Filthy answers to innocent questions.

[BlueEyes1969]

Disneyland on Gay Pride Day!

Why do people run stop signs and traffic lights?

 

[flynn99]

The rings that form around the genitals after waxing or shaving!

Why do the leaves fall from the trees in autumn?

Wait! What is Autumn doing with trees in her anyway? Bad case of Dendrophilia?

Oops -- I answered out of order -- repeating @BlueEyes1969's question:

Why do people run stop signs and traffic lights?

 

[summer_reine]

Disneyland on Gay Pride Day!

Why do people run stop signs and traffic lights?

Their autodrive car is too busy filming the porn in the front seat

Why do potheads laugh so much?

 

[Tio_Narratore]

Their autodrive car is too busy filming the porn in the front seat

Why do potheads laugh so much?

Because it tickles when their partners get the munchies.

What is the Aurora Borealis?

 

[BlueEyes1969]

The ultimate orgasm!

Why do donkeys bray?

 

[Tio_Narratore]

The ultimate orgasm!

Why do donkeys bray?

For the same reason fools fall in love.

Why do fools fall in love?

 

[Sappho_CGN]

@lovecraft68

if you have enough steam for the whole night ...

Where are my black stilettos?

 

[lovecraft68]

@lovecraft68

if you have enough steam for the whole night ...

Where are my black stilettos?

Hopefully imbedded in my shoulders.

What is a good pain?

 

[BlueEyes1969]

A Hot, erotic spanking!

Why are people obsessed with time?

 

[UsuallyPresent]

Time is what's keeping you from your next orgasm!

Why are there four fingers and one thumb per hand?

 

[Tio_Narratore]

Time is what's keeping you from your next orgasm!

Why are there four fingers and one thumb per hand?

Fingers for the vagina; thumb for the clit, obviously!

Why are humans bipedal?

 

[Actingup]

Fingers for the vagina; thumb for the clit, obviously!

Why are humans bipedal?

Because we have better things to do with opposable thumbs than walk on them (refer previous answer!).

Why is Shakespeare still in the school curriculum?

 

[big_cane_sugar]

Because when he shakes his spear in the school curriculum he makes the whole school curricu-cum.

What happens when a man from Beaverlick goes to Bangkok for the first time?

 

[Tio_Narratore]

Because when he shakes his spear in the school curriculum he makes the whole school curricu-cum.

What happens when a man from Beaverlick goes to Bangkok for the first time?

He found it a real pain in the ass; back in Beaverlick, he never needed lube, so he didn't think of it when he first got to Bangkok.

Can you count on any entertainment in Come By Chance, Newfoundland?

 

[flynn99]

He found it a real pain in the ass; back in Beaverlick, he never needed lube, so he didn't think of it when he first got to Bangkok.

Can you count on any entertainment in Come By Chance, Newfoundland?

It depends on whether Chance is out on his fishing boat that day.

What holidays do they recognize in Thailand?

 

[UsuallyPresent]

Very few holes are day use only, if you ignore golf.

How’d the librarian handle the fire in the stacks?

 

[Tio_Narratore]

Very few holes are day use only, if you ignore golf.

How’d the librarian handle the fire in the stacks?

She did what any stacked and inflamed librarian would do: she called for the fire brigade and their long, thick hoses.

What should you do when your book is overdue?

 

[Actingup]

She did what any stacked and inflamed librarian would do: she called for the fire brigade and their long, thick hoses.

What should you do when your book is overdue?

You should face facts and buy the library a replacement. Nobody is going to read the old copy with those disgusting sticky pages.

Is the sword ever mightier than the pen?

 

[UsuallyPresent]

You should face facts and buy the library a replacement. Nobody is going to read the old copy with those disgusting sticky pages.

Is the sword ever mightier than the pen?

The pen is ever shrinking under the threat of a sharp edge, no matter how it's sheathed.

Where do you carry the sheath of your sword?

 

[Divindisguise]

The pen is ever shrinking under the threat of a sharp edge, no matter how it's sheathed.

Where do you carry the sheath of your sword?

I don't carry it. A girl I know carries it for me, in her panties. I'm non-violent, so I sheathe my sword often.

What would you find at the end of a rainbow?

 

[Tio_Narratore]

I don't carry it. A girl I know carries it for me, in her panties. I'm non-violent, so I sheathe my sword often.

What would you find at the end of a rainbow?

Danaë, with her naked legs spread in hopes of a shower of gold.

What does it mean to 'get a leg up' on someone?

 

[flynn99]

Danaë, with her naked legs spread in hopes of a shower of gold.

What does it mean to 'get a leg up' on someone?

Please refer to the Kama Sutra, position #'s 9, 11, 22, 51, 52, 75, 77, 83, 84 or 86.

Is position #61 even possible?

 

[Actingup]

Please refer to the Kama Sutra, position #'s 9, 11, 22, 51, 52, 75, 77, 83, 84 or 86.

Is position #61 even possible?

Only for experienced politicians.

What's a sure sign that your local member has compromised his or her principles?

 

[flynn99]

Only for experienced politicians.

What's a sure sign that your local member has compromised his or her principles?

He (or she) is breathing. (Of course, that assumes they had principles in the first place.)

Oh! This is supposed to be a filthy answer, huh? I went for the accurate answer. Try again...

My 'member' has no principles... it just does what I tell it. (I guess, yeah, sometimes it tells me what to do too, huh?)

(note for internationalization (not everyone globally may have understood this): in Australia, a "member" is a politician. In the United States, a "member" is a guy's little buddy...)

What is the song, "Bohemian Rhapsody" really about?

 

[Tio_Narratore]

He (or she) is breathing. (Of course, that assumes they had principles in the first place.)

Oh! This is supposed to be a filthy answer, huh? I went for the accurate answer. Try again...

My 'member' has no principles... it just does what I tell it. (I guess, yeah, sometimes it tells me what to do too, huh?)

(note for internationalization (not everyone globally may have understood this): in Australia, a "member" is a politician. In the United States, a "member" is a guy's little buddy...)

What is the song, "Bohemian Rhapsody" really about?

The kinky sexual pleasures that can be had on the left bank of the Seine.

Why is it called "le Moulin Rouge?"