Flip the script!

[Husky_Embrace]

Just have your male lead spit, grab his crotch and talk about sports. Oh, and fix things by hitting or kicking them : P

Hey that's not... It's not really...

<Slaps own face>

My god she's right.

<Slaps face again>

No wait!
"WHERE IS MY BIG PENIS IN THE STORY!? I NEED TO ELEVATE MY STATUS BY PRETENDING I KNOW HOW IT IS TO HAVE A BIG DICK! EVERY. SINGLE. WOMEN. LOVES IT."

 

[Z_TheWriter]

To me it's kind of more a 'mechanical' thing. I'm pretty new around here. Writing sex scenes is already somewhat intimidating, so for now I'd prefer not to write them from a perspective I have not experienced myself.

On the other hand, I am currently writing something with multiple POVs which includes a woman, so I guess we'll see how that goes. The plan isn't to write sex from her POV, but the plan also wasn't originally for her to be a POV character.

But more generally, it seems to me that if a writer is able to write believable characters significantly different to themselves as non POV characters, then there should be no major problem writing from their POV. You already need to have a good grasp on their thoughts, motivations and feelings, so it really isn't that different. Is it?

 

[THBGato]

Honestly, I find writing from a different cultural standpoint (I have Ugandan, Maori, French-Algerian and mixed race narrators) far more challenging than worrying about gender (not that this has been an issue at all).

 

[Statius]

To me it's kind of more a 'mechanical' thing. I'm pretty new around here. Writing sex scenes is already somewhat intimidating, so for now I'd prefer not to write them from a perspective I have not experienced myself.

On the other hand, I am currently writing something with multiple POVs which includes a woman, so I guess we'll see how that goes. The plan isn't to write sex from her POV, but the plan also wasn't originally for her to be a POV character.

But more generally, it seems to me that if a writer is able to write believable characters significantly different to themselves as non POV characters, then there should be no major problem writing from their POV. You already need to have a good grasp on their thoughts, motivations and feelings, so it really isn't that different. Is it?

This. That's it. Nothing else. The third paragraph.

 

[ColtonWrites]

To me it's kind of more a 'mechanical' thing. I'm pretty new around here. Writing sex scenes is already somewhat intimidating, so for now I'd prefer not to write them from a perspective I have not experienced myself.

Yeah, I can write from a different POV, and I have. Where I struggle is the mechanics of how sex would feel to someone with different body parts from me. I can imagine how someone thinks and speaks and acts, but exactly *how* a penis feels during sex is a lot harder.
*this next part is one trans man's opinion and others will disagree!*
I think there might also be some internal struggle - I dont have a cis-dick. I will never have one; there's surgeries available but they can't quite get to "the same". (And i dont have a spare $50k for phalloplasty anyway.) So imagining what a dick feel like - something I want but can never have - isn't something I want to spend my time doing. Its just not fun, and I write for fun.

 

[EmilyMiller]

Honestly, I find writing from a different cultural standpoint (I have Ugandan, Maori, French-Algerian and mixed race narrators) far more challenging than worrying about gender (not that this has been an issue at all).

This

 

[Kumquatqueen]

I've written nearly as many male as female perspective stories (and one genderless hellbeing who presents as male in the story).

Given the large number of men around me and living with a couple of them, getting their viewpoints isn't too hard.

Writing young men half my age, who are black or mixed and in jobs or from very different backgrounds to mine? Way harder. I couldn't get anyone to help edit, so did a huge amount of eavesdropping on lads locally and chatting to my neighbours.

Writing an American guy? Got help with that for Chad in Homesick Halloween, to ensure the cultural details are correct. Bradley was simply copied from all the American media that's shown here, because he was meant to be generic, though over half a dozen stories he's acquired some personality.

But subverting tropes is a hobby of mine. The popular male lover who actually has a tiny cock. The charismatic confident man who is also a submissive wearing a cock cage. The guy who's introduced to BDSM and decides it's not for him, etc. Guy meets trans woman, has sex, isn't into her cock at all.

 

[redgarters]

Honestly, I find writing from a different cultural standpoint (I have Ugandan, Maori, French-Algerian and mixed race narrators) far more challenging than worrying about gender (not that this has been an issue at all).

Agreed That stuff is hard!
I'm a bisexual male writing mostly 1st person pov female MC's in sapphic relationships. It seems to hit the mark okay.
Funnily enough I've been thinking about trying for a gay male story, but am not sure I'd get that right.

 

[Britva415]

You already need to have a good grasp on their thoughts, motivations and feelings

For some people, this is the crux: The thoughts and feelings of other people are alien to them.

For some men, the crux is that the thoughts and feelings of women seem fucked up and nonsensical to them.

For some men, the crux is that the thoughts and feelings of women seem scary to them.

For some men, the crux is that the thoughts and feelings of women seem gay to them.

Yes, you're totally right: Women are people, and understanding people is the crux. I'm not going to pretend that men and women aren't different - but, everybody's different.

People are afraid of stereotyping and/or getting something wrong. And, Lit help us, we know this does happen. So it's not an empty fear. Still, having a little bit of empathy and confidence can probably see a person who has good faith through.

 

[Z_TheWriter]

For some people, this is the crux: The thoughts and feelings of other people are alien to them.

For some men, the crux is that the thoughts and feelings of women seem fucked up and nonsensical to them.

For some men, the crux is that the thoughts and feelings of women seem scary to them.

For some men, the crux is that the thoughts and feelings of women seem gay to them.

Yes, you're totally right: Women are people, and understanding people is the crux. I'm not going to pretend that men and women aren't different - but, everybody's different.

People are afraid of stereotyping and/or getting something wrong. And, Lit help us, we know this does happen. So it's not an empty fear. Still, having a little bit of empathy and confidence can probably see a person who has good faith through.

George R.R. Martin for all his troubles getting his magnum opus finished, has his moments.

In an interview he was asked about how he often wrote female POV characters and how the women in his works seemed so realistic. How could he do that as a man?
His answer was: "You know, I've always considered women to be people."

I've certainly found the thoughts and feelings of many women in my life to be mysterious or even at times nonsensical. But generally, if you get to ask about it, it makes sense once you know the context.

The secret here is that since I'm writing the women in my story, I know the context. I wrote it.

 

[millamomud]

male telepathic space octopus…

I'm sorry, but... is it a fucktopus?

 

[EmilyMiller]

I'm sorry, but... is it a fucktopus?

One way to find out…

Coleoidphilia

 

[Milo_Grigsby]

It's wonderful when an on-line exchange actually causes me to rethink something. Many of the posts here raise excellent points. I have written first person for characters that have significantly different life experiences from me without fear or hesitation. Why should writing from a female POV be that much different? Women are not "aliens" (and that's the comment that really made me stop and think). So, I will give it a try ... fearfully ... but I will still try! Thank you to everyone who posted here!

 

[EmilyMiller]

It's wonderful when an on-line exchange actually causes me to rethink something. Many of the posts here raise excellent points. I have written first person for characters that have significantly different life experiences from me without fear or hesitation. Why should writing from a female POV be that much different? Women are not "aliens" (and that's the comment that really made me stop and think). So, I will give it a try ... fearfully ... but I will still try! Thank you to everyone who posted here!

Bravo!

 

[Omenainen]

It's wonderful when an on-line exchange actually causes me to rethink something. Many of the posts here raise excellent points. I have written first person for characters that have significantly different life experiences from me without fear or hesitation. Why should writing from a female POV be that much different? Women are not "aliens" (and that's the comment that really made me stop and think). So, I will give it a try ... fearfully ... but I will still try! Thank you to everyone who posted here!

Now’s a good season to write women, if you want to do it in company write a story for Pink Orchid. There’s even beta reading available if you want to hear how your women read to other people.

 

[nice90sguy]

verisimilitude

is not a requirement for good porn or science fiction, at least, not to me.

 

[UtilityCurve]

is not a requirement for good porn or science fiction, at least, not to me.

I'm a huge fan of so-called "hard" sci-fi.

 

[Erozetta]

I start from the presumptions that (a) most Lit stories are written by str8 men, particularly if we don't include "Gay Male," (b) that most authors write in the voice of their perspective/sex, male or female.

Now (b) in particular may be essential to some, most, maybe even all but me. You know, verisimilitude and all.

But I propose that it's a bit more rewarding to read when the author has flipped the script, writing in the voice or perspective of the opposite sex.

See, I already know, top to bottom, what at least one man experiences with sex. If I write something in that voice, women get an authentic if unique (and I'm a stickler for not using "unique" when I should say "distinctive") male viewpoint of the joys of bring with a woman.

I've read but very few stories written by men in a female voice or from the female perspective, but I'm damned sure I've read none by women in a male vouce or from the male perspective.

We ALL wonder what our partners feel, think, etc., when they are with us, and couples with great communication can clear up some of the mtstery, but in fiction, the limits are, well, unlimited.

I'd be enthralled this by a story that tells me what the woman thinks the man wants, feels, experiences, hopes for and all the other things truly intimate sex involves.

Not a "traditional" story idea, but then again the whole idea is nontraditional.

I have a few written in the male pov or split pov, had more before I deleted my account. But I've been told by different people on the same story, that I did it well and absolutely sucked at it. A guy came in to defend my writing once when someone complained a guy could never simply sleep next to a woman he was attracted to by saying he'd done exactly that. As has my husband and another friend of mine, so despite that complaint, I'm quite confident that men are actually in control of where they stick their penis and can resist even if they find a nearby penis receptacle quite alluring. (And we all know women should only exist as a penis receptacle in porn despite Omen's attempts to force us to write them as fully developed people. <- sarcasm, in case it needs to be spelled out.)

I think about my friends and husband and former partners and base my guys on them. So any accusations of " A guy wouldn't do that!" gets drowned out in my head as "Well, I know at least one who will/did, so ." (I really dislike the emoji options here...)

 

[pink_silk_glove]

we all know women should only exist as a penis receptacle

I'll be a penis receptacle for the right guy (blush), but not just any guy, and I can be fussy (sometimes I wish that I wasn't so damn fussy : P <- I too dislike the emojis here). See that's the problem with porn unicorn characters. They're eager penis receptacles for just any guy, like the next one who comes along, yea him, he'll do, what the hell, and us women just can't relate to that. She can absolutely be his penis receptacle, but he better be goddamn fuckin' sexy.

Oh, to be a cock sleeve ... for a HAWT guy.

 

[Erozetta]

I'll be a penis receptacle for the right guy (blush), but not just any guy, and I can be fussy (sometimes I wish that I wasn't so damn fussy : P <- I too dislike the emojis here). See that's the problem with porn unicorn characters. They're eager penis receptacles for just any guy, like the next one who comes along, yea him, he'll do, what the hell, and us women just can't relate to that. She can absolutely be his penis receptacle, but he better be goddamn fuckin' sexy.

Oh, to be a cock sleeve ... for a HAWT guy.

Hotness optional in my case, lol.

I'm attracted to goofy guys more than "hot" guys. Like, a guy who makes me laugh and I can be chill around is going to catch my attention much faster than a Chris Hemsworth type. (Bonus if he's both, but the former is more important than the latter. And I'm far more attracted to David Tennant or Tom Hiddleston types physically.)

I try to be mindful of such when I write. Probably why most of my stuff is friends or coworkers to lovers to some degree. Occasionally strangers, but the stranger has to be fairly aggressive sexually and unknowingly plays into the FMC's fantasies.

But when I write from a guy's perspective, I like them to be chill, funny, and kind because those are my favorite guys. They are typically fairly plain looking, but, again, that's my type.

 

[Z_TheWriter]

I'll be a penis receptacle for the right guy (blush), but not just any guy, and I can be fussy (sometimes I wish that I wasn't so damn fussy : P <- I too dislike the emojis here). See that's the problem with porn unicorn characters. They're eager penis receptacles for just any guy, like the next one who comes along, yea him, he'll do, what the hell, and us women just can't relate to that. She can absolutely be his penis receptacle, but he better be goddamn fuckin' sexy.

Oh, to be a cock sleeve ... for a HAWT guy.

As a man I just don't understand the attraction. Would I want someone to do that sort of thing for me sometimes? Totally. But I would want her to do it for me.
Not to do it generally and I just happened to be closest.

(For the record: one night stands and "let's just have fun" are different. Nothing wrong with that)

 

[iwatchus]

So any accusations of " A guy wouldn't do that!" gets drowned out in my head as "Well, I know at least one who will/did, so ." (I really dislike the emoji options here...)

I get far more complaints about the men in my stories being unrealistic (a man would never do X) than I do about the women. Maybe the self-appointed gender police don't actually know their own gender all that well. Or are unwilling to accept the diversity that is around them?

 

[pink_silk_glove]

Hotness optional in my case, lol.

By sexy I didn't necessarily mean physical. I mean whatever turns on the target reader.

 

[TheWritingGroup]

I have a few written in the male pov or split pov, had more before I deleted my account. But I've been told by different people on the same story, that I did it well and absolutely sucked at it. A guy came in to defend my writing once when someone complained a guy could never simply sleep next to a woman he was attracted to by saying he'd done exactly that. As has my husband and another friend of mine, so despite that complaint, I'm quite confident that men are actually in control of where they stick their penis and can resist even if they find a nearby penis receptacle quite alluring. (And we all know women should only exist as a penis receptacle in porn despite Omen's attempts to force us to write them as fully developed people. <- sarcasm, in case it needs to be spelled out.)

The version I've heard isn't that they couldn't control themselves. Just that they would never actually be able to sleep.

--Annie

 

[pink_silk_glove]

As a man I just don't understand the attraction. Would I want someone to do that sort of thing for me sometimes? Totally. But I would want her to do it for me.
Not to do it generally and I just happened to be closest.

(For the record: one night stands and "let's just have fun" are different. Nothing wrong with that)

Yes, you want her to do this for specifically you, but that is the same as the unicorn fantasy. It is completely contrived that girl of your dreams makes your day. However, as a woman reading it, I see nothing that makes her specifically want that guy. The male character is so bland, usually invisible and just as often does absolutely nothing to turn her on. he exists, he has an erection. What more does she need?

It doesn't matter if it's one night stand fun. If the male lead does nothing to turn the female lead on (which is always the case) then the female reader can't get turned on. And this is what the male porn writers never understand. There is never anything mutual. It's some contrived situation where she comes onto him, she initiates, she escalates, she climbs him, she does all the heavy lifting and then she cums because SOMEHOW he's awesome in bed??