Fantasy you vs. Real you....where do you draw the line?

[enigma3]

I let people know the real me.. My weight nor age doesn't define who I am. If you are willing to get to know me for who I am - I can bet you will like me.. LOL well if you like a self confident woman with flaws and can admit them.

Some women have a tendency to OVER critique themselves and for the most part the gentlemen or ladies that we spend time with prove that we are wrong. If they keep coming back there is something there that impresses them or they wouldn't waste their time.

very well put.

 

[biwifecurious]

very well put.

Thank you

 

[JennyNo1]

This morning i watched a chunky young woman in a mini sweater dress walk across the parking lot in front of the grocery store. My knee jerk reaction was to assess her body as if it were my own. She had short, sturdy legs like i do, and i thought she wasn't doing herself any favors wearing those Birkenstocks. The horizontal stripes weren't helping matters, either.

Guys, if you don't know this, there is almost always an article in every women's magazine telling us what we should wear and what we can't wear based on our body type. For instance, because i inherited my dad's tree trunk legs( ), the rules say that i can never wear kitten heels. Have you seen kitten heeled shoes? They are the most flirty, feminine shoes in existence, and they have Honey written all over them. Now i can go ahead and wear kitten heels and say FUCK YOU to those magazine articles that i read from 15 to 35, but there will still be a little voice telling me that people are wondering who i think i am, wearing delicate little shoes with my big ol' cankles. We are hardest on ourselves, and it doesn't go away like a switch being turned off just because we learn we are wrong.

Back to my story. So i was feeling sympathetic for this young woman, because the media tells us that the whole point of looking our 'best' is to feel worthy and to win people's approval. Subconsciously i wanted her to have that, wanted her to be loved and accepted. Finally my rational brain kicked in and i thought, 'Hang on! I'm looking at her through the eyes of a woman with body issues. How about we see what she looks like through the eyes of a man?'

Well... she looked good! Her dress was 'body conscious' but it wasn't tight, the hem hit her legs at a flattering spot, and although she didn't have much of a waist, she had enough curve in her bum to sway a little bit as she walked. I decided a typical man probably wouldn't even notice her footwear because he'd be imagining what her ass would feel like in his hands.

It occurred to me that most women don't consider the fact that men have seen normal, naked women before. They know what tummy rolls look like, and stretch marks, and everything else we worry about. They have seen it and it doesnt put them off and they would be happy to see it again - as soon as possible. So if they like what we look like naked, why am i worried about what we look like clothed?? We are wasting our energy worrying over what is essentially a non-issue.

Since coming to Lit, i have made an intentional effort to look at women (and myself) through a man's gaze. And you know what I've discovered?

Damn, we pretty.

Just saw this - brava, Honey!

 

[Deleted member 3041612]

When I first came on Lit, I thought there were things expected of me because this is a porn site. Go with the flow.

In PM's I gave you the real me, sprinkled with a bit of fantasy. This was at first. On threads, I gave a flirty version of me. My descriptions of myself were/are 100% real. I always tried to accentuate the positive, no matter if I thought differently. There were times I hurt feelings, and was really cruddy to some very nice people. For that, and those whose feelings I may have hurt, I extend my apologies to you now. I have changed that side of myself that was considered selfish.

My descriptions are always real of myself, however, I BELIEVE THEM MORE NOW, than I once did. What I put on threads, to a certain extent, is a part of me as well. I just don't act on those, yet they are a part of me. Real thoughts. Unless I say I'm not one to do that, the thought was there. I may CONSIDER things, yet I may not have tried them.

It took a long time for me to accept the physical part of me as I've shared. I still struggle with body image because of what society puts out there, even how judgemental those in my growing environment was. Through my being here, the positive feedback I've gained let me see the real me in the physical sense and I am alright. It's when I allow the media or those in my environment cloud my judgement and shape me as person, that my judgement of myself becomes critical. Having six-pack abs, doesn't make you healthy. Those people have issues too. I consider myself robust, voluptuous, juicy, and soft. This sounds a whole lot more descriptive and detailed than fat, pudgy, stocky, and obese.

 

[LegendaryALT]

Fantasy me hmmmmmm
Not speaking and lit, Fantasy me or perception I'm my personal life is different. Most get to see the best of me, but don't realize why. I try to always smile and be positive, because I've been through a lot. Most don't know, my inner thoughts. I am also seen as very strong

On lit it's different

 

[AchtungNight]

This has evolved over time for me. Mostly I just be myself, let the audience react to me as they will, and correct their impressions when it seems necessary. Fantasy me is idealized, real me less so. I can handle the difference, hope the audience can also. But it has taken me to middle age to understand this approach is best and be comfortable with it. And I only have one ex-wife right now.

 

[Mrtenant]

I hung up the long underwear and cape a long time ago after it wouldn't fit over the beer belly