Georgia directory?
- Thread starter heterotic
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Dirty_Angel26
On my knees
- Joined
- Nov 29, 2003
- Posts
- 4,999
Why don't I move my hand and you can put yours in there?
Dirty_Angel26
On my knees
- Joined
- Nov 29, 2003
- Posts
- 4,999
Only a nose? I was thinking of something MUCH bigger.
> > > >One day a little cat was walking through the park when he came across a
> > > >pond
> > > >He peered into the pond and noticed that at the bottom of the pond
>there
> > > >was
> > > >a little cocktail sausage. The cat was feeling quite peckish so as the
> > > >water
> > > >wasn't that deep he reached in with his little paw and hooked the
>sausage
> > > >out and ate it.
> > > >The next day the cat was walking through the park again and he peered
> > into
> > > >the pond again - there was another sausage but this time it was a
>normal
> > > >sized one so the cat reached in but this time he had to put his whole
>arm
> > > >into the pond. The cat hooked the sausage out and ate it.
> > > >The next day the cat looked into the pond and found an enormous
> > Cumberland
> > > >sausage at the bottom of the pond it looked so delicious, but it was so
> > > >huge
> > > >that he had to actually put the whole of his body into the pond to get
> > the
> > > >sausage. He ate it and found it very tasty!
> > > >THE MORAL OF THE STORY.......(ur gonna love this)
> > > >
> > > >
> > > >
> > > >The bigger the Sausage - the wetter the Pussy !!!!
> > > >
> > > >pond
> > > >He peered into the pond and noticed that at the bottom of the pond
>there
> > > >was
> > > >a little cocktail sausage. The cat was feeling quite peckish so as the
> > > >water
> > > >wasn't that deep he reached in with his little paw and hooked the
>sausage
> > > >out and ate it.
> > > >The next day the cat was walking through the park again and he peered
> > into
> > > >the pond again - there was another sausage but this time it was a
>normal
> > > >sized one so the cat reached in but this time he had to put his whole
>arm
> > > >into the pond. The cat hooked the sausage out and ate it.
> > > >The next day the cat looked into the pond and found an enormous
> > Cumberland
> > > >sausage at the bottom of the pond it looked so delicious, but it was so
> > > >huge
> > > >that he had to actually put the whole of his body into the pond to get
> > the
> > > >sausage. He ate it and found it very tasty!
> > > >THE MORAL OF THE STORY.......(ur gonna love this)
> > > >
> > > >
> > > >
> > > >The bigger the Sausage - the wetter the Pussy !!!!
> > > >
"The positive side of life"
Living on Earth is expensive,
but it does include a free trip
around the sun every year.
How long a minute is
depends on what side of the
bathroom door you're on.
Birthdays are good for you;
the more you have,
the longer you live.
Happiness comes through doors you
didn't even know you left open.
Ever notice that the people who
are late
are often much jollier
than the people who have to wait
for them?
Most of us go to our grave
with our music still inside of us.
If Wal-Mart is lowering prices
every day,
how come nothing is free yet?
You may be only one person in the
world,
but you may also be the world to
one person.
Some mistakes are too much fun
to only make once.
Don't cry because it's over;
smile because it happened.
We could learn a lot from crayons:
some are sharp,
some are pretty,
some are dull,
some have weird names,
and all are different colors....
but they all exist very nicely in the same box.
A truly happy person is one who can enjoy
the scenery on a detour.
Have an awesome day,
and know that someone who thinks you're great
has thought about you today!..
"And that person was me.".....
Living on Earth is expensive,
but it does include a free trip
around the sun every year.
How long a minute is
depends on what side of the
bathroom door you're on.
Birthdays are good for you;
the more you have,
the longer you live.
Happiness comes through doors you
didn't even know you left open.
Ever notice that the people who
are late
are often much jollier
than the people who have to wait
for them?
Most of us go to our grave
with our music still inside of us.
If Wal-Mart is lowering prices
every day,
how come nothing is free yet?
You may be only one person in the
world,
but you may also be the world to
one person.
Some mistakes are too much fun
to only make once.
Don't cry because it's over;
smile because it happened.
We could learn a lot from crayons:
some are sharp,
some are pretty,
some are dull,
some have weird names,
and all are different colors....
but they all exist very nicely in the same box.
A truly happy person is one who can enjoy
the scenery on a detour.
Have an awesome day,
and know that someone who thinks you're great
has thought about you today!..
"And that person was me.".....
clsc69vette
Really Experienced
- Joined
- Apr 24, 2002
- Posts
- 167
Hi All
Welcome Crowdsurfer to our little corner of the world, hope you enjoy the experience!
Had a good day today and realized just how wonderful it is to have friends who love you just the way you are and accept you faults and all.
Welcome Crowdsurfer to our little corner of the world, hope you enjoy the experience!
Had a good day today and realized just how wonderful it is to have friends who love you just the way you are and accept you faults and all.
Dirty_Angel26
On my knees
- Joined
- Nov 29, 2003
- Posts
- 4,999
Hello everyone! I hope you are all having a good night. I went to have my taxes done and I made the mistake of taking my son. That was disaster! I saw a little sign on one of their desks that said " You ever notice, when you put the words, The Irs,together it spells Theirs"
You all have been such wonderful friends to me. It is good to know that I can come here several times a day and get to talk to a bunch of really wonderful people.
You all have been such wonderful friends to me. It is good to know that I can come here several times a day and get to talk to a bunch of really wonderful people.
crowdsurfer
Literotica Guru
- Joined
- Mar 4, 2001
- Posts
- 1,232
Dirty_Angel26 said:
Crowdsurfer...Welcome darlin
Thanks Dirty.....hope I make some friends here!?
clsc69vette
Really Experienced
- Joined
- Apr 24, 2002
- Posts
- 167
Morning! Just popping in to say Good Morning and wish everyone a great day!
Dirty_Angel26
On my knees
- Joined
- Nov 29, 2003
- Posts
- 4,999
crowdsurfer said:
I am sure that won't be a problem. We are a good bunch and we all enjoy having new friends come and join us here.
Dirty_Angel26
On my knees
- Joined
- Nov 29, 2003
- Posts
- 4,999
Goodmorning everyone. Have a wonderful and blessed day!
Tinman...Welcome back sweetie
Tye.. Welcome back to you as well
Tinman...Welcome back sweetie
Tye.. Welcome back to you as well
good morning ya'll hope everyone is having a great day 
Jay whatever you do don't hid in the refrig
Heaven's New Policy
It was getting a little crowded in Heaven, so God decided to change the admittance policy. The new law was that, in order to get into Heaven, you had to have a really bad day when you died. The policy would go into effect at noon the next day. The next day at 12:01, the first person came to the gates of Heaven. The Angel at the gate, remembering the new policy, promptly said to the man, "Before I let you in, I need you to tell me how your day was going when you died." "No problem," the man said. "I came home to my 25th floor apartment on my lunch hour and caught my wife half naked. She appeared to be having an affair, but her lover was nowhere in sight. I immediately began searching for him. My wife was yelling at me as I searched the entire apartment. Just as I was about to give up, I happened to glance out onto the balcony and noticed that there was a man hanging off the edge by his fingertips! The nerve of that guy! Well, I ran out onto the balcony and stomped on his fingers until he fell to the ground. But wouldn't you know it, he landed in some trees and bushes that broke his fall and he didn't die. This pissed me off even more. In a rage, I went back inside to get the first thing I could get my hands on to throw at him. Oddly enough, the first thing I thought of was the refrigerator. I unplugged it, pushed it out onto the balcony, and tipped it over the side. It plummeted 25 stories and crushed him! The excitement of the moment was so great that I had a heart attack and died almost instantly."
The Angel sat back and thought a moment. Technically, the guy did have a bad day. It was a crime of passion. So,the Angel announced, "Ok, sir. Welcome to the Kingdom of Heaven," and let him in.
A few seconds later the next guy came up. The Angel said, "Before I can let you in, I need to hear about what your day was like when you died."
"No problem," said the second man. "But you're not going to believe this. I was on the balcony of my 26th floor apartment doing my daily exercises. Having been under a lot of pressure I was really pushing hard to relieve my stress. I guess I got a little carried away, slipped, and accidentally fell over the side! Luckily, I was able to catch myself by the fingertips on the balcony below mine. But all of a sudden this crazy man comes running out of his apartment, started cussing, and stomps on my fingers. Well, of course I fell. I hit some trees and bushes at the bottom which broke my fall so I didn't die right away. As I'm laying there face up on the ground, unable to move, and in excruciating pain, I see this guy push his refrigerator, of all things, off the balcony. It falls the 25 floors and lands on top of me, killing me instantly."
The Angel is quietly laughing to himself as the man finishes his story. "I could get used to this new policy," he thinks to himself. "Very well," the Angel announces. "Welcome to the Kingdom of Heaven," and he lets the man enter.
A few seconds later, a third man comes up to the gate. The angel says," Please tell me how you died." The third man says,"Ok, picture this. I'm naked, hiding inside a refrigerator...."
Jay whatever you do don't hid in the refrig
Heaven's New Policy
It was getting a little crowded in Heaven, so God decided to change the admittance policy. The new law was that, in order to get into Heaven, you had to have a really bad day when you died. The policy would go into effect at noon the next day. The next day at 12:01, the first person came to the gates of Heaven. The Angel at the gate, remembering the new policy, promptly said to the man, "Before I let you in, I need you to tell me how your day was going when you died." "No problem," the man said. "I came home to my 25th floor apartment on my lunch hour and caught my wife half naked. She appeared to be having an affair, but her lover was nowhere in sight. I immediately began searching for him. My wife was yelling at me as I searched the entire apartment. Just as I was about to give up, I happened to glance out onto the balcony and noticed that there was a man hanging off the edge by his fingertips! The nerve of that guy! Well, I ran out onto the balcony and stomped on his fingers until he fell to the ground. But wouldn't you know it, he landed in some trees and bushes that broke his fall and he didn't die. This pissed me off even more. In a rage, I went back inside to get the first thing I could get my hands on to throw at him. Oddly enough, the first thing I thought of was the refrigerator. I unplugged it, pushed it out onto the balcony, and tipped it over the side. It plummeted 25 stories and crushed him! The excitement of the moment was so great that I had a heart attack and died almost instantly."
The Angel sat back and thought a moment. Technically, the guy did have a bad day. It was a crime of passion. So,the Angel announced, "Ok, sir. Welcome to the Kingdom of Heaven," and let him in.
A few seconds later the next guy came up. The Angel said, "Before I can let you in, I need to hear about what your day was like when you died."
"No problem," said the second man. "But you're not going to believe this. I was on the balcony of my 26th floor apartment doing my daily exercises. Having been under a lot of pressure I was really pushing hard to relieve my stress. I guess I got a little carried away, slipped, and accidentally fell over the side! Luckily, I was able to catch myself by the fingertips on the balcony below mine. But all of a sudden this crazy man comes running out of his apartment, started cussing, and stomps on my fingers. Well, of course I fell. I hit some trees and bushes at the bottom which broke my fall so I didn't die right away. As I'm laying there face up on the ground, unable to move, and in excruciating pain, I see this guy push his refrigerator, of all things, off the balcony. It falls the 25 floors and lands on top of me, killing me instantly."
The Angel is quietly laughing to himself as the man finishes his story. "I could get used to this new policy," he thinks to himself. "Very well," the Angel announces. "Welcome to the Kingdom of Heaven," and he lets the man enter.
A few seconds later, a third man comes up to the gate. The angel says," Please tell me how you died." The third man says,"Ok, picture this. I'm naked, hiding inside a refrigerator...."
lstbs
Literotica Guru
- Joined
- Nov 28, 2003
- Posts
- 685
"bama"
Want to say that no matter how bad the day is going at work, that last two days have been great. Looking up this thread and seeing the jokes your posting is great...as its putting a smile on my face as I sit here and read between getting the work done. Keep up the good work...Thanks
Want to say that no matter how bad the day is going at work, that last two days have been great. Looking up this thread and seeing the jokes your posting is great...as its putting a smile on my face as I sit here and read between getting the work done. Keep up the good work...Thanks
Jayzan
Literotica Guru
- Joined
- Oct 30, 2003
- Posts
- 711
Darlin, the only fridg I would hide would be yours. That way I know you wouldnt let no one push me over the edge. But cant we talk about the things that happen before I get in the fridg.
I'm just wondering why everything started to melt when I got in there.
I'm just wondering why everything started to melt when I got in there.
25 signs you have grown up
1. Your house plants are alive, and you can't smoke
>any of them.
>2. Having sex in a twin bed is out of the question.
>3. You keep more food than beer in the fridge.
>4. 6:00 AM is when you get up, not when you go to bed.
>5. You hear your favorite song on an elevator.
>6. You watch the Weather Channel.
>7. Your friends marry and divorce instead of hook up
>and break up.
>8. You go from 130 days of vacation time to 14.
>9. Jeans and a sweater no longer qualify as "dressed
>up."
>10. You're the one calling the police because those
>damn kids next door won't turn down the stereo.
>11. Older relatives feel comfortable telling sex jokes
>around you.
>12. You don't know what time Taco Bell closes anymore.
>13. Your car insurance goes down and your payments go
>up.
>14. You feed your dog Science Diet instead of
>McDonalds leftovers.
>15. Sleeping on the couch makes your back hurt.
>16. You no longer take naps from noon to 6 PM.
>17. Dinner and a movie is the whole date instead of
>the beginning of one.
>18. Eating a basket of chicken wings at 3 AM would
>severely upset, rather than settle your stomach.
>19. You go to the drug store for ibuprofen and antacid, not condoms and
>pregnancy tests.
>20. A $4.00 bottle of wine is no longer "pretty good
>stuff."
>21. You actually eat breakfast food at breakfast time.
>22. "I just can't drink the way I used to," replaces,
>"I'm never going to drink that much again."
>23. 90% of the time you spend in front of a computer
>is for real work.
>24. You drink at home to save money before going to a
>bar.
>25. You read this entire list looking desperately for one sign that
>doesn't apply to you and can't find one to save your sorry old ass.
>
well I did find one!! 90% I am on the puter is for fun!!
1. Your house plants are alive, and you can't smoke
>any of them.
>2. Having sex in a twin bed is out of the question.
>3. You keep more food than beer in the fridge.
>4. 6:00 AM is when you get up, not when you go to bed.
>5. You hear your favorite song on an elevator.
>6. You watch the Weather Channel.
>7. Your friends marry and divorce instead of hook up
>and break up.
>8. You go from 130 days of vacation time to 14.
>9. Jeans and a sweater no longer qualify as "dressed
>up."
>10. You're the one calling the police because those
>damn kids next door won't turn down the stereo.
>11. Older relatives feel comfortable telling sex jokes
>around you.
>12. You don't know what time Taco Bell closes anymore.
>13. Your car insurance goes down and your payments go
>up.
>14. You feed your dog Science Diet instead of
>McDonalds leftovers.
>15. Sleeping on the couch makes your back hurt.
>16. You no longer take naps from noon to 6 PM.
>17. Dinner and a movie is the whole date instead of
>the beginning of one.
>18. Eating a basket of chicken wings at 3 AM would
>severely upset, rather than settle your stomach.
>19. You go to the drug store for ibuprofen and antacid, not condoms and
>pregnancy tests.
>20. A $4.00 bottle of wine is no longer "pretty good
>stuff."
>21. You actually eat breakfast food at breakfast time.
>22. "I just can't drink the way I used to," replaces,
>"I'm never going to drink that much again."
>23. 90% of the time you spend in front of a computer
>is for real work.
>24. You drink at home to save money before going to a
>bar.
>25. You read this entire list looking desperately for one sign that
>doesn't apply to you and can't find one to save your sorry old ass.
>
well I did find one!! 90% I am on the puter is for fun!!
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