How’s your married sex life?

[Ingenue844]

https://imgur.com/FCKnDlt

When I was in school I took some class, the name escapes me now, but one thing that stuck with me even now is how marital happiness tends to be an inverted bell curve.

When you start out in the honeymoon phase you’re at your happiest. It starts dipping after with a few jumps back up each time a kid is born or other significantly happy event occurs.

But when you have young kids at home most are in the bowels of marital happiness.

Happiness tends to increase again as kids get more self reliant. Women hit their sexual peak. And gets to its highest at Empty Nest+Retirement.

So I’m trying to hold on for the upswing.

Please don’t nOt aLL me. It’s just an idea I’m presenting.

 

[Wishingbox]

https://imgur.com/FCKnDlt

When I was in school I took some class, the name escapes me now, but one thing that stuck with me even now is how marital happiness tends to be an inverted bell curve.

When you start out in the honeymoon phase you’re at your happiest. It starts dipping after with a few jumps back up each time a kid is born or other significantly happy event occurs.

But when you have young kids at home most are in the bowels of marital happiness.

Happiness tends to increase again as kids get more self reliant. Women hit their sexual peak. And gets to its highest at Empty Nest+Retirement.

So I’m trying to hold on for the upswing.

Please don’t nOt aLL me. It’s just an idea I’m presenting.

I think that’s a pretty valid concept. I was listening to a podcast today about infidelity and affairs. The host was discussing the difference in how couples respond to the adversity. The ones who approach the difficult time with curiosity and a desire to grow through the experience and seek to learn something tend to survive far better than those who to simply never do it again, talk about it etc.

I imagine something similar happens with kids, work etc. If we suppress the hardships instead of looking to grow together it’s likely you’ll grow apart. I imagine that upswing toward the end is exciting.

 

[Wld1936]

it sucks No sex!

 

[OrdinaryPerson]

And that’s the other thing that has been bothering me…being rushed.

I’m all for frantic sex when we’re both turned on and it happens organically. But I hate having to rush because we hear the two little beasts moving about.

We’re going to start taking romantic weekends away by dumping the kids at a friends. We need a chance to take things slow and reconnect.

We have recently started doing sleepovers at grandparents houses for kids. But things still end up feeling rushed. Cause theres always a bazillion things we want to do while the kids are gone. Maybe actually going somewhere will be good, at least we won't be thinking about deep cleaning the house while the kids arent in the way... now that i think about it, we havent stayed overnight out of the house without the kids since the 4 year old was born.

 

[OrdinaryPerson]

I think that’s a pretty valid concept. I was listening to a podcast today about infidelity and affairs. The host was discussing the difference in how couples respond to the adversity. The ones who approach the difficult time with curiosity and a desire to grow through the experience and seek to learn something tend to survive far better than those who to simply never do it again, talk about it etc.

I imagine something similar happens with kids, work etc. If we suppress the hardships instead of looking to grow together it’s likely you’ll grow apart. I imagine that upswing toward the end is exciting.

Couples talking about hardships and problems in the relationship before they cheat or couples that talk about past infidelity to be able to get over it?

 

[PMarky2]

it sucks No sex!

No suck half the time either - she's never been keen on blowjobs.

[I'll let myself out...]

 

[Wishingbox]

Couples talking about hardships and problems in the relationship before they cheat or couples that talk about past infidelity to be able to get over it?

People who are in counseling after an affair. But I imagine before an affair can also have a similar effect. Really if both partners approach a challenges from a place of trying to grow and understand any adversity could be used as an opportunity to support one another. Maybe that’s one of the markers of long lasting marriage?

 

[Ingenue844]

I was listening to a podcast today about infidelity and affairs. The host was discussing the difference in how couples respond to the adversity. The ones who approach the difficult time with curiosity and a desire to grow through the experience and seek to learn something tend to survive far better than those who to simply never do it again, talk about it etc.

I get it. And I need to understand wtf was happening that caused events to unfold. Not just in cheating but in any adversity.

Things that get swept under the rug will burst back out eventually. Doing the excruciating work of finding motivations, environments that led to an event, etc is the only way to find a path forward.

I need data. The space to analyze. And willingness to try a new course of action. I imagine others need the same but call it something else.

 

[Ingenue844]

We have recently started doing sleepovers at grandparents houses for kids. But things still end up feeling rushed. Cause theres always a bazillion things we want to do while the kids are gone. Maybe actually going somewhere will be good, at least we won't be thinking about deep cleaning the house while the kids arent in the way... now that i think about it, we havent stayed overnight out of the house without the kids since the 4 year old was born.

We’re not even going on a fancy vacation. We’re driving a couple hours away where there are 2 state parks and a minor league hockey team

If things get really good we won’t even bother hitting both parks. But yeah, I realized we have to escape our environment otherwise we’d be too distracted to focus on each other. It’s not just the kids, it’s real life that smacks us in the face when we’re home.

 

[Mo_Bandy]

Dude Im on Lit and have 3 side pieces if that answers your question.

 

[OrdinaryPerson]

Dude Im on Lit and have 3 side pieces if that answers your question.

How do you even have time

 

[Mo_Bandy]

How do you even have time

You gotta make time for them hoes big dog.

 

[OrdinaryPerson]

You gotta make time for them hoes big dog.

If only all men had this attitude.

 

[Mo_Bandy]

If only all men had this attitude.

I am one of a kind shit you know.

 

[PMarky2]

Glitch in the matrix today - the Missus was feeling reasonably well and horny at the same time, so we actually fucked for the first time since August. Not great from my angle, but something is better than nothing.

 

[sandybrooke]

nonexistent, that's why I'm on here with the rest of you.

 

[Filipinawife]

Wonderful when he’s not away

 

[CuriousInAR78]

Not even married yet and it feels like I am already married. I've masterbated more this year than I have actually had sex

 

[CaffeinatedHub45]

Glitch in the matrix today - the Missus was feeling reasonably well and horny at the same time, so we actually fucked for the first time since August. Not great from my angle, but something is better than nothing.

Let's hope there are many more glitches!

 

[JustMyFun85]

Me 46, him 51
in the last 4 months we had 1 quickie

I can top that.
Me 55 Her 50
Last time we had sex was 5 years ago

 

[shrek100]

Actually good.
Married for 17 yrs now and spill exploring and enjoying.

 

[LizVegas79]

Me 43
Him 47
Married 14 yrs
Not as frequent as I would like but still 3-5x/week
(lately closer to 3, and sometimes only once or twice/wk depending on kid drama, work drama, life drama )

I generally work nights. He generally works days and some nights so our conflicting schedules make either morning sex when I'm tired and he's not, or middle of the night sex when he's tired and I'm not, pretty much our only opportunities. Except for the occasional quickie at work when we're both on the same shift. Those are always fun! Fortunately he's cool with my occasional hookups with my bi-gf some weekday afternoons which helps.

 

[LibertineDaddy]

I need a bi gf to have weekday play time with. That is awesome.

I'd love my wife to find one too! Keep the fire burning 24/7

 

[Skwrtluvr]

Not even married yet and it feels like I am already married. I've masterbated more this year than I have actually had sex

That a red flag pay attention to it

 

[Tayloroc]

Twice a year. Of course, it’s been 40+