Delving the Psyche of Sadists

AngelicAssassin said:
What makes you so sure he referred to your cherry ... http://img.villagephotos.com/p/2003-8/363868/2cool2.gif

Speaking of cherries...

I lost my sad cherry today in RL. Still have that..."taking warm clothes out of dryer and putting them on feeling."

(Edit added below as explanation since some have asked.)

When I said "sad" cherry, I meant sadist cherry. Meaning simply that sexual activity has always aroused my sadistic tendencies, and rough sex ensued. This time was different. Most of you who know me, know that most of my experience is online...yet today my vamilla marriage of 18 years got a surprise. I have been revving for a few days, and finally when asked by my wife what was eating me, I blurted it out...well communicated a bit about what I have been feeling over the last few days. Told her there are times when I want to make love to her, times when I to have rough sex, and then there are just times when I want to use her as my play toy. When I was done I asked her if she could handle that about me. In a very shaky voice she said yes...and I told her good, go take off her clothes and get on the bed...I would be in shortly.

Long story short, sex wasn't the main driving force behind what happened next. A cpl of bite marks and having to hold her down as I rid my hands of thier itch. After about the 5th good smack on the ass...I asked how she was doing...as I checked her...she was niagra falls below...and only moaned and lifted her ass a little higher...and things just sorta fell into place after that.

and that's why I said I still had that..."taking warm clothes out of dryer and putting them on feeling." I sorta stepped outa of the closet and lost my "sad" cherry today.

Hope that cleared it up.
 
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RJMasters said:
Speaking of cherries...

I lost my sad cherry today in RL. Still have that..."taking warm clothes out of dryer and putting them on feeling."


??????
 
EKVITKAR said:

sry Ekvitkar,

I was adding to the last post to explain as others have asked...You must have posted while I was editing. Your answer is above.

In many ways I am still a little fish in a big pond, but byte by byte I am learning and growing. Sry for the vague attempt at humor.
 
<----Applauds wildly...

RJMasters said:
<snip>In many ways I am still a little fish in a big pond, but byte by byte I am learning and growing. Sry for the vague attempt at humor.

RJM,

The humor may have gotten by most of us, but I would shake your hand in celebration of such an accomplishment. Salud!

Esclava :rose:
 
WOOT!!!!

RJMasters said:
sry Ekvitkar,

I was adding to the last post to explain as others have asked...You must have posted while I was editing. Your answer is above.

In many ways I am still a little fish in a big pond, but byte by byte I am learning and growing. Sry for the vague attempt at humor.

WOOT !! Well Hell Son..Why didn't you say so ...

OK....Time for a PARTY!!!!!!

*Sniff* Sort of gives you a tear in your eye...Yah know?
 
Re: <----Applauds wildly...

Esclava said:
RJM,

The humor may have gotten by most of us, but I would shake your hand in celebration of such an accomplishment. Salud!

Esclava :rose:

Have mixed "thoughts" about it.

I kinda realize why those I consider sadist are not so open and laid bare about certain things of themselves. They have extremely sharp wits with barbwire defenses, or are so wild in expression it is almost humorious. Both hide a deeper truth that is prolly best kept out of sight.

I know this...or am beginning to learn it quickly...when I started this thread, I didn't know what I know now...if I had...I probably wouldn't have started it...pauses...and thinks...I dunno.

Any happiness I feel over what happened, is mostly in that for the first time I was able to share something with my wife I have kept isolated from her all these years...and her ability as a woman to cope with that. Again she has showed me why I love and respect her more now, than I did when the day we met...and also I am just happy my hands have stopped itching so damn much!

As for being happy about what actually happened...I'm still sorting and processing. I know I enjoyed it...but some of the things I felt as it happened, are on such a deep level, I think I will just keep those to myself.

When I go back and re-read what some have shared in this thread, I have a new appreciation for them sharing what they have. Again I find myself coming full circle and having a deeper respect for those people I have come to know.

And I will add this..."some" of the things I did say at the beginning of this thread...are more true than I ever could have imagined. Some kinda fall short...and there is a whole lot that I missed.

ty for your kind words though.
 
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Re: WOOT!!!!

EKVITKAR said:
WOOT !! Well Hell Son..Why didn't you say so ...

OK....Time for a PARTY!!!!!!

*Sniff* Sort of gives you a tear in your eye...Yah know?

:cool: grinz

Gee thanks dad lol
 
Re: Re: WOOT!!!!

RJMasters said:
:cool: grinz

Gee thanks dad lol

That AV is really scary.

and i hate silver type. If the occassion ever arises that you whisper me, please to it in red. It's my favorite color.
 
Re: Re: Re: WOOT!!!!

A Desert Rose said:
That AV is really scary.

and i hate silver type. If the occassion ever arises that you whisper me, please to it in red. It's my favorite color.

Aww its not that scary, and besides you can warm yourself by the fire. Anything to oblige a lady...tips hat. :rose:
 
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Re: Re: Re: WOOT!!!!

A Desert Rose said:
That AV is really scary.

and i hate silver type. If the occassion ever arises that you whisper me, please to it in red. It's my favorite color.
HI A D R... didya know there are alot of different reds to pick from :D
 
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Re: Re: Re: Re: WOOT!!!!

Kajira Callista said:
HI A D R... didya know there are alot of different reds to pick from :D

judas priest... how long did that take? LMAO

you crack me up. :kiss:
 
Re: Re: WOOT!!!!

RJMasters said:
:cool: grinz

Gee thanks dad lol

Welcome Hommes...Just keep in mind something I was just discussing with someone (who shall remain nameless).It's a progression...Starting small and building in intensity.

Though Hmmmm a party DOES sound pretty good....
 
Re: Re: Re: Re: WOOT!!!!

RJMasters said:
Aww its not that scary, and besides you can warm yourself by the fire. Anything to oblige a lady...tips hat. :rose:

Wait...damn it burned up...hate it when I do that...now I got to go get another hat.
 
Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: WOOT!!!!

RJMasters said:
Wait...damn it burned up...hate it when I do that...now I got to go get another hat.

Better be a white stetson.

Off to work now. Play nice kiddos.:kiss:
 
Re: Re: Re: WOOT!!!!

EKVITKAR said:
Starting small and building in intensity.

Though Hmmmm a party DOES sound pretty good....

Yeah, that's why I sent her in first so I could reign in. I figured since I had years stored up...it would be a good idea to keep a tight grip(winces at the pun). Thanks for the advice.

A party does sound good.
 
RJMasters said:
Speaking of cherries...

I lost my sad cherry today in RL. Still have that..."taking warm clothes out of dryer and putting them on feeling."

(Edit added below as explanation since some have asked.)

When I said "sad" cherry, I meant sadist cherry. Meaning simply that sexual activity has always aroused my sadistic tendencies, and rough sex ensued. This time was different. Most of you who know me, know that most of my experience is online...yet today my vamilla marriage of 18 years got a surprise. I have been revving for a few days, and finally when asked by my wife what was eating me, I blurted it out...well communicated a bit about what I have been feeling over the last few days. Told her there are times when I want to make love to her, times when I to have rough sex, and then there are just times when I want to use her as my play toy. When I was done I asked her if she could handle that about me. In a very shaky voice she said yes...and I told her good, go take off her clothes and get on the bed...I would be in shortly.

Long story short, sex wasn't the main driving force behind what happened next. A cpl of bite marks and having to hold her down as I rid my hands of thier itch. After about the 5th good smack on the ass...I asked how she was doing...as I checked her...she was niagra falls below...and only moaned and lifted her ass a little higher...and things just sorta fell into place after that.

and that's why I said I still had that..."taking warm clothes out of dryer and putting them on feeling." I sorta stepped outa of the closet and lost my "sad" cherry today.

Hope that cleared it up.

Oh...And I've had a conversation somewhat like that ...
Also with .......good......results.
 
AngelicAssassin said:
We've all heard the following masochist/sadist gag:

Masochist: "Hurt me! Please hurt me!"

Sadist: "No."

Bearing this in mind, and not attempting to be funny at all, here's a serious question for any and all that care to respond.

As a sadist, dealing with a pyl with high pinging masochistic tendencies, would deliberately delving in the activity quoted above do anything for the sadist in you?

LOL, he loves to watch me squirm and leave me wanting....it's just a matter of whether his need at the time is such he needs to quench his thirst anyway.

Catalina:rose:
 
Re: Re: <----Applauds wildly...

RJMasters said:
Have mixed "thoughts" about it.

I kinda realize why those I consider sadist are not so open and laid bare about certain things of themselves. They have extremely sharp wits with barbwire defenses, or are so wild in expression it is almost humorious. Both hide a deeper truth that is prolly best kept out of sight.

I know this...or am beginning to learn it quickly...when I started this thread, I didn't know what I know now...if I had...I probably wouldn't have started it...pauses...and thinks...I dunno.

Any happiness I feel over what happened, is mostly in that for the first time I was able to share something with my wife I have kept isolated from her all these years...and her ability as a woman to cope with that. Again she has showed me why I love and respect her more now, than I did when the day we met...and also I am just happy my hands have stopped itching so damn much!

As for being happy about what actually happened...I'm still sorting and processing. I know I enjoyed it...but some of the things I felt as it happened, are on such a deep level, I think I will just keep those to myself.

When I go back and re-read what some have shared in this thread, I have a new appreciation for them sharing what they have. Again I find myself coming full circle and having a deeper respect for those people I have come to know.

And I will add this..."some" of the things I did say at the beginning of this thread...are more true than I ever could have imagined. Some kinda fall short...and there is a whole lot that I missed.

ty for your kind words though.

:D Congratulations!!!! Now ain't that just the perfect demonstration of what we always say here?....communication is the key to happiness and bliss. Have you talked to her as yet about how she found it, whether perhaps she had been itching herself thinking you weren't, if she wants to try it again, how far she wants to go for now, safe words etc.? Seems your life might be just about ready to begin a whole new exciting phase.:)

Catalina:rose:
 
"Damn son..What that girl needs is a SERIOUS horse fuckin..."
LMFAO! ok, so the fact i'm doing the celibacy thing is starting to show?

been following this thread and wanted to ask if you were repulsed by your sadistic sides? i am...

personally, when my sadistic side takes over my compassion and common sense seem to switch of. i become a different me and it's not a me i'm comfortable with :(
i found that the more i indulged it the more extreme it grew and i lack the level of control that most of you seem to have.

the last time i let it out of the box to play...
we'd played. i'd bitten & scratched and lightly cut. *looked him in the eye, lifted his arm and kissed it gently, picked up the blade. looked him in the eye, flicked my wrist and with a single movement slashed down to the bone. looked into his eyes to drink in the shock and pain and disbelief. lifted his arm to my mouth and ran my tongue along the two inch slit, probing deep into the wound, feeling the muscles of his arm flinch and twitch beneath my hand, tasting his blood. i looked into his eyes and he spoke "you must really love me" and then we fucked* at the time it felt so good. the next day when he visited me after seeing the doctor i felt nothing but revulsion. i decided not to do this anymore coz it's more than i can control.
words to explain quite how good it felt at the time escape me.

i think i'll stick to subbing :( coz this isn't a game for little girls!

does anybody else feel this way about themselves? how do you live with this side of yourself the next day? when you slip into this place how do you keep control over the levels you go to? do you consider your sadism ugly or beautiful?
serious questions that trouble me deeply.

i would like to point out that the cut was placed away from any large veins and tendons and did no permanent damage other than the large scar.

:eek: xx
 
Re: Re: Re: <----Applauds wildly...

catalina_francisco said:
:D Congratulations!!!! Now ain't that just the perfect demonstration of what we always say here?....communication is the key to happiness and bliss. Have you talked to her as yet about how she found it, whether perhaps she had been itching herself thinking you weren't, if she wants to try it again, how far she wants to go for now, safe words etc.? Seems your life might be just about ready to begin a whole new exciting phase.:)

Catalina:rose:

Yes we talked afterwards.

The expression on her face during was all I needed to know how she found it, however I did ask her. Her response was laced with worry and visions of how this would end up with whips and chains(I gave her the "one could only hope" look, which made her eyes go wide lol). This sparked a interesting conversation between us, which led to laying out her limits. Not in a formal way...but more me describing things I would enjoy doing and why...and her agreeing to 90% of it. Her biggest concern was that I never would hit her in anger or use it as a form of rejection/resentment. As I was re-assuring her that those don't even come into play as to the why I do it...I also gave her a safe word...and told her that at anytime if she felt she needed to stop...she would just say it and I promised I would.

After we were done talking...she expressed she felt so much better...and she just laid there completely relaxed.

I think a big part of this is not just her accepting some things about me...but also experiencing an awakening of her own. I have mentioned before that she is such a natural submissive she doesn't even know it. She has also shown many signs before this during rough sex, such as me placing my hand around her neck will cause her to cum within 20 secs. I don't even have to squeeze, she just melts at the feeling of strength around her neck from my hand.

We have talked about some of this stuff before...and she likes it during, but mentally afterwards she feels a bit guilty for finding pleasure in it. She requires alot of aftercare and reassurance from me that I do not think she is a bad person(seriously).

What I found interesting about what happened, is that this didn't even come up as we talked afterwards, as I got the impression she wasn't focused on herself during it as much as she was focused of being used by me for my pleasure. Even though she enjoyed it, the guilt was absolved it seemed as she wasn't doing to get the pleasure for herself(that just happened), it was more about giving herself over to me for my pleasure.

I am sure as she becomes more comfortable in her own skin, the frequency will increase, however, for now...I am all about taking time with this. Reasons for myself as well as for her. Part of being married is also recognizing the relationship as a whole. This is a new piece which must be worked into that whole over time. I have waited 18 years, I think I got the hang of being patient :)

So I don't have any unrealistic expectations about what this might lead to, but I do know that I am happy with what happened, and am willing to let it grow in a natural way. I will let her know when my hands start to get that itch...giving her time to rev in anxious anticipation of what I am going to do to her next.

:)
 
dolf said:
LMFAO! personally, when my sadistic side takes over my compassion and common sense seem to switch of. i become a different me and it's not a me i'm comfortable with :(
i found that the more i indulged it the more extreme it grew and i lack the level of control that most of you seem to have.

The key for me is not to become another person. Sadism is an integral part of who I am.

To become another and push sadism into another part of yourself and then let the beast out to play sometimes is not to be advised. It sounds as if you are creating a Multiple personality disorder or a Bi-Polar disorder. Although it is easy to see the sadism as a beast that has invaded your soul and has nothing to do with whom you are, (I have been guilty of doing the same many times) it is not healthy. Once it has been escorted out of its cage it will not want to be put back in.

Embrace who you are so that you can control it. To control your sadism you have to acknowledge that you are a sadist. Enjoyment of pain is not bad whatever our parents and society might have told us.

We are what we are, if it is your nature to enjoy pain be it the giving or the receiving, it is best to accept it. Sometimes we sadist have a hard time accepting what we are. It is a difficult thing to accept that torturing others can create such intense pleasure. But if you want to stay mentally healthy and enjoy your life you will have to accept what you are. Your partner seems to accept and like that part of you, so you already have an excellent point to start from.

It is hard, it is difficult and it is going to take a lot of time, but at the end you will be a lot stronger and healthier and you will have learned to feed the beast without it taking.

Francisco.
 
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