Fuck It: Refux

[Justadesperatewifeandmom]

The best ride at any amusement park is the funnel cake stand. But there's some places you probably don't want powdered sugar going.

oh I do love funnel cake. My local fair booth does fun cake flavors too. red velvet funnel cake is awesome.

 

[Moochienanu]

Might not be the best time to add as some serious conversation looks to be being had…but I’ll toss it out there:

Self tying Shibari has been on my mind a lot, I’ve worked with riggers in the past and always enjoyed the sensation of being bound and found it calming, but I’ve never learned to tie the knots myself and I’m curious if anyone here has tried it?

What was the biggest learning curve? If you’ve worked with a rigger before how did self tie feel different?

I’ve recently purchased a series of classes online and I’m excited to try it out but admittedly I’m all thumbs so a little worried about getting stuck

Thank you, @barefootgirl69 for thinking of me.

Yes, I have tried and practice self-tying quite often compared to most on this site.

The biggest learning curve for me was mainly knit placement - self tying means you need to be able to tie (and usually untie) the knots yourself and thus the knots can’t always be behind you. Intricate things that can be done with both of your hands/arms are also VERY difficult.

It is different than working with a rigger for good reasons and not so good - not having someone else present to tie you takes some of the - I wanna say “sexiness” or “flirtiness”- out of the actual transitions and tying. I combat this by sometimes filming myself tying and sending the video to my D-type person. I also send them the sexiest pics when I’m done.

Another way self-tying is different is that you can set a goal for your play and not have someone else weighing in - this is good when you want to do something crazy like a basket weave corset that takes hours upon hours to complete (no one will be upset when your ocd kicks in and you need to fix all the lines exactly right) or when something doesn’t go your way with a freestyle tie and you look like a lump of fallen chewing gum at the end (no one will ever have to see it but you!).

I’ve never done online classes for self-tying before. You’ll have to let us all know how that goes for you.

What kinds of rope do you have/prefer?
What are your self-tying goals?

Moochie

 

[Mr_bogey]

Good morning to you all (if you're awake yet ).

I've mentioned this before on other threads but I thought it might be interesting and fun to throw it around here

Sex Outside

I've some experience with this, both with being in a car and being in a forest. It's definitely exciting. The thrill of doing something naughty in public, the danger of being caught etc. However, I will say, if you're gonna indulge, make sure you have something comfortable to lie on. Getting tree bark off your arse isn't so sexy there's also the nature of consent, because any person who catches you is unlikely to give it. Different if you've set up the situation where you are 'caught' and watched/joined but that's a different scenario.

So anyway: On your list, not? Done it, never would? Thoughts?

This is my thing. It started when I was young and going parking. I was caught by cops in a church parking lot in my car and chased out of a state park by a ranger. I hopped into the front seat naked while she dressed in the back and drove about 15 mins away to where I knew I was clear to pull over and dress . Golf courses at night, I had no worries but I got greedy and thought I was safe in a sand trap just at sunset. Got chased by a groundskeeper in a little green truck and had to sprint to the car. Playgrounds, up against a bay door in an alley that was the path back to campus from a bar, behind the registrars desk after time stamping a paper in. Various balconies and beaches. A dock across from the Kennedy Center but the best was driving home after 3 am, my roommate passed out in the back seat and a girl that had come to town for the weekend blowing me as I drove home from a party. Roads were pretty empty and I was a little distracted so I wasn't exactly staying in my lane but I didn't think it mattered. I noticed headlights in my rear view and looked to see a cop car. I got the car straight and stopped at a red light and they pulled alongside and were looking me over to see if I needed further investigation. I tapped her head and said "I need you to stop and sit up for a second." She did and the 2 cops burst out laughing, the driver gave me a thumbs up and they drove off. I drove 3 more blocks home, parked and she finished me off right there. We woke my roommate, got him inside and I then rewarded her for saving my ass.

 

[crazychemgirl]

What about on a ferris wheel @Justadesperatewifeandmom? It moves. It's a ride. Slip the operator a small bribe and maybe they'll leave you at the top for a different type of ride...

I had an image trying to flash on one of those rides that shoot you up in the air really fast and I reckon I could easily give myself concussion if I tried

I love the idea of flashing on a Ferris wheel

 

[RosewoodTulip]

I have never "flashed" anywhere
My bras are usually not the best for it. Too bulky and not easy for a quick release.
It does sound like a ton of fun though

 

[Justadesperatewifeandmom]

I have never "flashed" anywhere
My bras are usually not the best for it. Too bulky and not easy for a quick release.
It does sound like a ton of fun though

you do it enough, you get practiced at it. like removing your bra without taking off your shirt. There is a techniques to it.

 

[MrsPassion]

Thank you, @barefootgirl69 for thinking of me.

Yes, I have tried and practice self-tying quite often compared to most on this site.

The biggest learning curve for me was mainly knit placement - self tying means you need to be able to tie (and usually untie) the knots yourself and thus the knots can’t always be behind you. Intricate things that can be done with both of your hands/arms are also VERY difficult.

It is different than working with a rigger for good reasons and not so good - not having someone else present to tie you takes some of the - I wanna say “sexiness” or “flirtiness”- out of the actual transitions and tying. I combat this by sometimes filming myself tying and sending the video to my D-type person. I also send them the sexiest pics when I’m done.

Another way self-tying is different is that you can set a goal for your play and not have someone else weighing in - this is good when you want to do something crazy like a basket weave corset that takes hours upon hours to complete (no one will be upset when your ocd kicks in and you need to fix all the lines exactly right) or when something doesn’t go your way with a freestyle tie and you look like a lump of fallen chewing gum at the end (no one will ever have to see it but you!).

I’ve never done online classes for self-tying before. You’ll have to let us all know how that goes for you.

What kinds of rope do you have/prefer?
What are your self-tying goals?

Moochie

Thank you so much for such a thoughtful answer!

I don’t have a Dom right now, so my biggest goal with self-tying is mostly meditative and rooted in self love and working with a medium that pleases me both visually but offers some intentional and grounded connection with my body in way I find most satisfying if that makes sense For various reasons I don’t always feel connected to myself and what I’ve always enjoyed about being bound is how instantly and fully present I am with myself and I don’t want to have to run across town or go to an event and be ogled every time I want to experience that sensation.

I have 8 sets of simple jute, but I want to try silk ropes and maybe even hemp. But I want to get familiar with self tying before I invest in a lot of rope, but my Etsy wishlist is filled with lots of pretty ropes, that maybe one day I will own

The online classes are self paced which works for me, because I have a busy schedule so hopefully once I’ve gotten past the introduction ties I’ll have some modest but proud ties to share with everyone

 

[RosewoodTulip]

you do it enough, you get practiced at it. like removing your bra without taking off your shirt. There is a techniques to it.

Maybe I should get some front fasteners.
Quick unclip and "ta dah!"

 

[Saltfountain]

Thank you so much for such a thoughtful answer!

I don’t have a Dom right now, so my biggest goal with self-tying is mostly meditative and rooted in self love and working with a medium that pleases me both visually but offers some intentional and grounded connection with my body in way I find most satisfying if that makes sense For various reasons I don’t always feel connected to myself and what I’ve always enjoyed about being bound is how instantly and fully present I am with myself and I don’t want to have to run across town or go to an event and be ogled every time I want to experience that sensation.

I have 8 sets of simple jute, but I want to try silk ropes and maybe even hemp. But I want to get familiar with self thing before I invest in a lot of rope, but my Etsy wishlist is filled with lots of pretty ropes, that maybe one day I will own

The online classes are self paced which works for me, because I have a busy schedule so hopefully once I’ve gotten past the introduction ties I’ll have some modest but proud ties to share with everyone

Is it stupid of me to be unsure what you mean by not always feeling connected to yourself?

 

[Saltfountain]

Maybe I should get some front fasteners.
Quick unclip and "Oh Wowwwwwww!"

FIFY

 

[RosewoodTulip]

Thank you so much for such a thoughtful answer!

I don’t have a Dom right now, so my biggest goal with self-tying is mostly meditative and rooted in self love and working with a medium that pleases me both visually but offers some intentional and grounded connection with my body in way I find most satisfying if that makes sense For various reasons I don’t always feel connected to myself and what I’ve always enjoyed about being bound is how instantly and fully present I am with myself and I don’t want to have to run across town or go to an event and be ogled every time I want to experience that sensation.

I have 8 sets of simple jute, but I want to try silk ropes and maybe even hemp. But I want to get familiar with self tying before I invest in a lot of rope, but my Etsy wishlist is filled with lots of pretty ropes, that maybe one day I will own

The online classes are self paced which works for me, because I have a busy schedule so hopefully once I’ve gotten past the introduction ties I’ll have some modest but proud ties to share with everyone

I love this topic of conversation. Sorry I was dealing with other things yesterday.
Would you be able to link me the classes you've found, either here or in private?

I've never been bound by anyone but I do really want it. Your description of how it feels make it sound like an almost meditative experience and I very much like the sound of it. I think if I learned it may be a way to soothe as well as feeding that subby side of me.

Plus. It also just looks beautiful

 

[MrsPassion]

Is it stupid of me to be unsure what you mean by not always feeling connected to yourself?

Lol it’s not stupid at all. I have PTSD from some childhood trauma that resulted in an uncanny ability to disassociate from feeling physically present with my body. That coupled with ADHD, anxiety, and body dismorphia (I love myself don’t get me wrong but everyone has their hang ups) means I’m not often focused on feeling good physically and creating time to do so is a battle against my squirrely little brain. So when I’m bound it’s enough input and sensation to be fully present in that moment and offers a lot of opportunity for connection and appreciation of my body and self. It’s hard to get distracted when there’s literally no where for that nervous energy to go outside of being processed and dealt with in the moment.

 

[MrsPassion]

I love this topic of conversation. Sorry I was dealing with other things yesterday.
Would you be able to link me the classes you've found, either here or in private?

I've never been bound by anyone but I do really want it. Your description of how it feels make it sound like an almost meditative experience and I very much like the sound of it. I think if I learned it may be a way to soothe as well as feeding that subby side of me.

Plus. It also just looks beautiful

I can totally send you the link! I’ll send it to you in a PM!

 

[MrsPassion]

I love this topic of conversation. Sorry I was dealing with other things yesterday.
Would you be able to link me the classes you've found, either here or in private?

I've never been bound by anyone but I do really want it. Your description of how it feels make it sound like an almost meditative experience and I very much like the sound of it. I think if I learned it may be a way to soothe as well as feeding that subby side of me.

Plus. It also just looks beautiful

Far be it from me to gatekeep if anybody else wants the link for the classes I purchased here it is:

https://shibaristudy.com/categories/self-tying

 

[RosewoodTulip]

Far be it from me to gatekeep if anybody else wants the link for the classes I purchased here it is:

https://shibaristudy.com/categories/self-tying

Thank you.
That all seems perfect. I'll have to sort out my budget before signing up but it seems to have a tutorial for all kinds of situations. I liked that the models are all different shapes and sizes too so I could get a sense of how I would look

 

[MrsPassion]

Thank you.
That all seems perfect. I'll have to sort out my budget before signing up but it seems to have a tutorial for all kinds of situations. I liked that the models are all different shapes and sizes too so I could get a sense of how I would look

I searched for a while before deciding on these ones. It was important for me to see bodies that looked like mine as well!

 

[Saltfountain]

Being tied strikes me as a profoundly submissive activity. Is that right, and most dominant types tend to be riggers (if they're into ropeplay) or am I just being an old bigot here, and actually I'm the only person in the world who hates being tied up?

 

[AngelicaS1780]

Maybe I should get some front fasteners.
Quick unclip and "ta dah!"

I have never once seen a front fastening bra in my size.

Lol it’s not stupid at all. I have PTSD from some childhood trauma that resulted in an uncanny ability to disassociate from feeling physically present with my body. That coupled with ADHD, anxiety, and body dismorphia (I love myself don’t get me wrong but everyone has their hang ups) means I’m not often focused on feeling good physically and creating time to do so is a battle against my squirrely little brain. So when I’m bound it’s enough input and sensation to be fully present in that moment and offers a lot of opportunity for connection and appreciation of my body and self. It’s hard to get distracted when there’s literally no where for that nervous energy to go outside of being processed and dealt with in the moment.

I think that what you describe here is a big part of why I enjoy sensory play and aspects of bdsm so much. It helps to bring me out of my head and into my body. When people ask me what I fantasize about while masturbating, I sometimes feel embarrassed or silly telling them that most of the time I'm not fantasizing about anything... that, in some ways, I'm trying not to think at all, but just feel and be present in my body.

Far be it from me to gatekeep if anybody else wants the link for the classes I purchased here it is:

https://shibaristudy.com/categories/self-tying

Yay! Thank you.

 

[AngelicaS1780]

Being tied strikes me as a profoundly submissive activity. Is that right, and most dominant types tend to be riggers (if they're into ropeplay) or am I just being an old bigot here, and actually I'm the only person in the world who hates being tied up?

That is the impression that I have always had.

 

[RosewoodTulip]

I'm trying not to think at all, but just feel and be present in my body.

I am absolutely with you on this

 

[Justadesperatewifeandmom]

Being tied strikes me as a profoundly submissive activity. Is that right, and most dominant types tend to be riggers (if they're into ropeplay) or am I just being an old bigot here, and actually I'm the only person in the world who hates being tied up?

you may be right, but I think both all across the spectrum can appreciate restraint play all across the spectrum. ie people who align with neither dominant or submissive can very much enjoy both being tied up and tying someone else up, someone who is dominant can appreciate both, as someone who is submissive. Basically, I think rope and restrain play can be a completely separate genre. And actually a lot of people don't like being tied up. They seem to have trust issues....either with other people or maybe themselves.

 

[Saltfountain]

you may be right, but I think both all across the spectrum can appreciate restraint play all across the spectrum. ie people who align with neither dominant or submissive can very much enjoy both being tied up and tying someone else up, someone who is dominant can appreciate both, as someone who is submissive. Basically, I think rope and restrain play can be a completely separate genre. And actually a lot of people don't like being tied up. They seem to have trust issues....either with other people or maybe themselves.

I mean, I'm totally shit at giving up control like that. I get agitated and anxious rather than turned on or relaxed...

 

[Justadesperatewifeandmom]

I mean, I'm totally shit at giving up control like that. I get agitated and anxious rather than turned on or relaxed...

well my control freak self giving up control finds it is often an illusion. like ok, being out of control would make you agitated and anxious, but are you really even out of control? like, is her (I am assuming it would only be a woman tying you up) knot tying skills even functional enough to actually be restraining if you gave a fuck? Could you still be completely in control even if you are restrained? Even if you don't trust them enough to be in control, do you trust yourself enough to know that you can be in control whenever you damn well please? If you trust yourself enough, then it is just another role play game, might as well run with it and see how it pans out.

 

[Saltfountain]

is her (I am assuming it would only be a woman tying you up) knot tying skills even functional enough to actually be restraining if you gave a fuck?

Ohhhh yes...

She grew up on a farm. She can tie shit well

 

[EndCreditsPart2]

ferris wheel is on the list. ferris wheel, roller coaster, carousel, fun house, haunted house, gravitron, boat/log ride, the train that goes around the park, the swings. The closest I have come is sex at playgrounds and a bit of a handjob on one of the trains that goes around the park. I had high hopes for Erotikaland, alas they did not build it, so we could not cum.

but no, the slingshot is not on my list. I have managed to avoid even getting on that ride.

You may get a kick out of this Defunctland video which spends a little time detailing the amorous adventures some young people had on... a Garfield boat ride.