How popular is femdom?

[Justabaldguy70]

I’ve never written a FemDom story So can’t really speak to the feedback but I can tell you there are a LOT of guys who like the idea of being dominated by a woman.

Women I hear less from but I don’t know whether that’s because they’re less interested in submitting to a woman or because this is the Internet

Submitting and being dominated is a fantasy like CFNM and I would t mind it at all. But does Femdom go into beating and physical pain, ball busting, hard spanking to bruise? Then that is not for me

 

[LadyClaire]

Like all kinks it comes down the preferences of the participants.

I don’t like hurting my subs, it does nothing for me. I give them evil and ingenious punishments I know the won’t enjoy!

 

[PaxNurgle]

Like all kinks it comes down the preferences of the participants.

I don’t like hurting my subs, it does nothing for me. I give them evil and ingenious punishments I know the won’t enjoy!

Basically this; it depends on the preference of the participants and the limits of the subs. I find that a little corporal is fun, but there is a delicate balance between extreme pain/ballbusting and mild spanking/whipping- my threshold of pain is lower than some and other people just arent into corporal punishment or pain at all in any amount.

 

[Goldenfinger]

Like all kinks it comes down the preferences of the participants.

I don’t like hurting my subs, it does nothing for me. I give them evil and ingenious punishments I know the won’t enjoy!

There are many different levels of femdom. Some controlling some punishment and role reversal. Some are all.

 

[Squeeze_Tight]

Let's talk.

Shall we?

 

[lady_jennaxx]

Deserves more popularity and respect

 

[roughlet]

Divinity in Deviance - Dai Bach is where I write about this stuff.

 

[Goldenfinger]

Deserves more popularity and respect

I think it’s more prevalent than we think. They might not call it femdom or have the sexual aspect we see here but I think a lot of women are the dominant of the house hold.

 

[PaxNurgle]

Or, in other words, they are "Dominant but Vanilla." Dominant, in that they are clearly have by far the most say in what we would think of as a female led relationship, but they may not be into any kink or fetish play at all; in fact they may even be turned off by the idea. So they are strictly vanilla when it comes to sex, but yet controlling and dominant in the dynamics of a domestic relationship. I've known a few women like this over the years. It works, but to be honest, it isn't always that "Fun."

 

[Goldenfinger]

Or, in other words, they are "Dominant but Vanilla." Dominant, in that they are clearly have by far the most say in what we would think of as a female led relationship, but they may not be into any kink or fetish play at all; in fact they may even be turned off by the idea. So they are strictly vanilla when it comes to sex, but yet controlling and dominant in the dynamics of a domestic relationship. I've known a few women like this over the years. It works, but to be honest, it isn't always that "Fun."

I agree, but it can be a start. How things change 25-30 years ago she was called bitchy now she called dominate.

I’m always curious on who’s leading who. If I find a woman who has dominate tendencies (bossy, controlling) then slowly introduce her to erotic femdom that I like and slowly turn her to what I’m interested in, who’s leading who? Leading from the bottom isn’t being dominated. I think there’s a lot of that here.

 

[Mebella99]

If you write it, they will come...lol

I recently wrote a story that has femdom themes and joined this website because I didn’t know what else to do with the story than post it online, however it hasn’t got much traction.
Is femdom popular or unpopular here?
I’m considering how that would effect potential future works.

Like others have said, I think it’s popular, just not main stream. There are also topics adjacent to fem dom (dominant woman, gentle fem dom, fin dom, FLR’s) that get discussed in threads. I do agree these types of women seem to have a tendency to lurk. I think it’s gotten more popular, and tends to skew with a younger audience these days.

Write your stories, there is an audience.

 

[Justabaldguy70]

Like others have said, I think it’s popular, just not main stream. There are also topics adjacent to fem dom (dominant woman, gentle fem dom, fin dom, FLR’s) that get discussed in threads. I do agree these types of women seem to have a tendency to lurk. I think it’s gotten more popular, and tends to skew with a younger audience these days.

Write your stories, there is an audience.

What the hell is fin dom?

 

[Mebella99]

What the hell is fin dom?

Financial domination...it’s probably looked on least favorably, and judged most harshly. But...it’s a thing.

 

[PaxNurgle]

Financial domination...it’s probably looked on least favorably, and judged most harshly. But...it’s a thing.

A lot of people simply call it "Gold Digging."

In fetish/BDSM personal sites, you would see a lot of women, particularly in the 18-22 year old range who list "Financial Domination" as their main and, perhaps not surprisingly, their only kink. (sl)easy money- whatever works.

If a man is specifically looking for a woman to spoil and spend all his money on, and that's his "thing" to be taken advantage of financially, then I can't really judge it, nor can I really judge women too harshly who are at least open and honest about the fact that all they want from a femdom relationship is a "Sugar daddy." It's when she is not upfront from the beginning about the fact that she is looking for that from her sub, that it becomes non-consensual and problematic.

 

[ChristopherDB]

Most of my stories are femdom. While it may not be mainstream, the genre has a loyal following. Those who will like it will find your stories eventually, and if they are good you will probably develop a following.

When you first publish a story, I would put femdom as one of the tags so it can be easily found. Low ratings and hate mail (from those who just don't get it) when a story is first published and featured under New Stories are common.

 

[Mebella99]

A lot of people simply call it "Gold Digging."
In fetish/BDSM personal sites, you would see a lot of women, particularly in the 18-22 year old range who list "Financial Domination" as their main and, perhaps not surprisingly, their only kink. (sl)easy money- whatever works.
If a man is specifically looking for a woman to spoil and spend all his money on, and that's his "thing" to be taken advantage of financially, then I can't really judge it, nor can I really judge women too harshly who are at least open and honest about the fact that all they want from a femdom relationship is a "Sugar daddy." It's when she is not upfront from the beginning about the fact that she is looking for that from her sub, that it becomes non-consensual and problematic.

Hi Pax, I agree with your assessment that upfront is best And not being upfront is problematic. It’s unfortunate that the very real horror stories over shadow any potential good ones.
I’d also venture that honesty is part of what separates a person trying to be an (authentic) domme vs a fake - I’m not truism-ing here either. It is my perception is that most dommes (professional or lifestyle) strive to practice ethically.

Most of my stories are femdom. While it may not be mainstream, the genre has a loyal following. Those who will like it will find your stories eventually, and if they are good you will probably develop a following.
When you first publish a story, I would put femdom as one of the tags so it can be easily found. Low ratings and hate mail (from those who just don't get it) when a story is first published and featured under New Stories are common.

Holy Cow Christopher...I used the fem dom tag and found 44 pages worth of stories. Awesome. Idk why I never thought of it. Duh. Anyhow thank you.

 

[supercollider00]

A lot of people simply call it "Gold Digging."

In fetish/BDSM personal sites, you would see a lot of women, particularly in the 18-22 year old range who list "Financial Domination" as their main and, perhaps not surprisingly, their only kink. (sl)easy money- whatever works.

If a man is specifically looking for a woman to spoil and spend all his money on, and that's his "thing" to be taken advantage of financially, then I can't really judge it, nor can I really judge women too harshly who are at least open and honest about the fact that all they want from a femdom relationship is a "Sugar daddy." It's when she is not upfront from the beginning about the fact that she is looking for that from her sub, that it becomes non-consensual and problematic.

I do think this is entrenched also in the idea of men wanting to be dominated = weakness. Therefore findommes are seen quite harshly but also the idea that men wanting to be dominated are "suckers" or something of the kind. That said, over the years I've had the chance to talk with people (both men and women) really into financial domination. Not my cup of tea at all, but to each his/her own honestly.

 

[PaxNurgle]

I do think this is entrenched also in the idea of men wanting to be dominated = weakness. Therefore findommes are seen quite harshly but also the idea that men wanting to be dominated are "suckers" or something of the kind. That said, over the years I've had the chance to talk with people (both men and women) really into financial domination. Not my cup of tea at all, but to each his/her own honestly.

I think part of the deal is, with the pro who I was seeing, she saw it as her job to make money, and men who like to be dominated were, well I wouldn't quite say "Suckers," but rather, easily manipulated to make money off of, which was the primary goal. So maybe in a sense, "Suckers" is accurate. Granted, this was a pro domme and not really a lifestyle FLR or D/s relationship. As a sub, I was eager to please, to be an ideal "good sub" and she perhaps sees that as a way to maniupulate her submissives to spend money on her.

 

[Goldenfinger]

I think it is popular but under reported.

 

[PaxNurgle]

well, I apologise for "dominating" the thread but...

Part of the reason it female domination fans are "under-reported", or "closeted" if you will, is there IS a certain stigma about it, even among some of the regulars here on the BDSM forum.

I remember being told once by a regular user here on in the BDSM talk forum (not a drive-by poster either, but one of the "Ask Me Anything" regulars) that men who were into female domination were considered the equivalent of child molesters; that is- creeps, essentially. It was, needless to say, rather sobering to hear that, coming from a forum where I had expected people to be more accepting. Obviously, that view isn't universally shared, but it seems like there is a huge faction, even among BDSM fans, who feel that way. It is part of why I took a long break from the forums a couple years ago, and part of the reason I am still really gun-shy about writing stories with this theme.

 

[supercollider00]

well, I apologise for "dominating" the thread but...

Part of the reason it female domination fans are "under-reported", or "closeted" if you will, is there IS a certain stigma about it, even among some of the regulars here on the BDSM forum.

I remember being told once by a regular user here on in the BDSM talk forum (not a drive-by poster either, but one of the "Ask Me Anything" regulars) that men who were into female domination were considered the equivalent of child molesters; that is- creeps, essentially. It was, needless to say, rather sobering to hear that, coming from a forum where I had expected people to be more accepting. Obviously, that view isn't universally shared, but it seems like there is a huge faction, even among BDSM fans, who feel that way. It is part of why I took a long break from the forums a couple years ago, and part of the reason I am still really gun-shy about writing stories with this theme.

Perhaps not to the point of being compared to child molesters, but there is indeed a definite feel that it's seen as creepy, weak and perverted (in a negative sense). I also think there's two sides of this. Light femdom is an incredibly common fantasy among men, and I doubt anyone sees it as creepy or weak. Most of these men like the idea of femdom, but aren't really into BDSM per say. Then there's those of us that really are into BDSM and femdom.

I also think that the very large presence of shame in online femdom visual pornography might have to do with it. It's almost difficult to find visual femdom pornography that somehow is not related to humiliation, pegging, chastity, cockholding or being a sissy. All of these elements are pretty taboo in society in general as it includes an idea of "weakness" from the man. Now, those things are far from being all of femdom as we know, but from an outsider's perspective....

Anyways a quick 5 cents before working more.

 

[twister947]

Now we're getting to the meat of this thing..

 

[ChristopherDB]

Its my understanding that most of a pro domme's clientele are successful men. Doctors, legal professionals, CEOs or other high-ranking business types.

For these men, part of the excitement is that during a session they have no responsibility, other than to please and obey their mistress. It's a temporary escape from reality and therefore relieves a lot of stress.

Therefore I say that not all men who want to be dominated by a woman are disgusting creeps. Instead, most of them have their act together and are successful in a professional career.

 

[Goldenfinger]

People are interesting. My taboo is great yours is creepy? I do agree that lots of people in high stress jobs find it relaxing and can get quite into it. It’s good therapy.

So I retired awhile ago I didn’t want to be the dominant one at all and hadn’t for some time. It was very easy to slip into a submissive role with my wife. When you do something that lots of people rely on you and you actions and decisions have profound consequences, it’s nice not to make any. It led into more kink when the ghosts came.

 

[Italian_Princess]

Femdom

I recently wrote a story that has femdom themes and joined this website because I didn’t know what else to do with the story than post it online, however it hasn’t got much traction.

Is femdom popular or unpopular here?

I’m considering how that would effect potential future works.

What is Femdom exactly, "I would initially think a dominating female" however it could be for either male or female domination lol. I like to switch. HOw does that play into it?