How to make people laugh

[wally2450]

Everybody knows that no matter how much you're in love when
you get married, at one point or another the honeymoon is
over. That's when the excuses start. I've used them, you've
used them and believe it or not, my wife has used them.
Following is a top ten list of some of the best excuses to
get out of having sex with your significant other.

10. I'd love to honey, but I just banged your sister.

9. We're out of paper bags for your head again.

8. You haven't shaved in so long I'm afraid I'd feel I was
making love to Big Foot.

7. You're 20 bucks short.

6. We're out of gin again.

5. I used my last sponge for the dishes.

4. Sorry, this isn't a conjugal visit.

3. I can't tonight, honey, I spent myself earlier today watching
all those pornos.

2. Only if you put on this wig and talk like a Chinese hooker.


And the number 1 excuse to not have sex:

1. Your gynecologist just called - you still have crabs and
you know how I don't like seafood.

 

[glynndah]

Subject: 3 Blondes
Three blondes (natural) died and found themselves standing before St. Peter. He told them that before they could enter the Kingdom, they had to tell him what Easter was.

The first blonde said, "Easter is a holiday where they have a big feast and we give thanks and eat turkey."
St. Peter said, "Noooooo," and he banished her to hell.

The second blonde said, "Easter is when we celebrate Jesus' birth and exchange gifts."
St. Peter said, "Noooooo," and he banished her to hell.

The third blonde said, she knew what Easter is, and St. Peter said, "So, tell me."
She said, "Easter is a Christian holiday that coincides with the Jewish festival of Passover. Jesus was having Passover feast with His disciples when he was betrayed by Judas, and the Romans arrested him. The Romans hung Him on the cross and eventually He died. Then they buried Him in a tomb behind a very large boulder ...
St. Peter said, "Verrrrrry good."

Then the blonde continued, "Now every year the Jews roll away the boulder and Jesus comes out. If he sees his shadow, we have six more weeks of basketball."

St. Peter fainted.

 

[glynndah]

A farmer stopped by the local mechanic shop to have his truck fixed. They couldn't do it while he waited, so he said he didn't live far and would just walk home. On the way home he stopped at the hardware store and bought a bucket and a gallon of paint. He then stopped by the feed store and picked up a couple of chickens and a goose. However, struggling outside the store he now had a problem - how to carry his entire purchases home.

While he was scratching his head he was approached by a little old lady who told him she was lost. She asked, "Can you tell me how to get to 1603 Mockingbird Lane ?"

The farmer said, "Well, as a matter of fact, my farm is very close to that house. I would walk you there but I can't carry this lot."

The old lady suggested, "Why don't you put the can of paint in the bucket. Carry the bucket in one hand; put a chicken under each arm and carry the goose in your other hand?"

“Why thank you very much," he said and proceeded to walk the old girl home.

On the way he says "Let's take my short cut and go down this alley. We'll be there in no time."
The little old lady looked him over cautiously then said, "I am a lonely widow without a husband to defend me. How do I know that when we get in the alley you won't hold me up against the wall, pull up my skirt, and have your way with me?"

The farmer said, "Holy smokes, lady! I'm carrying a bucket, and a gallon of paint, two chickens, and a goose. How in the world could I possibly hold you up against the wall and do that?"

The old lady replied, "Set the goose down, cover him with the bucket, put
the paint on top of the bucket, and I'll hold the chickens."

 

[glynndah]

WEEK AT THE GYM: ONE MAN'S STORY

Dear Diary,
>
For my sixty fifth birthday this year, my wife (the dear) purchased a week of personal training at the local health club for me. Although am still in great shape since playing on my college tennis team 45 years ago, I decided it would be a good idea to go ahead and give it a try.

I called the club and made my reservations with a personal trainer named Belinda, who identified herself as a 26-year-old aerobics instructor and model for athletic clothing and swim wear. My wife seemed pleased with my enthusiasm to get started!

The club encouraged me to keep a diary to chart my progress

MONDAY
Started my day at 6:00 a.m. Tough to get out of bed, but found it was well worth it when I arrived at the health club to find Belinda waiting for me. She is something of a Greek goddess - with blond hair, dancing eyes and a dazzling white smile. Woo Hoo!! Belinda gave me a tour and showed me the machines. She took my pulse after five minutes on the
treadmill. She was alarmed that my pulse was so fast, but I attribute it to standing next to her in her Lycra aerobic outfit. I enjoyed watching the skillful way in which she conducted her aerobics class after my workout today. Very inspiring!

Belinda was encouraging as I did my sit-ups, although my gut was already aching from holding it in the whole time she was around. This is going to be a FANTASTIC week-!!

TUESDAY

I drank a whole pot of coffee, but I finally made it out the door. Belinda made me lie on my back and push a heavy iron bar into the air -- then she put weights on it! My legs were a little wobbly on the treadmill, but I made the full mile.

Belinda's rewarding smile made it all worthwhile. I feel GREAT-!!
It's a whole new life for me.
WEDNESDAY

The only way I can brush my teeth is by laying on the toothbrush on the counter and moving my mouth back and forth over it. I believe I have a hernia in both pectorals. Driving was OK as long as I didn't try to steer or stop. I parked on top of a GEO in the club parking lot. Belinda was impatient with me, insisting that my screams bothered other club members. Her voice is a little too perky for early in the morning and when she scolds, she gets this nasally whine that is VERY annoying. My chest hurt when I got on the treadmill, so Belinda put me on the stair monster. Why the heck would anyone invent a machine to simulate an activity rendered obsolete by elevators? Belinda told me it would help me get in shape and enjoy life. She said some other junk too.

THURSDAY

Belinda was waiting for me with her vampire-like teeth exposed as her thin, cruel lips were pulled back in a full snarl. I couldn't help being a half an hour late, it took me that long to tie my shoes. Belinda took me to work out with dumbbells. When she was not looking, I ran and hid in the men's room. She sent Lars to find me. Then, as punishment, she put me on the rowing machine -- which I sank.

FRIDAY

I hate that witch Belinda more than any human being has ever hated any other human being in the history of the world. Stupid, skinny, anemic little cheerleader. If there was a part of my body I could move without unbearable pain, I would beat her with it. Belinda wanted me to work on my triceps I don't have any triceps! And if you don't want dents in
the floor, don't hand me the barbells or anything that weighs more than a sandwich. The treadmill flung me off and I landed on a health and nutrition teacher. Why couldn't it have been someone softer, like the drama coach or the choir director?

SATURDAY

Belinda left a message on my answering machine in her grating, shrilly voice wondering why I did not show up today. Just hearing her made me want to smash the machine with my planner. However, I lacked the strength to even use the TV remote and ended up
catching eleven straight hours of the Weather Channel.

SUNDAY

I'm having the Church van pick me up for services today so I can go and thank GOD that this week is over. I will also pray that next year my wife will choose a gift for me that is fun -- like a root canal or a vasectomy.

 

[glynndah]

Vanilla Pudding Robbery

Excerpted from an article which appeared in the Dublin Times about a bank robbery on March 2.

Once inside the bank shortly after midnight, their efforts at disabling the security system got underway immediately. The robbers, who expected to find one or two large safes filled with cash & valuables, were surprised to see hundreds of smaller safes throughout the bank. The robbers cracked the first safe's combination, and inside they found only a small bowl of vanilla pudding. As recorded on the bank's audio tape system, one robber said, "At least we'll have a bit to eat." The robbers opened up a second safe, and it also contained nothing but vanilla pudding. The process continued until all safes were opened. They did not find one pound sterling, a diamond, or an ounce of gold. Instead, all the safes contained covered bowls of pudding. Disappointed, the robbers made a quiet exit, each leaving with nothing more than a queasy, uncomfortably full stomach.
The newspaper headline read:
IRELAND'S LARGEST SPERM BANK ROBBED EARLY THIS MORNING...

 

[glynndah]

CATHOLIC HORSES

Bubba was from Alabama, and was a good ol' Southern Baptist. He loved to
sneak away to the race track.

One day he was there betting on the ponies, and losing his shirt, when he
noticed a priest step out onto the track and bless the forehead of one of
the horses lining up for the 4th race. Lo and behold, this horse -- a very
long shot -- won the race.

Bubba was most interested to see what the priest did in the next race.
Sure enough, he watched the priest step out onto the track as the horses for
the fifth race lined up, and place a blessing on the forehead of one of the
horses.

Bubba made a beeline for the window and placed a small bet on the horse.
Again, even though another long shot, the horse the priest had blessed won
the race. Bubba collected his winnings and anxiously waited to see which
horse the priest bestowed his blessing on for the 6th race.

The priest showed, blessed a horse, Bubba bet on it, and it won! Bubba was
elated! As the day went on, the priest continued blessing one of the horses,
and it always came in first.

Bubba began to pull in some serious money, and by the last race, he knew his
wildest dreams were going to come true. He made a quick stop at the ATM,
withdrew big money and awaited the priest's blessing that would tell him
which horse to bet on. True to his pattern, the priest stepped out onto the
track before the last race and blessed the forehead, eyes, ears, and hooves
of one of the horses.

Bubba bet every cent, and watched the horse come in dead last. He was
dumbfounded. He made his way to the track, and when he found the priest, he
demanded, "What happened, Father? All day you blessed horses, and they won.
The last race, you blessed a horse and he lost. Now I've lost all my savings
thanks to you!!"

The priest nodded wisely and said, "That's the problem with you
Protestants....... You can't tell the difference between a simple blessing and the Last Rites."

 

[glynndah]

A man wanted to get married. He was having trouble choosing among three likely candidates. He gives each woman a present of $5,000 and watches to see what they do with the money.

The first does a total make over. She goes to a fancy beauty salon gets her hair done, new make up and buys several new outfits and dresses up very nicely for the man. She tells him that she has done this to be more attractive for him because she loves him so much.
The man was impressed.

The second goes shopping to buy the man gifts. She gets him a new set of golf clubs, some new gizmos for his computer, and some expensive clothes. As she presents these gifts, she tells him that she has spent all the money on him because she loves him so much.

Again, the man is impressed.
The third invests the money in the stock market. She earns several times the $5,000. She gives him back his $5000 and reinvests the remainder in a joint account. She tells him that she wants to save for their future because she loves him so much.
Obviously, the man was impressed.

The man thought for a long time about what each woman had done with the money he'd given her.

Then, he married the one with the biggest boobs.


There is more money being spent on breast implants and Viagra today than on Alzheimer's research. This means that by 2040, there should be a large elderly population with perky boobs and huge erections and absolutely no recollection of what to do with them.

 

[wally2450]

James Bond walks into a bar and takes a seat next to a very
attractive woman. He gives her a quick glance, then casually looks at
his watch for a moment. The woman notices this and asks, "Is your
date running late?" "No," Bond replies, "Q has just given me this
state-of-the-art watch. I was just testing it." The woman, intrigued,
says, "A state-of-the-art watch? What's so special about it?" "I can
communicate with it telepathically... It told me you're not wearing
any panties. The woman replies: "It's wrong, because I am wearing
panties. Bond: "Strange, I think it's running an hour fast."

 

[smoothdevil]

WEEK AT THE GYM: ONE MAN'S STORY

Dear Diary,
>
For my sixty fifth birthday this year, my wife (the dear) purchased a week of personal training at the local health club for me. Although am still in great shape since playing on my college tennis team 45 years ago, I decided it would be a good idea to go ahead and give it a try.

I called the club and made my reservations with a personal trainer named Belinda, who identified herself as a 26-year-old aerobics instructor and model for athletic clothing and swim wear. My wife seemed pleased with my enthusiasm to get started!

The club encouraged me to keep a diary to chart my progress

MONDAY
Started my day at 6:00 a.m. Tough to get out of bed, but found it was well worth it when I arrived at the health club to find Belinda waiting for me. She is something of a Greek goddess - with blond hair, dancing eyes and a dazzling white smile. Woo Hoo!! Belinda gave me a tour and showed me the machines. She took my pulse after five minutes on the
treadmill. She was alarmed that my pulse was so fast, but I attribute it to standing next to her in her Lycra aerobic outfit. I enjoyed watching the skillful way in which she conducted her aerobics class after my workout today. Very inspiring!

Belinda was encouraging as I did my sit-ups, although my gut was already aching from holding it in the whole time she was around. This is going to be a FANTASTIC week-!!

TUESDAY

I drank a whole pot of coffee, but I finally made it out the door. Belinda made me lie on my back and push a heavy iron bar into the air -- then she put weights on it! My legs were a little wobbly on the treadmill, but I made the full mile.

Belinda's rewarding smile made it all worthwhile. I feel GREAT-!!
It's a whole new life for me.
WEDNESDAY

The only way I can brush my teeth is by laying on the toothbrush on the counter and moving my mouth back and forth over it. I believe I have a hernia in both pectorals. Driving was OK as long as I didn't try to steer or stop. I parked on top of a GEO in the club parking lot. Belinda was impatient with me, insisting that my screams bothered other club members. Her voice is a little too perky for early in the morning and when she scolds, she gets this nasally whine that is VERY annoying. My chest hurt when I got on the treadmill, so Belinda put me on the stair monster. Why the heck would anyone invent a machine to simulate an activity rendered obsolete by elevators? Belinda told me it would help me get in shape and enjoy life. She said some other junk too.

THURSDAY

Belinda was waiting for me with her vampire-like teeth exposed as her thin, cruel lips were pulled back in a full snarl. I couldn't help being a half an hour late, it took me that long to tie my shoes. Belinda took me to work out with dumbbells. When she was not looking, I ran and hid in the men's room. She sent Lars to find me. Then, as punishment, she put me on the rowing machine -- which I sank.

FRIDAY

I hate that witch Belinda more than any human being has ever hated any other human being in the history of the world. Stupid, skinny, anemic little cheerleader. If there was a part of my body I could move without unbearable pain, I would beat her with it. Belinda wanted me to work on my triceps I don't have any triceps! And if you don't want dents in
the floor, don't hand me the barbells or anything that weighs more than a sandwich. The treadmill flung me off and I landed on a health and nutrition teacher. Why couldn't it have been someone softer, like the drama coach or the choir director?

SATURDAY

Belinda left a message on my answering machine in her grating, shrilly voice wondering why I did not show up today. Just hearing her made me want to smash the machine with my planner. However, I lacked the strength to even use the TV remote and ended up
catching eleven straight hours of the Weather Channel.

SUNDAY

I'm having the Church van pick me up for services today so I can go and thank GOD that this week is over. I will also pray that next year my wife will choose a gift for me that is fun -- like a root canal or a vasectomy.

LMAO LMAO

 

[smoothdevil]

Everybody knows that no matter how much you're in love when
you get married, at one point or another the honeymoon is
over. That's when the excuses start. I've used them, you've
used them and believe it or not, my wife has used them.
Following is a top ten list of some of the best excuses to
get out of having sex with your significant other.

10. I'd love to honey, but I just banged your sister.

9. We're out of paper bags for your head again.

8. You haven't shaved in so long I'm afraid I'd feel I was
making love to Big Foot.

7. You're 20 bucks short.

6. We're out of gin again.

5. I used my last sponge for the dishes.

4. Sorry, this isn't a conjugal visit.

3. I can't tonight, honey, I spent myself earlier today watching
all those pornos.

2. Only if you put on this wig and talk like a Chinese hooker.


And the number 1 excuse to not have sex:

1. Your gynecologist just called - you still have crabs and
you know how I don't like seafood.

I'm going to get killed with these ... lol

 

[wally2450]

http://pixcastle.com/pic/7320VMGVv/135688.jpg

 

[smoothdevil]

http://pixcastle.com/pic/7320VMGVv/135688.jpg

super ... lol

 

[wally2450]

First Date

This story was told on the Tonight show when Jay Leno went into the audience to find the most embarrassing first d ate that a woman ever had.

The winner described her worst first date experience. There was absolutely no question as to why her tale took the prize!

She said it was midwinter... Snowing and quite cold...and the guy had taken her skiing in the mountains outside Salt Lake City, Utah.

It was a day trip (no overnight). They were strangers, after all, and truly had never met before.

The outing was fun but relatively uneventful until they were headed home late that afternoon.

They were driving back down the mountain, when she gradually began to realize that she should not have had that extra latte.

They were about an hour away from anywhere with a rest room and in the middle of nowhere!

Her companion suggested she try to hold it, which she did for a while.

Unfortunately, because of the heavy snow and slow going, there came a point where she told him that he had better stop and let her go beside the road, or it would be in the front seat of his car. They stopped and she quickly crawled out beside the car, yanked her pants down and started. In the deep snow she didn't have good footing, so she let her butt rest against the rear fender to steady herself.

Her companion stood on the side of the car watching for traffic and indeed was a real gentleman and refrained from peeking. All she could think about was the relief she felt despite the rather embarrassing nature of the situation. Upon finishing however, she soon became aware of another sensation.

As she bent to pull up her pants, the young lady discovered her buttocks were firmly glued against the car's fender.

Thoughts of tongues frozen to poles immediately came to mind as she attempted to disengage her flesh from the icy metal. It was quickly apparent that she had a brand new problem due to the extreme cold.

Horrified by her plight and yet aware of the humor of the moment, she answered her date's concerns about "what is taking so long" with a reply that indeed, she was "freezing her butt off and in need of some assistance!"

He came around the car as she tried to cover herself with her sweater and then, as she looked imploringly into his eyes, he burst out laughing.

She too, got the giggles and when they finally managed to compose themselves, they assessed her dilemma.

Obviously, as hysterical as the situation was, they also were faced with a real problem. Both agreed it would take something hot to free her chilly cheeks from the grip of the icy metal!

Thinking about what had gotten her into the predicament in the first place, both quickly realized that there was only one way to get her free.

So, as she looked the other way, her first-time date proceeded to unzip his pants and pee her butt off the fender. As the audience screamed in laughter, she took the Tonight Show prize hands down.... or perhaps that should be "pants down." And you thought your first dat e was embarrassing.

Jay Leno's comment, "This gives a whole new meaning to being pissed off."

 

[wally2450]

The reason congressmen try so hard to
get reelected is that they would hate to
have to make a living under the laws
they've passed.

****

All eyes were on the radiant bride as her
father escorted her down the aisle. They
reached the altar and the waiting groom;
the bride kissed her father and placed
something in his hand. The guests in the
front pews responded with ripples of
laughter. Even the priest smiled broadly.
As her father gave her away in marriage,
the bride gave him back his credit card.

****

Women and cats will do as they please,
and men and dogs should get used to
the idea.

 

[wally2450]

A man and his attractive companion were enjoying a cocktail party
where one of the other female guests was expounding her philosophy.
"I guess I'm just an animal," she was saying. "All I want to do is
sleep and make love." The man's companion agreed, "I sleep and make
love, too." "Yes," the man said, "but do you do both at the same time!"

 

[wally2450]

Female Rejection Lines

10. I think of you as a brother. Translation:
You remind me of that inbred banjo-playing geek in 'Deliverance.'

9. There's a slight difference in our ages. Translation:
I don't want to do my dad.

8. I'm not attracted to you in 'that' way. Translation:
You are the ugliest dork I've ever laid eyes on.

7. My life is too complicated right now. Translation:
I don't want you spending the whole night or else you may hear
phone calls from all the other guys I'm seeing.

6. I've got a boyfriend. Translation:
I prefer my male cat and a half gallon of Ben and Jerry's.

5. I don't date men where I work. Translation:
I wouldn't date you if you were in the same solar system,
much less the same building.

4. It's not you, it's me. Translation:
It's you.

3. I'm concentrating on my career. Translation:
Even something as boring and unfulfilling as my job
is better than dating you.

2. I'm celibate. Translation:
I've sworn off only the men like you.

1. Let's be friends. Translation:
I want you to stay around so I can tell you in excruciating detail
about all the other men I meet and have sex with.
It's the male perspective thing.

 

[wally2450]

A bloke is sat at a bar when he sees this gorgeous woman waiting for
her date. He decides to go over and chat her up.

'I think you're wasting your time, I'm only interested in women' said
the woman.

'Oh come on, I bet I can change your mind' said the bloke. After ten
minutes of the bloke pestering her, she had had enough.

'OK' said the woman 'I'll sleep with you if you can do anything for
me that my vibrator can't!'

'OK, barman get this lady a drink' he said. 'let's see your vibrator do
that?'

 

[wally2450]

http://pixcastle.com/pic/7320VMGVv/136704.jpg

 

[wally2450]

A woman was flying from Seattle to San Francisco. Unexpectedly, the plane was diverted to Sacramento along the way. The flight attendant explained that there would be a delay, and if the passengers wanted to get off the aircraft the plane would re-board in 50 minutes.

Everybody got off the plane except one lady who was blind. The man had noticed her as he walked by and could tell the lady was blind because her Seeing Eye dog lay quietly underneath the seats in front of her through out the entire flight.

He could also tell she had flown this very flight before because the pilot approached her, and calling her by name, said, "Kathy, we are in Sacramento for almost an hour. Would you like to get off and stretch your legs?" The blind lady replied, "No thanks, but maybe my dog would like to stretch his legs."

Picture this:

All the people in the gate area came to a complete standstill when they looked up and saw the pilot walk off the plane with a Seeing Eye dog ! The pilot was even wearing sunglasses. People scattered. They not only tried to change planes, but they were trying to change airlines!

True story.... Have a great day and remember...

THINGS AREN'T ALWAYS AS THEY APPEAR.

 

[wally2450]

The mother of a 17-year-old girl was concerned that her daughter was
having
sex. Worried the girl might become pregnant, and adversely impact the
family's status, she consulted the family doctor.

The doctor told her that teenagers today were very willful, and any
attempt
to stop the girl would probably result in rebellion. He then told her to
arrange for her daughter to be put on birth control and, until then,
talk to
her and give her a box of condoms.

Later that evening, as her daughter was preparing for a date, the woman
told
her about the situation and handed her a box of condoms.

The girl started to laugh and reached over to hug her mother saying, "Oh
Mom! You don't have to worry about that! I'm dating Susan!"

 

[Becca007]

The mother of a 17-year-old girl was concerned that her daughter was
having
sex. Worried the girl might become pregnant, and adversely impact the
family's status, she consulted the family doctor.

The doctor told her that teenagers today were very willful, and any
attempt
to stop the girl would probably result in rebellion. He then told her to
arrange for her daughter to be put on birth control and, until then,
talk to
her and give her a box of condoms.

Later that evening, as her daughter was preparing for a date, the woman
told
her about the situation and handed her a box of condoms.

The girl started to laugh and reached over to hug her mother saying, "Oh
Mom! You don't have to worry about that! I'm dating Susan!"

Oh my goodness...I love this one!

 

[glynndah]

A mother was working in the kitchen listening to her 5-year-old son playing with his new electric train in the living room. She heard the train stop and her son saying, "All of you sons of bitches who want off, get the hell off now...cause this is the last stop! And all of you sons of bitches who are getting on, get your asses in the train...cause we're going down the tracks."
The horrified mother went in and told her son, "We don't use that kind of language in this house. Now I want you to go to your room and you are to stay there for TWO HOURS. When you come out, you may play with your train...but I want you to use nice language."


Two hours later, the son came out of the bedroom and resumed playing with his train. Soon the train stopped and the mother heard her son say... "All passengers, please remember your things, thank you and hope your trip was a pleasant one. We hope you will ride with us again soon." She heard her little darling continue..."For those of you just boarding, remember, there is no smoking in the train. We hope you will have a pleasant and relaxing journey with us today."

As the mother began to smile, the child added, "For those of you who are pissed off about the TWO HOUR delay.......

........ please see the bitch in the kitchen...."

 

[wally2450]

A shapely Finnish girl was a counselor at a girl's camp on Wonder
Lake. She was at the camp a day early to get things in order, and
when her work was done, she thought it would be nice to start a sun
tan "au natural," since this was private property. Suddenly, she
heard male voices! She jumped up, stood in a crouch, and covered her
bosom with crossed arms. Two young men approached her, asking "Which
way is it to the boy's camp on Wonder Lake?" She said, "Oh, I know
you guys, you just want me to point, so you can see my titties!" "No,
no," they said, "we just want to know what direction we must go,
we're lost." "O.K., she said, straightening up, and standing on her
right leg and lifting her left leg horizontally, she said, "It's
over dat way!"

 

[wally2450]

I hate when I hear people say, 'Nice guys finish last.' Seems every
nice guy I've slept with finished first and didn't last.


Like the song says, there are 50 ways to leave your lover, but
getting caught in bed with her sister is pretty foolproof and makes
for a much shorter list.

 

[luve2fly]

it sure is dark in here...

A woman decides to have a lover during the day while her husband is at work. Unknown to her is that her 8 year old son is hiding in the closet while she and her lover are in bed. The husband comes home early so the lover hides in the closet along with the boy.

"Sure is dark in here, isn't it?", says the boy.
"It sure is." replies the man.
"I have a baseball I'll sell you for $250.00"
"Are you crazy?"
"I'll tell my dad you're in here."
"OK, It's a deal."

A few weeks later the same thing happens and the two are once again together in the closet.
"Sure is dark in here, isn't it?"
"It sure is."
"I'll sell you my baseball glove for $750.00"
"Fine."

The next day, the boy's dad tells his son, "Get your ball and glove and lets go play catch!"
"I can't, dad."
"Why not?"
"I sold them!"
"You sold them? How much did you get for them?"
"A thousand dollars!"
"I'm so ashamed of you!--Taking advantage of someone like that! I'm taking you to church to see the priest tomorrow and you're going to tell him what you did!"

The next day they came to the church. The boy and the priest went into the confessional and shut the door.

"Sure is dark in here, isn't it?", said the boy.
The priest replied, "Don't start that again!"