"I seek like minded individuals"

[TNRkitect2b]

cruel, but affective. I don't get bites. I send messages and never hear from them. is that rude or what? Who could ignor me? I can't understand it!!!!

Don't you know that we have the wrong equipment to get responses? What do you expect? Unless you Look like George Clooney AND have the moeny of Bill Gates, you will get nada. Just a sad fact of life.

 

[DVS]

Don't you know that we have the wrong equipment to get responses? What do you expect? Unless you Look like George Clooney AND have the moeny of Bill Gates, you will get nada. Just a sad fact of life.

The Clooney part I have covered.

 

[TNRkitect2b]

The Clooney part I have covered.

But not the money that goes with it

 

[CutieMouse]

*****

 

[CutieMouse]

*****

 

[TNRkitect2b]

I don't want money. I've had 3 offers to date to be a kept woman and I've declined them all. I want connection, kinkiness, intelligence, and snugglies.

Yes, but we have already determined that you are a unique, good looking, intelligent, kinky mouse who doesn't like immature games.

 

[CutieMouse]

*****

 

[TNRkitect2b]

And those who don't respond back to DVS obiously have no idea of all the fun they are missing out on. (for proof just read his stories and posts).

 

[Marquis]

Let up on the coffee, perhaps? You have to be calm and realaxed...and very patient. Or, they think you are a sicko looking for a quick lay.
Even if you are, you can't act like one!!!!

I'm not Mr. Right, I'm Mr. Right Now.

 

[Etoile]

"I have two pet peeves when it comes to on-line communication. If u r to laZ to type like a grownup 4 me, ur email will be D-leeted, unread. Y/you may have noticed that i do not do the C/caps T/thing. A/anyone who demands or uses T/the C/caps T/thing will also be deleted unread. i can handle typos and mis-pellings, as i do that myself, (though i do try to spell check) but the two things above really irritate me."

Will you marry me? http://www.amanita.net/images/smilies/flirt.gif

 

[Etoile]

I think I am going to set up a collarme profile just for fun. I will try to make it honest but I am not telling who I am! The part I am going to skip over is the fact that I am already quite taken...yeah, it's probably mean to let people think I'm single but it seems like a little diversion and I could use some amusement.

Edit: Damn, this is going to be hard. Maybe I should try Alt.com or something, where I can just check boxes to say what I like.

 

[Marquis]

Let up on the coffee, perhaps? You have to be calm and realaxed...and very patient. Or, they think you are a sicko looking for a quick lay.
Even if you are, you can't act like one!!!!

OK, a serious question then. If it takes so long, how do you hedge the risk of spending a lot of time with a prospective mate that turns out to be not what you expected?

Do you maintain online relationships with several women at a time?

 

[sincerely_helene]

OK, a serious question then. If it takes so long, how do you hedge the risk of spending a lot of time with a prospective mate that turns out to be not what you expected?

You don't.

 

[Marquis]

In that case, I have better ways to spend my time than throwing darts blindfolded.

 

[Krinaia]

Will you marry me? http://www.amanita.net/images/smilies/flirt.gif

If she won't, I will and uhm, have a blast with the collarme.com profile... and share with us the ridiculousness of it all!

Don't you know that we have the wrong equipment to get responses? What do you expect? Unless you Look like George Clooney AND have the moeny of Bill Gates, you will get nada. Just a sad fact of life.

Just for saying that, I retract all my past flirting you shallow thing you.

cruel, but affective. I don't get bites. I send messages and never hear from them. is that rude or what? Who could ignor me? I can't understand it!!!!

yah but remember, some girls - such as myself - would not reply simply because you had ignored the rule that i do not wish to be contacted by anyone over 40. now, thing is, here i enjoy your conversation but here i would not be trying to hook up with you, its nothing personal really. the only reason i would reply would be to tell you to bug off - which is ruder than ignoring you or i might reply if you said something amusing but than it would only be because you said something amusing and not because i was interested and that might be considered cruel to get your hopes up... so its always a lose-lose for us subbies!

 

[Marquis]

Honestly, I prefer being told to bug off more than being ignored. I'm not sure if other men feel that way.

 

[witcha]

I still have my account on alt and more than 90 messages there...If I'm not interested I don't reply unless I'm specifically asked to let them know whatever my decision is. The thing is I did it..replied to this one guy and 3 messages later he still doesn't understand my 'no,I'm not interested'... I swear one more message and I'm blocking him




witcha

 

[Marquis]

I will never understand females.

 

[DVS]

OK, a serious question then. If it takes so long, how do you hedge the risk of spending a lot of time with a prospective mate that turns out to be not what you expected?

Do you maintain online relationships with several women at a time?

Just like sincerely_helene says, you don't know. This whole process is a toss up. They could be lying about their body size or shape, about their personality, what they like and don't like, or like some do...just be playing you along for the sheer thrill of it all.

I spent several days chatting with one sub (?) who lives quite close to me, and when I asked if she felt like meeting to continue our conversations in person...she said no. I asked why not and she would never answer me, after that. Who knows what she had on her mind, from the very beginning. Needless to say, I was pissed. But, what are you going to do about it? Some people are just ass holes.

I met one on line, and when it came time to meet, we were exchanging pictures. She promptly told me her pictures were a few years old, when she was thinner. Now, I wasn't that concerned about the fact she might be a bit heavier than her picutes as much as I was concerned about (1) her reasons for lying and (2) what else would she lie to me about that I would find out about later? We decided not to meet, and she has since changed her profile to reflect her body size. We chatted for several days on line, (as is my way) to allow her to feel safe with meeting me. As it turned out, I didn't feel safe meeting her.

Everybody is different, but we all are looking for someone who matches our needs and desires. Such a search takes time and patience. Sure, there will be those who llie and those who don't respond to your requests to chat. Who knows why people do what they do. I think it's sad that some play with other's affections in that way.

And, sure, there are men who just don't get the hint when someone says they're not interested. But, when I make an offer to their ad, I feel I deserve the respect of an answer, be it "no thanks" or whatever. No response at all leaves one wondering just what their intentions were, in the first place. I read all profiles and respect their wishes when someone says "no men", "no old men", "no single men" , etc. Personally, I feel the sites that match people up this way would be much better, if there was a process to respond to bonified prospects.

I don't care if it's just to say "no fucking way would I meet you, you loser!", that would be 1,000 times better than not hearing anything at all, which seems to be the norm. I don't have a thin skin for someone who doesn't like me for some reason. I'm the same way, and I respect what someone is looking for, just as they should respect what I'm looking for.

What I don't respect is someone who won't respond to my legitimat request to meet with a simple reply of "no" and hopefully, why. Actually, this allows me to better hone the search and less likely I'm gonna make the same (and obviously incorrect) effort a second time.

Sure, I understand there are those who just send messages to everybody, usiing the shotgun method of getting someone to write back with a positive response. I agree, that's not the correct way to do it. But, who's to say those people aren't just tired of getting no response at all, and feel the shotgun way is the only way they can get SOMEONE to answer them?

And, I also understand it's more difficult for the woman to filter through the riff raff to find the gems they are looking for. But, I know I have something to offer the right person. The problem is, that person might not ever know me, because she didn't respond to my advances. Sure, you might say that's her loss, and I'd agree. But, it's also my loss, too, if you ask me.

Life sucks, sometimes. And, looking for a kinky partner really isn't an easy search, for anybody. But, you take the time to read and understand, you are polite and courteous and sincere, and you literally hope for the best, in the end.

 

[TNRkitect2b]

Just for saying that, I retract all my past flirting you shallow thing you.

Not shallow, just realistic. I have tried all of the major sites in the past, complete with well written and thought out descriptions. The only reaponses I have ever received were from russian ladies trolling for a greencard. Realistic contacts? Zero.

This is one of the reasons I like Lit. In getting to know people through the written medium, I have managed to meet up with my last two signifigant others here. Was I looking hard? Not really. But that's two good relationships for free, versus zero contacts via the paid services elsewhere.

 

[CutieMouse]

*****

 

[TaintedB]

I still have my account on alt and more than 90 messages there...If I'm not interested I don't reply unless I'm specifically asked to let them know whatever my decision is. The thing is I did it..replied to this one guy and 3 messages later he still doesn't understand my 'no,I'm not interested'... I swear one more message and I'm blocking him
witcha

Even worse are the ones who are super inappropropriate (like a dom trolling for a harem when you specifically said you were looking for a monogamous relationship), whom you answer, despite how offended you feel by their ignoring what you are looking for with a polite and neutral "no thanks, I'm not interested," and then get back an raving, screaming, really cutting personal attack in which the person you politely turned down accuses _you_ of attacking _them_ and calls you psycho. This happened to a girlfirend of mine recently and it really hurt her so it's on the top of my mind at the moment. Ignoring such people from the very start, and not replying with a "polite no" is often the best policy, if you love yourself and care about your own well-being. There's no reason to have to suffer through that sort of awful crap from strangers.

This is easily the 100th time or maybe even the 200th time a woman, whether kinky or straight, has told me a story like that. Lots of people turn into weird monsters when they hit the Internet. All sense of decency and boundaries flies out the window and they get hypersensitive and jump all over somebody because of their own issues, not because of anything that person did.

Now, while not everyone turns into a raving lunatic when turned down, a great many otherwise decent seeming men do exactly what witcha has described: they don't respect the fact that a woman just doesn't feel they are right for her and takes her polite "no" as an opening to argue their case more forcefully. And if you say no again, they write back with an even more forceful "Yes you should like me!" response. And if you continue to politely and neutrally say, "no I am not intersted" they soon get down to very vicious and personal attacks. Their egos are what is at risk, I guess, so there must be something very, very wrong with you if you don't see how perfect they are for you. These are the types (well, them and the raving lunatics) that make women just ignore a personal-ad response that they aren't attracted to, rather than write back "no" to it. You learn pretty fast on these personal boards that saying "no" just brings you lots of hell and makes what should be a happy and enjoyable experience a really miserable one.

That's one of the reasons why you fellows who are decent and are responding to appropriate ads often don't get a reply back. For some reason the woman doesn't like something about your response, and she's learned through a lot of bad past experiences that she's likely to be burned if she simply says no. These women can't tell you from the assholes: the assholes and the crazies know how to sound just like you do--at least in the first letter. Unfortunately, that's all a woman has to go by.

Of course, another reason you don't get responses is because many women are insensitve, selfish, narcissistic bitches who don't give a damn about how other people feel and are doing the personals for ego-boosting gaming. Rather than feeling hurt by that, however, I'm surprised you aren't really glad that such female jerks ignore you.

 

[dania]

Even worse are the ones who are super inappropropriate (like a dom trolling for a harem when you specifically said you were looking for a monogamous relationship), whom you answer, despite how offended you feel by their ignoring what you are looking for with a polite and neutral "no thanks, I'm not interested," and then get back an raving, screaming, really cutting personal attack in which the person you politely turned down accuses _you_ of attacking _them_ and calls you psycho. This happened to a girlfirend of mine recently and it really hurt her so it's on the top of my mind at the moment. Ignoring such people from the very start, and not replying with a "polite no" is often the best policy, if you love yourself and care about your own well-being. There's no reason to have to suffer through that sort of awful crap from strangers.

.....


That's one of the reasons why you fellows who are decent and are responding to appropriate ads often don't get a reply back. For some reason the woman doesn't like something about your response, and she's learned through a lot of bad past experiences that she's likely to be burned if she simply says no. These women can't tell you from the assholes: the assholes and the crazies know how to sound just like you do--at least in the first letter. Unfortunately, that's all a woman has to go by.

Of course, another reason you don't get responses is because many women are insensitve, selfish, narcissistic bitches who don't give a damn about how other people feel and are doing the personals for ego-boosting gaming. Rather than feeling hurt by that, however, I'm surprised you aren't really glad that such female jerks ignore you.

Right. Most of you guys are not jerks, and you do deserve better. Which is why i've been trying the polite "no thanks, i don't think we're compatable." line. The thing is, nice clueful guys like the majority of the ones on this board are not the type to respond innapropriately to an add. As DVS says, he doesn't respond to adds that say "no men" or whatever. By definition, the single guys sending me these notes ARE the clueless kind or the wouldn't be doing it!

Now, there were several clueless females, too, that responded to me. However, most of them at least read the ad! i had one woman go completely postal when i said "no thanks", and another that responded to my "now thank" note, trying to persuade me to meet her at a mall in San Fransisco the following weekend. i said no, again, a little more firmly this time, and it went on for a few more exchanges. Finally, i blocked her...

Now then, Etoile, about putting in "single": do it as non single anyway, and you'll get tons of responses anyway. I'll marry you if the wife doesn't mind!

 

[graceanne]

Actually if you wanna get a lot of interesting responces, don't put anything at all. I was looking for people in my area who are looking for friends. So I filled out basic stuff at collarme.com, so that i could look through the profiles. All I can say is that not putting anything drove several people crazy with curiousity, cause I was getting 3 or 4 'responses' a day. I finally had to go finish filling out my profile, so that people would STOP EMAILING ME. lol If I ever get bored enough, I might go and delete my profile and see what happens.

 

[Etoile]

Well I put up my profile last night for approval. As of this morning it's still waiting. And yet...

About half an hour after I joined I got this from a male dom:

hello there,
your profile is still shows as "pending approval" so I am not sure if we are compatible. Maybe we can have a chat and see if this might be the case.

And then six minutes later...

I dont get a reply?!

Hmmm. You know zero about me. You don't know if we're compatible. And yet you're yelling at me for not replying within SIX MINUTES? Jeez, maybe I type slow or something. (I type about 115wpm, but he doesn't need to know that.) Great way to make a first impression, buddy.