Delving the Psyche of Sadists

[Guest]

LMFAO! ok, so the fact i'm doing the celibacy thing is starting to show?

been following this thread and wanted to ask if you were repulsed by your sadistic sides? i am...

personally, when my sadistic side takes over my compassion and common sense seem to switch of. i become a different me and it's not a me i'm comfortable with
i found that the more i indulged it the more extreme it grew and i lack the level of control that most of you seem to have.

the last time i let it out of the box to play...
we'd played. i'd bitten & scratched and lightly cut. *looked him in the eye, lifted his arm and kissed it gently, picked up the blade. looked him in the eye, flicked my wrist and with a single movement slashed down to the bone. looked into his eyes to drink in the shock and pain and disbelief. lifted his arm to my mouth and ran my tongue along the two inch slit, probing deep into the wound, feeling the muscles of his arm flinch and twitch beneath my hand, tasting his blood. i looked into his eyes and he spoke "you must really love me" and then we fucked* at the time it felt so good. the next day when he visited me after seeing the doctor i felt nothing but revulsion. i decided not to do this anymore coz it's more than i can control.
words to explain quite how good it felt at the time escape me.

i think i'll stick to subbing coz this isn't a game for little girls!

does anybody else feel this way about themselves? how do you live with this side of yourself the next day? when you slip into this place how do you keep control over the levels you go to? do you consider your sadism ugly or beautiful?
serious questions that trouble me deeply.

i would like to point out that the cut was placed away from any large veins and tendons and did no permanent damage other than the large scar.

xx

Hmmm In reality I consider it neither ugly..nor beautiful..Though Beatific will occaisionally fit *grin*.
It just is.
Periodicly I get one of those random Victorian inclinations and I move it in to a more .."artistic" realm.
*sigh*
A lot (most in fact) of the people who I see, that have serious (at least in their mind) problems with BDSM or it's concepts. Are folks who are trying to "keep things seperate", they are in denial that the human animal occaisionally has urges that are less than societally acceptable.
And since these urges, harmless though they may actually be, as long as expressed with a like minded individual, do not meet up with "P.C." or what they have had drummed into their head is "normal", they will often try to supress them.
Controll of something stems from acceptance and understanding.
I understand that these feelings are present..That they operate in certain ways. That if suppressed past a certain point they can be a problem.
And, especially now, I don't really have a problem with it.

Hmmm Normal...Normal is the middle %63 of the bell curve of human behaviour..
*grin* Welcome to the %37 that constitutes the interesting people.

As for keeping control.
*sigh* It helps if you have spent a large portion of your life engaged in activities(usually for fun) where a lack of self control, or of patience, or inattention to detail, will get you killed deader than 4:00 o'clock.

Also, when dealing with these things it doesn't hurt to remember that,
One: Jail sucks.
Two: If you break your toys you can't play with them anymore.
Three: It can be very hard on the "normal" aspect of your life, when you have to explain to the medical technicians, or the local law enforcement, exactly what, and why.
Besides...Just whacking a monking big hole in someone...*sigh* it kind of lacks artistry..yah know?

 

[Guest]

Interesting...
Anyone given any thought to collecting up the posts from this thread (well the serious ones that is) and putting them into a collection for possible publication???
This thread, and a couple of others, have addressed quite a few things that you never get to hear being talked about in the "mainstream". Especially not in any rational way.

Oh..And who's throwing the party?

 

[dolf]

there was artistry preceding the whacking great hole...i just had a sudden urge to do it. (i think i'm too impulsive to play at this too) i only use that example because it was the turning point and the most extreme thing i'd done. it satisfied my curiosity as to how the flesh was layered...
i'm usually a very artistic person, very inventive and imaginative but at that point i just wanted to take a sledge hammer to the scene. PMS maybe?
xx

 

[AngelicAssassin]

*grin* Welcome to the %37 that constitutes the interesting people.

And better this smaller herd with working brains than the other ants, or worse, sheep.

As for keeping control ... *sigh* It helps if you have spent a large portion of your life engaged in activities (usually for fun) where a lack of self control, or of patience, or inattention to detail, will get you killed deader than 4:00 o'clock.

Interesting you put the "usually" on the "fun" side. My positive habit transfer for control comes from the other.

Also, when dealing with these things it doesn't hurt to remember that:

• One: Jail sucks.
• Two: If you break your toys you can't play with them anymore.
• Three: It can be very hard on the "normal" aspect of your life, when you have to explain to the medical technicians, or the local law enforcement, exactly what and why.

Besides...Just whacking a monking big hole in someone...*sigh* it kind of lacks artistry..yah know?

If you keep having these flashes of brillance registering "Nova" on the bright light scale, i'm sending you the bill for designer Ray-Bans.

All kidding aside,

The key for me is not to become another person. Sadism is an integral part of who I am.

To become another and push sadism into another part of yourself and then let the beast out to play sometimes is not to be advised. It sounds as if you are creating a Multiple personality disorder or a Bi-Polar disorder. Although it is easy to see the sadism as a beast that has invaded your soul and has nothing to do with whom you are, (I have been guilty of doing the same many times) it is not healthy. Once it has been escorted out of its cage it will not want to be put back in.

Embrace who you are so that you can control it. To control your sadism you have to acknowledge that you are a sadist. Enjoyment of pain is not bad whatever our parents and society might have told us.

We are what we are, if it is your nature to enjoy pain be it the giving or the receiving, it is best to accept it. Sometimes we sadist have a hard time accepting what we are. It is a difficult thing to accept that torturing others can create such intense pleasure. But if you want to stay mentally healthy and enjoy your life you will have to accept what you are. Your partner seems to accept and like that part of you, so you already have an excellent point to start from.

It is hard, it is difficult and it is going to take a lot of time, but at the end you will be a lot stronger and healthier and you will have learned to feed the beast without it taking.

Francisco.

'Cisco, i understand your point, and i can agree with you ... to a point. As long as we have places like Alabama/Georgia/whatever bassackwards state decided to outlaw the purchase of a sex toy, however, i can't contemplate the change you suggested. i believe in Murphy. As such, i don't need Joe Billy Bob down South, or his cousin Mortimer Headupmyass in the North sticking his nose in my business while i bracket my "call for fire" teaching a free ranging WHOB to walk down the hill rather than bounding.

i know myself. i know enough of the PYL "bleeds through" as it is in everyday life. And i know the bell curve can pack a whallop if they act as one and in concert.

 

[catalina_francisco]

I am not suggesting a coming out, like homosexuals do.
What I am suggesting is accepting who and what you are for yourself.

I live in a pretty liberal country and BDSM is sort of accepted in the Netherlands. But would I come out?.... not as long as I need a job.

Francisco.

 

[AngelicAssassin]

I live in a pretty liberal country and BDSM is sort of accepted in the Netherlands. But would I come out?.... not as long as I need a job.

Francisco.

Chuckling here ... then we seem to read from the same sheet of music.

 

[D's mariposa]

does anybody else feel this way about themselves? how do you live with this side of yourself the next day? when you slip into this place how do you keep control over the levels you go to? do you consider your sadism ugly or beautiful?
serious questions that trouble me deeply.

I'd be interested in hearing from more switches on this. Do you have a problem reconciling both sides of your personality? I believe Fransisco said he doesn't view it as becoming another personality, (I don't think I do either, but this duality is not a part of my makeup, so I don't know.)

Very cool thread, folks. Lots of good thinks here, as my grandpa would have said.

 

[Wednesday'sRose]

I'd be interested in hearing from more switches on this. Do you have a problem reconciling both sides of your personality? I believe Fransisco said he doesn't view it as becoming another personality, (I don't think I do either, but this duality is not a part of my makeup, so I don't know.)

Very cool thread, folks. Lots of good thinks here, as my grandpa would have said.

Hmm, I am thinking of starting a thread on this, but I'll try to answer here anyway. I am a switch and I do sometimes have trouble reconciling both sides of me. The main problem for me is when one side has been building up too long without expression and is trying to bleed through too much into everything. This tends to be far more common with my dominant side breaking into my submissive side.

I am still young though (yes, I'm not afraid to admit that) and I believe that the situation will get better with time. I haven't been acknowledging my sadistic/dominant side for all that long and putting the dichotomy together still takes work. It took me longer to understand that switching was okay because in the area of the vanilla world that I inhabited that thought was never mentioned. I kept feeling like I was a freak because I was interested in both sides of the D/s, S/M equations.

I mainly only have the issues in the area where playing is concerned. I understand myself more than well enough for everyday life and the people who are around me get used to the fact that I am not always one way or the other. When I get asked about preferences or whatever I generally just answer that I'm "complicated." That tends to engender some interesting looks but it works for me.

Anyway, I hope that helped and wasn't too confusing. I am planning to start a thread on this most likely tonight when I have more time so I won't continue to hijack RJ's wonderful Sadist thread.

 

[catalina_francisco]

I'd be interested in hearing from more switches on this. Do you have a problem reconciling both sides of your personality? I believe Fransisco said he doesn't view it as becoming another personality, (I don't think I do either, but this duality is not a part of my makeup, so I don't know.)

Very cool thread, folks. Lots of good thinks here, as my grandpa would have said.

Not being a switch I can't be 100% sure but I tend to think it is just like any other facet of your personality and accepting it for what it is. I remember a time when I was in my teens when I had several different groups of friends, each particualr group corresponding with an important part of my personality, but none overlapping....and then of course trying to maintain the image my parents expected and thought of me as.

I used to get seriously confused at times, and even a couple of times decided to invite a friend from one group on an outing with one of the other groups in the hope I could use it to integrate myself into a whole. It never worked and always proved a fizzler at best, disastrous at worst. Then came the night when I was going out dancing and my friend from schooldays excitedly said to my mother on the way out the door, "Oh you should see her on the dance floor....she is not the girl you think you know once the beat starts".

Of course I could have throttled her because I saw the look of suspicion on my mother's face, which never had to have a reason to appear anyway. From that moment I decided it was time to accept myself first and foremost for who I was, recognise I had various facets of my personality which were just as much a part of me as the rest, and if people could not handle the authentic me it was not my problem, more so theirs. It has helped me keep grounded throughout my adult life and appreciate who and what I am.

Catalina

 

[redelicious]

Re: Re: Re: Re: <----Applauds wildly...

Yes we talked afterwards.

The expression on her face during was all I needed to know how she found it, however I did ask her. Her response was laced with worry and visions of how this would end up with whips and chains(I gave her the "one could only hope" look, which made her eyes go wide lol). This sparked a interesting conversation between us, which led to laying out her limits. Not in a formal way...but more me describing things I would enjoy doing and why...and her agreeing to 90% of it. Her biggest concern was that I never would hit her in anger or use it as a form of rejection/resentment. As I was re-assuring her that those don't even come into play as to the why I do it...I also gave her a safe word...and told her that at anytime if she felt she needed to stop...she would just say it and I promised I would.

After we were done talking...she expressed she felt so much better...and she just laid there completely relaxed.

I think a big part of this is not just her accepting some things about me...but also experiencing an awakening of her own. I have mentioned before that she is such a natural submissive she doesn't even know it. She has also shown many signs before this during rough sex, such as me placing my hand around her neck will cause her to cum within 20 secs. I don't even have to squeeze, she just melts at the feeling of strength around her neck from my hand.

We have talked about some of this stuff before...and she likes it during, but mentally afterwards she feels a bit guilty for finding pleasure in it. She requires alot of aftercare and reassurance from me that I do not think she is a bad person(seriously).

What I found interesting about what happened, is that this didn't even come up as we talked afterwards, as I got the impression she wasn't focused on herself during it as much as she was focused of being used by me for my pleasure. Even though she enjoyed it, the guilt was absolved it seemed as she wasn't doing to get the pleasure for herself(that just happened), it was more about giving herself over to me for my pleasure.

I am sure as she becomes more comfortable in her own skin, the frequency will increase, however, for now...I am all about taking time with this. Reasons for myself as well as for her. Part of being married is also recognizing the relationship as a whole. This is a new piece which must be worked into that whole over time. I have waited 18 years, I think I got the hang of being patient

So I don't have any unrealistic expectations about what this might lead to, but I do know that I am happy with what happened, and am willing to let it grow in a natural way. I will let her know when my hands start to get that itch...giving her time to rev in anxious anticipation of what I am going to do to her next.

I'm just a fly on the wall in this thread, but I wanted to say how very awesome I think this new development is. Enjoy going down these new roads with your wife.

 

[RJMasters]

Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: <----Applauds wildly...

I'm just a fly on the wall in this thread, but I wanted to say how very awesome I think this new development is. Enjoy going down these new roads with your wife.

Ty Red

 

[Wednesday'sRose]

Ok, I realize that this goes off in a whole new direction within sadism, but I figure that's sort of what this thread is about so here goes...

As a switch, I find that I am gender specific as to my dominance/submission. I personally see nothing exciting in the idea of dominating men, but women are a whole other story. While I have mainly submissive feelings toward men (though not all men) I have very strong feelings of dominance with women. That dominant side is the Sadist in me.

I was just wondering about people's thoughts about the gender specification as it relates here since no one else had mentioned it. I also realize that this may be one of those things that is difficult to relate to if you're not bi or even a switch. I just thought I would bring it up for discussion.

 

[Sir_Winston54]

Being the Sadistic Bastard I am...

RJ - now that she's beginning to participate in our culture, you need to buy another computer and introduce her to BDSM Talk and the Café.

What better place for her to learn with you as the two of you explore this wonderful universe?

 

[RJMasters]

Re: Being the Sadistic Bastard I am...

RJ - now that she's beginning to participate in our culture, you need to buy another computer and introduce her to BDSM Talk and the Café.

What better place for her to learn with you as the two of you explore this wonderful universe?

Turns sideways and bends backward slightly watching that one go by in a blur...

 

[AngelicAssassin]

Re: Re: Being the Sadistic Bastard I am...

Turns sideways and bends backward slightly watching that one go by in a blur...

Little too fast for you there stud, or did the "Beep! Beep!" scare the sh!t out of you?

 

[A Desert Rose]

Re: Being the Sadistic Bastard I am...

RJ - now that she's beginning to participate in our culture, you need to buy another computer and introduce her to BDSM Talk and the Café.

What better place for her to learn with you as the two of you explore this wonderful universe?

Now, that I think, is an excellent idea. But, be careful not to be rushing her into things.

 

[Kajira Callista]

Re: Re: Being the Sadistic Bastard I am...

Now, that I think, is an excellent idea. But, be careful not to be rushing her into things.

*nods and snaps my gum*

 

[A Desert Rose]

Re: Re: Re: Being the Sadistic Bastard I am...

*nods and snaps my gum*

I you.

I do know there are lots of SO's on the boards who post. I think it's an interesting idea and I do enjoy reading from both their perspectives.

 

[Kajira Callista]

Re: Re: Re: Re: Being the Sadistic Bastard I am...

I you.

I do know there are lots of SO's on the boards who post. I think it's an interesting idea and I do enjoy reading from both their perspectives.

yup me too *hands ADR a reeses*

 

[A Desert Rose]

Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Being the Sadistic Bastard I am...

yup me too *hands ADR a reeses*

Come on over here and let's curl up together... and put those reese's between us. LOL

You know, you make me feel like such a hot ticket when I'm with you, dollface. ;-D

 

[RJMasters]

Re: Re: Re: Being the Sadistic Bastard I am...

Little too fast for you there stud, or did the "Beep! Beep!" scare the sh!t out of you?

She can read my book when I am done writing it.

 

[Kajira Callista]

Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Being the Sadistic Bastard I am...

Come on over here and let's curl up together... and put those reese's between us. LOL

You know, you make me feel like such a hot ticket when I'm with you, dollface. ;-D

you are a hot ticket im just here to remind you

 

[RJMasters]

Re: Being the Sadistic Bastard I am...

RJ - now that she's beginning to participate in our culture, you need to buy another computer and introduce her to BDSM Talk and the Café.

What better place for her to learn with you as the two of you explore this wonderful universe?

I honestly took this as a bit sarcastic.

Just the mention of flogger or chains or BDSM would have her hiding in the fucking closet for months.

When I am done writing my book, I will be ready for her to read it. I am sure she will be interested more in learning after I lay a foundation I wish to for me and her. I am also sure she will want to know the source of my inspirational writing.

There are days when I have trouble dealing with some of the craziness, I am in no rush to push her into the deep end.

I think thats a pretty wise decison at this point in time.

In a way, I am sorry I even mentioned it...lesson learned...

Sry Winston if I misunderstood you.

Chow

 

[catalina_francisco]

Ok, I realize that this goes off in a whole new direction within sadism, but I figure that's sort of what this thread is about so here goes...

As a switch, I find that I am gender specific as to my dominance/submission. I personally see nothing exciting in the idea of dominating men, but women are a whole other story. While I have mainly submissive feelings toward men (though not all men) I have very strong feelings of dominance with women. That dominant side is the Sadist in me.

I was just wondering about people's thoughts about the gender specification as it relates here since no one else had mentioned it. I also realize that this may be one of those things that is difficult to relate to if you're not bi or even a switch. I just thought I would bring it up for discussion.

You might find some of these past threads of interest....couldn't find the exact one I was thinking of, but touches on the topic from variety of angles.

https://forum.literotica.com/showthread.php?s=&threadid=226488

https://forum.literotica.com/showthread.php?s=&threadid=119694

https://forum.literotica.com/showthread.php?s=&threadid=97790

https://forum.literotica.com/showthread.php?s=&threadid=70372


Catalina

 

[dolf]

an IM convo i had about sadism...
i asked about my sadism/masochism.

****** : Your mind.
****** : The way your body burns when you smell blood
****** : How you view pain as a color and scent and flavor
****** : to be savored
****** : How the body is
****** : a key
****** : to the mind
****** : a puzzle
****** : with no right answer
****** : a bite here, a caress there
****** : a lash across this bit of her
****** : a whisper
****** : a sigh
****** : a low, animal, contemptuous laugh as I penetrate her with my cock
****** : like unlocking a safe
****** : but the contents are different every time


i'm not sure it answers the questions, but it does give a clear view of the colours...
well, even if it doesn't answer anything for anyone else it's damn sexy