How did you get started?

[cookiecat]

Oh, and my first boyfriend is my only partner, now husband. I have no clue how I would have handled looking for a new partner if we hadn't lasted. Eventually I knew I couldn't be with someone who wasn't into the stuff I'm into, but I'm not sure when that knowledge materialized in my head.

Oh I didn't realize your boyfriend = husband!

What a great way to grow in to all this.

 

[cookiecat]

Lost virginity to a older guy when I was 19. He was 43, tall and had good strength. He started with nipples biting and pulling. Biting my clits. And hard fucking, made me squirt. I became his slave from that time. Now he is my husband. We are gonna enjoy forever.

Good strength is important. It sounds like you have a great relationship.

 

[cookiecat]

I got a hard-on as minor when I watched Silvana Gallardo being raped in


Too much information?

No. Probably sums it up.

FYI for anyone else who might click the link: I clicked it and got some weird virusy message.

 

[La damnee elle la licorne]

 

[Primalex]

FYI for anyone else who might click the link: I clicked it and got some weird virusy message.

Hm.

Likely just an advertisement. Anyway, I've found a Youtube version without "inappropriate content" tag and updated the link.

 

[SalvDali]

Maybe just reading with you at first.

Initially I liked to use the picture threads to help advise G as to how I would feel aroused. I described it like a menu...
' this, with a side of this, this and this, may this to finish if still hungry? '

Hmm the menu thing is intriguing. We have kinda made a game of at this point. There is a game called "Secret Seven", Frankly it is pretty vanilla but 20 minutes with a sharpie and now its a whole new game !!!

 

[LucyBee01]

I heard the hype about the 50 shades book and was curious...but was too embarrassed to buy a copy and my partner at the time discouraged me.

Then I stopped some medication I had taken for years and my sex drive went through the roof! I needed an outlet and turned to erotica on this lovely website. Started off with stories of bosses and employees, teachers and students...and progressed further into the bdsm category... and couldn't stop myself, I was like a starving animal that had just found food.

I briefly tried an online only D/s relationship- it was lovely but I realised I wanted, no, really needed, this in real life. Had a very difficult transition period, but I feel so so lucky to have found Master so quickly.

 

[cookiecat]

Hm.

Likely just an advertisement. Anyway, I've found a Youtube version without "inappropriate content" tag and updated the link.

(You might want to edit your quote of my text to remove the link.)

Geez louise. This is the kind of stuff I can't stop watching but get queasy that I've watched. Like the Human Centipede or Tusk. WTF?

A million shades of awful.

 

[cookiecat]

I worked in a dungeon, as a Domme. It wasfun, and made me think about it. I realized Id dreamed of being a mans property, his slave, for years. So here I am.

Did you have bdsm experience prior to being hired as a Domme? How did you flip the switch from being in a dominant role (even though it was for hire) to thinking aboug slavery / property?

 

[cookiecat]

To the first, I didn't know I wanted it as a big part till I found a truly submissive woman. There was something intoxicating about her discription how a hand in her hair behind her head made her melt. The way she leaned in to my hand and sighed as she spoke. The way she was and is so eager to please me sexually. The drive and enthusiasm she puts in to it.

To the second question I learned bondage dominance slave and master originally. That turned me off to it. Over the years as I learned more I've grown to understand some of the psychological aspects of it, and it appeals a great deal to me. My 2 relationships are different. One is with a sub that feeling of someone giving is what lead me to really start digging in to it. My other os with a woman who is usually dominant, but our first time together I took the lead, she's often let me have my way, and is eager to please me. There are times I give up control to her, and it's an amazing feeling to let her be in charge because she is skilled at being dominant.

I gravitated to it as a way to keep things fresh in the bedroom in the last year. Now, it's more about a type of bedroom behavior. Neither relationship is exclusively bdsm, but there are parts on both. And as I wrote above, they've lead me to explore it on another level.

It's interesting that bdsm turned you off at first. Why was that? (Wondering if you read through MindFondler's sensual control thread?) So your preference is more mental/emotional D/s?

When you say you gravitated as a way to keep things "fresh in the bedroom" -- can I ask who that was with? The sub or the switchy dominant?

Thanks.

 

[yellowrocket]

It's interesting that bdsm turned you off at first. Why was that? (Wondering if you read through MindFondler's sensual control thread?) So your preference is more mental/emotional D/s?

When you say you gravitated as a way to keep things "fresh in the bedroom" -- can I ask who that was with? The sub or the switchy dominant?

Thanks.

Partly because I've discovered I'm a switch. The who dynamic of complete control wasn't appealing. Didn't get why exactly when I found it 18 years ago. Also it was the beating and the degredation type of stuff I saw forst. Didn't read about more until years later.

As to who it was to keep it fresh with, it was my now exgf of at the time 4 years. She was able to get hers and a lot of the time it's all she wanted. She wasn't interested in giving oral for any length of time, much less til I came. And sex when I was exhausted from switching from 3rd on work days to 1st when I was off killed my endurance.

So I wad looking for other ways to enjoy sexy time, especially because the bed squeaked too much for a good fucking.

 

[Jay321]

I found the lifestyle because my ex-wife and I were swingers. I went to a club with a "friend" and after way too many drinks, I let myself get strapped to the cross. best way to describe it? holymotherfuckingshitthatwasawesome. I was told I was there for over an hour. I still think they lied to me. felt like 3 minutes.

I went through calling myself sub, to calling myself a bottom, then switch, now Dom. It was a long and interesting adventure. It is something that I have to have at least a bit of in my life.

There are funny stories in my past, there are damn near nightmare stories there as well. I did some things that being male, I probably got away with, but a female would have likely been seriously in a bad way had she done it.

Holy shit... memories flooding back now too. I'm going to sit over here and be nostalgic for a while now.

 

[SalvDali]

So the wife probably wont be joing the forums. She is content reading with and talking to me. Interesting evening btw. Learned a bit more about our dynamic and i have more things to digest and consider. I have a couple more questions i will post in the morning when my brain is functioning better

 

[cookiecat]

I found the lifestyle because my ex-wife and I were swingers. I went to a club with a "friend" and after way too many drinks, I let myself get strapped to the cross. best way to describe it? holymotherfuckingshitthatwasawesome. I was told I was there for over an hour. I still think they lied to me. felt like 3 minutes.

I went through calling myself sub, to calling myself a bottom, then switch, now Dom. It was a long and interesting adventure. It is something that I have to have at least a bit of in my life.

There are funny stories in my past, there are damn near nightmare stories there as well. I did some things that being male, I probably got away with, but a female would have likely been seriously in a bad way had she done it.

Holy shit... memories flooding back now too. I'm going to sit over here and be nostalgic for a while now.

You're the second person who mentioned happy memories due to this thread. Yay!

Sounds like you've had an interesting path to where you are today. You mention the nightmare stories and it occurs to me there's a thread in there somewhere... what we can learn from past mistakes / adventures.

So the wife probably wont be joing the forums. She is content reading with and talking to me. Interesting evening btw. Learned a bit more about our dynamic and i have more things to digest and consider. I have a couple more questions i will post in the morning when my brain is functioning better

Am glad you're here, hope what you're reading, posting, thinking about here translates to good conversations with Mrs. Dali.

 

[Farawyn]

How did I get started? I haven't started.

My interest started in my late teens with an older BF. I always felt like some sort of freak for wanting more and rough and to be controlled and a little pain. And wanting to suck cock.
I was a good girl, and good girls did not ask for things like that.
This guy showed me it was okay.

Then a lull. Some spanking, some restraining, but when I was with someone, he just let me take over, no matter how dominant he was in every other way...

It's not comfortable to me. It's more uncomfortable as time goes by. I have a lot of theories why, but that's not the question.

A friend that I've known for over a decade online, mostly platonically until the last few years, helped me voice and channel my feelings. That's helped me clarify a bit, which is why I ended up here.

So, see my first sentence.

I'll come back and post again when I start.

 

[La damnee elle la licorne]

 

[cookiecat]

How did I get started? I haven't started.

My interest started in my late teens with an older BF. I always felt like some sort of freak for wanting more and rough and to be controlled and a little pain. And wanting to suck cock.
I was a good girl, and good girls did not ask for things like that.
This guy showed me it was okay.

Then a lull. Some spanking, some restraining, but when I was with someone, he just let me take over, no matter how dominant he was in every other way...

It's not comfortable to me. It's more uncomfortable as time goes by. I have a lot of theories why, but that's not the question.

A friend that I've known for over a decade online, mostly platonically until the last few years, helped me voice and channel my feelings. That's helped me clarify a bit, which is why I ended up here.

So, see my first sentence.

I'll come back and post again when I start.

It's good to have self reflection. Figure out how you got here. Make sure you don't repeat past mistakes. At some point, for me, I decided the why didn't matter. I got here, I knew what felt right and that's what mattered.

 

[Wild_Honey_66]

On relational kink: I have a strong natural submissive bent, reinforced over the years by an authoritarian father and a conservative religious background. I'd been familiar with the basic principles of D/s for over two decades before I'd ever heard of BDSM, although the application is certainly somewhat different within a kinky context.

On the sexy stuff: I'm a sensual, high-drive, creative, adventurous woman who only ever needed an opportunity and a willing partner. i started to do a bit of exploring towards the end of my (mostly sexless) marriage, and have been fortunate to have had a couple of fwbs since then who were enthusiastic, if not particularly kinky.

Vanilla sex and relationships have never been enough for me; I've always wanted more. More depth, more intensity, more fuck. Finding Lit and discovering BDSM was like hitting the mother lode. I am not going back.

 

[yellowrocket]

It's amazing how different all of our stories are. From the various draws to the methods of discovering what it was we liked. But I guess that fits on with the depth and breadth of the community.

 

[La damnee elle la licorne]

 

[yellowrocket]

I don't disagree. I think it's nice to have learned more from so many different sources. It's been very beneficial and let me I'd her as a sub, and she'd never looked in to it at all. Now we're looking at attending a play party already.

 

[Wild_Honey_66]

I just wish it were wider still!

So far as I know we have no ponies here, for example ( and no, I'm not suggesting people reveal anything they don't want to). A few people I am not sure if/ how they ID, and that's cool too.

What is a pony?

 

[La damnee elle la licorne]

 

[Wild_Honey_66]

Hmm, I maybe didn't express it well, people who like to play as pony girls or boys. My guess was gender neutral term was 'pony'.. Being driven in harness. .

Oh, of course! I was over-thinking it and assumed it was a metaphor, like 'unicorn.'

 

[La damnee elle la licorne]