Female Lit authors: How much unsolicited sexual advances have you dealt with as a result of your writing?

[AwkwardlySet]

I'm unconvinced, although you are spot on with the anonymity/lack of consequences observation (same sort of behavior that shows up while driving as 'road rage'.) Or a pint or two over the limit at the pub.

Sherry Turkle has written quite a bit about online personas ('Life on the Screen' in 1995 and 'Alone Together' in 2011) and she notes that many folks present a 'curated' self, one of the peculiarities of online life, which can allow enormous distortion. I don't think I see people's 'truest selves' on the internet for the most part, unless said persons are unusually honest and articulate. Specific individual characteristics can certainly be magnified online.

It often ends up like the old 'house of mirrors' business at the carnivals and fun houses, where diffraction seems to be the norm, and the reader/correspondent needs to be alert and discriminating to understand what's really going on.

I see your argument, but I still disagree. There is a well-known pun about the "Batman Begins" movie, where in the end Rachel says how Bruce Wayne is the mask and Batman is the true face.
I believe that for most people, their internet personas are closer to their true character because in real life they still need to adhere to certain social norms. Your argument, if I understood you right, is that the way people act in everyday life is who they are. I disagree. It is who they have to be, while deep down they have a whole different personality that only very few, if any at all are privy to. Of course, people can also roleplay when online, but that "role" will still exhibit strong traits of their true character, in my opinion.

 

[AwkwardlySet]

To make my point clearer, I believe that the premise of the author you mention is wrong. We create a certain image in our everyday life among our friends, colleagues, and family. That is not necessarily who we are. Do I even have to mention all the people who are still in their closet because of their sexuality? So this "curated" self that the author mentions is in my opinion closer to our true self than the image we create in our everyday life. I didn't read the books you mentioned, I am just basing this on your interpretation.

 

[djrip]

To make my point clearer, I believe that the premise of the author you mention is wrong. We create a certain image in our everyday life among our friends, colleagues, and family. That is not necessarily who we are. Do I even have to mention all the people who are still in their closet because of their sexuality? So this "curated" self that the author mentions is in my opinion closer to our true self than the image we create in our everyday life. I didn't read the books you mentioned, I am just basing this on your interpretation.

The curated idea to me is about how on the Internet you can hide everything you want to hide. You can put out your pictures of fancy vacations and nice meals and no one has to see your broken marriage and estranged kids. Or whatever.

I think trolls are an interesting case. They purposefully argue for points they don't actually agree with themselves, to get a rise out of people. They will just throw themselves into an argument on the opposite side of someone, and they don't care about either side at all. So they are not revealing their true opinions or beliefs. But they are revealing their true inclination to annoy and infuriate people for entertainment.

 

[AwkwardlySet]

The curated idea to me is about how on the Internet you can hide everything you want to hide. You can put out your pictures of fancy vacations and nice meals and no one has to see your broken marriage and estranged kids. Or whatever.

You are talking about social networks, where we still present just an image of ourselves because we are not there "anonymously", we are there under our real name. In that sense, I agree completely. But if you are present somewhere under an alias, like on Lit, and nobody knows who you really are, where you live, what you do, there are really no stakes and you have no reason to be anyone else but yourself, your real self.

 

[Rob_Royale]

You see posts in the Story Ideas forum that are thinly veiled attempts at hooking up.

Much to my distaste. It could be such a fun forum for actual writers to bat around ideas but, no.

 

[Altissimus]

Still interested?

 

[Kelliezgirl]

I see your argument, but I still disagree. There is a well-known pun about the "Batman Begins" movie, where in the end Rachel says how Bruce Wayne is the mask and Batman is the true face.

There is an episode in the animated series that predates that, the Joker had found a way to get a voice inside his head. At the end when he wins he gets asked how he knew it was a trick and he answers because he kept calling me Bruce. The implication being that he thinks of himself as Batman.

That said, it's an awful complicated issue, and I think we tend to oversimplify it.
Some of the guys who do inappropriate things are just plain Jerkss.
Some just don't get the appropriate social norms and cues.

 

[StillStunned]

It was simple if she wasn't interested she should have stopped replying.

No, I think you should have left her alone.

 

[Djmac1031]

It was simple if she wasn't interested she should have stopped replying.

Why do you sound like one of those "No means yes" types?

 

[MediocreAuthor]

She texted back and even asked how i will get her. If she wasn't interested she should not reply

I feel sorry for you.
You must be a very miserable individual.

 

[Djmac1031]

Again y'all are too hung up on me.

Just keep replying to the thread. You're making a case for yourself.

Not the case you THINK you're making. But definitely a case.

 

[StillStunned]

You see right through me.

 

[onehitwanda]

I love the ignore button.

 

[madelinemasoch]

I know y'all are mostly bored people with no social life and on drugs so i get your life is depressing and being on my case is the most exciting thing in your lives.

Erozetta already showed us your whole ass, dude. We didn't ask to see the hole.

 

[MediocreAuthor]

Person shows up in my thread about rude people, being rude.

Everyone in the thread: "Wow, you're rude."

Person: "You guys sure are hung up on me! Get a life."

Lmao the jokes write themselves.

 

[pink_silk_glove]

No one thinks that. I think most of them want to see if you live the life you erite in your stories

Oh yes they do.

Horny guys scroll through porn thumbs and when they see a girl they like they click on her to make her do slutty things.

Then they come onto the lit forums or the chat and see a feminine name, click on it and expect a girl to say slutty things.

Being a girl in chat, this comes with the territory.

 

[Djmac1031]

Person shows up in my thread about rude people, being rude.

Everyone in the thread: "Wow, you're rude."

Person: "You guys sure are hung up on me! Get a life."

Lmao the jokes write themselves.

It was nice of him to openly identify himself like that though.

 

[Altissimus]

@AH_Mod why is this guy still here? Seriously?

 

[MicheleNylons]

Well I got my first request for nude photos last night as a result of my writing. I was offered a fairly high amount, but I politely declined as I refuse to be known as a woman who sells pictures of her tits online.

That led me to think about him many sexual advances I've delt with (as a direct result of my writing).

So far, I can recall roughly

1 request for nude photos.
1 uncomfortable request for "more" photos, although nudity was never specifically mentioned.
1 dick pic.
Maybe about 5-6 requests for sexual roleplay/sexting (in spite of the fact that my bio clearly states that I'm not interested in roleplay with fans).

That's honestly not that bad, considering I've been at this for a year or so.

I'm curious to know how much of this solicitation other female authors have dealt with (guys are welcome to chime in with relevant anecdote as well, I suppose).

First off I get it that I'm not 'strictly' female before the Terfs go all gangsta on me but I present femme.

I get many requests for pictures both vanilla and X-rated but I do say in my profile that I am prepared to do so if asked nicely. I have no problems providing said pictures (and videos) because they are freely available on certain sex sites (submitted by me).

I have been asked to meet a few readers IRL but because of where I live I don't get that many. That said over the years I have met sex partners who knew about me from this site.

I don't do cyber or sexting because it's a waste of time. The time I spend having cyber sex I could be having real sex or writing stories!

 

[LittleLilyCanWrite]

I probably asked for it by calling myself Little Lily. I haven’t posted a single story, but within the first 24 hours of joining the forums I was already dealing with solicitors.

 

[onehitwanda]

I probably asked for it by calling myself Little Lily. I haven’t posted a single story, but within the first 24 hours of joining the forums I was already dealing with solicitors.

better than Barristers, or so I hear.

 

[MillieDynamite]

In the last three months, I've gotten IMs here or from feedback; asking about my tits, my ass, if I like screwing around behind my lesbian wife's back, one asking for pictures (nude, of course), and one telling me lesbian sex is hot can he watch us. Sigh, it never gets old; NOT TRUE this gets old fast! Oh, yes, I had one asking if the girl lying nude in the background on my webpage was me. She's white with tan lines, so, no, she isn't me.

 

[Altissimus]

In the last three months, I've gotten IMs here or from feedback; asking about my tits, my ass, if I like screwing around by my lesbian wife's back, one asking for pictures (nude, of course), and one telling me lesbian sex is hot can he watch us. Sigh, it never gets old; NOT TRUE this gets old fast! Oh, yes, I had one asking if the girl lying nude in the background on my webpage was me. She's white with tan lines, so, no, she isn't me.

Logic would suggest that at some point this approach worked. If it never, ever, ever worked, would people still do it? So someone, somewhere is responding to these approaches in a way that makes it worth considering with these approaches.

To all the guys that do this, haven't you figured it out yet? No one likes this approach. So the 'girls' who respond positively to this and send you nudes aren't girls at all, and you're basically sexting with horny dweebs just like you, except they're pretending to be women. So have fun making stomach pancakes with that image in your head.

 

[Bramblethorn]

If it never, ever, ever worked, would people still do it?

*glances at most of the alternative medicine industry*
*glances at dozens of religions that can't all be correct*
*glances at people who send their bank account details to the guy who says they've won millions of dollars in a lottery they never entered*

...yeah, I'm pretty sure some of them would.

 

[AH_Mod]

@AH_Mod why is this guy still here? Seriously?

Just removed every post from the thread and I'm referring the matter to Laurel.