Endless Curiosity

[DarkSimian]

let me tell you...
When I came to Lit the last thing I EVER thought about was the idea of "hooking up" or "cybering", whatever the hell that was supposed to be.
"Playing" was something you did with your kids. And the ATM was where I got cash out at the bank.

A cream pie was made in the kitchen and eaten at a luncheon with coffee...

I was very naïve when I stumbled upon the goings on on the internet. I'd not used the internet for anything but research papers, and a chat room was where you went to actually talk with someone.
About gardening...
Or homework...


I was not sheltered, but this "world" was not part of my upbringing, my early adulthood, nor my 20 year farce of a marriage.

Needless to say, it was an eye-opener...

.....and this is why I'm considering moving into the cave next to NRJ

 

[numeniusa]

No...sometimes...not for Lit...and no. I was sent to the chatrooms by someone (long weird story), and found the forums shortly thereafter. I don't write for Lit because I've heard too many people who are excellent writers who have ridiculously hard times getting accepted and published, and then I see some of the drivel that DOES get accepted - I'm not wasting my time with it. (NOT saying it's all drivel by any means!)

Top 3 forums - PG almost exclusively, then BDSM with side trips to the GB or Fetish forums to lurk.

this is why I don't write for the public, either

Maybe that's why some people start their own prose threads? Some of those are really good. I like VT's, and Amal's, to name a couple.

 

[ViciousTease]

How do you deal with your average random PMs? The ones that come in from Litsters you’ve never interacted with on the board? Not the asshat ones, but the polite ones. Do you ignore or answer? Are they welcome? How much does content matter? Have you ever formed a friendship based of one?

Bonus Question: Do you ever send them? And if so, under what circumstances?

 

[PeteHulbert37]

How do you deal with your average random PMs? The ones that come in from Litsters you’ve never interacted with on the board? Not the asshat ones, but the polite ones. Do you ignore or answer? Are they welcome? How much does content matter? Have you ever formed a friendship based of one?

Bonus Question: Do you ever send them? And if so, under what circumstances?

The few that I recieve I politely welcome to Lit if they're new.

I send one if on board interactions lead me to believe it is welcome.

 

[RubenesqueAphrodite]

How do you deal with your average random PMs? The ones that come in from Litsters you’ve never interacted with on the board? Not the asshat ones, but the polite ones. Do you ignore or answer? Are they welcome? How much does content matter? Have you ever formed a friendship based of one?

Bonus Question: Do you ever send them? And if so, under what circumstances?

I very seldom get random PMs anymore. Must've been something I wrote somewhere...

I like I think I'm polite, though.

 

[Amalgamation]

How do you deal with your average random PMs? The ones that come in from Litsters you’ve never interacted with on the board? Not the asshat ones, but the polite ones. Do you ignore or answer? Are they welcome? How much does content matter? Have you ever formed a friendship based of one?

Bonus Question: Do you ever send them? And if so, under what circumstances?

I don't get randoms. I send plenty of randoms. And some not so randoms. I return every pm that I get, and I try my hardest to be polite in my messages. More than a few just get ignored, but I just Like sending them.

 

[Wild_Honey_66]

How do you deal with your average random PMs? The ones that come in from Litsters you’ve never interacted with on the board? Not the asshat ones, but the polite ones. Do you ignore or answer? Are they welcome? How much does content matter? Have you ever formed a friendship based of one?

Bonus Question: Do you ever send them? And if so, under what circumstances?

I answer all polite PM's, regardless of whether we've interacted, or whether they've ever posted (Ahem, Mr. Westfield). If the sender is engaging enough to hold my interest, I'm open to dialogue. But if they don't hit the ground running once they're in my box, I generally cut them loose after three messages.

Some guys don't seem to sense when a conversation is dead in the water and will go on for all eternity, it seems, saying nothing. I appreciate the fellas who leave politely after a visit has run it's natural course, and don't put me in the very awkward position of having to kick them out. I don't like having to do it, but I don't like having my time wasted, either.

Do I send them? Absolutely. i send them if i like their sense of humor, or if i like something they've posted in a discussion... avatar, sig line...if I've wanked to their profile pic ... so many reasons.

 

[Wild_Honey_66]

I don't get randoms. I send plenty of randoms. And some not so randoms. I return every pm that I get, and I try my hardest to be polite in my messages. More than a few just get ignored, but I just Like sending them.

This man knows how it's done right.

 

[SMNaughtywife]

How do you deal with your average random PMs? The ones that come in from Litsters you’ve never interacted with on the board? Not the asshat ones, but the polite ones. Do you ignore or answer? Are they welcome? How much does content matter? Have you ever formed a friendship based of one?

Bonus Question: Do you ever send them? And if so, under what circumstances?

Feels like I'm a damn magnetic to these random PMs. And not necessarily the peeps I see on the boards interacting, but the folks that have been on for years and years with only a handful of posts. "Great legs, want me to ...." or " Peter here, airline pilot waiting in for my next flight, want to Skype?" These I ignore. Also, anything sex related right off the bat, I ignore as well.

To me, something thoughtful wrote out is huge and will get you a reply. Make a reference to one of my posts, say something funny. Something to pique my interests.

 

[ydahecnot]

I answer all polite PM's, regardless of whether we've interacted, or whether they've ever posted (Ahem, Mr. Westfield). If the sender is engaging enough to hold my interest, I'm open to dialogue. But if they don't hit the ground running once they're in my box, I generally cut them loose after three messages.

Some guys don't seem to sense when a conversation is dead in the water and will go on for all eternity, it seems, saying nothing. I appreciate the fellas who leave politely after a visit has run it's natural course, and don't put me in the very awkward position of having to kick them out. I don't like having to do it, but I don't like having my time wasted, either.

Do I send them? Absolutely. i send them if i like their sense of humor, or if i like something they've posted in a discussion... avatar, sig line...if I've wanked to their profile pic ... so many reasons.

That is a tough moment, when you're the last one to send a PM and you sense at some point you are waiting in vain. I have sometimes tried to follow up when this happens, but that just usually makes it tougher. So I hope the decision to cut off is not taken lightly, if it's not a jerk or troll we are talking about. Then again, I can be a chatterbox, so I rarely let a convo drop; my convo skills usually do that for me.

 

[clearlight30]

A challenge that I find on lit now...it can be hard to meet someone you haven't interacted with...
say SM Naughty above.

Years ago it would just take a few posts in a few threads and there would be some space there to post a bit, get to know a person, decide if you want to chat a bit in private and know more about them ect.
Now I find that any post gets swallowed up by a lot of other posts real quickly, so the attempt now to sort of say hi on the boards can go out the window a bit, and just pm ing someone you haven't really talked with on the boards...even if you have been around for years....can be a bit tough actually.

I still do send a few pm's to say hi once in a while, just no where like i used to

Just an observation.

 

[Wild_Honey_66]

That is a tough moment, when you're the last one to send a PM and you sense at some point you are waiting in vain. I have sometimes tried to follow up when this happens, but that just usually makes it tougher. So I hope the decision to cut off is not taken lightly, if it's not a jerk or troll we are talking about. Then again, I can be a chatterbox, so I rarely let a convo drop; my convo skills usually do that for me.

I struggled for a long time over giving myself permission to leave a convo, and still struggle sometimes knowing how to do it. Guys would do us (and themselves) a huge favor if they would be more goal-oriented in their messages. Come in, say what you need to say, and get out. If i want to have a longer conversation with you, my tracking skills are pretty good. The sooner a guy makes his point and gets the fuck back out, the more likely I am to welcome him back another time.

 

[Inspirinious]

How do you deal with your average random PMs? The ones that come in from Litsters you’ve never interacted with on the board? Not the asshat ones, but the polite ones. Do you ignore or answer? Are they welcome? How much does content matter? Have you ever formed a friendship based of one?

Bonus Question: Do you ever send them? And if so, under what circumstances?

I think it is safe to say that women receive A LOT more random PMs than the men.

Given that, I do receive a few random PMs, usually about something I've posted on a thread, sometimes about one of my AVs, and a few times about a story I posted. I do appreciate these PMs. I am always* polite and I always reply.

* I once had a troll to my pic thread who gave me grief about my pics. I know the rule is to never respond to a troll, but I did for the challenge. We went back and forth for three days and he finally gave up. ​

And yes, I send "random" PMs. Sometimes I send a PM in response to something I seen posted on a thread. Sometimes I send a PM when I have seen the same person on several different threads, especially if we have had a conversation via posts. And I sometimes I send a PM to a newbie as a warm welcome to the Lit community.

I think that all the people I consider friends on Lit came as a result of me sending them a PM first. So I consider that sending a polite PM is the way to possibly initiate a friendship. Doesn't always go that way, and that is OK. But that is how I have the friends I have now.

 

[ydahecnot]

With the ratio here, the women have an overwhelming power regarding the PM dynamic, and, I'm sure, an overwhelming burden, too. I'm not, um, equipped to empathize, just giving the other side of the equation

 

[Wild_Honey_66]

With the ratio here, the women have an overwhelming power regarding the PM dynamic, and, I'm sure, an overwhelming burden, too. I'm not, um, equipped to empathize, just giving the other side of the equation

I would make a terrible celebrity.

No, you cannot have my autograph! Why aren't you in school? Where's your mother?!

 

[Amalgamation]

I struggled for a long time over giving myself permission to leave a convo, and still struggle sometimes knowing how to do it. Guys would do us (and themselves) a huge favor if they would be more goal-oriented in their messages. Come in, say what you need to say, and get out. If i want to have a longer conversation with you, my tracking skills are pretty good. The sooner a guy makes his point and gets the fuck back out, the more likely I am to welcome him back another time.

Makes sense. I'm slow to the punch, just cause I enjoy the revealing aspects of conversation, and getting to know someone in that vein. Then again, I often slow my gentlemanly side to win out in messages that could be to the point if I allowed it.

 

[Amalgamation]

With the ratio here, the women have an overwhelming power regarding the PM dynamic, and, I'm sure, an overwhelming burden, too. I'm not, um, equipped to empathize, just giving the other side of the equation

Well said.

 

[RubenesqueAphrodite]

I struggled for a long time over giving myself permission to leave a convo, and still struggle sometimes knowing how to do it. Guys would do us (and themselves) a huge favor if they would be more goal-oriented in their messages. Come in, say what you need to say, and get out. If i want to have a longer conversation with you, my tracking skills are pretty good. The sooner a guy makes his point and gets the fuck back out, the more likely I am to welcome him back another time.

And Aphrodite's Golden Apple Award goes to Wild_Honey_66 today...


Not to seem harsh, but if someone is obviously just chatting me up in hopes that I'll change my mind about cyber/long distance, it really irks me.

I love to talk about whatever, but (and I know this sounds ridiculous) if your goal really is only to gauge our sexual compatibility- regardless of how nice or polite you are- totally makes me want to just cry.

 

[Amalgamation]

And Aphrodite's Golden Apple Award goes to Wild_Honey_66 today...


Not to seem harsh, but if someone is obviously just chatting me up in hopes that I'll change my mind about cyber/long distance, it really irks me.

I love to talk about whatever, but (and I know this sounds ridiculous) if your goal really is only to gauge our sexual compatibility- regardless of how nice or polite you are- totally makes me want to just cry.

Lol. This probably sounds strange, but I never pm in hopes of gauging anything sexual. I just love conversing with people I find interesting.

 

[Wild_Honey_66]

*noms my award*

I love to talk about whatever, but (and I know this sounds ridiculous) if your goal really is only to gauge our sexual compatibility- regardless of how nice or polite you are- totally makes me want to just chop up your cock and feed it to you.

fyp

 

[RubenesqueAphrodite]

Lol. This probably sounds strange, but I never pm in hopes of gauging anything sexual. I just love conversing with people I find interesting.

It's just been my personal experience so far. I'm not saying that it's like that in every case or for everyone. I've had some very nice conversations with kept I've met here, but I've also had some pretty awful ones.

Lately, though, I've felt like pushing people away as far as I can get them and see which ones actually stick around. Childish, yes, but that's been my mood of late.

 

[RubenesqueAphrodite]

*noms my award*



fyp

lmao.... Thanks...

 

[Inspirinious]

I struggled for a long time over giving myself permission to leave a convo, and still struggle sometimes knowing how to do it. Guys would do us (and themselves) a huge favor if they would be more goal-oriented in their messages. Come in, say what you need to say, and get out. If i want to have a longer conversation with you, my tracking skills are pretty good. The sooner a guy makes his point and gets the fuck back out, the more likely I am to welcome him back another time.

I have learned that women, and men, vary in how they approach someone, and how they want to be approached themselves. So my inclination is to politely introduce myself, comment on why I contacted them, and then gauge their response. I know that rushing in, spouting something, and rushing out does not work with everyone. And that is not my style.

I do, however, appreciate your honesty Wild_Honey. We simply operate in different ways, in different worlds and it will always remain that way.

 

[AbsintheFather]

I've been here long enough now that I neither send or receive too many random pm's. I spend most of my time pm'ing with people I am already familiar with. It's not because I'm shy anymore or don't want to meet new folks, it's just because I choose to spend what time I have here nurturing existing friendships.

I'll still reach out occasionally if there's someone I want to get to know and they've got an established presence. Especially if they are active on the boards and I feel guilty for not having reached out before. I never start out with overt flirting or sex talk either.

Likewise, I'll respond favorably to a random pm received if it's someone I know from the boards. If it's someone I'm not familiar with, I give them a polite one-line brush off. I have no problem dropping a conversation if it's run it's course.

In this vein, I also like to have a couple pm conversations going with the same person simultaneously. It speeds up the interaction speed.

 

[Wild_Honey_66]

I have learned that women, and men, vary in how they approach someone, and how they want to be approached themselves. So my inclination is to politely introduce myself, comment on why I contacted them, and then gauge their response. I know that rushing in, spouting something, and rushing out does not work with everyone. And that is not my style.

I do, however, appreciate your honesty Wild_Honey. We simply operate in different ways, in different worlds and it will always remain that way.

This is perfect! It's the 'gauge the response' part that seems to trip some fellows up.