Endless Curiosity

[Inspirinious]

This is perfect! It's the 'gauge the response' part that seems to trip some fellows up.

So it is necessary to have the right touch? Take time to gauge a response, move things along, but don't drag things out needlessly?

Sounds about right to me.

 

[Wild_Honey_66]

...In this vein. I also like to have a couple pm conversations going with the same person simultaneously. It speeds up the interaction speed.

Smart man, smart man! I like to do this, too. And throw in an email convo with the same person, just to keep things hopping.

AF shy... *snort*

 

[Wild_Honey_66]

So it is necessary to have the right touch? Take time to gauge a response, move things along, but don't drag things out needlessly?

Sounds about right to me.

Yes. I mean, if they're new, then I want them to stay long enough for me to form an opinion, but it doesn't need to take all day.

 

[john7771]

Yes. I mean, if they're new, then I want them to stay long enough for me to form an opinion, but it doesn't need to take all day.

I have always been curious who honey really is?

 

[Endless_Night]

How do you deal with your average random PMs? The ones that come in from Litsters you’ve never interacted with on the board? Not the asshat ones, but the polite ones. Do you ignore or answer? Are they welcome? How much does content matter? Have you ever formed a friendship based of one?

Bonus Question: Do you ever send them? And if so, under what circumstances?

Those random ones are just plain awkward. If we've spent time in the same thread, no biggie. Those usually reference something that's been said and there's a jumping off point. But the ones that just drop in to say hello, what is there to say? I mean, really? I usually acknowledge the greeting, but rarely continuing after that first couple of PMs.

I get that people are tying to establish a connection, it's just not a great way to proceed with those that actively post. With other lurkers, sure, but posters are usually already engaging to some extent with other posters. Limited time, and all.

I used to try and answer all PMs, if reasonably polite. These days, I'm with SMNaughty. If it's sexual, I don't bother. Again, I don't have much to say to: Nice boobs. Same with people that inquire about personal information right off the bat. I had one guy ask my age in his first PM! FIRST PM!

Dude. Seriously. Where you raised in the wild?

I don't think I've formed a friendship from a random PM. Mine have all sprung from board interactions followed by PM.

I send them on occasion. Either as a question on something that's been posted or the occasional "good job" when I see an unpleasant board situation with grace.

 

[ydahecnot]

See, I've always thought a "hi, how are ya?" is fine as the main thrust of a PM. I have never really liked the concept of listing a bunch of standards in a profile one must follow to be responded to, essentially mandating an expository essay or a sonnet that says, essentially, "hi, how are ya?" Real convo in real life starts with small talk.

 

[Endless_Night]

I struggled for a long time over giving myself permission to leave a convo, and still struggle sometimes knowing how to do it. Guys would do us (and themselves) a huge favor if they would be more goal-oriented in their messages. Come in, say what you need to say, and get out. If i want to have a longer conversation with you, my tracking skills are pretty good. The sooner a guy makes his point and gets the fuck back out, the more likely I am to welcome him back another time.

This. OMG, this.

World War III has not just been declared, alien aircraft are not hovering in the sky, a catastrophic super virus has not escaped from an underground lab in Nevada, we're not in the middle of a zombie apocalypse.

THIS IS NOT YOUR ONLY OPPORTUNITY TO SEND A PM.

Geez. A funny comment or two. Again, when we run across each other in a thread. At some point that turns friendly if there's any type of compatibility. No need to be so pushy with the small (boring and impossible to respond to) talk.

 

[Endless_Night]

See, I've always thought a "hi, how are ya?" is fine as the main thrust of a PM. I have never really liked the concept of listing a bunch of standards in a profile one must follow to be responded to, essentially mandating an expository essay or a sonnet that says, essentially, "hi, how are ya?" Real convo in real life starts with small talk.

Now, see. This is totally fine, if you're interacting in the threads. Out of the blue, when you have no idea who the person is or anything about them, is a different - often awkward - kettle of fish.

I will say, though, this is probably a gender thing to a certain extent. Women just get more PMs.

 

[NorthRockJohnson]

.....and this is why I'm considering moving into the cave next to NRJ

Lol go for it! There's plenty of room

How do you deal with your average random PMs? The ones that come in from Litsters you’ve never interacted with on the board? Not the asshat ones, but the polite ones. Do you ignore or answer? Are they welcome? How much does content matter? Have you ever formed a friendship based of one?

Bonus Question: Do you ever send them? And if so, under what circumstances?

Anything cool and friendly is completely welcome. Why wouldn't it be?

And yeah, I PM on occasion. Mostly with people I already know. But if I don't know them I might send just a quick, friendly greeting if they're someone I've talked to on the board. Like "Thanks for making me laugh, you're awesome". Or "got any gash pics?" . Just kidding about that last one. But I make it a point to be respectful and friendly with anyone. I'd never want to weird anyone out.

 

[ydahecnot]

Now, see. This is totally fine, if you're interacting in the threads. Out of the blue, when you have no idea who the person is or anything about them, is a different - often awkward - kettle of fish.

I will say, though, this is probably a gender thing to a certain extent. Women just get more PMs.

I for sure understand that, I'm sure we men can be real prats....the other edge of the double-edged sword for women of being on the on-demand side of the ratio

 

[ydahecnot]

Lol go for it! There's plenty of room



Anything cool and friendly is completely welcome. Why wouldn't it be?

And yeah, I PM on occasion. Mostly with people I already know. But if I don't know them I might send just a quick, friendly greeting if they're someone I've talked to on the board. Like "Thanks for making me laugh, you're awesome". Or "got any gash pics?" . Just kidding about that last one. But I make it a point to be respectful and friendly with anyone. I'd never want to weird anyone out.

You were so not kidding

 

[Endless_Night]

I for sure understand that, I'm sure we men can be real prats....the other edge of the double-edged sword for women of being on the on-demand side of the ratio

Sure. And it's not even about men being prats, rather just a different perspective.

If you get two random PMs a month, just saying hello, that might easily be a positive experience. Two people wanting to touch base and get to know you better - Nice. However, if you get two random PMs a day, the charm could pall quickly. When some of those PMs are sexual or unsolicited cock shots, even quicker.

 

[ydahecnot]

Sure. And it's not even about men being prats, rather just a different perspective.

If you get two random PMs a month, just saying hello, that might easily be a positive experience. Two people wanting to touch base and get to know you better - Nice. However, if you get two random PMs a day, the charm could pall quickly. When some of those PMs are sexual or unsolicited cock shots, even quicker.

Yeah, cockatars and such are rude. The female sexual parts are beautiful to behold, and most women agree. The male sexual parts are beautiful only in context, that context not being in an av or a PM

 

[NorthRockJohnson]

You were so not kidding

Shhhh don't tell anyone.

 

[Endless_Night]

Yeah, cockatars and such are rude. The female sexual parts are beautiful to behold, and most women agree. The male sexual parts are beautiful only in context, that context not being in an av or a PM

Yeah. What is it with strange men that think all women want to see their, errr, stuff?

Shhhh don't tell anyone.

Quit flirting.

 

[DarkSimian]

Yeah, cockatars and such are rude. The female sexual parts are beautiful to behold, and most women agree. The male sexual parts are beautiful only in context, that context not being in an av or a PM

so, you're saying you don't like my profile pic?

 

[Wild_Honey_66]

The female sexual parts are beautiful to hold

fyp...

 

[ydahecnot]

That, too

 

[AbsintheFather]

Sure. And it's not even about men being prats, rather just a different perspective.

If you get two random PMs a month, just saying hello, that might easily be a positive experience. Two people wanting to touch base and get to know you better - Nice. However, if you get two random PMs a day, the charm could pall quickly. When some of those PMs are sexual or unsolicited cock shots, even quicker.

You've got to think that those folks who have an AmPics thread are looking to receive lots of feedback. So I'm thinking there are people who enjoy receiving lots of pm's from strangers. I'm thinking they get dozens after they post.

 

[Inspirinious]

You've got to think that those folks who have an AmPics thread are looking to receive lots of feedback. So I'm thinking there are people who enjoy receiving lots of pm's from strangers. I'm thinking they get dozens after they post.

Not really the case. I was active on AmPics for a few years, and became close friends with many other pic posters, male and female. Most wanted feedback on their thread, NOT by PM. Yes, some did like PMs, but only if they were polite.

 

[AbsintheFather]

Not really the case. I was active on AmPics for a few years, and became close friends with many other pic posters, male and female. Most wanted feedback on their thread, NOT by PM. Yes, some did like PMs, but only if they were polite.

Interesting. OK, that seems reasonable.

 

[Wild_Honey_66]

Not really the case. I was active on AmPics for a few years, and became close friends with many other pic posters, male and female. Most wanted feedback on their thread, NOT by PM. Yes, some did like PMs, but only if they were polite.

Yup. On-thread feedback is part of the fun!

 

[aussiegeekygal]

Yup. On-thread feedback is part of the fun!

I couldn't imagine the pm nightmare that a pic thread would unleash. I'm not interested in PMing with most people. If much rather play on the threads. There are a few that I enjoy chatting with, however it's too much work for most. It'd be like me giving out my cell number and being expected to answer every unsolicited text message. Nope!!

 

[ViciousTease]

How do you deal with your average random PMs? The ones that come in from Litsters you’ve never interacted with on the board? Not the asshat ones, but the polite ones. Do you ignore or answer? Are they welcome? How much does content matter? Have you ever formed a friendship based of one?

Bonus Question: Do you ever send them? And if so, under what circumstances?

Yep, still feels weird to quote myself.

So, random PMs ... I don't get many. I really don't. The few that I get are judged and handled appropriately.

If you are polite and friendly, I respond in kind. After 3 or 4 messages, I may even check your profile.

If you are are an asshat, I delete and move on. If you are a persistent asshat, I will explain to you why I am choosing to delete you and move on.

If I ask to see your cock ... I can't imagine why I would, but let's just say I wanted to see it ... then by all means, send away. If I didn't ask to see it, thrusting it in my face via PM is bordering on harassment. Fellas, ask yourself this ... "If I whip out my cock and show it to a complete stranger at the grocery store, would that be ok?" Exactly, so from now on, please assume I'm in aisle 3 looking for canned goods and put that damn thing away!

If you send me an unsolicited picture of your cock, you will get gay porn in return. Or worse.

Speaking of porn, I don't have a problem with receiving it via PM. From people I know, who know what would appeal to me and what wouldn't. Strangers shouldn't send strangers porn. (That sounds like a great bumper sticker.)

And for the love of granola, DO NOT send a woman you don't know, or barely know, a fetish picture and ask if it turns her on.

/End Rant

Not that it matters. The men who post in this thread are the good ones. We welcome PMs from you guys. It's the lurkers that will take my warning above and see it as an invitation to trade cock pics for gay porn.

Oh, and yes, I send random PM's. Not random like "that's a neat user name, I think I'll ask him what his spirit animal is". Random like "we've been chatting on the boards for a while and I'm curious about you" or "we frequent the same boards and you've been MIA, so I'm just checking on you". Of course, I do it with pizazz and as little asshattery as possible.

Nearly all of my Lit friendships started with me sending a random PM. Kinda weird now that I think about it.

 

[RubenesqueAphrodite]

Yep, still feels weird to quote myself.

So, random PMs ... I don't get many. I really don't. The few that I get are judged and handled appropriately.

If you are polite and friendly, I respond in kind. After 3 or 4 messages, I may even check your profile.

If you are are an asshat, I delete and move on. If you are a persistent asshat, I will explain to you why I am choosing to delete you and move on.

If I ask to see your cock ... I can't imagine why I would, but let's just say I wanted to see it ... then by all means, send away. If I didn't ask to see it, thrusting it in my face via PM is bordering on harassment. Fellas, ask yourself this ... "If I whip out my cock and show it to a complete stranger at the grocery store, would that be ok?" Exactly, so from now on, please assume I'm in aisle 3 looking for canned goods and put that damn thing away!

If you send me an unsolicited picture of your cock, you will get gay porn in return. Or worse.

Speaking of porn, I don't have a problem with receiving it via PM. From people I know, who know what would appeal to me and what wouldn't. Strangers shouldn't send strangers porn. (That sounds like a great bumper sticker.)

And for the love of granola, DO NOT send a woman you don't know, or barely know, a fetish picture and ask if it turns her on.

/End Rant

Not that it matters. The men who post in this thread are the good ones. We welcome PMs from you guys. It's the lurkers that will take my warning above and see it as an invitation to trade cock pics for gay porn.

Oh, and yes, I send random PM's. Not random like "that's a neat user name, I think I'll ask him what his spirit animal is". Random like "we've been chatting on the boards for a while and I'm curious about you" or "we frequent the same boards and you've been MIA, so I'm just checking on you". Of course, I do it with pizazz and as little asshattery as possible.

Nearly all of my Lit friendships started with me sending a random PM. Kinda weird now that I think about it.

*looks for a cock pic*

Ok, not really.. gay porn is "okay", but I don't need it inboxed to me, tyvm. I like how the men handle each other. Lesbian porn does nothing for me. (I'm really, REALLY, sorry! I've tried to like it, but I just can't)