Funny Memes, signs, gifs etc....

[Smuttyandfun]

 

[BobbyBrandt]

A Lesson in Perspective

One evening, as a man strolled down the street, a ragged homeless man approached him, asking for a few dollars to buy dinner.

The man reached for his wallet, pulled out a ten-dollar bill, and paused. “If I give you this money, will you spend it on beer instead of food?” he asked.

The homeless man shook his head earnestly. “No, sir. I gave up drinking years ago.”

“Will you gamble it away instead of buying food?” the man pressed.

“Not a chance,” the homeless man replied. “I can’t afford to waste money like that.”

The man smirked. “How about greens fees at a golf course?”

The homeless man laughed, shaking his head. “Golf? I haven’t played that in decades!”

“What about spending it on women instead of food?” the man asked, raising an eyebrow.

“For ten bucks?” the homeless man quipped. “I wouldn’t even know where to start with that!”

The man chuckled and put the ten dollars back into his wallet. “Well then,” he said, “I won’t give you the money. Instead, I’m inviting you to my house for a warm, home-cooked meal.”

The homeless man was stunned. “Are you sure? Won’t your wife be upset? I’m filthy, and I probably don’t smell great.”

With a sly smile, the man replied, “Oh, she’ll be fine. In fact, I want her to see exactly what happens to a man when he gives up beer, gambling, golf, and women.”

 

[Smuttyandfun]

 

[Smuttyandfun]

 

[BobbyBrandt]

 

[TheLobster]

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Only two? What about the great and wise monarch Fuc-King?

 

[Rustyoznail]

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This literally happened yesterday to Bec. I was, "Well, what did you expect? You left cheese alone at his nose level."

 

[Lifestyle66]

This literally happened yesterday to Bec. I was, "Well, what did you expect? You left cheese alone at his nose level."

Did Bec learn the dog's lesson?

My daughter had a dog. I'd be home first after work for a few hours. That dog would bark at the door until I'd let it out. Then five minutes later, it would be outside the door howling until I let it back in.

This happened EVERY day, two or three times, until either my wife or daughter came home from work or school.

The dog had me trained, knowing I was more worried about cleaning up it's shit in the house!!! It got the attention it wanted by barking or howling at the door!

 

[Rustyoznail]

Did Bec learn the dog's lesson?

My daughter had a dog. I'd be home first after work for a few hours. That dog would bark at the door until I'd let it out. Then five minutes later, it would be outside the door howling until I let it back in.

This happened EVERY day, two or three times, until either my wife or daughter came home from work or school.

The dog had me trained, knowing I was more worried about cleaning up it's shit in the house!!! It got the attention it wanted by barking or howling at the door!

We'll see if she's learnt...

I can relate to dogs training us.

 

[Smuttyandfun]

 

[dirk2024]

 

[NuclearFairy]

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[Smuttyandfun]

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Wow! They've also got 32 inch eggs!

 

[dirk2024]

I can't tell, are you unsure of the efficacy of said method of binding?

 

[NuclearFairy]

I can't tell, are you unsure of the efficacy of said method of binding?

I'm curious as to whether it would work and considering saving my next one to try it out with.

 

[NotWise]

I'm curious as to whether it would work and considering saving my next one to try it out with.

Maybe if you twisted it a few times . . .

 

[Britva415]

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oh wow I get it now

I asked my parents what the older boys behind the bowling alley meant when they were talking about sea-turtling a girl but they wouldn't tell me

 

[Lifestyle66]

oh wow I get it now

I asked my parents what the older boys behind the bowling alley meant when they were talking about sea-turtling a girl but they wouldn't tell me

Look up "prone position" then learn how sea turtles mate.

Male sea turtles are recognized by the hooks on their front flippers to hold the females' shell.

 

[Smuttyandfun]

sea turtling​

Urban Dictionary
https://www.urbandictionary.com › define



When she has her partner place his flacid penis that resembles a sea turtle head in her mouth and allows the turtle (penis to get erect) inside.

 

[Smuttyandfun]

 

[TheLobster]

Wow! They've also got 32 inch eggs!

And HDTV waffles.

 

[Smuttyandfun]

 

[Bamagan]

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The corollary...

 

[Smuttyandfun]

 

[Wouldlovetoo]

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My son-in-law to a tee.