Delving the Psyche of Sadists

Wow, I have been here on and off for four years and haven't chimed in on this thread.

I am a sadist because pain and control get me off, period. It gets my dick extra hard to have a woman bound and at my mercy whilst I unload pain on her.

I have no idea WHY that is what really gets my rocks off, I just know that it does.

I know that it is a hell of a release...

When I am with a partner, I want to bind her and cause pain to get my rocks off. When I don't have a partner and I am stroking it, I fantasize about the same.
 
John madden rule of sports...(paraphrased)never do anything great unless you can handle the congratulations....(what movie is that from?)
The Replacements.
If there is one thing I have learned in my short life it is that we are all individuals, and proclaiming wisdoms is a dangerous thing that should be left to prophets and holy men (or saints). Although I am a sadist I know that I can only speak out of my own experience. Every person’s experience and perceptions is based on their own life and reflects their own uniqueness and individuality.

We have to be very careful in putting people in little boxes and deciding the correct and incorrect way to act and behave toward others. It is the individual who has the right to decide their nature and it is the individual who decides what he or she is. Let’s not try to put everyone in a nice little box, boxes are created out of wood and before it was wood it was a tree, which was part of a forest. Enjoy the freedom of the woods and stop making boxes before you destroy the forest.

Sometimes it just feels good to feel the wind blowing through your hair, and sometimes it just feels good to know what you are, accepting that which is part of your personality and enjoying it. Too many definitions, too much logic, too much analytical thinking will only make links that are not correct and that we do not want to make or feel are part of us

Francisco.
Quoted for Smokey the Bear truth.
 
I'm mean. I was born mean. I come from mean people, at least in part. I've mentioned before that my paternal grandfather was a vicious man, and gave no damns about consent. He was fuck-all mean, and my maternal grandmother was as vicious in some ways and more in others. My mother, in her own way, is a mean person as well. I don't use this as an excuse, or think that it gives me license, I just recognise that mean is deep-rooted in my background.

I started out verbally mean, as my father, a well-ordered man (with deep-seated submissive tendencies combined with a rebellious streak a mile wide) raised me to end fights, not start them and society reinforced that. Still, I was a mean kid. More than one of my peers were reduced to tears from my actions. As I got older, I realised that being verbally mean, while not as bad as physically hurting people, was still bad, and took a long look at myself. I'm still looking.

I remember one day while doing some MMA sparring, one of the guys commented on the evil smile that I had on my face, and another said that I always look like that. It surprised me, because I had no idea. I didn't watch my face, I was watching the other guy. It distracted me so badly that I nearly got myself hurt in that particular match, but it gave me something to think about. I realised that while I liked the MMA stuff, what I really like was the sparring, using the technique. Learning it was secondary to applying it. Sure, I liked the competition, but I really liked the hurting. And the reason why I was good at it was as much because I liked hurting people, as it was because I was perfectly willing to get hurt to get the other guy down. I was actually nervous in sparring for a while after that.

Anyway, sexually speaking, I like to hurt people. I get my kicks from it in fact, considering the offering of pain to be more of a rush than the dominance itself. But it has nothing with how hard I swing my hand or how much of a mark I make. It has to do with the reactions of my bottom.

To me there is no greater emotional beauty to be found than in struggle. Struggle makes life worth living in general, and pain provokes struggle at its' most basic level. When I see her face twist in a suppressed scream, when I see her body and mind struggling to process what I am doing, when I see that edge teetering between breaking down in pain and breaking down into orgasm, that, to me, is beauty.

That my partner is willing to struggle and suffer for me, shows devotion. That she keeps coming back shows loyalty. In each case, this is the result of an emotional struggle in its' own way, as I am not easy to live with, and, to me, is beauty as well.

There is also an aspect of artisanship in it. I like producing pleasure quite a bit, and enjoy my partner's pleasure and orgasms often more than my own, and to provide pleasure while giving often serious pain is an ego trip. If I can hurt her to the point of sobbing and still provoke an orgasm, I am doing something right.

And, at the end of the day, I'm still that mean bastard that I've always been. I just like hurting people. Being able to do it in this manner is simply more satisfying.
 
When you know inside...

You are hurting her...

She is in pain... and her hands grab the bed spread tightly.

There's just something honest about sweaty hair and white knuckles.
 
Howdie ~CM~

Good to see you.

Pull up a chair and have a sit

bth_iceblock_zpsf01e9910.jpg
 
A woman that I'm playing with -- she's very expressive. When we're just fucking, I find it really difficult to stay gentle with her, because her expression the moment the pain hits is so gorgeous. I always end up slapping her just once more... What would I do without consent!
 
I've always abode by the law. ;)

But seriously, fear of a law is not it. If I had no consent, I would not do what I do, because I am not willing to rape or batter anyone. That's a fact-- burned into my heart and bones.
 
When you know inside...

You are hurting her...

She is in pain... and her hands grab the bed spread tightly.

There's just something honest about sweaty hair and white knuckles.
Great imagery...

And good to see you drop back in! Do it more often, k?
 
To me there is no greater emotional beauty to be found than in struggle. Struggle makes life worth living in general, and pain provokes struggle at its' most basic level. When I see her face twist in a suppressed scream, when I see her body and mind struggling to process what I am doing, when I see that edge teetering between breaking down in pain and breaking down into orgasm, that, to me, is beauty.

This strikes a chord with me. I don't know if I can really decribe myself truly as a masochist, but I am certainly a bottom of some description. What I really enjoy more than anything else are intense experiences. The most emotionally rewarding times for me are ones where I am on that edge; times where half of my brain is screaming for it to stop, and the other half is telling me to hang on and stop panicking.

It actually took me a while to figure out that I liked this, as well as more than a little friction in my relationship.


I remember one day while doing some MMA sparring, one of the guys commented on the evil smile that I had on my face, and another said that I always look like that. It surprised me, because I had no idea. I didn't watch my face, I was watching the other guy. It distracted me so badly that I nearly got myself hurt in that particular match, but it gave me something to think about. I realised that while I liked the MMA stuff, what I really like was the sparring, using the technique. Learning it was secondary to applying it. Sure, I liked the competition, but I really liked the hurting. And the reason why I was good at it was as much because I liked hurting people, as it was because I was perfectly willing to get hurt to get the other guy down. I was actually nervous in sparring for a while after that.

This made me laugh when I read it, because I'm the opposite. I do martial arts (not MMA), and I secretly like getting hit. I'm not an idiot about it; I won't put myself in harm's way on purpose, but when doing drills and things, I don't mind being used for target practice :rolleyes: This sort of predilection is counter-productive, and I have to actively fight it!

Incidentally, this ties in with my liking of intense experiences and pushing of limits. To me one of the most satisfying things is sparring with someone to the best of your abilities, leaving you both panting and exhausted and with a few souvenir bruises. Same as running as fast as you can when your body is screaming for you to stop, or doing a a mentally challenging task. A life of choosing to struggle may be more difficult, but to me, it's better than not being stimulated enough.
 
Having been both the S & M, I don't know which is better, their both fantastic. But either way, us kinky (there's that word again) folks know an intensity that few vanilla people ever will. Maybe I'll burn out sooner, but the ride right now is worth it.
 
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