Emotional Composting

[Recidiva]

I deal with the pain in a self destructive way....I'm learning how not to do that. I'm running out of skin.
I'm feeling better, thanks to a weekend with Cloudy and some Vana loving.

I'm not self destructive. But what I tend to do is refuse to pass through that land. Meaning I stay on one side of it. I occasionally need a push through. I might not do anything with it, but I do have to at least experience it, and get beyond it.

I know pain very well. Anger, though, I'm not all that in touch with in practice. I avoid it completely.

 

[cloudy]

I deal with the pain in a self destructive way....I'm learning how not to do that. I'm running out of skin.
I'm feeling better, thanks to a weekend with Cloudy and some Vana loving.

just hit yourself in the head with the remote, and it'll bring the weekend all back to you.

 

[ABSTRUSE]

just hit yourself in the head with the remote, and it'll bring the weekend all back to you.

I'll have the kids jump on me too.

I recommend Cloudy's wigwam of Love to all. Complete with live chickens, road trips and beer.

 

[Guest]

just hit yourself in the head with the remote, and it'll bring the weekend all back to you.

give her shower doors to destroy

 

[cloudy]

give her shower doors to destroy

those, too.

 

[Recidiva]

I'll have the kids jump on me too.

I recommend Cloudy's wigwam of Love to all. Complete with live chickens, road trips and beer.

I'm appropriately jealous.

Which means insanely.

 

[ABSTRUSE]

give her shower doors to destroy

BAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAAA naked, wet and in need.

 

[cloudy]

BAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAAA naked, wet and in need.

...and screaming my name.

(damn, that sounds so dirty)

 

[cloudy]

I'm appropriately jealous.

Which means insanely.

Door's open, anytime.

 

[ABSTRUSE]

...and screaming my name.

(damn, that sounds so dirty)

The reality was too damn funny.......first the kid bursting in then the damn shower door!

 

[Guest]

Door's open, anytime.

just not the shower doors

they dont open

so well

 

[ABSTRUSE]

just not the shower doors

they dont open

so well

No, they fall over

 

[ABSTRUSE]

I'm appropriately jealous.

Which means insanely.

You need to go, she feeds you.

 

[Recidiva]

Door's open, anytime.

*Snoopy happy dance*

 

[ABSTRUSE]

*Snoopy happy dance*

Beware of the shower doors!

 

[cloudy]

Beware of the shower doors!

and many small boys that squeal like girls - very loudly.

 

[ABSTRUSE]

and many small boys that squeal like girls - very loudly.

Like freaking girls!!!

 

[Recidiva]

Beware of the shower doors!

For cloudy I would brave scores of shower doors!

 

[ABSTRUSE]

For cloudy I would brave scores of shower doors!

She's a great hostess and takes you for rides and lets you chill and drink her beer.
She has beautiful eyes.

 

[Recidiva]

She's a great hostess and takes you for rides and lets you chill and drink her beer.
She has beautiful eyes.

Well, that sounds like heaven.

 

[ABSTRUSE]

Well, that sounds like heaven.

Its heaven with a cat and good food and road trips.

 

[cloudy]

Its heaven with a cat and good food and road trips.

Stella misses you. You're the only one that doesn't call her "stupid cat."

 

[ABSTRUSE]

Stella misses you. You're the only one that doesn't call her "stupid cat."

She can tell I like pussys.

 

[sophia jane]

I'm in need of a symbol. My compost mound is my concept, and one that works for me. It just describes where I am. It's just a natural part of what to do with the odds and ends and bits. Relationships that didn't sprout, or died suddenly, or wilted in a cold snap. Failure. And not failure I comprehend. All was well and then it just wasn't. It wasn't from something I did, and I keep trying to find a cause.

For me the closure doesn't come because I want to hang onto the mystery of what happens if I cling to the pain. Will it call people back to me? Is it my beacon, my banner, my way for those who I love to find me again?

Speaking to you now I know the path needs to lead to rebirth, but I need to do that myself. The symbol hasn't yet been grasped.

I want to know why still. I don't like not knowing the answers. Perhaps I think I will grow questionmark plants in this odd place.

You are and have always been, and continue to be, a lifeline and an inspiration.

How interesting to find this thread today when I was feeling so similarly about some parts of my own life and a few particular relationships that seem to have died for no obvious reason. Thanks for the thread and I wish you well on your journey.

 

[Recidiva]

How interesting to find this thread today when I was feeling so similarly about some parts of my own life and a few particular relationships that seem to have died for no obvious reason. Thanks for the thread and I wish you well on your journey.

Thank you. Perfect timing for me. Putting it into words made it more real. It's a bit like drawing a door I can walk through.