I'm young (35), in good health, 6' 2" 200 lbs, don't drink, love my wife tremendously, find her super sexy and she rocks my world in bed 10+ times a month. For the last year it seems like my age may be catching up to me. I had a few random failures in bed. Didn't think too much about them. It seems like it is getting worse though. I'm pretty sure that I need to go to the doctor, but I'm nervous to do it and just need reassurance that my thought process is correct. Here are the reason why I think that it is a physical issue, not mental. I'm not getting spontaneous random erections during the day. Most days non at all. When I do, they are not as long or firm. Same thing in the morning. Not nearly as intense. When I make love to my wife, unless something is directly being done to me, kissing rubbing, etc, my erection is gone. Like when I'm performing oral sex on her, my erection is gone. It takes a bit of work then to get it back. Even taking a 20 second break to apply lube will cause me to loose it. During sex, my erection will usually come and go during the act. It is never as firm as it used to be just a year ago. I still have tons of desire and sexual energy for my wife, it is just as if my little friend is not getting the memo. Any thoughts? Any advice on getting over fears of talking to the doctor?
How to know if you have an ED problem?
- Thread starter berk1234
- Start date
Dual_Triode
Blue Glow Inside
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By all means, talk to your doctor. There is nothing to be ashamed or embarrassed about. Often, ED can be an indicator of another medical issue, so seeing your doctor is important. You didn't mention if you're on any medication - that can also be a factor.
At its basic level, getting and keeping an erection is a "hydraulic" issue. The brain/spinal cord triggers a small valve in the abdominal wall which closes off the blood leaving the penis. There is a substantial artery supplying blood to the erectile tissue. Closing the exit valve causes the spongy tissue to expand.
ED involves either the nervous system (is the exit valve closing?) or the blood supply system (is there enough pressure and flow?). A malfunction in either of these systems warrants a trip to the doctor.
Your doctor should check out the possible physiological causes. He might also prescribe Cialis/Viagra medication.
At its basic level, getting and keeping an erection is a "hydraulic" issue. The brain/spinal cord triggers a small valve in the abdominal wall which closes off the blood leaving the penis. There is a substantial artery supplying blood to the erectile tissue. Closing the exit valve causes the spongy tissue to expand.
ED involves either the nervous system (is the exit valve closing?) or the blood supply system (is there enough pressure and flow?). A malfunction in either of these systems warrants a trip to the doctor.
Your doctor should check out the possible physiological causes. He might also prescribe Cialis/Viagra medication.
You're too young for that. I'm 42 and have been married for 15 years. I'm not getting charged up by my wife, but it's b/c the only options are missionary and reluctantly on her part, doggy.
I get plenty of hardons, just not necessarily for my wife. Talk to your doctor.
I get plenty of hardons, just not necessarily for my wife. Talk to your doctor.
SweetErika
Fingers Crossed
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- Apr 27, 2004
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- 13,442
Um, younger people can definitely have erectile dysfunction.
The fact that the OP isn't getting spontaneous erections--especially since he's 35 and in good shape--indicates something isn't working properly. Berk, absolutely get to a doctor who really knows what they're doing when it comes to ED as soon as possible. If you need to see your primary care doc first, don't hesitate to ask for a referral to see a urologist who specializes in ED. Delaying a diagnosis and treatment may very well exacerbate whatever is going on with you, and could even lead to permanent damage if your penis isn't getting proper blood flow throughout the day or whatever.
There's NO shame in taking care of yourself and wanting your body to function properly, especially at your relatively young age. You should be very proud of yourself for taking charge of your health, and no doctor will think poorly of you for that. Docs and nurses have seen and heard just about everything, and ED is definitely on the mild end of the spectrum. It's not like you're going in to have a dead rodent removed from your ass or something.
Berk
I agree with what others have said. Thirty five is too young to have anything but rare erection failures. I will admit that I started having am occasional failure to launch when I started hitting my late 40's, but it was maybe once a year and it was almost a joke between us. It was still possible to get her off with manual and oral and we just chalked it off to the moon and stars being out of alignment. At this point 20 years later, I'll admit that it requires some skillful oral to get me going since spontanious "though boners" seem to be somewhat a thing of the past.
It is very important for any man to see a doctor when he starts having ED, especially someone as young as 35. It's normal for testosterone to START dropping at about 35 with about a 1 percent drop per year. That means, under normal circumstances, by the time you're 70, you should still have at least 50-60% of what you started with at 35. Unless you started with a relatively low T level, you should still have a reasonable libido at age 70.
Testosterone isn't the only thing that controls erections. It's more of the thing that controls if you WANT and erection. ED can have multiple causes, physical and psychological. If you can still get it up to masturbate, then there could be some psychological "performance anxiety" things going on. Is there any significant tansion between you and your partner? Financial issues? Sexual issues? Job issues? who knows. Do you still have "morning wood"? That's a good sign, especially when still as young as 35 that Low T isn't the issue.
Whatever you do, you need to see your doctor for a good blood work-up that includes a serium "total testosterone" level as well as free testosterone and estrodiol levels. There are factors that can change the balance between T and E even though your total level may be ok. There are things that make your body convert T to E at a level that isn't normal. Assuming that your heart and lungs seem ok and that you have a relatively low PSA, you may actually want to see an endocrinologist and have a work up to measure LH and FSH to make sure your pituitary is functioning well. Those are the hormones that control how much testosterone your testicles are producing. Assuming that those are ok, there are things like aromatase inhibitors and such that can help give a kick to your testicles to produce more T. Even things like exercise, especially weight lifting and certain foods, can help.
One thing you want to try to avoid if possible, especially at your age, is simple hormone replacement therapy. Do not get talked into this unless you have explored other options and there is no hope. Getting T shots or smearing T gel on your skin can cause risks for you and your wife and kids. It will also shut down your testicles, perhaps forever. T replacement is your last ditch option. I hope you haven't been messing with any sorts of steroids already because they can fuck up your testicles and your sex life big time if you aren't careful.
Also, if all health issues are ok, you can always try Viagra or Cialis or one of those things. They supposedly work in about 75% of the men who try them. When they don't work, there could be some serious medical factors or psychological factors. "Performance Anxiety" and worrying about not getting an erection is a sure indicator that you won't get one. Ever played baseball? Ever had a hitting slump? Ever played football? Ever seemed to drop every pass that hits your hands?
Seriously, good luck. Feel free to PM me if you have questions.
I agree with what others have said. Thirty five is too young to have anything but rare erection failures. I will admit that I started having am occasional failure to launch when I started hitting my late 40's, but it was maybe once a year and it was almost a joke between us. It was still possible to get her off with manual and oral and we just chalked it off to the moon and stars being out of alignment. At this point 20 years later, I'll admit that it requires some skillful oral to get me going since spontanious "though boners" seem to be somewhat a thing of the past.
It is very important for any man to see a doctor when he starts having ED, especially someone as young as 35. It's normal for testosterone to START dropping at about 35 with about a 1 percent drop per year. That means, under normal circumstances, by the time you're 70, you should still have at least 50-60% of what you started with at 35. Unless you started with a relatively low T level, you should still have a reasonable libido at age 70.
Testosterone isn't the only thing that controls erections. It's more of the thing that controls if you WANT and erection. ED can have multiple causes, physical and psychological. If you can still get it up to masturbate, then there could be some psychological "performance anxiety" things going on. Is there any significant tansion between you and your partner? Financial issues? Sexual issues? Job issues? who knows. Do you still have "morning wood"? That's a good sign, especially when still as young as 35 that Low T isn't the issue.
Whatever you do, you need to see your doctor for a good blood work-up that includes a serium "total testosterone" level as well as free testosterone and estrodiol levels. There are factors that can change the balance between T and E even though your total level may be ok. There are things that make your body convert T to E at a level that isn't normal. Assuming that your heart and lungs seem ok and that you have a relatively low PSA, you may actually want to see an endocrinologist and have a work up to measure LH and FSH to make sure your pituitary is functioning well. Those are the hormones that control how much testosterone your testicles are producing. Assuming that those are ok, there are things like aromatase inhibitors and such that can help give a kick to your testicles to produce more T. Even things like exercise, especially weight lifting and certain foods, can help.
One thing you want to try to avoid if possible, especially at your age, is simple hormone replacement therapy. Do not get talked into this unless you have explored other options and there is no hope. Getting T shots or smearing T gel on your skin can cause risks for you and your wife and kids. It will also shut down your testicles, perhaps forever. T replacement is your last ditch option. I hope you haven't been messing with any sorts of steroids already because they can fuck up your testicles and your sex life big time if you aren't careful.
Also, if all health issues are ok, you can always try Viagra or Cialis or one of those things. They supposedly work in about 75% of the men who try them. When they don't work, there could be some serious medical factors or psychological factors. "Performance Anxiety" and worrying about not getting an erection is a sure indicator that you won't get one. Ever played baseball? Ever had a hitting slump? Ever played football? Ever seemed to drop every pass that hits your hands?
Seriously, good luck. Feel free to PM me if you have questions.
rockhardwaiting
Really Experienced
- Joined
- Feb 6, 2012
- Posts
- 100
I don't think you need to be 50 or 60 or whatever to have something like this. It could be something health related that hasn't been tested (testosterone, medications you are on, etc.). Best to talk to a doctor like others have said, actually I would definitely talk to a doctor about it. Not a big deal really, just say it doesn't work like when you were 20.. according to some stats there are a ton of people on ED meds, so I'm sure they see a lot of it.
PaulBlart
Really Experienced
- Joined
- Dec 8, 2011
- Posts
- 159
Berk, definitely talk to your doctor. As far as fear is concerned, trust me, this is business as usual for a physician. I started to have trouble with ED at about your age following a surgical procedure. However, in the absence of an event such as this, FREQUENT ED in a 35 year old really needs to be thoroughly evaluated by a physician. For that matter, frequent ED in anyone needs to be evaluated as it can be a sign of other, significant health problems. I had slight nerve damage and I also have to take a medication that causes ED as a side effect. Everything else in my workup was normal and I was prescribed first Cialis (which worked like a charm, but caused horrible nasal congestion for about 36 hours after each dose) and then Viagra, which I currently use. As long as I take it on an empty stomach, it works extremely well. It's a bit of a drag to have to plan sex around it and to have to take a pill, but it is much better than the alternative for both me and my wife.
BertrandRussell
Really Experienced
- Joined
- Jan 15, 2009
- Posts
- 288
What's missing here?
It took me a while to realize that you made no mention of your wife's reaction. You have told your wife, right? If not, you should. ( I'm guessing that you have not ) How would you feel if your wife had a medical problem that was serious enough to require a visit to a doctor, but she didn't tell you about it?
It took me a while to realize that you made no mention of your wife's reaction. You have told your wife, right? If not, you should. ( I'm guessing that you have not ) How would you feel if your wife had a medical problem that was serious enough to require a visit to a doctor, but she didn't tell you about it?
Thanks for all the advice guys and gals. I took it to heart and I have an appointment with my general pratictioner for this Friday. To touch on a couple points that people brought up:
There is really no outside things that should be effecting me. I don't drink, smoke, take any kid of drugs/meds, and stress levels are not out of the ordinary.
My wife is on board with hat is going on. She noticed things weren't happening the way they were supposed to. She tries to not take it personally, but she at time thinks that it is because I'm she's not attractive for me. She could not be more wrong. She's hot, we have a great relationship and she's completely supportive of me.
There is really no outside things that should be effecting me. I don't drink, smoke, take any kid of drugs/meds, and stress levels are not out of the ordinary.
My wife is on board with hat is going on. She noticed things weren't happening the way they were supposed to. She tries to not take it personally, but she at time thinks that it is because I'm she's not attractive for me. She could not be more wrong. She's hot, we have a great relationship and she's completely supportive of me.
<<<< My wife is on board with hat is going on. She noticed things weren't happening the way they were supposed to. She tries to not take it personally, but she at time thinks that it is because I'm she's not attractive for me. She could not be more wrong. She's hot, we have a great relationship and she's completely supportive of me. >>>>
Sounds like a fine sensible and caring woman. It's important that she not take it personally and that there is no "blame" thrown around. Good luck.
Sounds like a fine sensible and caring woman. It's important that she not take it personally and that there is no "blame" thrown around. Good luck.
