General Board folks you'd like to see here

[WriterDom]

(There are some people who coax me out. You always do, Cheyenne.)

It's all around you, Cheyenne. You're just not seeing it. Yet. ;-)

Not in the Midwest dolly. I only found one sub in both North Dakota and South Dakota on bondage.com.

 

[AngelicAssassin]

It isn't even close to the norm for our society so it IS an alien concept to most of us ... Most of society doesn't have source of information. Yet.

They've got multiple sources. Pink Orchid named one below.

Cheyenne, maybe try looking at it a different way ... an athlete. No one thinks it's odd that an athlete endures bruises, pushes him or herself past normal physical limits, runs until bones are broken or tendons pulled beyond use. I don't think I need to list the injuries football players, boxers, bikers, runners, basketball players, equestrians, swimmers, etc. endure, yet it's socially acceptable so no one questions it. The athletes I know endure much more pain and much more permanent damage to their bodies than nearly any BDSMer I know.

Given the energy, i bet most of us could name quite a few more. Just an opinion, but many in society

• don't see past the blinders they impose upon themselves
• can't yank the head out of the hindquarters long enough to smell roses instead of sh!t
• refuse to leave the herd mentality unless forcibly separated

Last words from the conformist: "Why is this happening to me? i followed all the rules!"

Last words to the conformist: "But did you live?"

 

[A Desert Rose]

Not in the Midwest dolly. I only found one sub in both North Dakota and South Dakota on bondage.com.

Well, you keep looking. You'll get lucky. I'm sure of it.

 

[P. B. Walker]

That would mean he hasn't been following through with his daily dose of butt plug!

That's a fact, for sure!

 

[DVS]

It isn't even close to the norm for our society so it IS an alien concept to most of us.

The only reason I think I have some small understanding of it, at least enough to know there are people out there who really enjoy it, is because of Lit. Most of society doesn't have source of information. Yet.

It's out there, just not blatant enough for all to see. Only the ones "in the know" see it now. Movies, TV shows, music, books and magazines all show bits of minor BDSM.

Have you listened to music lyrics, lately? Watched the current dance steps? It isn't blatant, but the trend has started. Now, it's only a matter of time.

Spanking, bondage, simple submission scenes are being seen, read and talked about. NYPD Blue has had several shows where the detectives go to a house full of BDSM toys. One of the detectives mentions one toy by name, and the others look at him with a knowing eye.

People into the Goth craze also consider BDSM to some extent. Most of it is show, but some isn't.

Family hour comedy TV where one character might mention to someone that they should be spanked, and instead of showing a look of fright, the character smiles, knowingly.

A movie like The Secretary would never be so popular a few years ago. Today, it is inspiring otherwise vanilla people to try a little bondage or spanking in their bedrooms. It escalates from there.

You might be surprised how many very religious families have dominant and submissive roles without knowing how close to BDSM it is. The man of the house is king, and the wife does his bidding. Yes, it still happens, even after women's lib. I don't know if they involve sexual submission, but I wouldn't say it doesn't.

If the parents don't give it a try, the kids do.
I know more than one set of minister's kids who all turned out kinky. A family of 5 kids, all very intelligent, all now into one form or another of BDSM, can't be abnormal.

Catholic family kids seem to be curious, if not already practicing B/d. I know of several Catholic girls who expressed interest after finding such a practice existed.

The more out in the open BDSM becomes, the more the curious will also come out. Anything that's been taboo will have trouble spreading through the population.

I remember when tattoos and piercing were only done by bikers, truckers and carnival types. It didn't take much to open that up.

Personally, I've helped introduce my share of newbies to BDSM. They are all curious but don't know how or where to begin, because of the stigma that's still there.

But, it's out there, and slowly finding its way into the minds of curious people everywhere, even in the midwest, where I live.

 

[AngelicAssassin]

Duck on a beetle

It's out there, just not blatant enough for all to see ... Catholic ...

And before the media decided sick priests made good copy for selling news ... hmm ... about 1000 years back, more than a few cloisters had more than a few pious brothers practicing self-flagellation in their cells in the middle of the night. Nuns using rulers on the backs of errant school children, the college Greek society carrying the "Holey staffs" during pledge induction, and the beat goes on ...

 

[MissTaken]

I really don't understand those who don't understand. I mean, I understand that they don't get into it like I do, but some people make it sound like an alien concept. It's not. It's always been with us humans and it almost certainly always will be.

I dont' know.
Ten years ago this was an "alien concept" in that I had never fantasized about any of it, not even a spanking.

Chey is aware that it exists, but perhaps, she is simply saying it holds no appeal for her at this point in time; No more appeal than engaging in a triathilon does for me. Why would someone do something like that?

I like winning, but prefer it be at the pool table or a game of cards!



So, does anyone here truly believe that some people can be completely happy and fulfilled in their relationship if it is of the more traditional sexual variety?

I will answer my question later.

 

[AngelicAssassin]

So, does anyone here truly believe that some people can be completely happy and fulfilled in their relationship if it is of the more traditional sexual variety?

Yep, but then some prefer a simple meat and potatos diet every day.

i'd rather have my taste buds get a workout.

 

[Phoenix Stone]

Hi Chey and all,

meant to join this discussion earlier. I spent quite a while trying to figure what bdsm is and if what I like is part of it, as my interests didn't seem to fit anywhere else. Some things I learned are:

like anything else, there is a continuum.
For instance, do you like hickies? Those nibbles on your neck? I always LOVED those, when done right, but wouldn't have thought of it as bdsm. S

SM isn't exactly about liking pain in the sense I'd thought of it -- for many it's more about enjoying extremes of sensation that make you writhe. Also, liking the endorphin affect you get after a while.

Bondage isn't necessarily about ropes and pulleys and a fascination with equipment, though it could be. It can be just as much about truly putting yourself in someone else's physical control.

A lot of bdsm is about intensity.

Many people into bdsm don't wear black or leather.

there are a LOT of people who are or have switched, ie. gone from the more dominant to the more submissive role, or vice versa. Roles aren't hard and fast.

I'm not into bondage OR pain-play. Yet, I consider myself fully a member of this community and sense a lot of shared sexual territory. I AM into D/s. While considering myself a Feminist! As do many others here.

I don't fantasize about or have much interest in, anything that would fit the classic 'picture' of bdsm -- whips, leather, etc. On the other hand, some of what I fantasize about (control stuff), definitely fits. and the rest (non-consent) could be considered possibly a related kink to edge-play, or at least, if approached with SSC (safe sane and what's the last one?) guidelines, has common psychological territory perhaps. Kind of a subkink. Or maybe it's just that some of us pervs admit to more than one kink here.

Does any of this help you understand better?

 

[DVS]

I dont' know.
Ten years ago this was an "alien concept" in that I had never fantasized about any of it, not even a spanking...So, does anyone here truly believe that some people can be completely happy and fulfilled in their relationship if it is of the more traditional sexual variety?

Well, I've known I liked bondage, control and spanking for most of my life. I didn't completely know what it was at first, but I had the luxury of learning some of it with a neighbor girl, down the street.
At that early age, we knew nothing about sex, only spanking and some light bondage, for the most part. I knew there was something missing, but still liked what we shared.

We found out (still not sure of why we liked it) she liked to be spanked and I liked to spank her. She was 8 and I was 10, when our fun started. So, it's difficult for me to hear someone say they just found out about BDSM in their adult life.

But, I do know I was lucky in finding it so early. I also know most aren't so lucky. To this day, I remember that neighbor girl fondly (fondly, get it?).

But, I also know BDSM is not for everybody. I learned that quite vividly, when I tried to find partners in my younger years. I was seen as a pervert and a sicko, many times over.

I wondered if there was something wrong with me. The neighbor girl had since moved away, so I was alone. I lived in a small midwestern town (2,000 people), so anything would quickly travel. I knew I was different and that was difficult. "Normal" sex was less than satisfying.

Yes, I know not everybody is into BDSM. And yes, I know many are satisfied with the missionary position for 5 minutes before bed. That's the curse of my parent's generation.

I think the baby boomers have tried to break away from that, for the most part, and make sex more than a way to have children. But, you will still find people who feel strongly that sex is only for creating life. And, they seem satisfied with that.

Do I think everybody would benefit from experiencing BDSM? No. Not everybody enjoys the same things. That's part of what's good in this world...variety. I know many people are very happy with their normal sexual lives.

But, I do think there are many out there who think something is missing in their lives and some form of sexual deviation would fulfill what's missing.

I often wonder how many people are truly satisfied with their sex lives. I'm sure, whatever side you're on, you probably consider the scale is weighted in favor of that side.

But, reading posts in this forum, there are truly a lot of people wanting more out of their sex lives, and not getting it. Anyone satisfied with how they are, normal or kinky, should feel lucky.

 

[Cheyenne]

They've got multiple sources. Pink Orchid named one below.

Don't edit my comment and then comment on what I didn't say. That's a lanciepants approach to posting.

I was specifically referring to Lit.

 

[Cheyenne]

You might be surprised how many very religious families have dominant and submissive roles without knowing how close to BDSM it is. The man of the house is king, and the wife does his bidding. Yes, it still happens, even after women's lib. I don't know if they involve sexual submission, but I wouldn't say it doesn't.

Another fine example of something I couldn't live with, either.

 

[AngelicAssassin]

Don't edit my comment and then comment on what I didn't say. That's a lanciepants approach to posting.

I was specifically referring to Lit.

Here's your entire comment.

It isn't even close to the norm for our society so it IS an alien concept to most of us.

The only reason I think I have some small understanding of it, at least enough to know there are people out there who really enjoy it, is because of Lit. Most of society doesn't have source of information. Yet.

i have no issue with you about Lit as a source of information. You believe your understanding came from Lit, i agree. i didn't question your personal belief, therefore didn't include it.

i do question "alien concept to most of us" and "most of society doesn't have a source of information." i found Pink Orchid's example quite pointed as a point of dispute to the italicized snips above. Most people in society can admire, cheer, and pay an athlete for physical performance possibly detrimental to their health. How much of a stretch can it be that performance does vary in bedrooms other than their own?

 

[Cheyenne]

Here's your entire comment.i have no issue with you about Lit as a source of information. You believe your understanding came from Lit, i agree. i didn't question your personal belief, therefore didn't include it.

i do question "alien concept to most of us" and "most of society doesn't have a source of information." i found Pink Orchid's example quite pointed as a point of dispute to the italicized snips above. Most people in society can admire, cheer, and pay an athlete for physical performance possibly detrimental to their health. How much of a stretch can it be that performance does vary in bedrooms other than their own?

Once again, I was referring to Lit as a specific source of information. I don't think you can dispute that most of society doesn't come to Lit.

 

[AngelicAssassin]

Once again, I was referring to Lit as a specific source of information. I don't think you can dispute that most of society doesn't come to Lit.

Post by pagan switch

It isn't even close to the norm for our society so it IS an alien concept to most of us.

The only reason I think I have some small understanding of it, at least enough to know there are people out there who really enjoy it, is because of Lit. Most of society doesn't have source of information. Yet.

Pardon the red edit, but the missing words make a difference. If you intend the following ...

Most of society doesn't have LIT as a source of information.

... i won't dispute most of society doesn't come to Lit, would care to come Lit, or any other permutation and we're in agreement. If not, *shrug*

That leaves what i highlighted in blue. Because most of our society doesn't come to Lit, they find BDSM an alien concept?

 

[Lancecastor]

I see nothing particularly odd or wrong with anyone deciding they want/don't want BDSM in their lives.

But I always find it odd when someone spends a lot of time here asking all sorts of questions and explaining why they don't see themselves doing specific things BDSM....because what it really says, I think, is that they ARE interested, they DO want to do it...but just haven't the courage to jump off the dock and into the water.

KillerMuffin used to do it all the time...she's as kinky as my phone cord, I'd bet on it.

MissT spent ages here loudly saying she was a sub but talking constantly about Doms....what to say/not say to them, etc....because she was really a D who hadn't taken the plunge.

Chey's a Domme in housewife's clothing.

So let's make her feel welcome.

I'm looking forward to being right about this as well....I think the pics will be a hoot.

 

[Never]

Stabity McStaberton

Sorry, GBers are scary. I wouldn't want them running around here.

 

[Harbinger]

Sorry, GBers are scary. I wouldn't want them running around here.

True. Too many of them run with scissors. Dangerous folk.

 

[DVS]

Another fine example of something I couldn't live with, either.

As a clarification, I added this as just an example of what likely exists in the world. That doesn't mean I thought it was something good or something bad.

Quite frankly, I wouldn't like that sort of situation, either. I prefer someone equal to myself, in a relationship. That's someone who has an opinion and isn't shy to express it.

 

[A Desert Rose]

As a clarification, I added this as just an example of what likely exists in the world. That doesn't mean I thought it was something good or something bad.

Quite frankly, I wouldn't like that sort of situation, either. I prefer someone equal to myself, in a relationship. That's someone who has an opinion and isn't shy to express it.

Yes but you're not the average-everyday-kinda-Domly-dude, either. ;-)

 

[DVS]

Yes but you're not the average-everyday-kinda-Domly-dude, either. ;-)

Thank you. I take that as a compliment.

 

[DVS]

KillerMuffin used to do it all the time...

She quit?

 

[PinkOrchid]

 

[RavenSpirit2k4]

If you want other people to respect your choices, it's wise to respect theirs.

~nods~

 

[PinkOrchid]