sure I do that.

Much appreciative,
PW

 

[Sensualdreamer]

So is it FB that employers really want the log in for Hahaha thanks for the laugh

Dear Manager,

WHEN (not if but when) the Zombie Apocalypse happens, I have special plans for you.

There is this nice grassy area that separates our store from Chili's. With the assistance of two of my co-workers, I have chosen this spot especially for you. When the zombies come, I plan to stake you out on this grassy area.

After that, I will cut you many, many, many times. I will not cut you deep enough to kill you, just enough to really make you bleed, and to inflict pain (that is just a bonus). Upon completion of cutting you, I plan to ring the dinner bell and wait for the zombies to eat you alive.

My co-workers and I will be watching from a safe distance inside the store. Once the zombies are finished with you, we will ensure that you cannot turn. I have a baseball bat to bash in your skull and the assistant manager has a Samurai Sword to remove your head. We will ensure that you do not become a zombie. We owe that to your wife, as we actually like her.

Oh, after this is all said and done, I plan to take your vehicle. I have a long drive to make it to the Bunker and your vehicle will be much more comfortable than mine. I am sure that you will not object, as you will have died an agonizingly painful death by then.

Sincerely,

Me
One of many workers who are all tired of your petty shit at work!
Have a nice day.

 

[RazorBite]

lol...this is funny...

Make sure you cut a hole in the top of his head so that what little brains he has leak out.

Zombies like brains

Dear Manager,

WHEN (not if but when) the Zombie Apocalypse happens, I have special plans for you.

There is this nice grassy area that separates our store from Chili's. With the assistance of two of my co-workers, I have chosen this spot especially for you. When the zombies come, I plan to stake you out on this grassy area.

After that, I will cut you many, many, many times. I will not cut you deep enough to kill you, just enough to really make you bleed, and to inflict pain (that is just a bonus). Upon completion of cutting you, I plan to ring the dinner bell and wait for the zombies to eat you alive.

My co-workers and I will be watching from a safe distance inside the store. Once the zombies are finished with you, we will ensure that you cannot turn. I have a baseball bat to bash in your skull and the assistant manager has a Samurai Sword to remove your head. We will ensure that you do not become a zombie. We owe that to your wife, as we actually like her.

Oh, after this is all said and done, I plan to take your vehicle. I have a long drive to make it to the Bunker and your vehicle will be much more comfortable than mine. I am sure that you will not object, as you will have died an agonizingly painful death by then.

Sincerely,

Me
One of many workers who are all tired of your petty shit at work!
Have a nice day.

 

[Pirates_Wench]

So is it FB that employers really want the log in for Hahaha thanks for the laugh

Glad you enjoyed it! My plan has become a great source of amusement at work. Ha Ha

lol...this is funny...

Make sure you cut a hole in the top of his head so that what little brains he has leak out.

Zombies like brains

Excellent idea. But the poor zombies will not get much of a meal on his brains.

 

[Chaingun]

Best Dear X letter ever.

Get that guy some paper cuts.

Zombies love paper cuts.

 

[fungatorgurl101]

Best Dear X letter ever.

Get that guy some paper cuts.

Zombies love paper cuts.

Ohhhh add Lemon Juice too flavor him up.. plus that shit hurts in a paper cut!

 

[Chaingun]

Ohhhh add Lemon Juice too flavor him up.. plus that shit hurts in a paper cut!

You got that right. Imagine being tied up and scared to death of the zombies coming to eat your flesh and thinking, "Dammit, I can't concentrate; all these paper cuts hurt so much!"

 

[fungatorgurl101]

You got that right. Imagine being tied up and scared to death of the zombies coming to eat your flesh and thinking, "Dammit, I can't concentrate; all these paper cuts hurt so much!"

Cause I would be worrying about the paper cuts and not the flesh eating dead coming to ravage me and NOT in the good way

 

[fungatorgurl101]

Dearest Co-Worker -

So you have a tractor YAY and yes I know its broken BOO but really is it necessary for you to whine ALL DAY LONG about the bent drive shaft on your tractor and how much its gonna cost.

Here I have a few solutions for you take your choice:

Goats get a few they will eat that shit and you will fit right in with your Hick Ass self

Gasoline - pour it over your field and light - when chosing this option best to light from the MIDDLE

SHUT UP AND JUST FIX YOUR DAMN TRACTOR

OR my fave of all - No one cares so SHUT UP

Sincerely,
Gator from the Big City they just thinks your family tree don't fork

 

[Pirates_Wench]

Best Dear X letter ever.

Get that guy some paper cuts.

Zombies love paper cuts.

Ohhhh add Lemon Juice too flavor him up.. plus that shit hurts in a paper cut!

Oooooohh!!!!!
Wonderful additions to my plans.

Although I cannot accept credit for this entire plan, a dear friend helped me devise and perfect my evil scheme.

 

[DayMaker]

Dear Younger & Dumber,

Um, your conversation this morning about "can you even imagine how life was when people only had land-lines" pretty much made me gag. However, Dumber, that was the only conversation you had today that didn't center around talking about yourself. And yes, I know this because I could hear EVERY FUCKING THING YOU SAID, all day long.

Signed,

Happy to be home and enjoying intelligent conversation

 

[Aquagal]

Dearest Co-Worker -

So you have a tractor YAY and yes I know its broken BOO but really is it necessary for you to whine ALL DAY LONG about the bent drive shaft on your tractor and how much its gonna cost.

Here I have a few solutions for you take your choice:

Goats get a few they will eat that shit and you will fit right in with your Hick Ass self

Gasoline - pour it over your field and light - when chosing this option best to light from the MIDDLE

SHUT UP AND JUST FIX YOUR DAMN TRACTOR

OR my fave of all - No one cares so SHUT UP

Sincerely,
Gator from the Big City they just thinks your family tree don't fork

Hahahaha! Can't you mute HIM?

 

[njoyndesire]

Dear guy i thought would be my happily ever after...

Well it was an amazing 14 months but it just wasn't moving and the long distance thing and your job along with your family circumstances just added up to "we ain't going to make it"

I have no regrets... you taught me a lot about love and I loved how special you made me feel. I will miss you so much but I have to take care of me...

Please take care of your family, but most of all yourself. You'll forever have part of my heart.




Dear Mr. making me forget my sad and giving me happy right now...

I have enjoyed the past week and getting to know you so much... you've been there for me and listened, provided distractions and have been so sweet. Thanks for being so patient with my crazies.

Thank you ...

Your fairy girl.

 

[RazorBite]

Dear Friend,
I miss talking to you.

 

[kendra1980]

Dear People at the Party we are Driving 14 Hours to Attend,

My hope is that your language skills will be beyond what we have evidenced from you so far.

Baby talk is fine, IF you are a baby or speaking to one.

If we get there and you all are babbling like idiots, I am going to turn the camera to record and play it back later for you so you can see it.

You are a fun lot, I like you a lot, but that baby talk crap is just that...please don't do it.

 

[RazorBite]

ouu...sounds like fun

Dear People at the Party we are Driving 14 Hours to Attend,

My hope is that your language skills will be beyond what we have evidenced from you so far.

Baby talk is fine, IF you are a baby or speaking to one.

If we get there and you all are babbling like idiots, I am going to turn the camera to record and play it back later for you so you can see it.

You are a fun lot, I like you a lot, but that baby talk crap is just that...please don't do it.

 

[RedHairedandFriendly]

Dear Doctors and Nurses:

When the nurse can feel the baby's head when she does the pelvic exam and YOU still send the expectant mom home - - - WHY!?!?! Are you wanting them to deliver at home? ? ?

From

An Great Aunt to be for the third time to the third little girl.

 

[RedHairedandFriendly]

Dear Life,

I just need you to get just a bit easier. Please have the doctor's office have samples. *crosses fingers and says a prayer* Please let the weeks fly by, so my life can end faster - because I really just want to cry right now. Please ignore my last statement, because it was a stupid one to make.

Please just give me a break for just a wee bit.

Thanks,

Me.

 

[INeedLove]

Dear Litster above me,
I hope things work out for you at your Doc's office. I'm saying a prayer for you now. I'm sorry your life is filled with enough pain that you are wishing it to move faster. Big hugs!!
Me

 

[RedHairedandFriendly]

Dear Me,

Your prayers worked. They had enough samples that I should be good for five week. I was feeling very down, I don't truly want my life to move faster, there are times I just feel so overwhelmed and I forget myself. This morning was one of those times. But your prayers as well as those of a few others, did help. I know this because as soon as I left the house with the kids in tow, and did my errands, it was a brighter day and full of smiles. So thank you, your prayers were answered. ((Hugs))

Love,

~ Red

 

[sunshinegirl05]

Dear X,

you know, your kids are quite smart. Your son telling you to not get killed, or to not kill someone else, or go to jail...before you left to go to the bar.........says a lot....at least to me. Your daughter loves you too.

You laugh it off....but maybe you should take it seriously....and just b/c you live a mile away from the bar doesn't mean jackshit when you drink and get introuble.

 

[WolfsButterfly]

Dear X,

I am so glad I went outside of my comfort zone and checked out that dating site. I am so glad I messaged you after reading your profile even though you are not the type of man I generally am attracted to. I am so glad that you messaged me back. I am so glad that my kids like you so much. I am so glad you are mine.

Love,

Your Woman

 

[sunshinegirl05]

Dear Daughter of mine,

As much as you hate me right now for making you clean your room, you will be glad to have a clean room when it's all said and done. I have done the "if you clean your room, or clean for so many minutes, I'll come in and clean that long too" game and it paid off for 2 weeks...before you trashed it again.

I know you're a kid. BUT you are more than old enough to take responsibility for your belongings. People (your dad, myself, your grandparents, aunts, uncles, etc..) have spent their hard earned money on the things you have. I am pretty sure they would be quite disappointed and disgusted to see it scattered all over the floor and trashed.

Maybe if I make you clean your room by yourself, maybe...just maybe you'll think twice about throwing your stuff on the floor.

I mean business....you will clean that room everyday until it's cleaned. If you do not have an adequate amount cleaned up each day, you will not be able to have t.v., computer, or itouch time.

I love you but I mean business.

Love,

Your mom




Dear son,

I know you think I should let you eat chocolate all day...but I'm the one who would have to be up with you all night while you suffer from an upset tummy.

Love,

your mom

 

[fungatorgurl101]

Dear Daughter of mine,

As much as you hate me right now for making you clean your room, you will be glad to have a clean room when it's all said and done. I have done the "if you clean your room, or clean for so many minutes, I'll come in and clean that long too" game and it paid off for 2 weeks...before you trashed it again.

I know you're a kid. BUT you are more than old enough to take responsibility for your belongings. People (your dad, myself, your grandparents, aunts, uncles, etc..) have spent their hard earned money on the things you have. I am pretty sure they would be quite disappointed and disgusted to see it scattered all over the floor and trashed.

Maybe if I make you clean your room by yourself, maybe...just maybe you'll think twice about throwing your stuff on the floor.

I mean business....you will clean that room everyday until it's cleaned. If you do not have an adequate amount cleaned up each day, you will not be able to have t.v., computer, or itouch time.

I love you but I mean business.

Love,

Your mom




Dear son,

I know you think I should let you eat chocolate all day...but I'm the one who would have to be up with you all night while you suffer from an upset tummy.

Love,

your mom

^^^^^^ SEE Super Mom I TOLD YOU .... you