Help me out on this....

[Valdimer]

Your mom? Uhhhhh, *uuurp*...

Gee, I dont think so, I was pretty drunk that nite. *snickers*

And where is my maiden?! HUH?


How come I dont get one?

Ah well, victory is just as sweet with beer I guess........
*guuzzles*


"Where does he get those wonderful toys?"

Tune in next post, TRUE BELIEVERS!! As we find out if Vald really did shag Rave's mom!

Will he get a maiden? *audience member* HELL NO!

HEY! You just sit down and shut the hell up!

*dramatic organ music*

 

[Guest]

why does everyone want a maiden???
why not a wench... ???

 

[doctor_insanus]

Why do you smell like shoe polish?

 

[Guest]

so thats what that smell is.

 

[Ravenloft]

There is no such thing as an EVIL KEVIN CLONE! Did super man have an evil clone?

...What?! He did!?

FUCK!!!!

Well... Did, Spiderman?

...Him too?

Aha! Wolverine! He never had one!!!

...Albert? Albert who?

Damn it all!

Oh, oh! I know!!!

Slapstick! He never had an evil clone!!!

So, by this logic, THERE CAN BE NO SUCH THING AS AN EVIL KEVIN CLONE!

KILLER BABOONS ALWAYS GRAB ASS BEFORE THEY KILL! DON'T YOU KNOW ANYTHING?! THATS WHAT THEY DID TO MY FAMILY!

Doctor Insanus... Why would you say... That the KILLER BABOONS are just a cover up... For something more nefarious?!

*Giving Insanus a paranoid look.*

From this moment forth, the KILLER BABOONS will no longer be known as KILLER BABOONS, but as KILLER ASS GRABIN BABOONS! Those responcible for the previous misnomer have been sacked...

...Thank you...

Maidens are all giggly when you grope their asses...

Wenches just say: more to the left!

*Shrugging*

 

[Guest]

Oh No...

anything but giggly


and hey... wenches are just trying to tell ya how to do it right damn it

 

[doctor_insanus]

*Looks around for signs of the baboon invasion*

As I suspected... they seem to have vanished as quickly as they arrived. Most curious.

*Glances suspiciously at the seemingly innocent Valdimer and Ravenloft*

Something just doesn't add up here. And I'm gonna get to the bottom of it, dammit! Until then, I need to mingle... to blend in...

Oh look, a sailboat!

 

[Guest]

'Sailboat??? what sailboat??? I don't so no stinkin sailboat'

hey doc.... you feeling ok??

 

[Valdimer]

"Its a scooner!"

"Hahaha, you dumb bastard. its a sailboat."

"A scooner is a sailboat STUPIDHEAD!"

*Announcer*

And now back to our regularly scheduled programming....

*Moves off Raves mom*

Oh! Huh huh, HI!

*Whistles while moving toward Dr. Insanus*

Hmmm, it is strange. Those KILLER ASS GRABIN BABOONS. did leave....

*Pulls out flimsy dildo, and raises it to whack Insanus on the head*

*Grabs jadedpast*

Come here wench!!

 

[Xander]

*Effects of the Literotica Frat house*

Mooooooo??

 

[doctor_insanus]

*Rolls with the blow, tumbling through a nearby doorway*

I knew it! You bastards! You ARE evil!

*Pulls a .44 from his pants*

Fortunately, I've always got my backup...

*Takes aim at Valdimer*

Click... click... click...

Dammit! I knew there was something I was forgetting!

 

[Guest]

" a little to the left'


hehehehe

 

[Ravenloft]

True, Wenches usually try to tell you WHERE and HOW to stick it... But in the olden days, they usually got dragged to some sweaty, stinky PSUDO-BABOON'S bed room where they could scream the night away. *Blowing on knuckles.*

Val! Get your cock out of my mom!

Don't make me bring Boo out!

He hasn't been used in a long, long time!

Boo, my miniature GIANT space hamster, for those of you that didn't know!

*Looking over at Xander.*

You remember don't you...

How's your ass???

Just don't get Boo wet... You'll regret et!

...Snoogens...

 

[Xander]

*silently checking storage of TNT....AK-47's....and Magnum 357 S&M's*

*In Cool voice*.......Bring it on....

 

[Valdimer]

*To Jadedpast*

Hefts her over his shoulder, grunting like a caveman

*Turns to Dr. Insanus*

May the dildo of might bring you down you vile and evil beast!!

*Record scratches*


Wait, wait, wait. Were the HELL did a miniture GIANT space hamster come from?! I thought this was about evil Kevin clones? Err, I mean KILLER BABOONS!

 

[Guest]

why am I suddenly hearing 'Captain... CAAAAAAVVEEEMMAAAAN'

in the background??

 

[doctor_insanus]

*Looking around at no one in particular*

Dude, this is pretty fucked up here!

*Tosses the .44 aside and assumes a fighting stance*

I don't need no stinking guns to stop you! I know karate, jujitsu... and six other Japanese words!

 

[Valdimer]

Gets in fighting stance, still holding Jadedpast

"Oh yea??? Well I know SLAPSTICK COMEDY!! I've watched the 3 stooges and I tell ya, they've taught me alot!!

Menicingly jabs first two fingers toward Dr. Insanus

 

[doctor_insanus]

*Instinctively puts his hand between his eyes to fend off the vicious assault*

Ha ha ha! You poor bastard! I have been well-schooled in Stooge tactics... just part of my government-sponsored "killer agent" training program!

*Prepares to bonk Valdimer on the forehead*

Nyuk yuk yuk!

 

[Guest]

*reaches in pocket and pulls out nail file....figures she is going to be here for a while*

 

[LAVA GODDESSS]

Lost in the jumble of things...somehow Lava has found herself back at the Killer Ass Grabbing Baboons lair...


uh-oh....

 

[doctor_insanus]

Oh my God! You don't know what you've gotten yourself into!

It's even worse than we thought! Run!

*Trips and falls through the nearest window*

Medic...

 

[Ravenloft]

*Ducking out of the main mayhem.*

*Rushing through many a secret cave and passage.*

*Donning a black cape, and a black helmet that looks suspiciously like a Varth Dater mask...*

So, your highness, we meet again!

*I say menacingly as I step forward from the shadows of the KILLER ASS GRABIN BABOON'S lair.*

I trust the KILLER ASS GRABIN BABOON'S have seen to your every need?

Good, good...

Now...

*Dismissing my own personal ARMY OF KILLER ASS GRABIN BABOONS.*

Yes, yes... They were my willing servants this ENTIRE TIME!

*Stepping forward, looking down upon the captured Lava Goddesss.*

Shocked are you?

How, you might ask, could I control them?

Well you see...

*We now leave for station identification*

Bloooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo(gasp)oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo(hack, cough, cough, weeze)oop!

And now, back to the programing already in progress...

THATS RIGHT! You, Lava Goddesss, YOU will be a part of my nefarious plot to populate the world with my EVIL KEVIN CLONES!

From your womb I will create an UNSTOPABLE ARMY!

Ahahahahaha! No one will stand in our way! Not NOW not EVER!

Your destiny will be a GREAT one Lava! For once we have crushed the free world under our heels, you, my dear, you will be my EVIL KEVIN QUEEN!

MUAHAHAHAH!!!

Val: You're a monster! *Ptu!*

 

[~melia~]

LMAO!!!

 

[doctor_insanus]

Great Scott! It's even more insidious than I thought!

You'll never get away with it! Not while I'm here to stop you!

*Begins staggering through the thread, desperately searching for the entrance to the KILLER ASS GRABIN BABOON's lair*

Now, where in the hell...

I mean... I'm coming for you, you sumbitch!