How did you get started?

[HotXBuns]

I've always known.

Long before these sorts of forums existed, I had dominating thoughts that I can still remember. After that I went to a school that still used corporal punishment and even though I was only ever on the receiving end, I still knew that I wanted to be the one dishing it out.

As soon as I was able I put my desires into practice with early girlfriends, some consented with a mixture of willingness or fortitude, others disappeared quickly. Eventually I married and I was the dominant, but over the years that has changed to accommodate a change in consent that forced a level of flexibility that I'd previously not imagined. Underneath I am still that person that I always was, but we have to adapt to suit our situation.

So, to answer the original question, RL long before on-line happened, but still learning and discovering.

 

[warriorprincess9]

He was much older and knew what i needed.

 

[MatureChattyMan]

Through mutual recognition of need, desire, willingness and authority.

 

[Catshadow]

For me it's a long confused and frequently sad story. I'm still trying to figure out the whys of it all.
I will say the power exchange has been a part of my sex life forever. Then again I was introduced to sex as a very young child. Yes it was abuse and no I'm not saying there's a causal effect here. That's part of what I haven't worked out yet and my therapist says it doesn't really matter or shouldn't.
Having gone there you can understand why I then moved through several abusive relationships. In college I discovered literotica, and the author Dekota Trace. It was her story Ninsey' awakening...that really explained to me what I was surching for.
However thing went wrong with my then boyfriend when I talked to him about it.
Fast forward several years I meet my now husband we talk about my past but not BDSM. He's naturally sexually dominate. For quite some time that was enough fir me. Then well i won't go into details but thing got really bad for us and to add insult to injury my husband and I had started drifting apart as well emotionally and sexually.
We weren't communicating well at all and at this point we hadn't had sex in almost a year. We were at least heading for divorce.
Finally I hit the bottom and went suicidal, my husband found me with a knife. He literally slapped me causing me to drop the knife. After a long bout of sobbing and a spanking. It was decided that should i feel a need for punishment I would go to him for it.
We now really talk and have a healthy sex life considering he has ED. we are both much happier and our marriage has never been stronger. I said in my introduction that it had only been about a year, it's actually closer to three years now. It's been a year since my knee surgery.

So BDSM quite literally saved my marriage and my life. In the past couple of years my mental health has significantly improved. My PTSD from the earlier abuse is gone.