Game (i dont have it, but want it)

[ShyNerdHere]

What the...? I am even more confused now.

me too

 

[sweetfanny]

me too

Have you learned how to talk to girls yet?

 

[ShyNerdHere]

lol, no


but i dont see how that pertains to dudes hitting on bots.

 

[sweetfanny]

lol, no


but i dont see how that pertains to dudes hitting on bots.

There's always someone with even less skillz?

 

[ShyNerdHere]

ya, i know im not the worst at it.

and i know a bot when i see one

and i am not in the habit of being more crass online than i am in public not much more at least

 

[sweetfanny]

ya, i know im not the worst at it.

and i know a bot when i see one

and i am not in the habit of being more crass online than i am in public not much more at least

Maybe that's your problem.

How similar are your party conversations to the way you've chatted with the femmebots in this thread?

 

[ShyNerdHere]

excluding subject matter, very

 

[sweetfanny]

Oh. Heh. Yeah...

Maybe try asking more non yes/no questions. Like say your thing, and then ask the other person something.

 

[shiny5437]

"A little"?

Yeah, the PUA guys I went out with a couple of times were mostly alright. Some were tossers but they would've been tossers even if they weren't spouting PUA stuff. These guys were going out repeating verbatim the same cheesey crap to every woman they met that night whilst trying to out alpha-male each other. They didn't get very far mostly because they had no concept of what rapport actually is.

The other guys were actually good lads. They were the socially awkward, shy, 'uncool' types that probably had a hard time at school and wouldn't otherwise get much attention from girls. They were really friendly, open, accepting, and encouraging. They didn't find it easy to talk to women and they did get the piss taken out of them by some of the women (primarily for them being socially awkward). But, god love them, they were out having a go and not brooding at home, and if the pick up artist stuff gives them a framework and a starting point then good for them! They respected the women they were trying to chat up and were doing their best to be charming and funny. These guys were more interested in meeting women who might eventually become girlfriends as opposed to one night stands.

The PUA scene is a mixed bag and if someone slavishly adheres to it then they do risk becoming a twat but they're probably a twat anyway. For others it offers something more than the useless advice of 'just be yourself'.

 

[shiny5437]

Oh. Heh. Yeah...

Maybe try asking more non yes/no questions. Like say your thing, and then ask the other person something.

Go for the 'feel and tell'.

"How did you feel about X?"

"Tell me about X"

Although being a good conversationalist alone won't get you out the friendzone.

 

[Bramblethorn]

Oh. Heh. Yeah...

Maybe try asking more non yes/no questions. Like say your thing, and then ask the other person something.

Taking that further: actually be interested in the person you're talking to.

If you script a list of Generic Questions For Ladies and start working through it, odds are pretty good that she'll recognise your interest as fake. (Ever had to deal with crappy phone support people who are very obviously working from a script and not listening to what you're telling them? Yeah, that.)

But if you are interested in her - as a person, not an opportunity - then you won't need that script, because your own interest will supply genuine questions.

 

[ShyNerdHere]

Taking that further: actually be interested in the person you're talking to.
~

But if you are interested in her - as a person, not an opportunity - then you won't need that script, because your own interest will supply genuine questions.

in my experience, this doesn't work well.

people arnt trying to be thinkin about their regular lives at these things. their dancing and telling jokes and all that 'having a good time' stuff. real life kicks back in soon enough the next morning.

 

[shiny5437]

in my experience, this doesn't work well.

people arnt trying to be thinkin about their regular lives at these things. their dancing and telling jokes and all that 'having a good time' stuff. real life kicks back in soon enough the next morning.

I agree with this. Real conversations don't resemble an interrogation. People talk about 'stuff' in a gregarious fashion. If you're not 'inside' the topic or group you're at a loss.

Plus, to have some generic topics / questions isn't a bad thing. At work I know there are certain phrases and communication strategies that work well. The same goes for social situations. The important thing is to adapt and not get stuck.

 

[Bramblethorn]

in my experience, this doesn't work well.

people arnt trying to be thinkin about their regular lives at these things. their dancing and telling jokes and all that 'having a good time' stuff. real life kicks back in soon enough the next morning.

Maybe we hang out with different types of people; the ones I meet are usually delighted to talk about what they do for a living and/or their hobbies.

 

[ShyNerdHere]

Maybe we hang out with different types of people; the ones I meet are usually delighted to talk about what they do for a living and/or their hobbies.

the conversations i can recall hearing at these parties are mostly

who made what concoction going around

how much fun was had at some other recent event

have you met so n so..

other places to hang out at

discussion of clothing and such

 

[NightL]

So, fairly shallow huh?

I so know that type of crowd - you are not missing out on a thing. I would take solid friendships over trying to be part of that style of "in" crowd any time.

If you are so keen to get in - then be the supplier of the concoctions - they will buzz around you like flies. Of course as soon as you get busted for supplying drugs they will run for the hills.

Could any of them be relied upon to help you move house or any number of normal things you would ask of a friend or offer in return? Nope - they would be the last ones you could rely on - they will be too fucked up from the night before to ever see daylight before mid-day (or much later) on the weekends. Here is one for you - if you were ever to be hospitalised with illness/accident, how many would bother to visit or even send well wishes.

Don't jeopardise what you may already have in your life for chasing vacuous girlies who flash a little titty sometimes in an attention seeking grab from their equally shallow partners. (partner or partners)

You mentioned you have a "mrs" in your profile. Can you rely and depend on her to stand by you in times of need. Is she your best friend? Is she someone who you can discuss anything of interest with? Do you have shared values, goals. Are you both happy and willing to attend the other's family events? Do you both plan events and activities together? Do you give each other random gifts of affection - hugs and kisses. How much does that or would that mean to you? How do you view your wife's opinion of your attempts to be in with this crowd?

So, if you do get the magic formula, that you don't say "well" and "but" to and have the success long alluded, what will you actually have? Who will have you become?

 

[ShyNerdHere]

actually, we have made some good friends at these parties.

the 'concoctions' are pretty legal... unless they have banned jummy bear /jello shots.

i think were way over shooting the point, were just talking conversational thermodynamics not peace in gaza

 

[satindesire]

actually, we have made some good friends at these parties.

the 'concoctions' are pretty legal... unless they have banned jummy bear /jello shots.

i think were way over shooting the point, were just talking conversational thermodynamics not peace in gaza

I don't really understand what the problem is. You are obviously charming enough to have scored a WIFE (ala your profile information).

And unless you're looking for a thing on the side, you're set, aren't you?

 

[NightL]

I don't really understand what the problem is. You are obviously charming enough to have scored a WIFE (ala your profile information).

And unless you're looking for a thing on the side, you're set, aren't you?

- maybe some answers here:

Lemme the start with; the wrong response here is "just go do it"


I cannot stand to exercise.



10 years in the military and I never did one extra push up that I didn't have to.

im fatter than i need to be.

got my glands checked and back in check.

i could stand to eat less, but i aim for (and fail to stay close to) 1500 calories a day.

Mrs says 'if more pussy and a bigger dick wont motivate you, then i dont know what will"

ya... it seems oddly enough that those are not enough motivation.


so, how do i induce the the right kind of stroke that will make me want to exercise.

 

[satindesire]

- maybe some answers here:

"More" as in more from her, or more from other women?

I was in that thread, hence my questions.

 

[ShyNerdHere]

ya'll are nosey lol

getting marrieds easy (unless your gay, i guess)

staying married (18 years next month), statistically is not.

making semi random ladies smile/giggle/blush, is a whole other thing and isnt as related to the other things as it may seem.

 

[shiny5437]

So basically you've been married 18 years, feel a bit out of shape, and just want to still feel attractive to women. If you were a women you'd put on a bit of slap, push up bra, and enjoy the admiring glances from guys around you. If you were an overweight women you could claim to be BBW and be admired for being comfortable in your own skin. As a guy, unless you are exceptionally handsome, to get the same feeling of being attractive you have to chat, charm, and flirt. Doesn't necessarily mean you want to be unfaithful; you just want to feel attractive like we all want to feel. All seems fair enough.


BTW getting married (or anything like that) is not easy!

 

[ShyNerdHere]

they are basically separate issues

i still have my skrawny person brain. its just the rest of me thats needs to get its shit together.

i wear my fat pretty well, i think thats an advantage men have in the gender wars.

other is merely cultivating a skill set. the end point of which is the production of the one of the closest things to magic we have; the smile of a pretty / sexy/ attractive (what ever term you prefer) female (or male if thats what cha want).

 

[Que]

ya'll are nosey lol

getting marrieds easy (unless your gay, i guess)

staying married (18 years next month), statistically is not.

making semi random ladies smile/giggle/blush, is a whole other thing and isnt as related to the other things as it may seem.

There's not a damn thing wrong with wanting to feel attractive and being validated by those little giggles.

Reading between the lines it sounds as if your wife is fairly secure an OK with the idea of you flirting a bit.

My ex father in law after my divorce was giving me some advice and he was saying you can pretty much do anything you want to as long as she knows for sure you're coming home to her... This was said in conjunction with our discussion about the fact that he is a shameless flirt.

 

[ShyNerdHere]

ya, mrs is fully aware, ok, and participatory.

my popses saying is more along the lines of

when turkey season comes in, hunt turkeys. because you can hunt tail anytime.

my mother hates that saying...