Emily’s things I don’t advise you to do thread

[EmilyMiller]

Since the driver was Canadian, they rolled back about 5m.

 

[EmilyMiller]

5 minutes is a long time to roll backwards. Just how far away from this truck was Emily?

Not fucking far enough.

I was in the left hand turning lane. Had a car behind me, so couldn’t reverse. Had a car in the ahead / right turn lane next to me and traffic coming the other way, so was trapped.

Blared my horn, but he didn’t hear it.

Em

 

[SouthernCrossfire]

Never stop at a red light behind a semi with Quebec plates, lest they roll back 15” and crash into your stationary car.

Hope all is okay with that.

When I was at the highway patrol office getting my driver's license at 16, we were about to do the driving test when the officer said "What the heck?" At the nearby intersection, a guy stopped at the light before rolling back and hitting the car that stopped behind him. He pulled up a few feet and then rolled back and hit the driver behind again. The officer excused himself, jumped in his trooper car and hit the lights to drive the few feet down to the intersection. When he finally got back, he said the lead driver (who got the ticket) wondered why the guy behind him kept bumping him and he kept pulling up to get away from him. Fortunately, (1) bumpers were made of better stuff back then and (2) when we finally got to do the driving test, it was so late the test was quite short (four right turns around the extended block) and I passed.

 

[EmilyMiller]

Hope all is okay with that.

I’m fine. Thanks for asking.

My car will live, but needs a new front bumper.

Em

 

[MrPixel]

I’m fine. Thanks for asking.

My car will live, but needs a new front bumper.

But it was a scare from another's inattention and carelessness. A professional driver knows not to let his vehicle roll backwards in traffic situations, regardless of size.

If he was cited for careless operation, that's a lot of "points" assessed against his CDL. I don't know if there's a similar tracking of violation points between the US and Canada like there is between the States, but if there is, his license - and therefore his job - is at risk if he does this a couple more times. Glad you were able to get police attention with results.

 

[EmilyMiller]

But it was a scare from another's inattention and carelessness. A professional driver knows not to let his vehicle roll backwards in traffic situations, regardless of size.

If he was cited for careless operation, that's a lot of "points" assessed against his CDL. I don't know if there's a similar tracking of violation points between the US and Canada like there is between the States, but if there is, his license - and therefore his job - is at risk if he does this a couple more times. Glad you were able to get police attention with results.

He was far from a professional driver!

Em

 

[RejectReality]

Don't return after a long night of toilet-papering houses on Halloween and try to crash out without hitting the neighbor house of the host, when the host's parents can't stand those neighbors. You will all be awakened by said parents, have rolls of toilet paper shoved into your hands, and be supervised until the task is complete to their satisfaction.

 

[Bamagan]

Speaking of toilet papering houses... I cannot confirm with 100% certainty that this happened, but one of my uncles swears that he hooked up a sprinkler to the black water tank on his RV as a surprise for people TPing his yard. He's certainly the type of person who would do something like that, although it sounds less than entirely credible. But if you're ever in Baton Rouge and feel the urge to TP a house... well, you were warned.

 

[MrPixel]

He was far from a professional driver!

"Professional" in the sense he was driving the truck for pay. One doesn't drive semis as a hobby.

There are bad "professional" truck drivers everywhere. Heck, my little brother went to truck driving school and everything. Got his CDL, and on his first trip where he had to back the trailer into the lot, he backed straight into a guard shack, knocking it - with the hapless guard therein - off the foundation. His time as "professional" truck driver was mercifully short.

 

[RejectReality]

Don't repeatedly throw your sister's three-legged cat out of your bed unless you wish to awaken with a fragrant present left on your pillow the next morning. ( My brother LOL )

Tripod also peed in her now ex-husband's shoe, and then calmly walked over to scratch in the litter box while staring at him.

 

[OverconfidentSarcasm]

Am I the only idiot who reflexively tries to catch everything they drop with their foot?
Now, if it's something like an apple, I just kick it across the room and make it worse. But when it's a kitchen knife while loading the dishwasher...

 

[onehitwanda]

I can make a joke of this now, but I was rather shaken up earlier.

Never stop at a red light behind a semi with Quebec plates, lest they roll back 15” and crash into your stationary car.



Put the coffee fiasco into context I guess.

Em

 

[AchtungNight]

If someone in a New Year’s Eve crowd in the local entertainment district is suffering from mobility problems due to alcohol consumption, her friend can’t handle things alone, you see the problem, and no one else in the crowd is paying attention, I don’t advise you to ignore the problem also. I didn’t ignore this very problem when I saw it in 2009. Instead I helped the friend walk the girl to an ambulance and this good deed is a treasured memory today.

I also don’t advise people to assume someone is a driving jinx just because they’ve been in a few accidents (mostly as a victim in my case) and worry about them carpooling with you. Two friends of mine did this to me a few months ago after I wrecked my truck. Two weeks later, I had my new car, was driving home, saw an accident where the police hadn’t been able to respond yet. Guess who the victims were and guess who ended up pulling over, calming them down, talking them through their first traffic trauma, helping the cops direct traffic around the scene until enough help could arrive (other events in the area), and then driving them home. I didn’t recognize them till I got out of the car either.

True stories.

One more thing. Don’t presume people who write emotional erotica aren’t compassionate good people. I trust I don’t need to explain that further. Let’s just remind ourselves when Jerry Falwell died, Larry Flynt recognized him as a friend.

 

[RejectReality]

Am I the only idiot who reflexively tries to catch everything they drop with their foot?
Now, if it's something like an apple, I just kick it across the room and make it worse. But when it's a kitchen knife while loading the dishwasher...

I spent a decade stocking shelves in a grocery story. Anything I drop touches a part of my lower body about six times before touching the floor — if it does at all. Always called it "grocery feet". Otherwise, you waste a buttload of time cleaning up baby food, pickes, mayo, etc.

( It was all in glass back then )

Knives are the exclusion. Probably because I've been carrying and using one since I was just a wee lad. I have dropped one before, but the override kicks in and I get the hell away from it, rather than the normal response.

Wish that was true for stupidly heavy, toe-smashing things.

 

[ruddygore]

Never rear end a squad car at a stoplight.

 

[Kumquatqueen]

counterintuitively, the sharper a knife is the safer it is.

My friend didn't appreciate this after she cut off half her finger while not treating my knives with the appropriate respect.

Don't forget to treat both the knife and the object you're applying it to with appropriate respectful care.

I was using a heated scalpel to cut wax blocks off mounts so I could mount more specimens for analysis. Got distracted, blade cooled, I pushed it, and embedded the scalpel blade in the bone of my finger.

Was still bleeding 3 days later, and I still have a numb patch on that fingertip.

 

[onehitwanda]

Don't forget to treat both the knife and the object you're applying it to with appropriate respectful care.

I was using a heated scalpel to cut wax blocks off mounts so I could mount more specimens for analysis. Got distracted, blade cooled, I pushed it, and embedded the scalpel blade in the bone of my finger.

Was still bleeding 3 days later, and I still have a numb patch on that fingertip.

... Jesus Christ, that mental image just sent such horrible shivers up and down my back.

 

[Kumquatqueen]

... Jesus Christ, that mental image just sent such horrible shivers up and down my back.

 

[onehitwanda]

https://media.tenor.com/GDwGiNaAkl0AAAAM/badger-run-away.gif

 

[alohadave]

Am I the only idiot who reflexively tries to catch everything they drop with their foot?
Now, if it's something like an apple, I just kick it across the room and make it worse. But when it's a kitchen knife while loading the dishwasher...

My dad would say that your foot will heal, the knife won't.

 

[TxRad]

From experience, I find most ceiling fan injures are caused by ladies dancing on Bars.

 

[MediocreAuthor]

Bringing this back because:

If you're tall, don't do a really big stretch in a short room with a running ceiling fan.

Luckily it wasn't on high so it was just a minor ow. I wish I could say it was the first time I'd done it.

Damn girl! You must be a veritable giant! I can stand on my tip toes without touching my ceiling fan... btw, I'm writing a story about 7' tall Amazonian women, are you available as resource I can ask questions about being so tall?

 

[EmilyMiller]

Don’t put on coffee without putting this bit into the machine…

View attachment 2269419

Em

I fricking did it again .

Em

 

[Bamagan]

I fricking did it again .

Em

Sounds like a mental block.
Take two remedial shifts in a Starbucks (or equivalent) and see if that unclogs the ol' gray matter.

 

[TxRad]

I fricking did it again .

Em

No job for you at the AH coffee shop.