Highly Spirited (Closed for Alexavious and Ravenloft)

[Ravenloft]

"Its strange, I never really talk about my early childhood with anyone, not even Zoe knows about that incident when i was five, or the subsequent five years of being a bloody walking zombie on whatever those meds I was given were. Mostly because I can't really remember any of it... It's not even a blur, its just a blank chasm in my life, like I was locked away in darkness, or oblivion." I smiled when Lara thanked me for sharing it with her. "I should thank you, for listening. I mean, if anyone can believe me, it's you, right?" I read her words even as she typed them. "It was surprisingly easy, I feel like an open book to you Lara, there is nothing I would ever dream of hiding from you. You feel it too? This longing? Its crazy, I know, but I feel like I was meant to come here, to find you, I don't know what to make of this, or how to go about it, all I know is that I feel whole now that I know you." My hunger satisfied, I grew curious to know more about Lara. "Maybe you can do that thing you did last night, entering my dreams, or maybe you could even possess Zoe in her sleep, when her guard is down?" I shocked myself, saying that out loud, but I couldn't take it back now.

"Until then, I want to get to know all about you, the good, the bad, the ugly. Lay it on me Lara. If I'm going to go about getting you justice, and figuring out the best way to reach out to your mother... I should hear everything there is to know about you first, right?"

 

[Alexavious]

"I have to admit I did consider that. It seems to me that I would have control if Zoe was unconscious." The idea was unsettling, the control of a person without their permission. But I would never put her in danger or want to hurt her in any way. The idea of being a real flesh-and-blood person again was like a wild dream that couldn't be true. After I was sure Ethan had seen the words, I deleted them off the screen.

I had to take a deep breath. This was it, it was time, he had to know.

"There's much of my life that I'd love to tell you about but we should start with the obvious. You're not going to like this story and I'm sorry you have to listen to it. PLEASE do not do anything rash."

It was a warning I felt I had to give, I really didn't want Ethan to get hurt and as he was about to learn, these were dangerous people.

"Kai Edwards was my Manager and music producer. He found me at the Miss Musical contest and I..." I paused, not knowing really the best way to describe the relationship. However, honesty won out, best to lay all the information on the table... "I fell in love with him very quickly. He was kind, and generous, handsome and mysterious. Everything a young girl would find sexy and exciting. He helped me write music, record singles, even plan for an album. He paid me a wage so that I could focus all my attention on my music. He even gave regular payments to my Mum so that I didn't worry about her. He was older, experienced and I was too naive to see through the mask. He was also married but he told me such sweet things, I believed him when he said that he loved me too and that his marriage was only a financial convenience. I even met his Wife Sandra and she said the same thing. It was, looking back, a strange situation but it felt normal at the time."

Talking about the two of them, Kai and Sandra, it was hard. The words flowed out of my fingers and onto the screen as tears poured down my cheeks. Flashes of their faces, twisted, sneering and evil, danced across my vision.

"The relationship was a secret to everyone else. Even my Mum. I had never hid anything from my Mum before and I feel so..." I couldn't finish the sentence as large wet tears plopped onto the worktop. I hit return, it didn't need to be said.

"I would practice or play on the street during the day, collecting for charity since I didn't need the money. Then in the evenings I would visit Kai's recording studio and he would help me record or write songs for the album. He would take me to dinner and then it would be back to his house where he and I would..." There was a long pause before I finished the sentence with... "be together."

I didn't want to labour this point, its not exactly fun to have to tell the man you're interested in about your sex life with your ex but it was relevant.

"It was this house. He lived here with Sandra, while his recording studio was closer to the city. I don't remember him moving, the first thing I remember after I died is the house being empty. We'd been together for around 6 months when things went drastically wrong. We had finished like 90% of the album, one song left to record when we came back here to celebrate. We had just... finished celebrating (sorry) and while he was getting cleaned up, I had a little nose around the bedroom. I discovered a hidden camera pointing at the bed."

Anger replaced the tears as I reminded myself of the pain and betrayal I had felt. "I let him talk me down. I almost believed him when he said it was nothing, that it was for security and wasn't recording us in our intimate moments. The next day we were there again and... when he was cleaning up again I broke into his computer. I found his recordings and conversations showing he'd been sharing them with his Wife. I found emails about how they enjoyed watching me and worse, how they were preparing me to surrogate their child. Kai didn't love me, he didn't care about me. The pair of them were lying to me the whole time, using my body for their sick pleasure and as a substitute for their failure."

I had to take a breath, the emotion was raw and most of the words contained spelling errors that I took the time to correct. Gritting my teeth and wiping my face, I continued, not even looking at Ethan, shutting my ears off to his reactions.

"I copied the emails and left. I planned to confront him the next evening. I just needed copies of my songs so I made my way to the recording studio as normal. He was waiting for me, he knew my route and he took me when I was out of view, drove me back here where his wife was waiting..."

There was no stopping now, the emotion drained away till I was numb as I related my reoccurring nightmares, the final moments of my life.

"They belittled me, told me I was worthless, that I was nothing. They took me down into the basement, Sandra put her hands on my throat, I can see her face. She hated me, hated that I could bare children and she couldn't Kai stood watching, smug, self-satisfied as if he were dealing with a minor nuisance. I think he was the one with the knife. Thankfully I didn't feel it, more like, it felt hot like a burn. Then everything was cold and black..."

That was it, the numbness died and I sobbed hard as I turned to Ethan, waiting for him to finish reading...

 

[Ravenloft]

I wanted desperately to find some way to justify Lara's use of Zoe's body... She had opened herself up to it, hadn't she? She was struggling, I knew, but to use her own blood to draw Lara's soul into her body? Weather she knew what had happened or not, she had made the conscious choice to open that door... But... That wasn't consent or permission to allow another person to use her body, was it? If it happened, I would have to respect Zoe, I would only go just so far with Lara, but where was the line that we should not cross? I had no idea.

Lara deleted her message about Zoe and replaced it with a warning not to do anything rash and that I wasn't going to like what she had to share. That sent a chill through me and it was like the only thing in the world that mattered was her and her words. I nodded, mutely, fearing what she had to tell me, knowing how hard it must be for her to share.

As Lara's story unfolded before my eyes, I felt the pit of my stomach tightening up. "Kai..." I had an irrational distaste for the man from the moment I read his name. Was that my own feelings? Or something coming from Lara? Or just my blind assumption that he had done her in from the start?

It didn't make me feel any better to discover that Lara's situation with him was uncomfortably similar to how things were going between her and I. I knew in my heart that I loved her, but how was I any better for her, being married to Zoe, than this guy? I was swimming in an ocean of feelings as I read, happy for her that she got her big break, that she was happy and taken care of, that her mother was cared for as well. Thrilled that she was such a genuinely good soul, not a shade of greed to her, performing on the street and giving it all to charity. My heart welled up with pride in her over that.

I wondered who's idea it was to keep their relationship so secret... But this was not the time to pry... I suspected it was to suit him more than her... If anyone outside his little circle knew, that would have just given her a chance to, I don't know, listen to someone with an objective opinion on the matter? Someone to notice all the red flags that must surely have gone unnoticed by her pure and innocent heart.

Lara was clearly uncomfortable relaying to me that she and Kai were lovers, and in a strange way, that just made her seem even sweeter and more endearing to me. Her 'sorry' made me smile, even as her tale took the dark turn I had tried to prepare myself to hear. "He recorded it?!" I gasped, in disgust. "That's truly fucked up!" I growled through my teeth as she explained what she found on his computer. "All of that... Just to treat you like some sort of breeding mare? How twisted are these people?" My stomach was in knots, my hands were balled up in white knuckled fists and tears were stinging my eyes as I struggled to read on.

There was a glimmer of hope as she typed on, saying she was going to confront him, that she just needed to secure copies of her hard work, but that was to be her undoing, if only she had just drove back to her mom... Things might have turned out different. I couldn't fault her though, in fact, I admired her resolve, her drive for some sort of closure. Which made what followed hit so much harder than I could have ever been prepared for. I was silent for a moment as it all sunk in. The only thing I could think to say was... "They put you through hell... And yet, you're like an angel to me... Oh Lara..." I tore my eyes away from the screen and searched for her, for that feeling of her presence. "Come here, darlin." I opened my arms wide, inviting her into them, the intensity of our emotions overwhelming all sense of reason.

 

[Alexavious]

Watching Ethan's reaction to her letter was perhaps harder than writing it. Sometimes he appeared quite poker faced but other times the emotion shone through and it was always so conflicting. Anger, sadness, surprise, rage. A reflection of my own internal swamp of feelings. Seeing those sentiments in another brought back those feelings fresh and she began to gently shake.

As Ethan gestured, opening his arms, I didn't hesitate. We connected firmly as I buried my face into his shoulder, sobbing hard. I could feel his arms enclose around me as I held onto him tightly. It didn't even register what was happening, but in that moment I had never needed him more. My tears wet his shirt, his body warm against mine as I released wave after wave of pent up grief. It all poured out as I was able to finally lean on someone and accept the pain of my own demise.

We stood like that for what seemed like hours but perhaps it was just minutes and as the crying subsided, so too did our hold on one another. I stilled, not wanting to let go, not wanting to be released from Ethan but ultimately I knew that the feeling of closeness would have returned to the cold prickles. Not wanting to hurt him, I stepped back with a sigh, feeling more drained than ever before.

I moved to the laptop, pulling up a new page.

"Thank you. For everything."

 

[Ravenloft]

I felt her, I actually felt Lara's desperate embrace, she was filled with such sadness that I wanted, no, needed to console her with all tenderness. The intensity of emotion making this moment possible, I realized and when I did, I also recognized just how much I needed her. It felt pure, and perfect, holding her in my arms, comforting her through her pain, it was what I was meant for, I felt her grief as if it were my own, and somehow, let it pass through me and out into the ether. I just held her and whispered kind, gentle, loving words into her ear as I turned my lips toward her, as she sobbed into my shoulder. I could smell her hair, feel her body trembling in my arms with each wracking sob, and I was almost overwhelmed with my need to comfort her.

Slowly, her pain and sorrow, the intensity of those emotions began to wash away and she began to feel lighter in my arms, her sobbing stilled, she clung to me for a moment longer, both of us knowing our touch would soon return to that tingling chill we had shared before. Not wanting to mar the closeness we had just shared, I let her go and swallowed back the lump that was rising in my throat, nodding my understanding. Trying to hide the tears in my eyes, I read her new message. "Oh Lara, you don't know how much that meant to me, to be needed like that? I... I should be thanking you... Holding you, loving you."

 

[Alexavious]

I couldn't help but laugh, grinning from ear to ear at his earnest response. I let it lie though, no point in arguing who should be thanking who. Clearly we both needed each other and had never quite realised and now we had miraculously found each other and it was as if something had just clicked. The universe chimed with fate ticking something off the list. Maybe that was why we hadn't met before my untimely demise? We wouldn't have needed each other at that point, and would have gone our separate ways never knowing the feelings now boiling inside.

I began to outpour the rest of my life onto the page. Like how initially I wasn't that interested in any kind of music at all, not listening, singing or dancing. Until I found my voice at the age of fifteen, after sneaking into a bar and drunkenly doing Karaoke with a bunch of college girls.

Then I would sing all the time, constantly listening to rock and metal bands, fantasising becoming a rock star much to Mum's frustration. Though of course she supported me throughout. I stuck to high school, refused to go to college and got hired as a Librarian's assistance of all things while I worked on my own "sound". Finally I entered Seattle's Miss Musical competition and was found by Kai.

I filled the page with as much as I could think of:
My passing interest in competitive swimming that I gave up as soon as I became a sulky teenager but would still secretly follow the professional athletes.
My desire to own both a cat and a dog despite my Mum's allergies and the one time I tried to sneak a cat into the house I nearly sent her into anaphylactic shock.
I even mentioned my collection of limited edition 'Whoozer' soft bears that I swore would be worth money one day.

I almost teared up again when I talked about Froggy and Jack, two of my mates from Highschool who were on the road to getting married basically as soon as they met. Such a sweet pair and would always get me into trouble!

Finally, I finished with... "Uh... anything else you wanted to know?"