Dear X

[lakesailer_mi]

I was thinking you got a new car!

OHHHH...now there's a thought!

 

[smtst5]

Dear X,

You can’t complain about no one contacting you when you don’t answer your phone or return messages.

Signed,

It goes two ways

 

[cascadiabound]

Dear X

You are a bully and I am not going to stop calling you out for your disrespectful, antagonistic and bullying behaviour. I am okay with you being my enemy on that basis.

Signed,
not going away neighbor

 

[lakesailer_mi]

Dear X,

Well I got the last laugh. You thought you go out with a big "fuck you" and destroy shit....but...all it takes is money babe and I've got that. So...drive recovery, largely successful.

So fuck you back!

Signed,
I am thankful to the people at Drive Savers, although dayum, that's a lot of green.

(for further context, see this and this)

 

[BlackCashmere]

Dear Mistress of Fate-

Can we stop now? I think my turn is over…I thought you had moved on, but apparently I was wrong. Just give me one year off…please!

If I can one year with the good fate fairy it would be sooo appreciated!

Kthanx!

Hug

 

[Fingerfuxs]

Dear lurker , guest

 

[Xerxes82]

Dear X,

All I can think of is your body. Teasing me, tempting. Your shirt, slowly rising as my fingers begin to reveal you. My mouth hungry for your skin, your lips.

Trying not to giggle as your hair catches in your top, your arms pinned briefly above your head, giving my eyes a feast. The curves. The delicious and dangerous and irresistible curves. Letting my face dip to kiss your shoulder, your neck as my hands work to remove your bra.

Your breasts spilling free into my hands, so eager for you. Guiding a nipple to my mouth, tasting the sweetness of you. How I've dreamed of this moment!

Dreams it Shall Remain

 

[Seadog777]

Dear Summer,

Can you please kindly.....FUCK OFF!!!

Sincerely,
SeaDog777

 

[lakesailer_mi]

Dear Persons who provided the feedback on my report,

Seriously? Jesus fucking Christ what part of "this is so low on my totem pole" do you not get? I mean, the list of things you want me to do for so little reward is a little astounding. And I know you understand that the reward you are offering for it is...let's go with tiny because I'm polite (honestly, the "reward" might be punishment). You know that part of the reason I did this was to help out you...because you're struggling with no reports and I'm a friend. So...um...what the ever lovin fuck?

Signed,

Seriously, I play with the Big Boys and you're small potatoes.

 

[barefootgirl69]

Dear Persons who provided the feedback on my report,

Seriously? Jesus fucking Christ what part of "this is so low on my totem pole" do you not get? I mean, the list of things you want me to do for so little reward is a little astounding. And I know you understand that the reward you are offering for it is...let's go with tiny because I'm polite (honestly, the "reward" might be punishment). You know that part of the reason I did this was to help out you...because you're struggling with no reports and I'm a friend. So...um...what the ever lovin fuck?

Signed,

Seriously, I play with the Big Boys and you're small potatoes.

Dear Lakesailer,
I don't know what you have against tater tots, but your assessment couldn't be farther from the truth!

Small potatoes make great rewards no matter what the task or how big the pole! Size doesn't matter, it's the effort and dedication put into it.

If you need proof, meet me out behind the bike shed at 8pm tonight. Be naked, we don't want our clothes getting dirty just because we are!

~bfg~

 

[LaisDeMarieDeFrance]

Dear crappy secretary,
No, I will not ask my people to do something ridiculous because you want us to idiot proof things for you.
Just quit already,
all but 3 of the people in the unit

 

[cascadiabound]

Dear fucking cancer -
You just took away one of the best of us. I have no words really. Someone said "bereft" doesn't begin to cover it. #Accurate
I can't and don't want to think of a world without you in it.

One pissed off, deeply sad college coed

 

[BadAmy]

Dear pos

You lie. You lie. you lie.
You are guilty.
Guilty as fuck.
Hell hath no fury.
Signed.
Fuck you.

 

[Callmetim]

Dear literal ex,
No one is innocent from pains that were caused.
Admitting what we've done is the first step.
I hope and pray you get there some day.

 

[lakesailer_mi]

Dear Salesperson who call my work phone,

Don't tell me, "I'm not calling to sell you anything"...um...yeah, that's what you're doing.

I shouldn't have answered, I get that.

Signed....

I gotta stop answering my phone...

 

[cascadiabound]

Dear persistent realtors,

Why have so many of you determined my number is associated with a property y'all seem determined to buy from Ethel? Just to keep you from harassing her, I am gonna troll the fuck out of you and do the best I can to waste your time.

Pretend owner of the property on Latern Ln

 

[Mrtenant]

Dear persistent realtors,

Why have so many of you determined my number is associated with a property y'all seem determined to buy from Ethel? Just to keep you from harassing her, I am gonna troll the fuck out of you and do the best I can to waste your time.

Pretend owner of the property on Latern Ln

I troll those guys too and tell them I'll seell for $2million, but for a limited time only. Next year it's gonna be $3million. They quit calling, eventually.

Dear Salesperson who call my work phone,

Don't tell me, "I'm not calling to sell you anything"...um...yeah, that's what you're doing.

I shouldn't have answered, I get that.

Signed....

I gotta stop answering my phone...

Maybe take control of the conversation and sell them something instead? Try selling them your underwear, see what they do?

 

[MrsPassion]

Dear Overpaid and Underskilled,

No really. It’s cute how you act like I haven’t spent the past year doing your job, mine, and two others. You’re right my promotion, was “given” to me.

Tell yourself whatever you need too. Meanwhile, I’ll be over here. Wholly deserving of my flowers and salary. Can you say the same?

Signed,
You tried it.

 

[NRJLIVES4ever]

Dear Overpaid and Underskilled,

No really. It’s cute how you act like I haven’t spent the past year doing your job, mine, and two others. You’re right my promotion, was “given” to me.

Tell yourself whatever you need too. Meanwhile, I’ll be here over. Wholly deserving of my flowers and salary. Can you say the same?

Signed,
You tried it.

Motherfucking QUEEN

 

[MrsPassion]

Motherfucking QUEEN

Thanks babe

 

[lakesailer_mi]

Dear Overpaid and Underskilled,

No really. It’s cute how you act like I haven’t spent the past year doing your job, mine, and two others. You’re right my promotion, was “given” to me.

Tell yourself whatever you need too. Meanwhile, I’ll be over here. Wholly deserving of my flowers and salary. Can you say the same?

Signed,
You tried it.

You rock!
And super congratulations on the promotion! That is great news!

 

[MrsPassion]

You rock!
And super congratulations on the promotion! That is great news!

Thank you. It’s old news but some coworkers are having a hard time adjusting

 

[LaisDeMarieDeFrance]

Dear x,
I hate that you have such a hard time throwing things out. Don't think about the landfills, that's your anxiety trying to freak you out.
Love,
Your current self

 

[AngelWithAShotgun]

Dear X,

Just think of it this way, your home will be the landfill if you don't throw things out.

Hugs,
Ms. Hoarder Extraordinaire

 

[LaisDeMarieDeFrance]

Dear X,

Just think of it this way, your home will be the landfill if you don't throw things out.

Hugs,
Ms. Hoarder Extraordinaire

Dear Queen of the Hoarders,
Very good point! And it's good to see you!
xoxoxo