How popular is femdom?

[JJA122]

What is Femdom exactly, "I would initially think a dominating female" however it could be for either male or female domination lol. I like to switch. HOw does that play into it?

A female dominating either a male,
Or a female,
Although the term "lesdom" exists for that.

It is demonised by some, mostly men, because they generalise it to an insult that goes like: "You're not real men if you like to be abused by women." Which is unfair and doesn't reflect all the flavours of femdom.

 

[Marty Fisher]

I recently wrote a story that has femdom themes and joined this website because I didn’t know what else to do with the story than post it online, however it hasn’t got much traction.

Is femdom popular or unpopular here?

I’m considering how that would effect potential future works.

It's totally a favorite of mine and I welcomed my ex and my current to take the reigns but no such luck :-(

 

[Femdomkamla]

Why a story? There are real life practitioners of Femdom.
I am in an active femdom relationship. I exercise serious control on my slave.

 

[Bamamama1990]

I would say you could have lots of volunteers, though probably the opposite of the guys you want to spank, lol.

It’s very popular actually but like you said the boys and men I want to do it with aren’t the ones into it lol

 

[subcdslut68]

To a certain extent the typical societal gender roles. Men not wanting to admit they are submissive giving the false notion they are “beta” or “weak”.

Femdom is what I look for. I had 16 years with a dominant wife and loved it.

There is a lot of Femdom over on Fetlife.com

 

[SissySalina]

Not sure what qualifies as Femdom, if it is a female in control, then most men are in Femdom weather they admit it or not. All men do something, give in to something she wants, to gain a advantage with a particular woman.
As far as being weak, it take a very strong willed person to give total control to someone else.

This is only a lowly sissy opinion.

 

[Squeeze_Tight]

I do agree sissy that there is some denial among men around their submissions to women

 

[xia44]

Femdom is very popular on Internet actually but like you said the boys and men I want to do it with aren’t the ones into it lol

I agree, Femdom is very popular nowdays and that's really nice!

 

[Ginlover]

It’s a kink that is really interesting to write for, but as others have said I’ve found my female domination stories don’t score as highly as more vanilla stories.

https://www.literotica.com/beta/s/turning-the-tables-30 Is still a H rated story but my lowest rating and is about a pro dominatrix.

https://www.literotica.com/beta/s/shifting-dynamics This one did better and is light femdom or vanilla femdom. I put it in BDSM as I wanted to show a natural authority transfer. But comments say why is it in BDSM as it doesn’t have stereotypical kink. I put it there because there is power exchange. The woman gently dominates their first sex scene. Apparently gentle female domination isn’t extreme enough.

My work in progress is far more extreme including the use of vampire gloves, CBT and prostate milking while caged. In the story I am trying to depict the strength required for the man to submit while also exploring a FLR. I’m writing it as it’s a story I want to tell but I already know it won’t be a well read or voted on story.

Extract from The Reluctant Alpha my WiP (This has not been edited yet)

xxxx

True to her word, she gouged her name into my back. The pain in my mind found release with the blood and sweat Mistress dragged from me.

Like a boxer, once I stood in her ring, everything she inflicted fueled my animal-like brain. The pain felt good. It made me clench my jaw and know I could withstand it. Bring it on. I am invincible.

An insignificant human stuck between life and death. The pain reinforced that I was alive. I am real.

The silence in my head was worth every mark she tattooed on my flesh.

Society says strong, alpha men can’t be weak without reason. Now I had a reason. The goddess bitch tortured my body until physical pain swamped my tormented mind.

It is not the pain in and of itself I craved, it's not winning or losing... it's the state when nothing else exists. Just me and one hell of a fucking battle.

Satiated and exhausted, I let her wrap my shattered body in a soft blanket. I sobbed unashamedly. She just held me, rocking slowly with the same rhythm I associated so much with our sessions.

Today I was not a Captain who had to tell five families their husband, father or son would never be coming home. Today I was not the Commanding Officer who had to visit sixteen soldiers disfigured and disabled. Today I was not the boss who had seen his best friend almost bleed to death.

She gave me a break from the man in control and in charge. I gave Mistress my power and authority and in return, she gave me peace.

xxxx

I guess I’ll have to finish it and publish, then wait to find out the reception.

 

[DreamingOfMyEx]

If you want to write Femdom stories, write Femdom stories, and anyone who has a problem with that can get bent.

Just don't do it for the ratings since you know the numbers won't be to your liking. It's not like your pay is dependent on ratings, right?

AS for why they're not popular, I'll throw in my two cents worth even though someone probably already pointed it out. It's been my experience on story sites, on roleplay sites, and in real life, that men who are seeking Femdom relations (in any form) outnumber the women interested in Femdom by a million to one (give or take).

In short, if I were an attractive woman, knowing what I know now, I could own the world.

There are plenty of dominant males looking for submissive females, there are plenty of submissive females looking for dominant males, there are plenty of dominant women looking for submissive women and submissive women looking for dominant women looking for submissive women -- but guys like us? How pathetic is it that we have something to give away and can't find anyone to take it?

Then, if you're fortunate enough to find a dominant woman, the battle is just beginning. What YOU want from the relationship is probably not what SHE wants from the relationship.

Now your odds are closer to a trillion to one.

In the same vein, what a reader wants from a story may not be what you put in to the story, so that frustration factor might influence the votes as well. I've started reading a LOT of stories that seemed promising at first, but they just went a direction I wasn't interested in going. So I stopped reading, but not because they were poorly done. And I didn't leave bad ratings, but there are plenty of assholes in the world who might.

In a strange sense, it might be because there is a lack of Femdom stories that this phenomena occurs -- a case for posting more Femdom, not less.

I read stories here, I get inspired to write. I have a few stories kicking around in my mind, they're awesome stories. Then I start to write and they just don't come out the way I thought they would. Disjointed, out of focus, trying to go too many directions at once. (just like this post -- sorry, sleep blame it on sleep deprivation) So I say this to anyone who can write a story and post it: Do it, and ratings be damned!

 

[Ginlover]

Then, if you're fortunate enough to find a dominant woman, the battle is just beginning. What YOU want from the relationship is probably not what SHE wants from the relationship.

Now your odds are closer to a trillion to one.

In the same vein, what a reader wants from a story may not be what you put in to the story, so that frustration factor might influence the votes as well. I've started reading a LOT of stories that seemed promising at first, but they just went a direction I wasn't interested in going. So I stopped reading, but not because they were poorly done. And I didn't leave bad ratings, but there are plenty of assholes in the world who might.

This^^^^

I’ve played with a couple of submissive men. One provided a three page detailed list of what he wanted, down to where and how he was restrained. Afterwards he was desperately keen to know what I enjoyed. I told him it was the mental domination, as I liked the power knowing he could ignore me but seeing him choosing to do what I asked. He replied straight away he didn’t like it and next time he wanted me to restrain him in a more physical way so he could fight and not get out... the summary is there will NEVER be a next time because sure as hell I expect to enjoy the interaction too, topping from the bottom is fucking miserable and I’m not interested in playing that game and I will not be anyone’s kink dispenser to order unless they want to pay me a substantial amount of money.

Sadly this is type of male sub is the type I’ve spoken to and met the most. It’s not attractive, but they are so vehement in what they want and their needs they don’t even entertain a dynamic is a two way relationship. (Caveat I’ve watched submissive women do this too especially when they first start exploring D/s)

I think you have hit the nail on the head why femdom stories are not popular. Dominant men are not interested in reading them, submissive women are not either, the large population of submissive men or men wanting to explore their submissive side are turned off to the point they stop reading if the author doesn’t write exactly how they want their submission to look. So now you’re left with dominant women who might read and might bother to vote or score.

As a writer I do write because I want people to read. I love feedback or knowing someone bothered to score it. I write for my readers reactions, I do not write because I’m turned on by a story I have written.

One day I will finish my Reluctant Alpha story but it will continue to take a back seat to stories I know people will read and enjoy.

This YouTube video isn’t as over the top as it sounds and I suspect other women who identify as dominant some or all of the time will agree they’ve met this man or spoken to him at least once.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=drcTRzO2wMk

 

[JJA122]

This^^^^
I think you have hit the nail on the head why femdom stories are not popular. Dominant men are not interested in reading them, submissive women are not either, the large population of submissive men or men wanting to explore their submissive side are turned off to the point they stop reading if the author doesn’t write exactly how they want their submission to look. So now you’re left with dominant women who might read and might bother to vote or score.

I'm finding out exactly that, the more I read. I myself like it all. Even surprised myself that one author disliked foot-fetish in femdom stories. Then the near opposite attractions of "findom" and "FLR"...

 

[YoungToy]

Not nearly as popular as MDom and FSub, but still around here. Seems to be more men than women admitting they're into it as well. Probably to avoid their inbox being flooded really

 

[NoJo]

I started writing here 18 years ago because I had a femdom fantasy that wouldn't go away, so I wrote and posted it here. Since then I've posted quite a few stories, mostly femdom (findom in particular). But my most popular stories aren't femdom, but humour and satire, which comes naturally to me.

I love writing for my niche -- I've long ceased trying to garner praise and accolades for my writing, because the only test they need to pass for me to post them here is whether they get me aroused.

 

[LisaVegas]

I recently wrote a story that has femdom themes and joined this website because I didn’t know what else to do with the story than post it online, however it hasn’t got much traction.

Is femdom popular or unpopular here?

I’m considering how that would effect potential future works.

The BDSM group I attend has femdoms. I know many men from the group that love to submit to them or want to. Seems there is a high demand for them.

 

[Squeeze_Tight]

Not nearly as popular as MDom and FSub, but still around here. Seems to be more men than women admitting they're into it as well. Probably to avoid their inbox being flooded really

The optimism of guys who slide into DM’s with very little knowledge of who they’re messaging astounds me.

 

[Squeeze_Tight]

Like others have said, I think it’s popular, just not main stream. There are also topics adjacent to fem dom (dominant woman, gentle fem dom, fin dom, FLR’s) that get discussed in threads. I do agree these types of women seem to have a tendency to lurk. I think it’s gotten more popular, and tends to skew with a younger audience these days.

Write your stories, there is an audience.

I just have to say I love this avi!

 

[surferjake]

This is a super interesting perspective. And I can totally see how this happens. I think some of it may stem from people new to a D/s dynamic, or who only have touched it peripherally (pointing at myself here, as well).

I think there is some baggage of expectations from porn and other sources that sets an assumed framework (as it tends to do across most sexuality.. down to vanilla hetero circumstances).

I do think in any beginning correspondence (especially online), there is a struggle to 'fit' the role you are trying to sit in. A 3 page manifesto is ... odd ... is the only word I can really grasp for, other than it making me chuckle.

For me, the few times I have tried to interact with a (supposedly) dominant woman, I was left struggling to find out what THEY did want (aside from those that just want money tributes after roping you in - which is pretty easy to spot now early on).

The one time it was working, there were some personal struggles on her side that I couldn't help with (completely unrelated to the D/s part of things, but she was very stressed and on edge life-wise), and I'll take the blame that I likely did something that she got angry with me and ghosted me just to simply her life.

But, I had *thought* I led in all cases trying to find out what they wanted (primarily given my relative inexperience, which I stated up front).. but then it seemed in many cases that they didn't know what they wanted, or expected me to figure it out with very little guidance. Though, I did expect to be given tasks to prove myself or for her entertainment.. so maybe I was expecting the wrong things. (though the one somewhat successful encounter mentioned above worked very much that way)

But, in the vacuum of instruction, I can see that I might move towards 'topping from the bottom' just to figure out what they want.

Now, how this all translates into readers of femdom stories... any story that pushes past one's expectations and boundaries can turn someone off. And I think stories tend to be written with either the sub or the dom in the protagonist role (so either it focuses on things for the sub that pleasures the sub, or it focuses on the dom, and what pleasures the dom.. as opposed to illustrating how the dom expresses what they expect, and the pleasure the sub takes in fulfilling their role, and in turn how that pleases the dom.

I'm not sure if that helps at all.. personally, I thought the story was pretty good.

This^^^^

I’ve played with a couple of submissive men. One provided a three page detailed list of what he wanted, down to where and how he was restrained. Afterwards he was desperately keen to know what I enjoyed. I told him it was the mental domination, as I liked the power knowing he could ignore me but seeing him choosing to do what I asked. He replied straight away he didn’t like it and next time he wanted me to restrain him in a more physical way so he could fight and not get out... the summary is there will NEVER be a next time because sure as hell I expect to enjoy the interaction too, topping from the bottom is fucking miserable and I’m not interested in playing that game and I will not be anyone’s kink dispenser to order unless they want to pay me a substantial amount of money.

Sadly this is type of male sub is the type I’ve spoken to and met the most. It’s not attractive, but they are so vehement in what they want and their needs they don’t even entertain a dynamic is a two way relationship. (Caveat I’ve watched submissive women do this too especially when they first start exploring D/s)

I think you have hit the nail on the head why femdom stories are not popular. Dominant men are not interested in reading them, submissive women are not either, the large population of submissive men or men wanting to explore their submissive side are turned off to the point they stop reading if the author doesn’t write exactly how they want their submission to look. So now you’re left with dominant women who might read and might bother to vote or score.

As a writer I do write because I want people to read. I love feedback or knowing someone bothered to score it. I write for my readers reactions, I do not write because I’m turned on by a story I have written.

One day I will finish my Reluctant Alpha story but it will continue to take a back seat to stories I know people will read and enjoy.

This YouTube video isn’t as over the top as it sounds and I suspect other women who identify as dominant some or all of the time will agree they’ve met this man or spoken to him at least once.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=drcTRzO2wMk

 

[mrsjonnie]

Interesting. I often write personalised Femdom stiries for customers. Many are ex military, or Police etc... I'm also quite dominent in the bedroom. X

 

[NoJo]

Many are ex military, or Police etc...

Some of us aren't even "ex":

If you're used to giving or taking orders, domination and/or submission comes somewhat naturally.

Like other guys with a femdom fetish, I'm in real life pretty much the opposite --outwardly at least.

My wife is pretty vanilla but she likes her wrists held down tight and her arms spread wide when I go down on her, like I'm forcing myself on her. As a submissive, I like to please her, so I oblige. She wears patent heels and sheer stockings in the bedroom, and looks like a domme. And I actually feel really submissive performing cunnilingus. So there we both are, getting off. Not sure who's fantasising about what, but the sex sure is fun.

After she found out about my embarrassing findom fetish, she's taken to doing a "Melania" on me when we fuck, telling me she's going to take all my money after I cum. What a good sport she is.

 

[Justplatonic]

Not sure what qualifies as Femdom, if it is a female in control, then most men are in Femdom weather they admit it or not. All men do something, give in to something she wants, to gain a advantage with a particular woman.
As far as being weak, it take a very strong willed person to give total control to someone else.

This is only a lowly sissy opinion.

Thank you SissySalina! At least that's the way I see it too. The art of relinquishing your control (is admirable from my perspective), trusting a Domme 100%, with essentially (in some cases) your life in their hands. It's more than an auto-response to stimulus. You make a conscious choice. You always have a choice to stay or walk (or crawl) away.

My two cents, I feel Femdom is yet another umbrella term ultimately. Perhaps that distorts any calculations or results of any data.

 

[Will527]

Having written and posted stories with the femdom theme here and on other sites, I can vouch for the fact that there are few seemingly who are interested in reading such stories. There may be women who are secretly interested in dominating a man but there seems to be few indications of it.

 

[Woolmohair]

In Lit chat, and on FetLife, I see a lot of people into FemDomme, enough so that it is a sort of cottage industry. It is hot to have a strong woman control us, command us, take liberties with our bodies. In American culture, it is still taboo in many ways, to have a woman dominate a man, and in the sexual sense, conquer, commandeer, subjugate his body parts, in some way diminish him, from minor diminution to utter humiliation, and it makes it sexy. The temptress who can command you with her gaze has been a character throughout the history of literature, for a reason - she makes people hot. Makes me hot, anyway. Lots of websites are devoted to FemDomme and a number of related fetishes. When looking for audio to enhance porn watching one time, I, um, came upon, erotic hypnosis videos on the big video site. Much of it is hypnosis to make men submit, succumb to a Dominant Mistress, and from there, forced bi, sissification, domestic servitude, sex slave, sex toy, slut, and so forth. So from my perspective, FemDomme is maybe not the biggest fetish, but it is pretty popular. I've written some stories that are posted in my profile, might clarify my thoughts there in.

 

[Wonderer67]

Interesting. I often write personalised Femdom stiries for customers. Many are ex military, or Police etc... I'm also quite dominent in the bedroom. X

A pro domme I’ve known for many years had many active and former cops and military as clients.

I too am former military and I love being submissive. I’m good at following orders and it’s refreshing to be told what to do (work pressure, personal life, balancing a number of things).

 

[Goldenfinger]

A pro domme I’ve known for many years had many active and former cops and military as clients.

I too am former military and I love being submissive. I’m good at following orders and it’s refreshing to be told what to do (work pressure, personal life, balancing a number of things).

Thanks for your service.

Navy ret.