Dear X

[IhateClowns]

Dear Marley,

I hate that you can casually lick yourself and not give a fuck who is around. The way you look at me from tim to time I can almost guarantee you can sense my jealousy. Just realize that your life span is much shorter than mine and you look ridiculous every time you drag your ass across my carpet.

Signed,

Lotion will have to do.

 

[RedHairedandFriendly]

Dear Dad,

I really am trying not to think about your pending back surgery. It's very far away, at least it's supposed to be. I hope the shots get your through the summer, so you can enjoy the beauty of your garden. And when fall arrives and you undergo the knife, I pray that the doctor's hands are guided by our Lord and Savior.

I fear rehabilitation in the nursing home because we lost a dear friend who was sent to a nursing home for rehabilitation and a month later he passed away. Your grandchildren fear this too, one immediately saying, "He's going to die" as soon as she learned of your surgery. It was hard to look at her and say, "He'll be okay" when in my heart that fear exists.

I've not said a lot about your surgery to folks, simply because it's hard to talk about it. I'll be strong for everyone and thankfully the spouse will let me soak his shoulder with tears behind closed doors.

I love you bunches and bunches and bunches!

Your Dee Dee

 

[Mollie_F]

Dear Silly Little Posh Girl,

Thank you, your idiotic attempts at playing big-girl games have got me out of the whole nauseating thing....if I didn't think you were so awful, I'd kiss you,

Happy not to be one of you,
Me

 

[someoneyouknow]

Dear CIO,

That's where you decided to lay blame? On the area I work in? NOT the contractors who flit about asking us to constantly unlock their accounts because they can't follow the procedures as outlined to them, not the contractors spending taxpayer money like water on this over budget, over time, over engineered, still-doesn't-work-properly software after 3+ years? The ones who admitted they didn't do proper testing despite all the supposed expertise they bring to the table?

No, you lay the blame on the area I work in because we hadn't upgraded every system. Congratulations on showing why I have nothing but contempt and outright disdain for your person. If you thought you had done something which caused me not to say 'hello' in the elevator at some point in the past (which I didn't. No matter who, I will always say hello), do not think I will be cheerful or pleasant at any point in the future.

I told everyone how you were when you came to our organization because of who you knew, not what you know, and you are fulfilling my warnings to the utmost. The fact that you don't understand why people who leave our organization all say there is no respect from you shows you have no clue what you are doing. The fact that people keep leaving should be a clue, but I guess since the last time I had to work under you and people kept leaving and you didn't get the hint, this should come as no surprise.

You had better hope I never win the lottery or inherit some vast fortune because I will use as much of that money as need be to shout from the hills in flashing neon signs what a contemptible, arrogant, useless person you are. I will also go to our local news organizations and spill the beans on what a craptacular boondoggle this whole ERP project has been and the cluelessness with which you have handled it.

Fuck you.

The one who knows everything

 

[flirtygirly]

When I look back, I'll never think of you as the one that got away.

I will be relieved. I already see I was settling for way less than I should have.

Thank you for helping me learn that.

 

[Pinktacokitty]

Dear,,,, About to be a daddy in about 4 months........

I hope your lil boy is the healthiest most mischievous lil boy you have ever seen.... Mainly because I want him to torment you also the mischievous one are the cutest ones....

I am 1,000,000,000% convinced you will be a magnificent Daddy......

P.S. figure a way for wiffie to be in Texas on delivery day!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Signed......

Your Longhorn friend.......

 

[IhateClowns]

Dear Texas Lady,

Thank you for the very sweet and kind words. Although our Doc says that she cannot sing nor travel the last month of her pregnancy I will somehow someway drag her ass back over state lines. We can have the kiddo at that outlet mall jut on the other side of Texas or all I care.

Signed,

Will not pay for his college unless he goes to UT

 

[1sickbastard]

Dear X;

Bwaaaaaaahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!

Regards,
1sb

 

[1sickbastard]

Dear router.

You are a piece of crap. I hate how you just decide I don't need web access at least once a day. Time for you to go back to TW. Hopefully the next one won;t be another piice of crap as well.

I'd tell you to fucking die, but then I'd be w/o net access.

!@$$@#$U((%&%&*_)%*(_&U&#T&)),
And the horse you rode in on.

1sb

 

[glynndah]

Dear X,

I wish...


Sincerely,
the broken-hearted good little witch.

 

[sereneone4u]

Dear "X"

Come find me.

Yours.

 

[aexoticgrl]

Dear X,

You got me drunk, surrounded me with meat and then told me you used to be a freak. LOL. Thanks for the heads up about your tongue.

OMG,
*sincerely missing any kind of tongue action*

 

[SimoneLisbon]

Simone

 

[Edensgarden]

Dear X,

In my dream I wake in slow motion, unaware of my surroundings at first. I pull myself up and find I'm straddling you. I can feel my hips slowly moving to a beat that never stopped.

My eyes are half open and begin to focus. I am staring directly into yours as my mind slowly trys to process what just happened. As I gaze at you, for what seems like an eternity, I realize you can now see into my soul. You have discovered an unknown place deep inside of me. A place I don't even know myself.

I'm overwhelmed. I'm mesmerized. I'm intoxicated. I'm infatuated. I'm safe. You've unlocked me and now hold the key.

Signed,

In A Trance

 

[fungatorgurl101]

Dear X "Idiot that lives in my house" -

The last I checked I have been fucking crazy ass sick and need a little help. I am sorry that my body is not allowing me to just jump back and get back to normal quick its just not happening. But right now the stress you are creating is not helping either. I NEED HELP I am sorry the shower needs to be cleaned and the smell of the cleaning supplies causes me not to breathe... I mean who needs to breathe anyway right?! And to ask you to run to the store to get something for lunch I mean I didn't realize the basic necessity of food and eating it would really put you out but Oh wait thats right you made yourself breakfast and didn't offer me anything of it did you no because that would be something someone would normally do. And the clothes somehow they just fucking magically washed themselves and folded themselves I know but it is apparently TOO much to ask you to help me put them away. I am sorry really I don't want to take you away from your OH so interesting day of sitting on the couch watching some fucking stupid ass show on TV.... When I end up BACK in the hospital cause well if you don't remember you took me there Friday Night so I could breathe?! I will just say well thanks for the ride because I should be grateful right YOU did in fact drive me..... Guess what yeah FUCK YOU

A Sick and Pissy FGG

 

[Sensualdreamer]

Dear DMP aka ugly ass granny who has my ex...

What's your point? Do you actually think I'm interested in fighting to win back my ex? He's an ex for a reason and you've got him!
More to the point, why in the world are you obsessing over me?!?!

You thought emailing me would work, but I blocked your email...
You messaged me on Facebook, but I also blocked you there...
You obtained my cell phone number and started texting me and calling me, so I changed my number...

At that point I thought you had given up, but no...

You chose to stalk me to the point of finding my words w/ friends username and proceeded to harass me there. Naturally I declined your multiple game requests.
By this point you reached a level of desperation and stalked me via the foursquare app. I hope you found it useful that I checked into panera bread, target, the movie theatre, etc.,

If I suspected you were a crazy stalker before, then today's latest episode absolutely confirms it... WTF makes you think that my father will reply to ANY text message you send him???
You are nothing more than a harassing, cyberstalking psycho chick!!!

 

[Sensualdreamer]

Dear DMP

You must be some sort of stupid huh? Not less than 30 minutes after I filed a police report on you for cyberstalking and harassing me I check out my google voice app and discover you sent me two text messages, and two voicemails.
I couldn't decipher your babbling as it made no sense. As much as I find you incredibly obnoxious, crazy, and a lunatic I will say thank you for your continual stalking as it will help me prove my case in court.

Waiting to get a vpo against you...me

 

[lind3127]

Dear X . I am so very sorry that I can not read your mind. That was an elective in school. I can't believe that I thought math, science, and English were more important. I work 50 to 60 hours a week, I have been doing 10 to 15 loads of laundry every weekend. I answer all your question honestly but I can't read your fucking mind. If you ask a question be prepared for every possible answer. I am 40 now I don't want to play games with you anymore. It is not fun anymore. You are not fun anymore. Lighten up and grow the fuck up. Life sucks sometimes but make the most of everyday. Smile it won't hurt.

 

[Lord Pmann]

Dear X,

I want you to know that my life is better because of you. Thanks for being you.

Pmann

 

[aydana]

Dear Taxi Driver in car number 124,

You know, you can drive on my bumper all you want, the contrarian in me means I'll continue to slow down and give you more time at it,

Your hand waving and gesticulations were priceless. My only regret is that I didn't have a camera on you. You would have been a Youtube sensation.

Still chuckling.

 

[Innocenteyesonu]

Dear Angel of a Neighbor and Awesome vet,

First, thank you for not shooting the barefoot blond knocking on your door at 230am. Thank you for understanding that I felt helpless, after all, I am not mechanically inclined. You spent the next hour or so practically unassembling the undercarriage of my car to get to the small cat, whose leg was wedged so unnaturally among all of that metal. I'm like you, I really would love to know how he got in that position to begin with. I will forever more be in your debt. P.eople like you are very uncommon today.

To the most awesome veterinarian in history. Thank you so very much for meeting me at the ungodly hour of 4am to treat my little white furball. You were good with him and are probably the sole reason he didn't lose his leg. I know you were exhausted and would have probably rather been in bed. As for being in your debt, I'm sure I will see it in the bill, but that is more than okay.

You Both Rock

Sincerely,
The Barefooted Blonde

 

[BradBigBrain]

Dear work,

I like you.

~ Me

 

[Lord_Nibiru]

Dear work,

I like you.

~ Me

Really cool to see people liking work; pretty awesome when you're doing something every day that you enjoy. Unfortunately, I cannot stand my mind numbing BS job so:

Dear X (we'll call you boss),

Do some fucking work.

Cheers.

 

[respeito]

dear person who scrambles to get things done at the last minute,

we all do it - for whatever reason: either we have too many irons in the fire, or we just don't want to do it. but there are times when i really try to understand the psychology behind procrastinating. i don't mean not defrosting the freezer or not doing the laundry for the day; that's a small form procrastination. i mean delaying health related treatment until the last minute, then expecting the health care professional to wave their wand, click their heels, and pull a rabbit out of their hat to fix a myriad of problems in a small time frame.

"i kept putting it off, and putting it off..." is there a reason these words spilled from your mouth? was that your way of wanting to be delivered from your faults?

maybe there is a part of you that enjoys living your life on last minute pressure, i don't know. but your personal struggles now involve other people; one of whom doesn't feel sorry for you. since you may have a lot of time on your hands in a couple of months, i suggest that you use some of it to figure out how to become a better planner.

sincerely,

a ladybug who thinks your synapses aren't firing correctly.

 

[Wings]

Dearest Family,


I have done nearly everything I can think of to help you out. Gave up a dream, found a new one, spent loads of money and time getting us back on the straight and narrow again. We've been moving into a nice, easier relationship as time goes on but this last thing, it's starting to appear like the straw that will break me. I had this savings for my future, for my new life when I could achieve it. I will bail you out but I wish you understood what it's costing me. It's not about money, I can build that back up, it's about putting yourself first yet again.

Sometime soon I'm going to put myself first instead. You won't like it and I don't think I will care. I'm ready to fly away and my wings are strong enough again for me to break free of this problem.

Love,

Your Daughter