Dear X

[BradBigBrain]

Dear peach of a friend,

Thank you for letting me vent my frustrations and sadness tonight. And thank you for helping me smile and laugh despite them. It's much appreciated.

Sincerely,
Not your sex slave, still your friend....Kate

I am so here for you!!

 

[Kate_88]

I am so here for you!!

Mr. Radio Man,

Thank you too!
And thank you for getting my request on the air in lightning speed.

Your new listener,
Kate

 

[BradBigBrain]

Mr. Radio Man,

Thank you too!
And thank you for getting my request on the air in lightning speed.

Your new listener,
Kate

You are so welcome!! I am so glad that you are a new listener!

 

[BuckyDuckman]

Dear X,

If you're wondering why I seem so much quieter, it's because I got tired of being interrupted whenever I speak, cut-off, dismissed or contradicted. It's amazing how anything that bubbles up into your mind is so much more valuable that I can't finish a thought.

If you're wondering why I seem more solemn, it's out of an admittedly bizarre form of respect for you. Apparently, after 26 years of marriage and 5 years of dating before that, my sense of humor is unwelcomed. Okay. I'll keep it to myself. Just don't ask why your DH doesn't seem to laugh, smile, joke or play around you. You won't like the answer.

Signed,

Poisoning himself with bitterness.

 

[aydana]

Dear Powers that Be at my Place of Employment,

It doesn't HAVE to be that intense, it doesn't have to be that negative or hard. Why you expect loyalty from employees when you have none for them is beyond me.

You teach one business model and practice another. Shame on you for that.

 

[aexoticgrl]

Dear X,

Thank you for letting me know your wife is out of the country. I'm still not interested in riding your Harley.

Never Riden,
Not Wet for You

 

[85Ironman]

Dear X,

Thank you for letting me know your wife is out of the country. I'm still not interested in riding your Harley.

Never Riden,
Not Wet for You

Dear (ae)X(otic) -

Have you ever considered true horsepower? I have a few thoroughbreds that you might consider riding in lieu of that Harley...

 

[BradBigBrain]

Dear X,

Thanks for hiring me. I've learned a lot in these past few weeks. Also...in the next few weeks I can add one more arrow to my quiver of skills, which is cool. I'm all about learning new things.

~ me

PS. Thanks for the day off. I needed it.

 

[someoneyouknow]

Dear potential employer,

Though I have yet to submit my resume for two of your job listings, let me say that your method of submitting ones information just plain sucks. What moron decided that if you upload a resume and realize you want to change something, you cannot delete said resume nor overwrite. No, you have to upload ANOTHER resume and select that one as the one you want to use.

Further, if I'm submitting my resume, why do you have fields for me to list my work experience? Shouldn't it be either/or?

Third, if the only selection under References is for professional, not personal, why do you bother having a dropdown where the only selection is professional?

I'm still trying to think of how the two jobs I am interested in applying for align with my career goals, but let me tell you, if your application process is any indication of how you do things, I can already tell you my career goal is not being able to jump through hoops while juggling flaming bowling balls on a unicycle.

Sincerely,

Ticked off applicant




Dear user,

I don't care that you sent me an email asking if you needed to notify us of your impending move and after I told you, of course, so we can track everything, you thought it would be cute to say in your submission that you were requesting me, I'm not the only one working at our agency.

Granted, it SEEMS like I'm the only person working at our agency, but that's only because everyone is so lazy and management lets them get away with it.

I have a multitude of other projects which, somehow, are all coming due on the same day which far outweigh your attempt to shortcircuit the system. Had you and your troupe not waited until the literal last second to tell us you were moving to a different location our area could have made the appropriate plans to have someone, or someones, ready to assist you.

However, since you did wait until the literal last second to tell us you needed your equipment moved, unless your move is assigned to me by my supervisor, you'll take whomever gets around to moving you and your cohorts. As I've said to some on here and elsewhere, I'm done doing other people's jobs.

The One

 

[British Filth]

Dear Mrs. Grayson,

I write to offer my sincere apologies for my behaviour at your guest house this past weekend. I have been under a degree of marital stress in recent days and my actions reflected a disproportionate overreaction to the discrepancies between your brochure and your fine establishment. My wife has required, I beg her pardon, requested that I write and by doing so I hope to continue our wonderful domestic bliss and not have to worry about the separation of assets.

It was unbecoming of me to describe the lovely retro décor of your reception as akin to "Hitler's bunker" or to cast doubt as to the consciousness of your charming husband. Though your brochure promised a 'lively and enthusiastic' reception, I should not have taken Mr. Grayson's pulse nor enquire as to whether any of the passing guests knew a coroner.

Your guests, particularly young couples, are entitled to enjoy themselves without restriction or condemnation, so it is with regret that I apologise for loudly enquiring as to whether number 12's wife "is as fucked as our chance of sleep tonight". Please pass my sincere apologies to all concerned.

Your 'wonderful home cooked food' was indeed a delight, and I must explain that my mimicking of a guest retching and dry heaving your delightful carrot soup all over your dining area, was a coincidental occurrence of exploring an interest in mime and amateur dramatics. That said, I should not have asked table three if his mother sucked cocks in hell and used a straw to direct the starter at high velocity. For the record, I do not believe your meals require guests to fetch "an old priest and a young priest", as I may have intimated.

Finally, I wholeheartedly apologise for the unfortunate soiling of your invoice on check-out. I accept that this was an entirely revolting and unhygienic act and I do not believe that any change was due, despite my earlier protests. I recognise that faeces does not constitute legal currency and neither does it accurately reflect the standard of your fine guest house.

I dearly hope that this puts the matter to rest, both in your home and mine.

Kind Regards,

Spurious

 

[aexoticgrl]

Dear X,

How could you do this to me. We have such a good relationship and you're pulling away. I'm so close to kicking your ass to the curb and cruising off with this gorgeous European I've found. I trusted you to give me a year and here we are not 6 months later and you're ready to give up. Screw it. I've made an appointment for change. Don't be jealous, you'll still be my toy but not my main squeeze.

Your Master,
Agave

 

[Edensgarden]

Dear Slim Shady,

Please stand up! I repeat, will the real Slim Shady please stand up!

I don't want to have to go 8 miles on your ass, but I will if that's what it takes for you to lose control.

Sincerely,

Sinem

 

[Jett_73]

Dear S'n'M

Go gentle with him to start with or Sub Shady might have real trouble standing up - or sitting for that matter - for a while. You want Slim stiff, not sobbing, remember.

Regards,

Uncle Jett

 

[Edensgarden]

Dear Uncle Jett,

Thank you for the advice. I'm always gentle when it concerns Slim's ass. The extra care and attention given by me guarantee no sobbing...only crying out for more.

I will admit his boundaries can be shady at times, thus causing me to push past them a bit. I've found driving him there always makes for a pleasurable trip.

With Confidence,

TLC from Me

 

[cf23430]

TLC from me

Slim Shady is indeed a lucky person. I have longed to find one such as yourself. I am sure that your amazing.

Longing CF

 

[aydana]

Dear Cheerleader,

You walk into work with a smile on your face, cheering all the way, with a knife tucked into the back of your waistband ready to stab any and everyone in the back.

We all see it, we all know.

 

[howboutdat]

Dear Beale street beauty,

I noticed you were a little tipsy after rocking hard, but fear not, I will always catch you!
I do believe that the young man in the elevator went back to his room and used copious hand towels. Also, I've heard cb chatter about a set of spread legs in the front seat of a certain vehicle, with their apex being fingered feverishly. I think you made a good impression.
I hope leaving me didn't give you the blues. I may need you to sing into my microphone again sometime soon! I hope you were pleased with the marks I gave you.

Signed, A Schwartz.

Ps. Next time we will have barrels of fun!

 

[aexoticgrl]

Dear wax girl,

I think you misunderstood my instructions. Thanks for making me look 16, but you can't put back what you took.

Still laughing,
Younger Version of Me

 

[Scentofawoman]

Dear speaker


http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_me7yzgalaH1rebi7mo1_400.jpg


The in attentive listener

 

[themilf]

Dear X,

I read your obituary today

Oh Stryder,
My heart goes out to you, Hold onto those beautiful memories.

tM

 

[FinallyFree83]

.....

 

[RedHairedandFriendly]

Dear Young boy who thinks he's a man,

Just in case you think you're going to move your girlfriend in, you're not.

From,

Your Aunt

 

[FantasySlut]

Dear X,

I read your obituary today. I know, I was too late again. I have always wondered who you became and if you were happy. Was your life happening the way you dreamed. Your obituary said you were a soprano, performed at the Kennedy Center in Washington DC, in opera in NYC as Lady Desmona. It made me smile as I read. I always have searched for you, lately on the web and Facebook. I finally found you. I am not ashamed to say that I cried as I read those lines that only briefly described your life. I'll always remember the last time I saw you at 13 in your flowered dress as I let you hold the new born kittens. The many letters we wrote and shared, until finally, one never returned. I'll always remember walking hand in hand to our first day of kindergarten, making mud pies on the "island" and letting each see what our underwear looked like. Your mother didn't much like that last bit of sharing. We learned to walk together, laugh together, and start life together. You were my first friend, my best friend, and first broken heart. I've always missed you and now I miss you more. Rest peacefully my forever friend.

Yours in loving memory,

J

 

[flirtygirly]

Dear Mr. C:

Just watched that video we made.
Can't wait to play with you again.

 

[someoneyouknow]

Dear user,

It's my job to instruct you how to properly use the equipment. While I understand working through things does help one retain the knowledge, you didn't do what I had just shown the person prior to you and so, as I later saw, your information was not retained. Nor was the second entry you tried to input.

Come tomorrow, when you go to use the information and can't find it, I'm sure you'll be the good employee and submit a ticket for someone to come down and fix what you couldn't bother to be instructed in.

Personally, if it were up to me, I would close the ticket with the explanation, "User refused assistance. Wanted to learn on their own."

Unfortunately, as I'm not high enough in the food chain to dictate what the policies of my area should be, one of us, not me, will have to take time off from their other duties to fix what you couldn't be bothered to have a 15 second walk through.

Congratulations, you're another user on my shit list who I will not do anything for unless it is specifically assigned to me.

The one who knows what they're doing