Dear X

[Noor]

Dear X,

Feeling beaten up by the world both from outside and within.
Looking at old stuff, brought back memories, shouldn't done that.

I wish I could just crawl into bed and find myself surrounded by your arms, you stroking my hair, kissing the back of my neck, rubbing my belly, whispering images for me to fall asleep on and never have to wake again.

Branching... that world would be nice too.

Just having a hard time being me right now.


****
okay looked at the Cosplay thread and smiled a little... it probably only superficial but its a start.

Fell asleep with images of swinging in the hammock, my hair long and floating in a gentle wind with your eyes following mine.

Today was better.

 

[WolfsButterfly]

Dear my Steve,

I love you. Yesterday I loved you. Today I am loving you. Tomorrow I will still love you.

Love,

Yours.

 

[sunshinegirl05]

Dear Z,

You died entirely to soon. The world hasdesperately needed, but has sorely missed, your wit and genius, even if you were a complete asshole as a co-worker and boss.

RIP.

*HUGS*

I'm sorry for your loss.

 

[BradBigBrain]

Dear Coffee,

I love you. I want you by my side every waking moment. You are the thing that wakes me up in the morning and keeps me awake at night. I don't know what I would do without you. I know when people see us together they wonder how our relationship works. You're black and I'm white. You're hot and I can be so cold. It's that we've been together for a long time. Decades. I just can't give you up. I can't quit you.

~Me

 

[someoneyouknow]

Dear employers,

It seems every week there is another article wherein you whine you can't find people to fill your positions. Here's an idea: how about you stop looking ONLY locally to fill your supposed jobs.

Without exception, every time I have called or written to inquire if a position is open to anyone, you come back and say you are only looking locally. Well golly gee, if you're only looking locally and can't find someone, maybe you should consider expanding your search area.

I have said it repeatedly and I will say it again until you get your heads out of your asses: the problem isn't that there is no one qualified to fill a position, the problem is you. You are the problem because of your myopic insistence that someone have exactly what you are looking, cross the 'T', dot the 'I' and all that, as well as someone only from your surrounding area.

If you insist on limiting the scope of your search, you deserve what you get. Whining about it and stomping your feet won't change the situation. You are the problem, not the applicants.

Giving you the double finger and smiling with smug satisfaction every time I hear you whine

 

[lexieredefined]

Dear Haagen-Dazs Mint Chip,

Where are the chips?!

Signed,
Jipped

 

[newbiebabe]

Dear Returned from Traveling,

I take back what I wrote yesterday.

Signed,

I'll get a weekend hobby

 

[IhateClowns]

Dear OKC storage auction,

That was a fucking hoot. There must have been 150 folks including myself and a buddy who went out there today. This was my first and last one. We went out there just to see what I was about. Obviously seeing storage wars on tv piqued our interest.

We had more fun making fun of everyone than we did the actual auctions themselves. It was as if The Far Side came to life. The auction crowd made the folks in the Walmart return line look like Victoria Secret models. Who knew that you could yell yes and here without teeth. I had no clue.

The units themselves were filled with things that made my grandma's house look like a Pier 1 store. There were used mattresses and cob webs all over the place. These folks were spending their last dime on others folks left over shit.

I think the best was the fight between the lady with the muumuu and te guy with overalls and no shirt underneath. Obvious the dress code at an Oklahoma City auction was quite lax to say the least. I think I wa te only person that had shoes with laces still in them.

Thank you for the joyous afternoon. It was a blast.

Signed,

I think I found the missing link

 

[goodgurlgetsbad]

Dear OKC storage auction,

That was a fucking hoot. There must have been 150 folks including myself and a buddy who went out there today. This was my first and last one. We went out there just to see what I was about. Obviously seeing storage wars on tv piqued our interest.

We had more fun making fun of everyone than we did the actual auctions themselves. It was as if The Far Side came to life. The auction crowd made the folks in the Walmart return line look like Victoria Secret models. Who knew that you could yell yes and here without teeth. I had no clue.

The units themselves were filled with things that made my grandma's house look like a Pier 1 store. There were used mattresses and cob webs all over the place. These folks were spending their last dime on others folks left over shit.

I think the best was the fight between the lady with the muumuu and te guy with overalls and no shirt underneath. Obvious the dress code at an Oklahoma City auction was quite lax to say the least. I think I wa te only person that had shoes with laces still in them.

Thank you for the joyous afternoon. It was a blast.

Signed,

I think I found the missing link

Dear X,

Now I am disillusioned - I thought one man junk is another man's treasure !!!
Will I see you on TV finally ?

Dim light at the end of the tunnel

 

[IhateClowns]

Dear X,

Now I am disillusioned - I thought one man junk is another man's treasure !!!
Will I see you on TV finally ?

Dim light at the end of the tunnel

Dear disillusioned,

No I won't be on TV because we were giggling too much. They were paying a lot for this "treasure".

 

[kendra1980]

Dear Neighbor Lady,

Please come through with the name of a good dog walker for us this week.

WE SO NEED ONE.

 

[MollyDolly]

Dear eBay Shopping Self,

Did you really need to start shopping on eBay for your Halloween costume? You have no idea where you'll be in October. What if you buy all the costume stuff and then you've moved somewhere and have no one to go out with?

You're not likely to get much everyday wear out of your costume idea. I know you love Halloween, but you should be more reasonable.

Signed,

The Tightwad Girl Who Will End Up Paying The Bill

 

[kendra1980]

Dear Barbie that I Work With,

Don't think I noticed that when your co-hort is not there, you cozy up to me.

Homey don't play that game!



Dear Body,

Pain is the name of the game. I get it. Truly, the way you woke us last night for a 2 hour romp through my being was duly noted.

Lesson learned, so there is no need for a repeat performance.

Thank you.



Dear Shed that We are Going to Try to Put Together Tomorrow.

PLEASE cooperate. We need you and you need to behave.

 

[fungatorgurl101]

Dear Woman that gave birth to me...

Thanks for the crap you continually put me through... I can always count on you to ruin any life event I ever have.

You ungrateful daughter

 

[sirgary]

Dear paint brush,

I need you to do something for me..

I need you to only put paint where I want the paint.

Your excessive dripping on the floor or smearing paint on the wall when I want it on the trim isn't speaking well of you.

I do understand that my hand isn't as steady as it use to be but you acting like lawn sprinkler with a uncontrollable bladder isn't helping.

Act like your friend, Mr. Roller, and we can finish this excersize in torture together and you can go back to collecting dust in the basement and I can get back to drinking up that beer stockpiled in the frig...

Signed,

Weekend Handyman

 

[kendra1980]

Dear Woman that gave birth to me...

Thanks for the crap you continually put me through... I can always count on you to ruin any life event I ever have.

You ungrateful daughter

Wondering if my mother had a sister I didn't know about now!

 

[Noor]

Dear X,

That is the last time I let you do that.
I can't afford any more injuries.
Hopefully this time it won't leave any lasting physical effects

icily,

Noor

 

[Thomasoir]

Dear X

Put your hands on me.

Sincerely,

Me.

 

[Marguerite01]

Dear curtain-rail-installer-man
Come back dammit! I can't sleep with my curtains wide open and bits of cord poking haphazardly out of the runners. I am too much of a klutz to fix it myself and it's already boiling hot with the sun beaming in the window.
Sincerely,
Sweaty cross girl

 

[BradBigBrain]

Dear Dogs,

It was fun walking with you. I like it. Matter of fact I love it. We all get our exercise and we get to bond a little bit more and more each day.

I know that when we walk it's time to do your business. I used to be a programmer and I know a thing or two about input and output (I/O). I know this for a fact...neither of your O's match your I's.

Your DogPa

 

[o_so_wet]

Dear Pain in the Neck.

Go away. I'm popping too many pills and, besides, I'm your owner. You should listen to me.

Fed up with you,
OSW

 

[EbersMoll]

Dear Roman Catholic Church in Scotland,

If you are not going to play the game, please don't try to write the rules.

Thank you,

EM

 

[BuckyDuckman]

Dear Boss,

I am so sorry that keep forgetting how I work for a financial genius and the world's most savvy traveler. I am so looking forward to you trying to find me a room for this Labor Day weekend that doesn't make you crap in your penny pinching pants.

See, a lot of people might have booked that room two weeks ago before all the rooms were booked up. Others might have tried to leverage that I needed a room for 18 nights, including Labor Day weekend, to score themselves a deal at hotel.

Instead, since you're convinced the best rates are found the day you need a hotel via one of these priceline style places, you'll wait until tomorrow morning to find me a room for the remaining 11 days of my trip. How far away from this tourist area are you going to put me? How many one night stays at different properties will you reserve? Will you ever think of calling the hotel where I've spent a month already and ask the manager "Hey, I need a room for another eleven days and I know he'll be back for another week later in the month of September." I bet she would love to lock in some business for later.

Dang it, I'm doing it again, aren't I? I'm trying to out-think the financial genius. Oops!

Signed

Hoping he doesn't have to change hotels more than three times in the next four days.

 

[Jett_73]

Dear Dogpa,

GIGO?

Amused Litster

 

[perkyT]

Dear boss,

Thanks for being a no show to our meeting today. Thanks for failing to cancel it. Thanks for rescheduling it for Friday. Really, thanks for that...I'll be on vacation.

Yours truly,

The girl who will be in a good mood all week!