Emotional Composting

[inlovewithyourghost]

I suck at it. Can't count cards. I'll have Ulaven teach you. Then you'd be unbeatable. Especially if some of his talent, skill and luck rub off on you.

Luckiest person I've ever met. If there's a Goddess of Luck, she surely shines upon him.

Luck... now that's where we might differ. But hey. If I didn't have bad luck, I wouldn't have any luck at all!

 

[Recidiva]

Luck... now that's where we might differ. But hey. If I didn't have bad luck, I wouldn't have any luck at all!

I now believe that luck is a real thing. Mine is average to good.

But he and I play games online together, and over a pattern of years it completely defies any sense of odds. He always wins any good piece of gear. He's always rich, the best dressed, always thinks everyone else's gear (like mine...) is total crap.

It is. Because he gets the best of everything. I've seen many groups completely freak out and think he's cheating. I've also seen him play first person shooter games where he gets booted for "cheating" because his score is always the highest, and they assume he's hacked into the game. No, he's just really good, very fast, and combined with that, really lucky.

He doesn't really know what losing is like. It's unreal.

 

[inlovewithyourghost]

I now believe that luck is a real thing. Mine is average to good.

But he and I play games online together, and over a pattern of years it completely defies any sense of odds. He always wins any good piece of gear. He's always rich, the best dressed, always thinks everyone else's gear (like mine...) is total crap.

It is. Because he gets the best of everything. I've seen many groups completely freak out and think he's cheating. I've also seen him play first person shooter games where he gets booted for "cheating" because his score is always the highest, and they assume he's hacked into the game. No, he's just really good, very fast, and combined with that, really lucky.

He doesn't really know what losing is like. It's unreal.

I'm always have the best gear, too... But I DO cheat... Lol

 

[Recidiva]

I'm always have the best gear, too... But I DO cheat... Lol

I become a crafter in retaliation...I make all my stuff...still not anywhere near as good as his, but better than what I'd get by the luck of the draw.

I do cheat in Oblivion. I cheat codes for replay value.

 

[inlovewithyourghost]

I become a crafter in retaliation...I make all my stuff...still not anywhere near as good as his, but better than what I'd get by the luck of the draw.

I do cheat in Oblivion. I cheat codes for replay value.

I use the cheat codes to run around and familiarize myself with the area and find all of the secrets, then after I know what I'm up against and where to find my goodies, I do it legitimately on the hardest setting I can apply.

I consider it reconnaissances...

 

[Recidiva]

I use the cheat codes to run around and familiarize myself with the area and find all of the secrets, then after I know what I'm up against and where to find my goodies, I do it legitimately on the hardest setting I can apply.

I consider it reconnaissances...

Which games do you play?

I can't cheat on online roleplay stuff like WoW and Everquest...

I tend to enjoy playing games like Civilization on lowest difficulty setting because I hate seeing wars.

I like stuff like Alpha Centauri because I can win without going to war. Makes me happy.

 

[inlovewithyourghost]

Which games do you play?

I can't cheat on online roleplay stuff like WoW and Everquest...

I tend to enjoy playing games like Civilization on lowest difficulty setting because I hate seeing wars.

I like stuff like Alpha Centauri because I can win without going to war. Makes me happy.

I haven't played anything in a long time, actually. I'm not really that into the online games, though I was into Kingdom of Loathing for a while. I like anything by Black Isle... Bauldar's Gate, etc... I'm a huge Tomb Raider Fan. So is my mom... But she wasn't ever able to really get the controls, even though she made it through several levels. So she used to pop some pop-corn and make me play while she watched, and I would let her tell me what to do... Lol

I also like anything where I can be a sniper. I like Halo. Haven't played Halo 3, but I beat Halo 2 in two days... I definitely prefer pc to console, though.... But if we're talking about console, I like the Tenchu games. I mean... I'm a girl Ninja... with cool hair... and I can hang upside down from the ceiling and kill the undead... how cool is that? Not to mention poison rice balls. How can you go wrong with a game that let's you put poison rice balls in your arsenal? *nods*

 

[Recidiva]

I haven't played anything in a long time, actually. I'm not really that into the online games, though I was into Kingdom of Loathing for a while. I like anything by Black Isle... Bauldar's Gate, etc... I'm a huge Tomb Raider Fan. So is my mom... But she wasn't ever able to really get the controls, even though she made it through several levels. So she used to pop some pop-corn and make me play while she watched, and I would let her tell me what to do... Lol

I also like anything where I can be a sniper. I like Halo. Haven't played Halo 3, but I beat Halo 2 in two days... I definitely prefer pc to console, though.... But if we're talking about console, I like the Tenchu games. I mean... I'm a girl Ninja... with cool hair... and I can hang upside down from the ceiling and kill the undead... how cool is that? Not to mention poison rice balls. How can you go wrong with a game that let's you put poison rice balls in your arsenal? *nods*

Balder's Gate! Yay!

I suck at the First Person Shooters. I like roleplay games and magic usually.

I can't get past the TUTORIALS for most games. TUTORIALS. Tomb Raider is a platformer, requiring jumping and timing. I don't have that

Poison rice balls! Awesome.

 

[Recidiva]

Woke up this morning with the symbol and the ritual full blown.

Wanna hear? Okay!

There are sides to people, say you meet as chocolate and peanut butter and the contact is smooth, perfect and yummy. Effortless, addictive. (unless you're allergic to chocolate and/or peanut butter...then pick something else.)

But we don't always remain the same. If we're rubbing up against each other constantly we turn, we meet new sides, some equally delightful or moreso. Some not so great. Say we're rubbing up close and we've hit an oil and water patch. In order to stick together we have to shake ourselves up a lot. Nothing particularly wrong with that, except if the agitation is a problem.

When someone does not wish to be emulsified or chopped into bite sized pieces, they need to stop rubbing up against each other. Find a space.

So there's my food metaphor (of course it's food.)

ANYWAY. The ritual is this. In order for new things to grow a la the beginning of this thread's intent, there needs to be sunlight, clear water, a fresh patch of ground without weeds.

So now comes the pruning. Spiritually people can express themeselves to me in a bond that's a bit like a cord. I can cut that cord when I sense that a person wishes to be alone. I've been honoring that connection as I would a fossilized root on the ground, as if someday some miracle is going to breathe back life into it as it was.

New day, new life. The lesson is pruning. One I'm not so good with.

But if I change my symbols to addressing that cord, I can cut as I would an umbilical, curl it back into my heart and thank the person for sharing their life with me. Beautiful man...beautiful woman...thank you for your time.

No loose ends, no dead roots upon which to trip, and honoring not just the agitated shaking of oil and water, but the yumminess of the peanut butter and chocolate.

It was once, it can be again possibly, but if it isn't, it's okay. There's a patch of cleared ground where otherwise we might have gotten tangled up irrevocably in all the unanswered questions.

There are places I need to go or stay, places other people need to go or stay, and we can't be true to our whole selves and each other without growth and sunlight and agitation and pruning.

The answer is...thank you, time to go, hope to see you later. There's a clear patch of ground for when you get back, if you get back. In the meantime I hold you as a glow in my heart and not a loose end.

Thank you for everyone who helped me learn this.

Extra special bonus Jeopardy points to Vana for knowing answers to questions I didn't ask, and listening to the ones I did know enough to ask.

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

Everything lives its own lifetime.

 

[Recidiva]

Everything lives its own lifetime.

Yes, I am theoretically subscribing to the idea that we individually inhabit different universes as well. They intersect, but not everywhere. We have some common experiences or circumstances, but our interpretation of those experiences and circumstances vary wildly. The continuum of the individual mind.

It's a bit like we can inhabit language and use it, but it doesn't mean the same things exactly from person to person.

The metaphorical and the "concepts of negotiable affection" are not universally shared.

Since it's often a surprise to meet someone of like mind instead of par for the course, I like this model.

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

RECIDIVA

Yes, THE MAP IS NOT THE TERRITORY. Hayakawa coined the phrase. Everyone has to find a metaphor that makes sense to them.

 

[Recidiva]

RECIDIVA

Yes, THE MAP IS NOT THE TERRITORY. Hayakawa coined the phrase. Everyone has to find a metaphor that makes sense to them.

Exactly.

There's a tricky balance between reading your own map, reading someone else's map, and assuming that either of those people share a map.

I do believe we share signposts though. That's usually how I recognize people of like mind. They can describe somewhere I've been or where I usually visit. Something beyond the label of the place. Something that shows unique knowledge of the landscape.

To a certain extent also I have to realize I am a map and occasionally have labels to landscapes which to me are "fun" and "challenging" and to other people should really read "deathtrap" or "unbelievably boring."

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

RECIDIVA

Yep. Thats how I know if someone is full of crap. If their metaphor doesnt match mine in some way I figure theyre clueless.

 

[Recidiva]

RECIDIVA

Yep. Thats how I know if someone is full of crap. If their metaphor doesnt match mine in some way I figure theyre clueless.

That's where my "your universe is different from mine" theory kicks in.

Sometimes I find they're not full of crap. If I'm describing a bit of a landscape that I say, for instance...anger is a tall granite cliff...and they say "No, anger is nothing but pitch black" then I might either think they're in a different state of anger, or they're stuck inside the cliff. Where it would in fact be the same location, just a different perspective.

Rather like people who try to do remote viewing. I imagine if I tried remote viewing topographically I would likely end up with a viewpoint that makes no sense. I'd get stuck inside trash cans. "It's dark in here guys." "But where are the plans to the secret submarine?!" "Hell if I know, this thing has a lid." I'm much more about the practicalities of human perspective than I am about omniscience.

I try to make it work wherever possible. I can usually figure it out. Mostly people shoo me away though before I can and say "Stop bothering me, crazy lady!"

That's okay too. I'm a map collector.

 

[mismused]

delete

 

[Recidiva]

Your mind is not only amazing, but your perspective is perhaps even more so.

Thank you. m

Thank you for saying so, it's been lovely to get to know you better through this thread

 

[Nirvanadragones]

I thought of you today, Diva.

My 6 year old made her own prickly garden this afternoon. She chose a big wooden bowl that would hold the feelings that makes her feel uncomfortable, put soil in it, chose five miniture cactus plants, and named them according to the five personal feelings she has from time to time that she doesn't like. She planted the cacti and put stones and pebbles around them, and placed her Prickly garden on her desk in her bedroom. Whenever she feels prickly, she'll talk to her garden and watch her "uncomfortable feelings" grow into something beautiful.

I'll ask her if I may take a picture later and post it.

 

[Recidiva]

I thought of you today, Diva.

My 6 year old made her own prickly garden this afternoon. She chose a big wooden bowl that would hold the feelings that makes her feel uncomfortable, put soil in it, chose five miniture cactus plants, and named them according to the five personal feelings she has from time to time that she doesn't like. She planted the cacti and put stones and pebbles around them, and placed her Prickly garden on her desk in her bedroom. Whenever she feels prickly, she'll talk to her garden and watch her "uncomfortable feelings" grow into something beautiful.

I'll ask her if I may take a picture later and post it.

How lovely. Please tell her I'd love to see pictures if she'd let me have a peek.

My daughter and I used to put chocolate and candy out for her nightmares, just in case they were grumpy and needed a friend and a snack.

My son has recently decided that it's okay to make time for his friends to choose to come find him, rather than him always going to find them. Mommy's learning this lesson along with him.

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

It's called cognitive therapy: reframing experience. And it works great until the house burns to the ground or Fido gets run-over by a car or you learn cancer is eating mommy's brain.

 

[Recidiva]

It's called cognitive therapy: reframing experience. And it works great until the house burns to the ground or Fido gets run-over by a car or you learn cancer is eating mommy's brain.

Yes, reframing is helpful.

But you can reframe Fido and cancer also. Granted the frame isn't small, but it can get successfully better at perspective.

The Universe is a seriously insane, random and painful place. Being able to deal with that by realizing it's a seriously insane, random and painful place and accepting that, I think, IS sanity.

Except the denizens often treat that as dangerous denial, which it is not. Denial is pretending the world is as sane, rational and calm as you'd like it to be. It's different from being sane, rational and calm in the face of insanity, chaos and pain.

 

[MagicaPractica]

Alright, this last page made me add your thread to my favorites. I agree, it makes sense and reminds me of things I've worked out and since forgotten.

 

[MagicaPractica]

Yes, reframing is helpful.

But you can reframe Fido and cancer also. Granted the frame isn't small, but it can get successfully better at perspective.

The Universe is a seriously insane, random and painful place. Being able to deal with that by realizing it's a seriously insane, random and painful place and accepting that, I think, IS sanity.

Except the denizens often treat that as dangerous denial, which it is not. Denial is pretending the world is as sane, rational and calm as you'd like it to be. It's different from being sane, rational and calm in the face of insanity, chaos and pain.

I can buy the insane to a degree and definitely the painful but I see patterns, not randomness.

 

[Recidiva]

Alright, this last page made me add your thread to my favorites. I agree, it makes sense and reminds me of things I've worked out and since forgotten.

I'll forget it, and then I'll relearn it. Or it'll happen in what I think is a "new way" except it's not. It's the old thing and I haven't noticed the costume.

It's nice to have it written down so next time I can say "Wait...this sounds familiar..."

 

[Recidiva]

I can buy the insane to a degree and definitely the painful but I see patterns, not randomness.

Yes. To expand the point, I don't know what to expect - chaos, order, random event, meaningful event.

It's difficult to know hurt from harm.

It requires diving in for me to pick up on the pattern on what looks to be total chaos. But sometimes I've gone after a pattern only to discover something entirely invented.

"Wow, that person looks sane and strong and wise." turns into "Oh man, get away, get far away. That sanity, strength and wisdom is built on something likely to blow at any second."

Then again someone who looks entirely insane, once I get to the root of what they're going through, makes perfect sense. "How the hell did you survive that at all?"