Female Lit authors: How much unsolicited sexual advances have you dealt with as a result of your writing?

[AlexBailey]

Not to sound glib, but I think we can all agree on the common ground that as soon as you've upset or irritated a reasonable person with your actions, then you've failed to maintain decency.

I think that most of us can agree that overt, unrequested sexual communication is indecent.

Being glib, who are “we” and who is a “reasonable person” here?

To further my example, a “reasonable person” could assume that walking through a public park naked is going to subject some people to uncomfortable situations, but that same “reasonable person” would understand there is a different expectation at a private place where nudity is allowed.

What is Literotica? Do you define it for everyone?

If “we” are all of the users of Literotica there is a wide range of what a “reasonable person” is depending on how they view this place.

Is there an official definition of what the literotica forum is? Can you quote the rules?

 

[stickygirl]

The idea that 5’1” me could carry Simon is a little fanciful .

Em

It's okay - he's like Dobby

 

[Zootonius]

The idea that 5’1” me could carry Simon is a little fanciful .

Em

Not like tentacle sex or anything...

 

[Zootonius]

Especially now. I'm 6 feet tall and I'm not going to say what I weigh, but let's just say I'm at the beginning of my 3-month diet plan.

Don't underestimate @EmilyMiller's abilities. I think she could beat me at arm wrestling.

 

[Djmac1031]

Don't underestimate @EmilyMiller's abilities. I think she could beat me at arm wrestling.

She's definitely smarter than me. Probably come up with some mathematical formula that would give her superior leverage or something.

 

[pink_silk_glove]

I actually don't really have an issue with unsolicited advances. It's effectively a porn chat site, so I signed up for it. What do I expect?

Now I will even admit that if I got a random PM from some random guy that said all the sexy things that I want to hear I'm sure that I'd be pretty excited! The trouble is, it's never really what I want to hear. That's okay though, like I said, it's a porn chat site. If you have a feminine screen name (or sometimes even if you don't) this stuff comes with the territory.

I'm also completely anonymous here so I am in no real life danger.

What I do is just politely decline, or in rare instances when the message is particularly rude I will perhaps sarcastically decline. The only time that it becomes a real problem is if the guy doesn't take no for an answer and there are moderators and an ignore function for that (or I'll seize the opportunity to have an exchange of biting sarcasm and brash potty-mouth putdowns with the dumbass which can actually be quite enjoyable).

 

[AlexBailey]

I actually don't really have an issue with unsolicited advances. It's effectively a porn chat site, so I signed up for it. What do I expect?

Now I will even admit that if I got a random PM from some random guy that said all the sexy things that I want to hear I'm sure that I'd be pretty excited! The trouble is, it's never really what I want to hear. That's okay though, like I said, it's a porn chat site. If you have a feminine screen name (or sometimes even if you don't) this stuff comes with the territory.

I'm also completely anonymous here so I am in no real life danger.

What I do is just politely decline, or in rare instances when the message is particularly rude I will perhaps sarcastically decline. The only time that it becomes a real problem is if the guy doesn't take no for an answer and there are moderators and an ignore function for that (or I'll seize the opportunity to have an exchange of biting sarcasm and brash potty-mouth putdowns with the dumbass which can actually be quite enjoyable).

Your post is in line with the owners of this site.


https://www.literotica.com/faq/forum/forum-rules

From the forum guidelines:

“You might not always agree with what other members post on the forum, and those users might not agree with what you post. The administrators here don’t believe they are anyone’s parents nor are they anyone’s Jiminy Cricket. It’s up to individual users to be responsible for themselves. If another user is offending you, but not breaking the rules, the forum software developers have added an ignore function for your convenience. Just click on the name or avatar of the user you don’t want to see anymore and add them to your ignore list.“

 

[MediocreAuthor]

Is there an official definition of what the literotica forum is? Can you quote the rules?

I can quote the rules which forbids dick pics.


Now I know that tons of people violate this rule, and no one seems to care. I don't really care either. I've seen tons of pfps that feature penises.

But don't contact me and ask me to look.

If you're breaking the rules, don't involve me.
That's reasonable.

 

[AlexBailey]

I can quote the rules which forbids dick pics.

View attachment 2292086
Now I know that tons of people violate this rule, and no one seems to care. I've seen tons of pfps that feature penises. But don't contact me and ask me to look.

If you're breaking the rules, don't involve me.
That's reasonable.

Yes. I completely agree that dick pics violate the rules of picture posting, however the subject of this thread isn’t specifically limited to dick pics.

 

[Zootonius]

She's definitely smarter than me. Probably come up with some mathematical formula that would give her superior leverage or something.

I do know, if I got into a serious repartee with @EmilyMiller (or @onehitwanda, for that matter) I'd be reduced to this guy,

 

[Djmac1031]

Now I know that tons of people violate this rule, and no one seems to care. I've seen tons of pfps that feature penises. But don't contact me and ask me to look.

If you're breaking the rules, don't involve me.
That's reasonable.

I was conversing with someone privately on this topic the other day and she jokingly sent a reply at one point asking whether or not I wanted to see her tits already.

I replied all guys wanna see tits, so you shouldn't have to ask us.

Now; this was just us, kidding around.

My point in bringing it up is only this: generally (I try never to speak for all men) guys are more open to being sent pics.

She wants to show me her tits? Sure, why not?

Whereas most women (and again, I absolutely am not speaking for ALL women) don't really give a shit about seeing our dicks. They'd rather get to know us first; chat, feel comfortable, turn them on with our personality first.

And yet men still lead with the dick pics all the time.

Sorry guys, porn has misled you. Women don't automatically swoon at the sight of a penis.

Oh and for the record; no, the person I was conversing with never actually sent me a picture of her tits.

I would never object to it, of course. Tits are nice to look at.

But I certainly don't expect that kind of thing here.

That said I do understand there are plenty of folks of all genders who are actively seeking exactly that kind of thing.

I don't fault them for it. Only their approach.

 

[MediocreAuthor]

Yes. I completely agree that dick pics violate the rules of picture posting, however the subject of this thread isn’t specifically limited to dick pics.

And beyond that, it's coming down to differences in preference, sure. But I feel like as a collective we can agree that a general degree of politeness is preferable.

I've never attacked or lashed out at anyone on this site period, (including those who've sent me dick pics, btw)

But if I can be polite, it isn't too much to ask for others to do similarly.

That doesn't mean they will, obviously. But I refuse to stop asking.

 

[StillStunned]

Women don't automatically swoon at the sight of a penis.

The smell of one on the other hand...

 

[MediocreAuthor]

The smell of one on the other hand...

Reminds me of the old joke.

"My husband's dick isn't 12 inches, but it sometimes smells like a foot."

Haha

 

[Djmac1031]

The smell of one on the other hand...

I'd think a person would have to already pretty well be INTO someone before getting close enough to SMELL their genitalia though lol.

 

[MediocreAuthor]

It constantly happens, I get numerous advances in real life anway, even before I started using lit, although most lit users are quite respectful. I continue to do so, apart from the usual clubs, restaurants etc, sometimes out of the blue when I’m in shops, or cafés, even when simply out for a walk. I don’t mind, occasionally I’ll take the man up on the offer. Mostly I don’t. Sometimes it‘s met with indignation, and they can be a bit rude, it’s just part of everyday life. That’s what it’s like for a girl. I never let it bother me, as long as I’m polite and don’t deliberately hurt anybody's feelings, then I just get on with life.

M.
xxxxx

When you say "advances" are you including polite non-sexual advances? Or are you talking strictly about overt sexual advances?

Because the former is basically necessary for the continuation of the species, and the latter is unacceptable harassment.

 

[pink_silk_glove]

“You might not always agree with what other members post on the forum, and those users might not agree with what you post. The administrators here don’t believe they are anyone’s parents nor are they anyone’s Jiminy Cricket. It’s up to individual users to be responsible for themselves. If another user is offending you, but not breaking the rules, the forum software developers have added an ignore function for your convenience. Just click on the name or avatar of the user you don’t want to see anymore and add them to your ignore list.“

On the forum that's fine - although if you put someone on ignore some of the convos won't make sense - but in the chat the ignore function usually only works until you log out. It's supposed to save and keep them ignored on every log in but 80% of the time for some reason it doesn't.

 

[Djmac1031]

On the forum that's fine - although if you put someone on ignore some of the convos won't make sense - but in the chat the ignore function usually only works until you log out. It's supposed to save and keep them ignored on every log in but 80% of the time for some reason it doesn't.

I've never actually had to Block anyone, but shouldn't the Block feature keep them from being able to send messages in the first place?

 

[Djmac1031]

I've never actually had to Block anyone, but shouldn't the Block feature keep them from being able to send messages in the first place?

Answering my own question; apparently it's only Ignore. No Block.

Maybe the site needs a Block feature.

 

[onehitwanda]

Answering my own question; apparently it's only Ignore. No Block.

Maybe the site needs a Block feature.

The site needs a "Drop a grand piano on their dumb ass-head" function, that's for sure.

 

[MediocreAuthor]

“You might not always agree with what other members post on the forum, and those users might not agree with what you post. The administrators here don’t believe they are anyone’s parents nor are they anyone’s Jiminy Cricket. It’s up to individual users to be responsible for themselves. If another user is offending you, but not breaking the rules, the forum software developers have added an ignore function for your convenience. Just click on the name or avatar of the user you don’t want to see anymore and add them to your ignore list.“

Notice I never mentioned the administrators.

I've only reported a very small number of people, (who were actively breaking forum rules) and I've never had to put anyone on ignore... If I dislike someone, I ignore them the old fashioned way. Lol

But there's nothing to stop me from saying "Hey, I don't like unrequested sexual advances, and I think they're rude."

In the same vein, everyone is free to disregard my opinions. Won't stop me from sharing them though.

 

[Djmac1031]

The site needs a "Drop a grand piano on their dumb ass-head" function, that's for sure.

Or at the very least, a "Foward Unwanted Dick Pic To Sender's Family And Employers Social Media Pages" option.

That'd end a lot of them real quick.

 

[stickygirl]

I'm actually fine with anyone responding. Men get hit on too sometimes, and I was curious about both. Although, primarily I was curious about female perspectives, I'm glad to hear from whomever

But thank you

This is the problem I have with NT people: say one thing, mean something else. Is it a thousand words or 1024?

 

[Zootonius]

The site needs a "Drop a grand piano on their dumb ass-head" function, that's for sure.

 

[MediocreAuthor]

This is the problem I have with NT people: say one thing, mean something else. Is it a thousand words or 1024?

NT? As in Neurotypical people? The jury is still out on that one. Lol

But just to be a catty bitch, I will quote the original post:

(guys are welcome to chime in with relevant anecdotes as well, I suppose).