Fantasy you vs. Real you....where do you draw the line?

[Cyberbella]

Is it too late for me to say I'm only here for the dick pics and cyber sex? LOL

TOTALLY KIDDING!

 

[blulilacgrl]

I think people here are their most true selves. The cloak of the internet protects them. It's pretty easy to spot others that are just putting on a show.

That's interesting. How do you spot that? What tells you that someone is being fake?

 

[blulilacgrl]

Is it too late for me to say I'm only here for the dick pics and cyber sex? LOL

TOTALLY KIDDING!

Hey if that's your thing and as long as you're honest about it...

 

[Matthew82]

Is it too late for me to say I'm only here for the dick pics and cyber sex? LOL

TOTALLY KIDDING!

That's interesting. How do you spot that? What tells you that someone is being fake?

See, Cyberbella's quote is an easy spot! She's totally here for those. J/K

Blu - just a gut instinct. Tryhards are either indications of youth or perhaps trolling.

 

[Matthew82]

I had problems trying to be 'fantasy girl' in the beginning. And this led to everyone being satisfies but me.
Then I just settled in to being myself - all the awkward, silly dorkiness +plus+ all the filthy, kinky fuckery.

Weirdly most people like that so...

Silly dorkery and fun fuckery are where it's all at!

 

[Matthew82]

Lol well I agree!

If you're not smiling while getting all turned on, what's the point?

 

[Eisranac]

I'm real, and very reserved about myself and who I am as a person.

1. If someone doesn't accept me for who I am and moves on, that's fine.
   
2. If someone accepts me for who I am and wants to get to know me better, that person is more than welcome to do so.
   
3. If someone thinks about me euphemistically enough towards the fantasy aspect — well, I don't get it and certainly don't encourage it, but I will usually interject my modesty to attempt to tone it down.

I see all three scenarios as opportunities to learn more about myself as a person and how others perceive me as well as learning more about other people.

 

[Matthew82]

Words to live by!

Should I make it a t-shirt?

 

[sallycee]

So it's the internet and there is a good bit of anonymity to be had but how far do you let that go? Are you comfortable with people you are chatting with creating a fantasy of you? Or do you insist on keeping it 100% real? Or do you fall somewhere in the middle? And if so where do you draw the line?

I think I fall somewhere in the middle. If the person I'm chatting with wants to think I'm sweet and kind and all that. Meh. I'll let them. I figure it will all come out at some point. I will usually make an initial disclaimer but if they want to continue believing what they believe... okay.

However I'm not that way when it comes to my physical features. For example, I will be very clear about the fact that I am fat. By every objective measurement I am what I am and I won't let someone even remotely skate over that with comments like "oh I'm sure you're not as fat as you think you are" or "well you don't look fat in your pictures".

So what about y'all? How do you handle it when someone has an image of you that isn't real at all? Do you let it ride or shut it down?

I fall somewhere in the middle too...... I draw the line at running away together. haha...... I am really not a very serious person..... I like getting to know different people and I try not to mislead anyone......

 

[Matthew82]

And a bumper sticker.

I should be able to retire off this right?

 

[lovetopleasewomen]

Is it too late for me to say I'm only here for the dick pics and cyber sex? LOL

TOTALLY KIDDING!

Sorry. I don't share your enthusiasm.

I like that line! What's the song?

My all time fav,,,GBNF


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=siuXtG4-Tbo

 

[blulilacgrl]

My all time fav,,,GBNF


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=siuXtG4-Tbo

 

[Lord Pmann]

Full disclosure- that’s not me in my avatar or profile pic.

I’m not a fan of the fantasy. I would rather the real person. I want to know who they are, what makes them move, etc. I don’t desire the anonymous, fantasy stuff anymore. I get the appeal. Not my thing.

Some of you might be shocked to know that I’m not just the sweet guy that you all know from the forums. I can be a little crass and sarcastic in more personalized conversations. So someone who wants fantasy pmann will need to understand I can be a bit of a pill sometimes.

Physically, I don’t take pics to obscure this or that. Am I Bradley Copper? He fucking wishes. But seriously, I don’t try to be a fantasy for anyone. I have a healthy enough self-esteem to feel like I’m good enough as I am- the pudgy fucker that is pmann. I’m happy with how I look. Would I change some shit? Of course. But I am still okay with who that is.

 

[blade_rocknut]

Lit receives a more honest version than does the general public. Y'all see much more of me, not only in square inches of skin, but especially in terms of what makes me tick.

I do avoid political discourse here, and I am quite opinionated thusly, but find this a particularly odd medium in which to discuss such matters.

I'm just a weird candidate for this question. I cover up the real me every day at work to avoid upsetting others' delicate sensibilities.

 

[Wild_Honey_66]

Newsflash ladies: a woman can be fat and sexy all at the same time.


When I was new, i sugar coated my description. 'Small boobs, full thighs, ass for days.' I needn't have worried, turns out plenty of men are down with the squish. I've always been open about sharing pics with friends anyway, so any misconceptions they may have had about my looks would be set straight early on. It's never been a problem.

I don't see the appeal in being a fantasy version of myself, it seems counter-productive. I want my friends to know the real me as i want to know the real them. If i like a guy and he's got a little dick, I want to see his little dick. Or bald head or tiny ass or whatever, because he's my friend. If i have a girlfriend with a jiggly belly, I want to see her jiggly belly. It's part of her, and if i like her then i want to know her, perceived flaws included.

Real is vulnerable, real is intimate, real is what turns me on.

 

[LegendaryALT]

So it's the internet and there is a good bit of anonymity to be had but how far do you let that go? Are you comfortable with people you are chatting with creating a fantasy of you? Or do you insist on keeping it 100% real? Or do you fall somewhere in the middle? And if so where do you draw the line?

I think I fall somewhere in the middle. If the person I'm chatting with wants to think I'm sweet and kind and all that. Meh. I'll let them. I figure it will all come out at some point. I will usually make an initial disclaimer but if they want to continue believing what they believe... okay.

However I'm not that way when it comes to my physical features. For example, I will be very clear about the fact that I am fat. By every objective measurement I am what I am and I won't let someone even remotely skate over that with comments like "oh I'm sure you're not as fat as you think you are" or "well you don't look fat in your pictures".

So what about y'all? How do you handle it when someone has an image of you that isn't real at all? Do you let it ride or shut it down?

I believe I keep it , with the exception of role-play. Saying things like, I'm going to fuck you all day and night, isn't reality for me anymore lmao. Don't get me wrong, I could still handle mine and get more knowledgeable as I get older.

The perception of me online, compared to reality is different, I'm loved well liked by most in person, online perception is much different. I take full responsibility for the perception, I think online in an open forum I get caught up in the debate, as in real life I look at the person speaking and see them as a person with feelings. In a debate in real life, I give the same answers I do online, but if I see someone hurt, I am more sympathetic and try to make amends immediately.

I'm also more of a sucker for a sob story online, in person I read a person much better and get more of a feel for the truth

In person people don't fuck with me, online people will be more disrespectful, no threat of consequences

 

[Xerxes82]

Meh. I try to be as real as possible. I'm a short, fat dude. Nobody fantasizes about me. And I wouldn't believe anybody who said otherwise anyway, so there is that. Honestly, it's taken so many years to just be comfortable being me, even if, maybe especially if, you know that means people will be disappointed or disinterested, that I don't much care to try and be someone else. Which doesn't mean I don't catch myself on occassion, and feel like a damned fool.

The fantasy is always intoxicating. Filling in the holes in what you know about someone with what you'd like them to be. But it's a hollow thing. I'd rather know someone for who they are than who I wish they were.

That said, I've always struggled to connect with people. I might feel differently if social stuff came easy and there were always people around. It's just too much work to worry about being some fantasy as it is.

Newsflash ladies: a woman can be fat and sexy all at the same time.


When I was new, i sugar coated my description. 'Small boobs, full thighs, ass for days.' I needn't have worried, turns out plenty of men are down with the squish.

This, 100%. I love women of many shapes and sizes, but the body type that I've always been weak to could easily be described as "fat." Never made a difference to me. Sexy is sexy, whatever it's size.

 

[Wild_Honey_66]

This, 100%. I love women of many shapes and sizes... Sexy is sexy, whatever it's size.

It has been my experience since coming to Lit that this is the way most men feel. It's definitely made a difference in how i see myself in terms of my own sex appeal.

 

[base10]

It has been my experience since coming to Lit that this is the way most men feel. It's definitely made a difference in how i see myself in terms of my own sex appeal.

If I'm interacting with you, it's because I'm interested in you. So that's what I want to see and experience

 

[mulehead61]

I like that line! What's the song?



It's not so much about me being real. Sometimes though people don't want real. So even when you are trying to be honest and forthright, they discount it.

Have you ever been chatting with someone and within 3 messages they are making assumptions about you. And when you go to correct them they don't believe you?




How far will you go to get them to see the real you over their fantasy version?

I’ve had several relationships here over the years and I showed them the real me fairly quickly. I didn’t want to mislead anyone or have them be disappointed if the “real” me didn’t stack up to the fantasy they had of me. It worked out well for the most part...

 

[chame1eon]

I’ve had several relationships here over the years and I showed them the real me fairly quickly. I didn’t want to mislead anyone or have them be disappointed if the “real” me didn’t stack up to the fantasy they had of me. It worked out well for the most part...

That's the other thing. Do want people to be surprised in a good way.

That's why when I was dating and had a dating profile I didnt use the most flattering pictures I could find.

 

[Wild_Honey_66]

This morning i watched a chunky young woman in a mini sweater dress walk across the parking lot in front of the grocery store. My knee jerk reaction was to assess her body as if it were my own. She had short, sturdy legs like i do, and i thought she wasn't doing herself any favors wearing those Birkenstocks. The horizontal stripes weren't helping matters, either.

Guys, if you don't know this, there is almost always an article in every women's magazine telling us what we should wear and what we can't wear based on our body type. For instance, because i inherited my dad's tree trunk legs( ), the rules say that i can never wear kitten heels. Have you seen kitten heeled shoes? They are the most flirty, feminine shoes in existence, and they have Honey written all over them. Now i can go ahead and wear kitten heels and say FUCK YOU to those magazine articles that i read from 15 to 35, but there will still be a little voice telling me that people are wondering who i think i am, wearing delicate little shoes with my big ol' cankles. We are hardest on ourselves, and it doesn't go away like a switch being turned off just because we learn we are wrong.

Back to my story. So i was feeling sympathetic for this young woman, because the media tells us that the whole point of looking our 'best' is to feel worthy and to win people's approval. Subconsciously i wanted her to have that, wanted her to be loved and accepted. Finally my rational brain kicked in and i thought, 'Hang on! I'm looking at her through the eyes of a woman with body issues. How about we see what she looks like through the eyes of a man?'

Well... she looked good! Her dress was 'body conscious' but it wasn't tight, the hem hit her legs at a flattering spot, and although she didn't have much of a waist, she had enough curve in her bum to sway a little bit as she walked. I decided a typical man probably wouldn't even notice her footwear because he'd be imagining what her ass would feel like in his hands.

It occurred to me that most women don't consider the fact that men have seen normal, naked women before. They know what tummy rolls look like, and stretch marks, and everything else we worry about. They have seen it and it doesnt put them off and they would be happy to see it again - as soon as possible. So if they like what we look like naked, why am i worried about what we look like clothed?? We are wasting our energy worrying over what is essentially a non-issue.

Since coming to Lit, i have made an intentional effort to look at women (and myself) through a man's gaze. And you know what I've discovered?

Damn, we pretty.

 

[QuietCanadian]

This morning i watched a chunky young woman in a mini sweater dress walk across the parking lot in front of the grocery store. My knee jerk reaction was to assess her body as if it were my own. She had short, sturdy legs like i do, and i thought she wasn't doing herself any favors wearing those Birkenstocks. The horizontal stripes weren't helping matters, either.

Guys, if you don't know this, there is almost always an article in every women's magazine telling us what we should wear and what we can't wear based on our body type. For instance, because i inherited my dad's tree trunk legs( ), the rules say that i can never wear kitten heels. Have you seen kitten heeled shoes? They are the most flirty, feminine shoes in existence, and they have Honey written all over them. Now i can go ahead and wear kitten heels and say FUCK YOU to those magazine articles that i read from 15 to 35, but there will still be a little voice telling me that people are wondering who i think i am, wearing delicate little shoes with my big ol' cankles. We are hardest on ourselves, and it doesn't go away like a switch being turned off just because we learn we are wrong.

Back to my story. So i was feeling sympathetic for this young woman, because the media tells us that the whole point of looking our 'best' is to feel worthy and to win people's approval. Subconsciously i wanted her to have that, wanted her to be loved and accepted. Finally my rational brain kicked in and i thought, 'Hang on! I'm looking at her through the eyes of a woman with body issues. How about we see what she looks like through the eyes of a man?'

Well... she looked good! Her dress was 'body conscious' but it wasn't tight, the hem hit her legs at a flattering spot, and although she didn't have much of a waist, she had enough curve in her bum to sway a little bit as she walked. I decided a typical man probably wouldn't even notice her footwear because he'd be imagining what her ass would feel like in his hands.

It occurred to me that most women don't consider the fact that men have seen normal, naked women before. They know what tummy rolls look like, and stretch marks, and everything else we worry about. They have seen it and it doesnt put them off and they would be happy to see it again - as soon as possible. So if they like what we look like naked, why am i worried about what we look like clothed?? We are wasting our energy worrying over what is essentially a non-issue.

Since coming to Lit, i have made an intentional effort to look at women (and myself) through a man's gaze. And you know what I've discovered?

Damn, we pretty.

Yes, you are pretty!

 

[Sundayschild]

I must confess to selective use of English colloquialisms when playing. Not quite acting - just adding a little flavour to the hypothetical.

 

[biwifecurious]

I let people know the real me.. My weight nor age doesn't define who I am. If you are willing to get to know me for who I am - I can bet you will like me.. LOL well if you like a self confident woman with flaws and can admit them.

Some women have a tendency to OVER critique themselves and for the most part the gentlemen or ladies that we spend time with prove that we are wrong. If they keep coming back there is something there that impresses them or they wouldn't waste their time.